Chapter 23 X
X
Harold yowled from the carrier wedged between the seats, like I’d personally offended his ancestors by forcing him into it. My forearms were covered in fresh scratches, and one of my hoodie strings had been severed in the battle.
He’d peed in the carrier.
All in all, seemed like we were doing quite well. Maybe even on our way to becoming friends.
The hiss Harold gave from his kitty jail like he could read my mind seemed to say otherwise.
I peered through the mesh into his green eyes. “I love you too, and I always will.”
“That cat wants you to die so he can eat your eyeballs,” Whip said from the front seat.
I squeezed the sides of the soft cat carrier, pushing them in so they muffled Harold’s ears. “Would you stop giving him ideas? I’m pretty sure he hissed the word ‘die’ at me this morning.”
Whip sniggered; his gaze concentrated on the long stretch of boring freeway ahead of us.
I put Harold’s carrier back down, in the hopes he might go to sleep and stop plotting my demise, and turned my attention to the other bag I’d brought along.
“Speaking of eyes, is it time for a road trip game of I Spy? I have snacks, too. Pringles for Levi, Twizzlers for Whip, and Cheetos for Violet.”
Violet took her packet from my fingers. “Thank you.”
“They aren’t going to make your tatted-up vagina feel any better.” I rummaged around in the bag. “I did also buy you an icepack for that though.”
She laughed. “Um, thanks? But honestly, it’s very small. It doesn’t hurt that much.”
“Are you talking about the tattoo or Levi’s cock?”
He flipped me the bird from the front seat without even looking back.
With all the snacks I’d brought for them handed out, I clapped my hands together. “Okay, so I spy—”
Whip groaned. “Do we have to do this?”
“Would you rather I sing ninety-nine bottles?”
He and I had done a road trip once before, helping out Fang and some of the other Slayers to retrieve Rebel’s little sister from the cult her parents were raising her in. I still thought it was one of my best performances of the song. Whip had strongly disagreed.
“No! Anything but that song.” Whip clenched the steering wheel tighter.
“So you’ll play?”
He sighed heavily. “If I must.”
“Great! Violet can go first.”
She munched on a Cheeto and swallowed before she answered. “I spy, with my little eye…something beginning with S.”
“Sadness,” I said instantly, pointing at Levi.
“Shut up,” Levi muttered. “I’m not sad.”
“Sorry, but grumpy didn’t start with S.”
Whip made an offering. “Sun?”
“Nope.” Violet tossed another Cheeto in her mouth.
“Semen,” I said. “Because Levi’s is probably still in you.”
Violet turned around and threw a balled-up napkin at me. “It was street sign, but thanks for giving everyone that visual.”
I bounced on the seat. “Ooh! Double S! You get two points for that, you know. Who’s going next?”
“You,” all three of them said in unison.
“Great! I spy with my little eye, something beginning with B.”
Whip looked out the window. “Bridge?”
“Balls. Specifically yours, that are now tragically full since Levi took Violet’s pussy out of commission.”
Whip glanced back at me in the rearview mirror. “I have others in this car who can help me out with that.”
My mouth dropped open, and I snatched up Harold’s carrier. “You will not defile my cat, Whip! Do not even THINK about getting the peanut butter out and coating your balls in it so he’ll lick them.”
Everyone just stared at me.
Violet was the one who choked out a response. “He meant Levi.”
“Ohhhh.” I grinned, putting Harold’s carrier back down. “That makes more sense. I forgot the two of you were butt buddies.” I cast a look at Levi. “Is that how you caught Whip? You put peanut butter on your balls?”
“X, I honestly need to know if you have a brain injury. Because it would really explain SO much.”
I grinned at Levi. “I spy with my little eye, something beginning with D.”
Levi sighed and said, “Dashboard,” at the same time Violet said, “Daddy.”
Now it was her turn to get stared at.
Her cheeks went pink.
“Who are you calling Daddy?” I choked out, my gaze flitting between Whip and Levi. “It’s Whip, isn’t it? It’s the gray hair?”
Levi cleared his throat uncomfortably.
My gaze snapped to him. “Oh my God, it’s you! You filled her up with cum, tattooed your name on her vag, and then had her call you Daddy!”
Levi groaned and rubbed a hand over his face like he was regretting every life choice that had led him to this moment.
Violet squeaked, “It wasn’t like that!”
I leaned forward, eyes wide. “It so was like that! I can see it, Vi. Sand in your crack, Levi all growly, the moonlight reflecting off your freshly inked girl bits while he whispers—”
“X!” Levi barked.
But I was cackling now with my imitations totally on point, even if I did say so myself. “‘Say it, Violet. Who’s your tattoo artist and your daddy?’”
Whip was straight-up wheezing, doubled over in the front seat.
“Are we there yet?” Levi complained.
I sniggered to myself. “We have plenty of time for more of this, Daddy. Eat your Pringles.”