Chapter 44 Violet
VIOLET
The clubhouse erupted in cheers when the four of us limped our way through the doors. My ankle had swollen up to grapefruit size, courtesy of the fall I’d taken into Francine’s pit of hell. Whip was on crutches, completely unable to put weight on his bad leg.
Fang stood at the front of the crowd, holding his youngest daughter in one arm. But that didn’t stop him from striding forward and wrapping his other arm around my head and holding me tight. The hug was almost more of a headlock and felt so naturally brotherly that it made me laugh into his shirt.
“You’re hurt,” he complained.
“Sprained ankle. Nothing more.” Though that wasn’t quite true. I pulled out of his embrace and looked up at him. “I know you suddenly gained a niece and nephew just recently, but I was wondering if you maybe wanted one more?”
His eyes widened. “What does that mean? You…you’re…”
“Pregnant,” I filled in for him.
His mouth opened and closed a few times, and then his gaze slid to Levi. “You knocked my little sister up?”
“Hey now, why are we assuming Levi did? Could have been me.” X folded his arms across his chest.
Fang switched his glare in X’s direction, and X suddenly saw the error of his ways.
He pointed at Whip. “He slept with her first!”
And that was about enough of that conversation.
Fang looked pained, but he kissed the top of my head affectionately. “I’m just going to tell myself it was a miracle conception.”
Rebel snorted from behind him. “That how our babies were conceived too, babe? It wasn’t that dirty hot foursome where I had your dick—”
Fang circled his arm around her and fit his hand over her mouth.
Her muffled laughter filled the room, and she winked at me.
I searched for the only two little faces I really wanted to see. “Where are Will and Ari?”
Rebel dragged Fang’s hand down off her mouth. “Down at Kara’s place, playing with Hayley Jade and my older two. Little Jax is helping to watch them.”
Little Jax was Rebel and Kara’s youngest sister, who at around fourteen, was the very cool young aunt all the kids adored.
I didn’t need to tell anyone I wanted to go see them. The guys led me toward the door, Rebel and my brother close behind.
War called after us. “Slayers family night tonight! We’ll put on the food and drink. I think we all need it.”
I was exhausted, but he was right. Being surrounded by safety and these people who had opened their doors for us time and time again, was exactly what I needed.
I wanted to live in this bubble for just a bit longer.
It was the comedown from the adrenaline high.
Tomorrow, or next week, we’d find our groove again with the kids and with pregnancy, and I’d be asking Bliss for more hours at Psychos or searching for another day job.
Whip probably would be too. But tonight, I just wanted this.
Family. Friends. A fence around us only to keep out the wildlife, instead of people who wanted to kill us.
The baby in my belly. The two kids we’d opened our home to. And the three men who’d stolen my heart.
Will scrunched his nose up at the ultrasound photo we showed him. “That’s not a baby.”
I chuckled and pointed at the bean-shaped object on the printout. “I know it doesn’t look like one right now, but I promise you, it’s growing every day, and the next time we get to see it, it will definitely be baby shaped.”
Will looked at me like I might be lying to him, and I ruffled his hair.
What I really wanted to do was pull him onto my lap and hug and kiss him to pieces, but we were still letting them come to us in their own way and in their own time. I’d been worried that as soon as they started school, they would say something about the night we’d taken them from that house.
But neither had said a word. Whip thought they were probably smart enough to realize what might happen to me if they said anything, and both were already very attached to me.
I suspected both of them would rather think about anything other than that night.
Their childhoods were full of trauma they would need to unpack with therapists at some point.
But for now, it seemed to me like they’d blocked it out entirely.
I saw it in little things they did, so I knew it was there, buried deep, but I was no longer worried they would bring it up at school.
Will ran off with Madden, and I couldn’t help but smile at the new cousins who had become fast friends. Madden was a boy’s boy through and through, and Will had been happily coerced into games of trucks and Nerf guns and footballs.
I glanced over at Ari. She hadn’t said a word.
I bit my lip. “Did you want to look at the photo of the baby?”
“No.”
“That’s okay,” I said quickly. “You don’t have to.”
X and Levi looked worried, but neither said anything.
I wasn’t exactly sure what to do either.
I’d had no training in dealing with the grief and trauma of a child who’d watched her parents die right in front of her.
Even if they hadn’t been good people, they’d been the only parents she’d known.
While things seemed to roll off Will’s back, Ari took them deep, internalizing them, thinking them over in a way that made me feel like she was so much older than her years.
I hated that she’d had to grow up. Hated her parents hadn’t protected her and allowed her to be an innocent child who openly trusted the world was a good place.
Whip inched forward on the couch, wincing as he moved his leg awkwardly but the dad in him needing to get closer to her. “You’re allowed to be mad about the baby. Or sad. Or happy. Or whatever else you want to feel.”
Ari shook her head.
X plonked down next to her. “Personally, I’m scared.” He leaned in and stage whispered to her. “Scared of the poopy diapers!” He held his nose theatrically, clearly trying to make her laugh.
And to his credit, her lips did flicker up into a half-smile, but it faded quickly, her gaze coming back to me. Her bottom lip trembled.
My heart shattered into a million pieces.
This little girl might have only been in my life a couple of weeks, but I was already so in love with her.
It was impossible not to be when I had been her.
I related to her so easily and just wanted to fix every horrible memory so all she had left was good ones.
I couldn’t do that, but I had already committed to trying, so one day, when she was older, she could at least say she had more good memories than bad ones.
I didn’t want this to be one of the bad ones.
I picked up her hand and just quietly gave her the space to talk in her own time.
Eventually, with her eyes full of tears, and her voice barely more than a whisper, she asked, “When do I have to go back?”
Levi’s forehead furrowed. “Go back where, sweet girl?”
“To my real parents’ house.”
I smoothed back the hair from her face. Her forehead was sticky with sweat, but it wasn’t even hot, and it broke my heart that the sweat was probably a stress reaction. I kept my voice gentle. “You’re never going back there.”
Her face crumpled. “Then where will I go?”
“You’ll stay with us,” I assured her.
“But where will I go when your baby comes?”
I suddenly realized what she meant.
I couldn’t help myself. I scooped her up in my arms and tucked her onto my lap, holding her close. “Ari, you’ll go nowhere when this baby comes. This baby isn’t replacing you.”
She peered up at me through big eyes. “But it doesn’t have a bed to sleep in.”
I laughed a little at that. “We’ll buy it one.”
I could see the idea starting to sink in, the thoughts processing through her mind, one by one. “Can she sleep next to me?”
I nodded. “Absolutely, if you want her to.”
“Him,” X corrected. “It could be a boy.”
Ari wrinkled her nose at that.
Whip ruffled her hair. “Hey, I’m a boy. And so are X and Levi and Will. We’re all right, aren’t we?”
She shrugged. “I guess so. But I still hope it’s a girl.” She looked up at me. “Can I go play now, Mommy?”
I froze at that word on her lips, but Whip gently nudged me, startling me into a fast nod. “Of course. Go.”
The moment she disappeared into Hayley Jade’s bedroom to play with her and Remi, I burst into tears.
Levi pulled me into his arms and held me while I got myself under control. His lips brushed over the top of my head. “That was the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard,” he whispered to me. “Her calling you Mommy. Fuck, I can’t wait for the day she calls me Dad.”
I couldn’t wait for that either.
Lynx showed up at the club gates as discussions about what needed to be prepared for dinner commenced. Levi told the prospects to let him in, and he and I stood among the bikes and cars and an ice cream truck in the parking lot, waiting for Lynx to make his way down the hill on foot.
Expression pinched, Levi watched his old cellmate stroll down the dirt road.
I squeezed Levi’s fingers. “Lynx wasn’t involved with Francine or Travis. So why are you looking like the Grim Reaper is walking toward us right now?”
He kept his voice low. “Last time I saw Lynx, he said I owed him. I’m pretty sure this—him turning up here unannounced—is him claiming that debt.”
Nerves flittered around my belly, but if that was true, how bad could it be? Lynx would have to have a death wish to walk in the Slayers’ gates and start something with a member. The entire club was here, rubbernecking while they got ready to barbecue.
We fell silent as he drew closer, and eventually Lynx stopped in front of us.
He shook Levi’s hand and then turned to me. “Hey, Violet.”
I offered him a smile, trying to break the tension, while also trying to subtly remind him that Levi had people here. “You picked a good night for a visit. We’re having a full club barbecue. All the members and their families are here.”
I could feel the gazes of Whip and X from across the yard. Fang and War and Hawk all hovered around, keeping an eye on the newcomer since he was an unknown in their territory.