9. Reaper
Reaper
“What the hell were you thinking!”
I’m sitting in my brother’s office at the clubhouse.
At first, I had no other choice but to keep what happened with Paris a secret.
I had to decide how to handle the situation without getting Sin City involved.
However, now that Gavin’s ran his fucking mouth, and after a week of keeping things quiet, I don’t have the time to figure things out on my own.
For the past week, I’ve been trying to settle this situation without involving the Sinners, but nothing is panning out.
They’re still looking for Paris and I still have no way to solve the situation other than to go to war with the Bratva, which I don’t want to do.
The Pakhan is not going to stop looking for her.
She almost killed his son, and I’m involved because the Russian’s believe I helped her do it.
Fucking idiots.
The club is involved because I’m involved. It took a while to admit it to myself but it’s the truth. I thought I could keep what I did outside the club private, but I was wrong.
“I fight and I go home, Dylan.”
“That means nothing, Logan.” He tosses his hands in the air in frustration. “You’re in the enemy’s territory with none of us around. Do you not understand that?”
“Everywhere we go is dangerous because we’re fucking Sinners, Dylan. You know it, and so do I. It doesn’t matter if I’m in the enemy’s territory or not.”
He stares at me, and I lean back in the chair. He knows I’m right. It doesn’t matter if I’m fighting in Bratva territory or going to the damn grocery store. We will always be targets for our enemies.
Always.
Fighting is something I need to do to heal my soul.
It’s been a slow go of things, but I think I’m finally getting somewhere.
Not only does fighting help, but I think helping Paris deal with her shit, is helping too.
I’ve been so focused on the problem, I haven’t been overexerting myself in the ring, and I don’t have the need to kill anyone other than who’s trying to hurt Paris. So, I’m making progress.
After her nightmare, things feel different between us.
I’m more in tuned with her than I probably should be.
I’m not sure how to feel about the changes she’s causing in me, but I can admit it has to do with her because fighting isn’t getting me to the place I want to be.
And I didn’t realize it until this shit happened.
“Did you kill, Aleksi?”
Word of the Bratva’s top enforcer’s disappearance spread through the underworld like wildfire, causing whispers among its organizations.
I sigh. There’s no need to keep it a secret anymore. “I did because he came after me.”
I can see the displeasure on his face which is only going to get worse the longer this conversation goes on.
“He was following me. So, I took care of him.”
I don’t drop Lila’s or Snake’s name because I should have taken care of the situation by myself.
King will blow up even more because I involved her and a brother without getting the okay from him first. But I’m not worried.
If Snake says anything I can’t blame him.
He’s following the rules. However, the whores know not to say anything about club business.
And if she can’t keep her mouth closed, then I’ll close it for her.
“Because of the fighting?”
“Probably.” I shrug. “You know how Nikita hates to lose, especially to us. So, I believed he sent him after me.”
“And what about Nikita?”
I interlace my fingers behind my head. “What about him?”
I answer his question with a question even though I know it will piss him off. I don’t like people in my business, and I’m getting irritated sitting here trying to explain this entire situation.
“Logan don’t fucking play with me. Not now.”
“If you’re asking if I had anything to do with his attack, the answer is no, King. If it had been me, his ass would be six feet under. Was I there? The answer is yes.”
“You were there?”
“Yes, I was there that night in the locker room getting ready for my fight. But I was not in the room when it happened.”
I didn’t try to kill Nikita, but I understand the implications of me being at the warehouse when it happened and what it may look like to the Russians especially since I disappeared.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” He leans back in his chair, groaning. “What in your goddamn mind told you that it would be a good fucking idea to go into Bratva territory and fight?”
“Look, there are things you don’t know about me, and I’m not going to share before you fucking ask.” He narrows his eyes at me but doesn’t cut in. “But going to the underground fights is necessary for me. However, we have bigger problems.”
“And what problem is bigger than you being in Bratva territory the same night Nikita Petrov was almost stabbed to death?”
He pinches the bridge of his nose before glaring at me.
He’s barely holding onto the shred of control he has left, and I know this will push him over the edge.
However, there’s no point in prolonging the inevitable.
My brother is volatile sometimes and not being in the loop makes shit ten times worse.
“I know who attacked Nikita.”
He leans forward, planting his forearms on his desk. “And how do you know who tried to kill Nikita, if you weren’t in the fucking room?”
“Because she’s staying at my condo.”
He picks up the tumbler of whiskey from his desk and throws it. I duck out of the way just as it whizzes past my head and slams against the door.
He jumps to his feet, planting his palms on his desk as he leans forward. “Have you lost your goddamn mind!”
If he wasn’t my brother, this conversation would have taken a completely different turn with one of us, or both of us, going to the emergency room.
I arch my brow, pushing down the urge to kill my big brother. “No. But apparently, you’ve lost yours. I’m going to respect you as my brother and as my Prez, King. But if you do some shit like that again, we’re going to have a real problem. I’m not some kid or a prospect you can intimidate.”
“Watch your fucking mouth, little brother.” He points at me, his face contorts with rage causing the veins at his temples to bulge. “You’re already skating on thin ice with me. Keep fucking around and I’ll fuck you up.”
“Look, I don’t have to explain my actions about fighting at the club to anyone, including you.”
I ignore his threat. He’s my big brother, and he can throw down with the best of them.
But I can hold my own against him. I’m not a kid anymore and he can’t just beat my ass without me giving it to him in return.
I don’t want it to come to blows but if it does, it is what is.
And I’ll make sure he knows who he’s really fucking with.
I’m not the same person he knew years ago.
“You goddamn better explain it to me when your damn actions put you and all of us at risk! What the hell are you not understanding!”
It’s not that I don’t understand it. I completely understand.
I just wanted to handle shit myself without pulling everyone else in it.
King has every right to be upset with my decisions, but it still won’t change what I’ve done.
I would still have fought in Bratva territory, and I still would have tried to help Paris.
“I’ll explain the situation with Paris because you do deserve to hear it since it’s pulled the club into this shit.”
Why I fight, I’m keeping that shit to myself.
He grunts and drops back into his seat. “I’m listening. And Logan don’t leave shit out.”
“She attacked him in self-defense.”
I can see the doubt stamped into every line of his face before he ever says a word.
“And how do you know it was self-defense if you weren’t in the goddamn room?”
The rhythmic tap-tap-tap of my finger against my thigh is a physical display of my mounting impatience. Of course, he doesn’t know her to believe her, but at least he can take my word for it.
“I don’t have any concrete evidence it was self-defense, Dylan.
As I’ve said, I wasn’t in the room. But I know Nikita better than you.
I’ve had contact with him more than I would like.
And I’m learning a lot about Paris too. She may have planned to kill him, but there’s no way she didn’t do it without him attacking her first. She’s not like that. ”
“You don’t know what the hell she’s like, Logan. You don’t know the bitch.”
I narrow my eyes at him. “Call her a bitch again and we’re gonna have problems, Dylan. I’m so goddamn serious.”
When he says nothing, I think I’ve got my point across. I’m not going to allow anyone to talk down about her or talk down to her. She’s had enough of that shit, and I refuse to let it continue while she’s under my protection.
“Maybe I don’t know her, King, but like I’ve said, I know Nikita a hell of a lot better than any of you. She had a good damn reason for doing what she did.”
He folds his arms across his chest. “Then if you believe that, why in the hell didn’t you go to the cops if it was self-defense?” he asks, like that would have been the most sensible thing to do. “Instead of bringing this shit to our doorstep.”
When the hell do we ever get the cops involved? And I sure as hell wouldn’t be around when they showed up.
“I don’t understand why the hell you didn’t drop her ass off at the police station and wipe your hands of all this bullshit?”
Because I’m drawn to her. There’s just something about her and I can’t let her go through this by herself.
“Now with her living with you,” he continues, not giving me a chance to respond to his question, “Oleg is going to think you’re involved in his son’s attack, which means the Sinners are involved.”
“You don’t think I already know that shit, Dylan?” I raise my brow. “Do you want to hear what happened or are you going to keep interrupting me before you know the entire story?”
“Fuck you, motherfucker.” He tosses his hand at me. “Get on with it.”
“Long story short she was payment for a debt and a gift from Oleg. Nikita kept her in his house for the past six months doing shit to her that she hasn’t repeated to me.
And I refuse to force her to tell me, but I know it was horrible because she has nightmares every night.
That night she just decided it was time to escape, and he ended up threatening her because of me. ”
He arches his brow. “What the hell did you do?”
“She’s fucking gorgeous, and I kind of pissed him off when I looked at her, while he was standing there.
” I shrug. “Anyway, on the way to the cage during her escape she ran into me after she stabbed him. She wasn’t even sure if she had killed him.
I didn’t find out he survived until later.
So, she’s been staying with me while I figure out a way to keep her alive. ”
“And why the fuck didn’t you just come to me when all this shit happened? And I’m talking about all of it—the fighting, Aleksi, and about this girl. Why didn’t you tell me about all of it?”
His voice, though carefully controlled, betrays a tremor of disappointment and hurt.
And I know why. It’s been a long time since I’ve gone to King for anything.
After Blake’s death, I needed to do shit on my own.
That kind of loss just does shit to you.
I didn’t even come back to Oakland until months after her death.
I wanted to deal with my problems without anyone else telling me how to feel about the shit I’ve gone through. And Paris’s situation is no different.
“Sometimes you have to work out shit on your own, Dylan. There are some things you can’t fix for me no matter how much you want to.
I have to work through it by myself. I don’t expect you or anyone else to understand but fighting helps me.
It keeps me sane. The issue with Paris, I wanted to see if I could get it cleared up on my own before pulling all the brothers into it. ”
“Like I said, we were already in it the first day you stepped foot in that damn warehouse, Logan.” He runs his hand through his hair. “There’s no way to get around that. The question is where do we go from here? How do we get through this without having a war with the Bratva?”
“I don’t know, but we have to protect her. She doesn’t deserve any of the shit that’s happened to her, and I’m going to make sure she makes it out alive.”
He narrows his eyes. While I see the question ‘ who is this girl to you’ hanging on the tip of his tongue, he doesn’t ask, which I’m grateful for. I haven’t decided who she is to me yet. Only that she’s something.
“You want to bring her to the clubhouse?”
Although that’s the best option for her safety, I don’t know how she would deal with being around all the brothers and the shit that happens around here given the situation she just got out of.
“Not just yet. I don’t know what her mental state would be if she’s surrounded by all the brothers and the shit we get up to here. It might trigger her. She’s already dealing with nightmares. I don’t want to make it more difficult for her.”
He blows out a breath, like what we’re getting ready to do is about to be a shitstorm, and I can’t disagree. But I’m not sorry for what I’ve done. I couldn’t help Blake, but I can help Paris.
“Understandable. She stays with you, at least for now. I’m calling Church. Lives are on the line, and you’ve already made the decision for all of us with your actions. You better make sure the brothers understand why this girl is worth Sinner blood.”
I nod. As long as she’s safe, I don’t care what we have to do to keep it that way. So, I guess she is worth Sinner blood.