Chapter 22
Reaper
From my seat at the bar, I watch Mae and Timber.
She’s sitting on his lap on a couch as they talk to a few of our brothers.
The sight has a pain of longing shooting through my chest, but I brush it away for now.
I watch her for a few minutes, trying to gauge where she is mentally after torturing and questioning Luscious, Carter Johnson, and Andrew Johnson downstairs.
Not to mention reliving more of her past that she apparently repressed. Not that I blame her one bit.
Standing, I cross the room and stop when I get to the edge of the couch. Clearing my throat, Mae looks up at me and I work to keep my worry off my face.
“Lil’ Bit, is it okay if we talk for a bit?”
A slight tremble runs through her and I mentally curse myself for making her nervous. Timber picks up on my intent and he gives her a small hug and kisses her temple.
“It’s okay, Sunshine. He probably just wants to make sure you’re okay after everything,” he whispers to her, and she nods.
Her body visibly relaxes at his words and she carefully slides off his lap. Her carefulness has me wondering if her wounds are hurting her now that her anger and adrenaline aren’t driving her. She didn’t seem to be in pain downstairs, but again, her anger and adrenaline could have been hiding it.
Heading to my office, I hear her soft footsteps following behind me. I hold the door open and gesture to the sofa that’s in front of my desk.
“Have a seat, Lil’ Bit.”
I sit down at my desk opposite her as she takes her seat, tucking one leg under her.
“Timber was right, I just wanted to check in to see how you are handling everything that happened downstairs.”
She exhales slightly and nods. “I did have a little breakdown after I’d freshened up. That I had come so close to being forced into that lifestyle.”
I pause, my body tensing as my anger grows at what they’d done to her again. As well as how close we all came to losing Mae.
“As for the other stuff that I did and said, I don’t regret any of it.
Honestly, I wanted to hurt them even more for what they’d done to me.
For what they’d done to Frida. For what they’ve done and are doing to all those women and children.
I want them to pay for all of that and I want to free those women and children. ”
I smirk as I stare at her. Definitely called it. “Knew you were cut from the same cloth as Levi.” Shaking my head, my mind goes back to earlier this morning and worry once again swirls in my gut. “Everything okay between you and Timber?”
She pales slightly as she visibly swallows hard and nods as determination fills her features again.
“I think so. I told him I can’t be the one to always fight for him.
He has to fight for me, too. Which means not letting other women touch him like Candi and Star were and not flirting with them.
He told me he thought they were just talking and didn’t realize they were flirting with him or that they were rubbing it in my face.
Honestly, I’d love to bitch slap them both, but it wouldn’t do any good. ”
Not being able to help it, a booming laugh comes out of me and Mae jumps slightly, but I can’t help the grin on my face as my laughter dies away.
“Fuck, I love when you get so riled up that you actually curse instead of your usual way of cursing.” Shaking my head, I realize by her expression that she didn’t even realize she cursed, which just makes it even better.
But then I feel myself sobering as I remember the other reason why I asked her to come to my office.
Opening my mouth, I go to say something, but I can’t. Turning to look at my shelf, I eye the extra black and blue journals I have stacked there in case I need more or if any of the others need them. Gnawing on my bottom lip, I look down at my hands.
“I’m not sure how to ask this, so I’m just going to say it. I was wondering if we could talk some while we burn our black journal pages? I’m a little ashamed that I haven’t gotten to know you much this past week.”
Glancing up, I feel some of the tension in my shoulders lessening when I find her grinning at me. She stands and walks around the desk before wrapping her arms around me in a hug.
On instinct, my body tenses. That’s one of the many things that I’ve been struggling with as of late.
Ever since the kidnapping, I haven’t been able to stand anyone touching me.
I even have problems sometimes with Lark when she hugs me or touches my arm.
Forcing myself to relax, I wrap my arms around her, returning her hug.
She pulls back and giggles, probably at my surprise that she wanted to touch me.
“I’ll go get my journal and meet you out by the firepits. Okay?”
Still slightly stunned, I nod before I once again mask my emotions and clear my throat. I have a feeling I’m probably going to regret this a bit, but I wasn’t lying in that I wanted to get to know Mae better.
“Sounds good, Lil’ Bit.”
She leans up and kisses my cheek, right on my fucking scar. Not being able to help it, I feel all of my muscles go taut again, but Mae ignores my reaction, smiling brightly at me.
“I want to get to know you better, too, Uncle Reaper. See you in a few!” she says with another smile before spinning on her heel and heading out into the main room.
Fuck.
I think I was right in that I’m going to regret part of what’s going to happen next, because I have a feeling Mae is going to put me through the wringer by wanting to know more about my past.
Shit, I’m going to have to tell her about Julia and Chris, no doubt.
That and I’m sure she’s going to ask about how I’m doing after the kidnaping.
Scrubbing my hands over my face, I lean back into my chair, exhaling heavily.
My gaze goes down to the locked drawer that I keep my journals in, and something twists in my gut as I think back to everything Mae’s gone through.
Once again, I’m amazed at how someone can overcome what they’ve been dealt life, and in Mae’s instance, much like Levi’s, it includes torture that has left visible scars.
Then again, maybe some of it’s for show... Maybe they aren’t as held together as they’d like to appear…
Or maybe that’s just me projecting. But if it’s true and they are dealing with it better than me, that has me fucking jealous and pissed at the fact that I’m still fucked in the head. I’m going out of my God damn mind with everything I’m struggling with.
Shaking my head, my mind goes back to Mae.
Lately, I’ve noticed that something is different about her, and I’m not talking about the torture she’s endured.
Thor told me that when he first met Mae, she was shy, timid, and jumpy.
And I don’t fucking blame her in the least after learning her history.
To be honest, I think it’s Timber’s strength that’s causing Mae to come out of her shell.
That and having a new found family that she can lean on when she needs to.
I just hope that she was telling me the truth earlier. That she really is okay with getting her hands bloody.
Then again, maybe Timber’s right.
Before, she seemed like she was a ray of pure sunshine, but even with all that sunshine, she still has a bit of darkness in her.
Or she found it.
Either way, it’s something she’ll need to live the life of an Old Lady.
Leaning down, I unlock my desk and dig out my black journal. The damn thing is more than half-way full right now. Something I’m immensely ashamed of because I’ve been struggling with a lot of things ever since the kidnapping.
At first, things were very dark. Thoughts of what I wanted to do to Fang, Travis, and Sean filled my head constantly and had me on edge.
I kept thinking that we or the feds missed some of the Black Plague members and they’d come after us.
I had wanted them to pay so badly for what they did to Levi and me, but mostly for Levi.
After we’d taken care of them, the only things that kept my mind off still wanting to torture them, even after their death, was talking to Lark and when my stitches and wounds had healed enough, practicing knife throwing with Levi, Sasha, and Alexei.
When I was finally given the okay to travel, I’d headed straight to Lark’s.
I needed to put my eyes on her, even though I was hesitant about how she’d react to seeing me in person.
Part of the reason why I had to stay in the hospital longer was because the large cut on my face, a couple cuts on my neck and three cuts on my chest had become infected.
The doctor and nurses had to reopen the wounds, flush out the infections and restitch them closed.
As a result, they scarred worse than what they would have if they hadn’t gotten infected.
Out of all of them, the one on my face, of course, scarred the worst.
However, I shouldn’t have been worried. She didn’t look at me any differently, much like I don’t look at her scars any differently.
It was also good to see how everything had turned out after their grand reopening of the Great Bear Supper Club and Tavern since I’d unfortunately missed them by being in Forest Creek.
They didn’t change much with the supper club, but the tavern.
.. I think the tavern was a brilliant idea and will bring in a lot of customers for them.
In reality, it’s more like a bar than a tavern.
It’s not grungy like a dive bar dump but it’s also not as classy as one that requires a certain dress code.
Honestly, I foresee me and the club spending a lot of time in the tavern.
They even have a stage area and a small dance floor where they’ll have live bands or a DJ on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday nights.
They’ve also made good progress on their house as well. The outside is completely finished, and the inside is mostly finished. Slowly but surely, Lark is putting the Thompson stamp on their house, just like she wanted to.