Chapter 23
Reaper
For a while, we don’t say anything as we tear the first few pages up into little balls and toss them into the fire.
Clearing my throat, I half dread asking this question, but I need to know. “If you know about the journals, I’m going to guess that Half-pint told you her story?”
After a moment, Mae gives a little nod. “Yesterday she told me, and Sasha gave me the journals and pens.” She pauses, swallowing thickly as a myriad of emotions flit across her face.
“I’m sorry that you both went through that.
For what they did to both of you. They didn’t tell me everything that was done to you.
Just that your scars are worse than Levi’s. ”
A tear slips down her cheek, and she quickly wipes it away. Scooting over, I pat the seat beside me. She gets up and sits down next to me on the same bench.
Mae leans against my shoulder, and on instinct, my muscles tense. I force myself to breathe slowly and will my muscles to relax. It takes a few moments, but eventually, my body finally responds and relaxes.
“For the record, Reaper, I don’t see you any differently because of your scars. In fact, they make me feel safer with you.”
I scoff as I shake my head. Memories of the grocery store once again bombard me and I angrily ball up a piece of paper, throwing it into the fire with my left hand to not disturb Mae who is still leaning her head against my right shoulder.
“Safer? How? People have always given me a wide berth before, but now it’s even worse. I mean, they take one look at me and run the other way.”
She shifts and stares up at me in disbelief before her face morphs in anger. She hastily stands up in front of me, apparently forcing herself to ignore the twinge of pain that I saw briefly contorting her face before she puts her fists on her hips as she stares down at me.
“Then fuck them all! You don’t need people like that in your life. To me, I know I’m safe with you. And not just because you’re a badass biker who’s a mountain of a man with arms that look like if you squeezed someone’s neck, you could pop their head off.”
I huff as I roll my eyes and try to keep the smile off my face at the mental image she just painted.
“Your scars tell me you’re the toughest and most dangerous person in the room. You know why?”
Warily, I eye her and the nervous pit in my stomach grows. “Why?”
“Because they tell people that you will go to any length to protect those you care about. Even if that means you’re hurt in the process.”
She steps forward and cups my cheeks in her hands. I flinch as her thumb caresses my scar, but if she notices it, she doesn’t mention it.
“If those people don’t take the time to look past your skin, then they aren’t worth knowing.
They’re judging a book by its cover when, in fact, there’s an amazing story hidden in those pages.
You are Reaper, the President of the Junction Creek Steel Archangel’s MC.
You are Tony Leyton, an amazing man who deserves to be loved, just as he is. ”
In shock, I stare at her, not able to get anything out past the lump in my throat.
She gives me a small smile before leaning down and kissing my cheek again, right over my scar before retaking her seat next to me. Once again, she rests her head on my shoulder and continues to rip up her pages, balling them up and throwing them into the fire.
For a few minutes, it’s like I can hardly breathe.
Is that how she really sees me?
Does she really mean that?
Shaking myself internally, I realize I already know the answer to that. Mae doesn’t say stuff she doesn’t mean. Even in the little time I’ve been around her, I know that’s a fact.
Gripping the pages I’d ripped out earlier tightly, I feel as if everything’s been blown wide open and I’m struggling to piece things back together.
However, one thing remains clear.
I will get my head on straight and at the same time, try to mend the bridge I’ve caused with Lark.
Making a decision, I rip all the pages up into smaller pieces, letting them rest in my lap. Lifting my arm, I put it over Mae’s shoulders and carefully pull her closer. With my left hand, I pick up a piece of paper, ball it up and toss it into the fire.
For a few hours, we chat more and get to know each other better. As I’d previously thought, Julia, my sister, eventually comes up.
“My nephew, Chris, was visiting me two years ago. He was fifteen at the time and looking forward to getting a car. I had a bike all lined up for him, too.”
Her body tenses against mine, but she doesn’t say anything, so I continue.
“He loves cars and bikes and wanted to go to the garage to work with the guys. I got him all suited up, and he rode behind me on my bike. We’ve ridden together hundreds of times before.
He knows he always had to wear his gear, and he knew what not to do and what to do. Julia’s ridden with us a lot, too.
“On the way, someone clipped me, and we went down. Hard. As soon as I looked up from where I landed, I knew it wasn’t good.”
I pause, taking a few deep breaths as the memories wash over me.
“Chris ended up being paralyzed from the waist down. Julia blames me for hurting him and won’t let me see him anymore.
After the first few times that Chris and I talked in public and her reaming me out afterward, I stopped talking to him publicly.
We text, but we can’t do more than that anymore.
I know he doesn’t blame me, but it kills me that she’s cut my nephew out of my life because of someone else’s actions.
Especially with him being right under my nose and not being able to spend time with him.
She takes my money since I’ve been helping them for years even before the accident, but yeah. Can’t see him anymore.”
She loops her arms around me, squeezing my waist. She doesn’t say anything, but she doesn’t need to.
We sit there like that for a while when I hear the back door open and close. After a few moments, Timber walks up, hands me a beer and Mae a water before sitting down on the bench Mae had originally sat on.
Not too long after that, others wander out and soon, all the fire pits are lit and everyone’s relaxing together in the cool fall air.
I squeeze Mae tight into me, but not too tight that I hurt her. “Thanks, Lil’ Bit.”
She looks up at me, confused. “For what?”
Grinning, I squeeze her shoulder again. “For kicking me in the ass earlier, for letting me get to know you better, and for listening to me.”
She returns my grin. “Anytime, big guy. But if your sister ever reams you out in front of me, I’m warning you ahead of time that I’ll be throwing down. What she’s doing is wrong. She probably knows it too but needs someone to blame. I’m sorry that you’re the one she’s blaming.”
Leaning down, I kiss her forehead and then release my grip on her shoulders. Almost instantly, Timber picks Mae up and sits her down on his lap. She giggles, but she doesn’t say anything.
Two hours later, she yawns and when I look over at her, I can tell she’s beat. Timber laughs quietly, and she playfully swats his chest.
“Oh, shush you. You know I’m still taking those pills Doc gave me, and they make me sleepy.”
“Well then, how about we head out? We still need to pack for tomorrow, too,” he asks her and she nods.
I tell her goodnight but stay seated. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Devil stop Mae. I’d known he snuck out here earlier, but thankfully, he didn’t intervene.
Devil’s been one of my best friends for as long as I can remember. Punisher too. We were always running around together as kids, however, Devil changed in high school and the few months after graduation. He had a fling with one of our friends, Becky, and then a few months later, poof, she was gone.
A lot of shit came out after that about her dad, and Devil hasn’t been the same since.
I know he harbors guilt about everything that went down.
That he thinks she was sent away because of him.
While the Kilgore’s aren’t billionaire level, they are upper white crest, and a certain image was expected of Becky.
I’m guessing her hooking up with a guy who was a Prospect for an MC was not part of that image.
Ever since her sudden disappearance, Devil’s been protective of those in his inner circle and the club.
I have a feeling I’ll be on the receiving end of his mother hen personality at some point in the near future.
An hour later, I swallow the last dregs of my beer and am about to stand up when I feel someone run their fingers across my shoulders.
“Don’t touch me,” I grit out, my muscles coiled tight as Star comes round the bench, looking down at me seductively. She pouts when she sees my face, but I’m not falling for it.
“Oh, come on, Reaper. You look so serious. Why don’t you let me take some of that pressure off your shoulders.”
She bends down, her hands reaching for my belt, but I grab her wrists before she can make contact and shove her away from me.
Standing, I scowl down at her and her face pales before she recovers and bats her eyes at me.
My lip curls in disgust. The only woman I want to touch me like that is Lark, but I’ve got to fix things between us before that will ever happen.
“For the last fucking time, I don’t want you, Candi, or Brandy to ever fucking touch me again. If I wanted to fuck you or have you suck my cock, I would have said so, but I didn’t. Now stay the fuck away from me.”
Turning, I storm across the yard, chuck my bottle in the recycling bin and turn toward my house. No one stops me, though I do get a few concerned looks, as I make my way home.
Once inside, I damn near slam the door shut.
Igor looks up from his doggy bed in the living room, cocking his head to the side as he watches me.
Striding over to the fridge and I pull out another beer.
Twisting off the cap, I take a long pull as I head into the living room and sit down in my favorite recliner.
Igor gets up from his doggy bed and he walks over to the side of the recliner.
He’s never clawed at my furniture to get me to pick him up.
He also never jumps up on my furniture either.
He just always comes up close and either gives you puppy dog eyes or jumps up to put his front paws on your legs, silently asking to be picked up.
Reaching over the arm, I pick him up and settle him on my lap. As I take another drink, he looks up at me and I sigh as I try and sift through my thoughts.
A part of me wants to head over to Lark’s tomorrow to talk to her, but with how I’ve distanced myself, I’m not sure how she’d take it. I dig out my phone, but before I even wake up the screen, I toss it on the end table next to me. I do not want to fix this over the phone.
This needs to be done in person.
Igor whines as if he can sense my internal dilemma and I scritch his ears as I take another drink and chastise myself for my past actions.
Meeting Mae and seeing her working to overcome her past, not to mention her current injuries and the shit show Timber had just put her through this morning, made me realize I’d been a damn fucking fool.
There’s a way to have happiness while in the clutches of darkness.
Mae’s and Timber’s love is proof of that.
Why the fuck did I ever think pushing Lark away would help?
With that thought, I start planning what I need to do.
But first, I need to make a phone call.
It takes a few rings, but finally my cousin picks up.
“Tony?”
“Kenzie… Kenzie, I need your help.”
She inhales sharply and I can almost see her nodding her head in determination from here. I’ve always said I’d never see a shrink, but desperate times call for desperate measures.
“Anytime, T. My door is always open and you know I’ll always answer when you call. Or text you right back if I’m with a client.”
I exhale heavily as I feel the muscles in my shoulders loosen slightly.
I hate that I feel like I need help, but if anyone would understand, I know it would be Kenzie. And I also know she’d never repeat anything we discussed.