Chapter 42
Lark
This past week has been a whirlwind. I’ve talked frequently with Levi about my new duties, and those talks have also helped calm my nerves.
Unfortunately, it didn’t stop me from worrying about future scenarios I’ll have to deal with.
I’m afraid that I’ll do something I shouldn’t, or that I don’t handle the situation correctly.
However, Levi was there through all those little panic attacks and helped ease my worries.
She also told me about her journals, and I’ve started using them myself.
I never knew that the journals I would sometimes see Reaper writing in where the ones she told him about after they were kidnapped over the summer.
I wish I had known about these last year after the fire, but at least now I can work on getting the rest of my demons tied to the fire sorted out in my mind.
Right now, I’m writing in my black journal, trying to put some of my frustrations on paper with my fucking stalker when Mama Astrid walks over to the table I’m sitting at in the main room. I frown when I see the worried look on her face and close my journal.
“What’s wrong?”
“Do you remember us telling you about Mary?”
I nod, my frown deepening. “Yeah, she’s Patch’s girlfriend that was kidnapped and sold when she was eighteen. He recently got her and her kids away from the asshole that had been abusing her. Wait. Is she okay?” I urgently ask, sitting up straighter in my chair.
Mama Astrid makes a wishy washy face. “Sort of. She’s got a doctor’s appointment coming up and she’s having panic attacks about going out. She still has nightmares from the bomb that happened on the way back to the clubhouse from her dad’s house.”
Fuck, I would be too if I were in her shoes.
Mama Astrid sighs again as she runs a hand through her hair. “Mae just told me that the nightmares and panic attacks are getting worse. The poor girl. She’s had so much go wrong in her life. I can’t wait until they get those assholes that hurt her.”
I nod in agreement having heard some of what she’s gone through.
“Reaper told me they’re planning to head down there this Friday to help with things…
But Mary knows Stephan the best,” I mumble as I think over the possibilities.
One comes to me and for a moment I consider not saying it, but that’s just me being selfish.
I would never be able to live with myself if something happened because of my selfishness.
“Just a sec,” I tell her as I scan the room. Spotting Reaper at the bar talking to Devil and Odin, I turn back to Mama Astrid. “Be right back.”
Getting up, I cross the room and put my hand on the small of Reaper’s back.
“Hey, Darlin’,” he says as he turns around and he frowns when he takes in my worried expression. “What’s wrong?”
“Can we talk to you guys for a moment?” I ask as I gesture over my shoulder toward the table I was sitting at.
They all nod and follow me back, sitting down with us.
“I think you guys should head to Forest Creek early,” I tell them and then with Mama Astrid’s help, we explain Mary’s concerns.
“Mary knows those assholes better than the club does. If she’s worried that they’ll do something, then that probably means they’ll make a move tomorrow.
I think you guys should head down today in case something happens.
That way if it does, you guys are already there as backup and extra manpower.
I know you guys had wanted to wait and head down this Friday, but what if some of you went down now?
Then this weekend, the guys could rotate so that whoever goes isn’t gone for two weeks straight. ”
The guys nod as they think it over. Then they seem to have a silent conversation between themselves.
Reaper turns and gives me a proud look. “I think you’re right, Darlin’.
” Then he scowls. “I hate that she’s been through all that, but you’re right, she knows them better than we do.
” He pauses again as he looks over at Devil.
“I think we should call Church. See who can step away this week. I’d like to keep one or two of us there for both weeks if we can swing it.
It’s not much but having two extra men while we’re doing the tradeoff might make a difference if that’s when they make a move. ”
Devil gives him a chin lift as he pulls out his phone. He taps out a quick message and a few moments later, I hear multiple dings from everyone’s phone alerting them to the text message.
Reaper turns to me and pins me with a look. “What’s your week like, Darlin’?”
My stomach churns. We still haven’t been able to trace any of the calls I’ve gotten from my stalker.
After I snapped at the guy last week, I’ve let all unknown numbers calling my cell phone go to voicemail.
However, now that I’ve done that, he’s started calling at work, too.
Those I can’t not answer since it very well could be a vendor or someone calling to see if someone is at the tavern.
“I work Tuesday and Wednesday at the supper club from noon to closing. Then Thursday through Sunday, I’m at the tavern. It’s my weekend to work till closing so it’s from six to closing.”
My three new bartenders are doing better, but they still need more training so between me and my two seasoned bartenders, Erica, and Sam, I’ve paired the newbies, Rosalie, Cora, and Michael with each of us.
In about a month or so I think they’ll be ready to be paired up and not have someone senior with them all the time.
Reaper exhales, clearly not happy with my schedule, but he nods. “Okay. I still want one of the guys with you when you leave here and when you leave work. I’m not taking any chances with this stalker and whoever’s setting off these fires running around.
My shoulders sag.
That’s another thing that started last week.
Small fires have been popping up and they’ve all happened after I snapped at my stalker.
My overactive mind keeps picturing my stalker and this arsonist being the same person.
In a way I want him to be the same person so that when he’s caught, then the fires stop, too.
Between the stalker and these fires, I’ve been having nightmares about the fire at my house last year and the firefighter who rescued me.
I still haven’t asked who he is, though I think I might know.
I was going to ask Reaper about it before he left later this week, but if I’m really going to do this, then I need to talk to him before he leaves today.
“Lark?”
I blink, clearing my thoughts and I realize the others left, leaving just Reaper and me.
“What’s wrong, Darlin’?”
I swallow thickly. Fuck, this might make things worse, but…“I need to know.”
“Know what?”
“His name. Who he is.”
I run my fingers over the burns on my face and Reaper nods, knowing who I’m talking about. His face softens as he reaches over and takes my hands in his.
“Do you want me to tell you or do you want to meet him?”
I gnaw on my lip as I debate. “I… I think I want to meet him, but I want to do it when you’re here. Maybe after you come back from Forest Creek?”
He gives me a look that tells me he knows I’m stalling. “Lark, Darlin’, I can get him here in the next twenty minutes. And honestly? With all these fires popping up around town, I think I’d rather you know before I leave.”
I want to ask him why he’d rather I know who he is before I leave, but I don’t. My throat tightens as memories bombard me, and I nod. “Okay. Today.”
Reaper pulls out his phone and my heart beats wildly in my chest as I watch him type out a text.
He gets up and pulls me up from my chair.
He motions to Drake at the bar and then leads me to the couches before he pulls me down to sit in his lap.
And of course, it’s the couch that faces the main door.
Drake comes over with two bottles of beer, and fuck am I grateful for it because I could definitely use a drink right now.
“Talk to me, Darlin’.”
I take another drink and then play with the label on the bottle, so I don’t have to look at him.
“I… I’ve always been afraid to find out who he is because he lost his job because of me. His hearing has never fully returned, so he can’t be a firefighter anymore. I’m worried he’s going to hate me. That he’ll blame me for losing his hearing and losing his job.”
Reaper’s arm tightens around me. “Darlin’, I know you’re not going to believe me until you talk to him, but I can guarantee you that he does not blame you and he does not hate you.
In fact, he’s worried that you hate him because he failed to get you out and that by him getting knocked out meant that you got hurt. ”
My head whips toward him and I stare at him in shock. He can’t possibly think that… Can he?
Reaper nods. “It’s true, Darlin’. He’s stayed away because he thinks seeing him or hearing his voice might cause the memories to haunt you even more.
He hasn’t gone back to the supper club or even the tavern.
Hell, I’ve seen him come down the aisle of the grocery store and when he noticed you, he turned and headed down another aisle.
He hates himself because you were hurt because of him. ”
I gape at him, not sure what to say. Reaper pulls me into him and I rest my head on his shoulder, my mind whirling with what he just said.
Twenty minutes later, the door opens, but I don’t look right away. Reaper tenses and I know he’s here.
Closing my eyes, I inhale and exhale slowly as I try to tame my racing heart. I repeat the process a few times and finally open my eyes.
My vision swims immediately with unshed tears. I had worried the firefighter that rescued me was Erik, Mama Astrid and Odin’s son, and I was right.
Setting my beer down, I get up off Reaper’s lap, step forward and hug Erik.
“Thank you,” I croak out as tears stream down my face.
Hesitantly, he hugs me back and it takes me a bit before I realize he’s apologizing to me.