Chapter Twelve, Are You A Cunt, Reaper? #2
I remembered how I hadn’t avenged the cunt who’d stolen Missy from me… it was a spiral. A thought spiral of the worst kind.
Atlas grabbed his fork, careful not to drop me, nor asking me to move out of his way. “It’s not just Giorgio. There was a hit nearby recently—some politician. The way it was done… it reminded me of someone I used to know, and I’m cautious about them figuring out I’m still alive.”
“Who?” I asked, twirling my fork in the pasta, intrigued by the shift in his tone. “One of your ninja friends?”
He hesitated, his jaw tightening. “No one important. Just… someone I thought was gone.” He wiped a tattooed hand over his face.
I knew better than to push. Atlas had a lot of history he didn’t like talking about, and I respected that.
But his unease was contagious. If he was worried, that meant something bad was on the horizon.
Plus, he was talking about a girl, and I was curious to hear more about any bad bitches he knew other than his sister.
“Is she more dangerous than you?” I wondered.
“Yes.” He didn’t lie, and I loved that. He wasn’t plagued by toxic masculinity, where he had to pretend that a woman was his lesser.
“Danika was just like me, only she never got out. She’s spent more years with The Company, and her soul would be further gone than mine.
I honestly don’t know who would win in a fight between us anymore.
” He speared a bit of pasta on his fork.
“Plus, I was more of a hacker in the end because that’s where I excelled.
She was an assassin just like Silver, only worse. Danika thrived in death.”
“Sounds like she’s hot.” I swallowed a few mouthfuls of food, trying not to let my anxiety be deflected again with too much shitty humor. “Is she crazy?”
I felt bad for Danika, and all the other people like her and Atlas. They’d had their souls stripped away as children and been turned into assassins for an organization that saw them as assets and nothing more.
I wasn’t surprised Atlas was a bit of a funky dude. I would have been unhinged if I’d killed half the number of people he and those like him had.
“She’s probably as sane as I am, malyshka.” He patted my arm, and filled me with absolutely no confidence. “Enough of the doom and gloom. We’ll deal with whatever’s coming when it gets here. For now, let’s eat.”
I nodded, trying to push aside the lingering anxiety. Atlas and Gio could handle whatever was coming. I had no doubt about that. But something told me the peace we’d found here in the cabin wouldn’t last forever.
Still, with them by my side, I felt safe. At least for long enough to get me through my dinner, and then sprawl on the couch when I was done.
I was completely full and trying not to think about the ball of tension in my chest. As much as I loved the cabin, today the summer heat had left the air thick, making even the simplest of movements exhausting.
I swore I could almost hear the humidity in the room, like the cabin itself was slowly suffocating under the weight of it.
Or maybe that was just my dramatic streak kicking in.
I groaned inwardly as I stretched my legs out and shifted a little, trying to get comfortable despite the growing discomfort in my lower abdomen. How much blood could a girl lose in one day? Surely there had to be a limit before I just withered away, right?
“So, this is it,” I muttered to myself, pressing a hand to my stomach.
“This is how it ends. What a way to go. No epic last stand, no heroic sacrifice. Just me, defeated by biology.” I sighed.
“Men deserve this more than I ever did. Why couldn’t they suffer?
” I pointed at my men. “Suffer for me. I need it.”
Atlas didn’t suffer, but he got up to bring me some chocolate and a hot water bottle before he went outside to check the perimeter again and walk Mali, so I let him live.
Gio, on the other hand, I had no choice but to kick.
Only in the shin. Just a little. But it was his fault for sitting by me and doing nothing but pick up his crossword to spell fancy words again. As though that was fun. Gross.
“Were you spanked as a child or spoiled?” He turned to face me, dropping the book on the coffee table.
“Spoiled.” I carried on before he could make his point. “Why? Are you implying I needed beating when I was a baby?”
“Heather.”
Cutting him off, I kept going. “Hitting children is abuse, even if you wanna pretend it’s teaching them a lesson. It just makes you a cunt. Are you a cunt, Reaper? Would you hit a kid because it spilled some juice or didn’t want to go to bed? If you would, then you’re disgusting.”
“Giovanni.” He wrapped his long fingers around my thigh, squeezing hard enough to make me shiver.
“And no. I would never be a horrid human and hit a child. I was just wondering how you came to be you. I figured your humor was a self-defense mechanism, or it was because your daddy never told you no.”
Speaking about my parents made my heart ache. My stomach grew sicker, my palms sweated, and all the grief and trauma I’d never got over came rushing to the surface.
Which was exactly why I did what Gio accused me of, and once again used my humor as a defense and distraction.
“My new daddy would never tell me no. He gets off on me being subservient.” I grinned viciously as I heard Atlas laugh through the open front door, clearly having heard me.
“But my old one did all the time. He was really good at his parent job before the whole bleeding out and traumatizing me thing. He used to give me time-outs when I picked on Rowan or stole some candy before dinner when my mom explicitly told me no.”
Gio’s dark eyes rolled. “I love you.” He said simply, and all the bad feelings in my chest seemed to float away for a moment from the simple knowledge that I was loved.
Someone in the universe still cared about me. Wanted me. Loved me… that was all I needed to survive.
“I love me too.” I muttered under my breath, shifting again as another wave of discomfort hit me. “Sometimes I love you a tiny bit. Like a speck.”
He leaned over me, his fingers brushing a lock of my hair away from my face. “You know, if you asked nicely, I might be able to massage those cramps away.”
I shot him a look, arching an eyebrow. “What, with your magic hands? Or were you planning to smooth-talk my uterus into submission?”
Gio grinned. “I do have a way with words.” He whispered something in Italian. I had no idea what, but it sounded hot, and I had no choice but to pretend to be unbothered, so he wouldn’t realize I secretly liked him.
“Not with my womb, you don’t. It thinks you are a loser boy.” I snorted as I twisted and leaned against him, hoping he would use those hands on me in the best sorts of ways.
“Want me to fuck a baby into you so you don’t get another period for a while?” He patted my hair as I vehemently shook my head.
I scoffed. “I think I’d rather have a goldfish—one of those bug-eyed ones.”
“I can buy you a bowl in the morning.”
“Goldfish don’t live in bowls, silly; they have to have massive tanks. With filters, heaters, and all sorts of fancy equipment.” My head shook, and I clutched the hot water bottle to my stomach tighter. “They’re living creatures, Reaper. Have some respect for their tiny fishy bodies and lives.”
“Giovanni.” He corrected me, but was cut off by the chuckling from the porch.
Atlas stepped inside, his tall frame filling the doorway. His blond hair was a little damp, likely from the small spattering of rain, and his sharp blue eyes softened the second he laid them on me.
“There’s my girl,” he murmured, crossing the room in a few quick strides like he hadn’t been gone for less than five minutes. He leaned down to press a soft kiss to my forehead, his hand finding its usual place at the small of my back. “You holding up okay, malyshka?”
I sighed dramatically, leaning into his touch. “Barely. I’m on the brink of death, but don’t worry about me.”
He chuckled, clearly not buying my theatrics for a second. “You’re tougher than that.”
“Debatable,” I muttered, though I couldn’t help but smile as he slid onto the couch on the other side of me, pulling me close. The scent of soap and the fresh air clung to him, and I felt my body relax just a little more as his warmth seeped into me.
“Did the chocolate help at least?” he asked, his voice softer now as he stroked my arm.
“Definitely. But I kind of want more. Can we do a snack run in the morning? I know you don’t like taking me outside for safety reasons. But I’m going crazy, and if I have to look at the same walls again, I’m going to kill someone.”
“Of course we can. If you need a break for your mental health, then I can make it safe for you.” With his free hand, he grabbed the remote, turning the TV on. “Let’s see if SpongeBob can take away some of your pain.”
I smiled, finally relaxing in his and Gio’s arms as the tension in my body slowly started to ease. I felt safe with them. Safe in this cabin, despite everything. Despite the fact that we were all living on borrowed time.
Atlas rubbed slow circles on my arm; Gio did the same to my stomach. And for a handful of hours, I could forget that we were one wrong moment away from losing everything entirely.
That somewhere, out in the cruel, dark world, Giorgio De Luca was plotting our demise, and we had only just touched the tip of the iceberg in trying to stop him.