Chapter 15 Lexi
The sizzle of the onions in the pan is barely audible over the chatter of the prospects lounging around the clubhouse’s kitchen like it’s their own. I’m seasoning the chicken when the clubhouse door slams open with a force that rattles the windows. Every conversation stops as Reaper strides in. He’s just as angry as when he left earlier, maybe even madder than before.
“Out,” he growls at the prospects, his voice low and dangerous.
It’s not a request; it’s an order. They grumble, shooting hungry glances at the half-cooked meal, but they know better than to argue. They shuffle out, leaving me alone with Reaper.
“Are you just going to bang doors all day, or are you going to talk to me like an adult?” Despite my bluster, my heart beats erratically as I wipe my hands on a dish towel. Turning to face him fully, I steel my spine. It’s time to put an end to his passive-aggressive crap.
“I know about Ace, my son.” Reaper’s eyes lock onto mine while the floor drops out from underneath me.
“Wh-what?” I stammer, shocked. “How did you find out?”
“Matrix and Daisy have connections at the FBI crime lab.”
“How’s that possible?”
“Daisy was an undercover agent sent to infiltrate the club. Matrix infiltrated her instead.” Reaper smirks before resuming his scowl.
“Wow. She must have a set of balls on her. I’d like to meet her sometime.”
“Why didn’t you tell me about my son?”
I swallow hard, my mouth suddenly dry. The memory of that night flashes before me—the blood, the fear, the desperation. What choice did I have? I had to run to protect my baby.
“Was it because you saw me kill someone?” Reaper asks, interrupting my thoughts.
“Y-yes,” I admit, avoiding his eyes. “I mean, no, I didn’t see you kill anyone directly, but … that night, Valentine’s Day, I saw you carrying a dead body out of the basement.” I tremble as I remember the bloody mess of a man in his arms, looking like he’d been mauled.
“You saw that?” Reaper chuckles darkly. There’s something unnerving about the amusement in his tone.
“Yes,” I confirm, meeting his gaze now. “The night I left, I saw too much.”
His laughter is gone as quickly as it appeared, replaced by a cold seriousness that chills the air between us.
“You have no idea what you saw,” he starts, voice gravelly with a truth he seems reluctant to share. “I’m the enforcer for the club. It’s my job to get my hands dirty. Killing is only part of it, but it’s a necessary evil.”
“Why did you have to kill that guy? You murdered him, right?”
“Murder’s such a loaded word. Is it really murder if the guy deserved it?”
“Did he?”
“Yes. I’d slice him up again if I had the chance. The guy, Vince, was a fucking monster. A child rapist who used his money and his slick lawyers to slip through every crack in the system.” He spits out the words, venomous and filled with contempt.
“Is that why you killed him?”
“Someone had to bring him to justice,” he says simply. “When the pigs fail to put scum like him away, we step in. We do what’s necessary. What’s right.”
His words send chills down my spine. I knew he was capable of violence, but hearing him talk about it so openly is terrifying. And yet, there’s a part of me that understands his motivations. If someone like Vince continued to walk free, who could blame Reaper for taking matters into his own hands? I hate to admit it, but I get why he feels the need to step in when the police can’t do anything to stop a predator.
“That’s why there are always women, kids, and some men staying at Nina’s, right?” I ask, putting the pieces of the puzzle together for the first time.
He nods. “She helps us protect the victims until we can get them to safety.”
“Have you … have there been others? More guys like Vince?” The question burns across my tongue as fear and curiosity war within me. How many people has Reaper killed?
“The less you know about that, the better.” His eyes are cold, unyielding, as if he’s locking away parts of himself he can’t afford to reveal. “Just understand this—I’m a killer, Lexi. And killers don’t make good fathers.”
A lump forms in my throat, but I force the words out. “Ace is your son, Reaper. When I saw you that night, with all that blood on your hands … I was terrified. I didn’t know what kind of man you really were, so I ran.”
“Did you know you were pregnant when you left?” he asks, his voice tight with restrained emotion.
I nod, feeling tears gather in the corners of my eyes. “I took a pregnancy test that morning. I was going to tell you that night.”
Silence falls between us as we both struggle to process everything we’ve revealed to each other. The room feels like it’s closing in on us, and for a moment, I can’t breathe. My heart aches for Reaper and the life he’s chosen to live, but I can’t let him push me away. Not now, not when we have a son together.
“Reaper,” I say, my voice barely a whisper. “I get that you think you’re too fucked up to be a father, but that’s not true. Nobody’s perfect. We’re all screwed up in one way or another. Dealing out vigilante justice doesn’t make you a bad father. If anything, that proves you’d be a great dad. You’re just trying to protect innocent people from predators. I wish you’d told me the truth back then.”
“We were just fucking. You weren’t my old lady.”
“Just fucking?” My heart sinks. Is that all I was? Is that still all I am to him?
“Lexi, it’s not just the killing part that fucks up my ability to be a father. There’s other shit, too. Stuff you don’t know. Stuff about Blackstone.”
My stomach clenches at the mention of Blackstone. I’ve heard whispers about him around the clubhouse, but nothing concrete. It’s clear that Reaper has a connection to him, though I’m not sure what it is.
“Did you know that Blackstone adopted me when I was ten?” Reaper asks.
“I didn’t know he was your dad.” I shake my head in disbelief.
“Most parents don’t rape their kids. He’s not my father.”
The words hit me like a punch to the gut, and I feel nauseous. I want to reach out and comfort him, tell him that none of this changes how I feel about him or our son. But the look in his eyes tells me that he’s not ready for that—not yet.
Reaper’s confession hangs heavy in the silence. My heart aches for him, and I don’t know what to say—how do you respond to something like that? I don’t want to push him away, but at the same time, I feel like we need to have this conversation.
“Reaper, I …” My voice falters, unsure of where to start. “I had no idea about your past. We never talked about it when we were together before.”
He shakes his head, looking down at the floor. “There’s a reason I never told you about Blackstone. I don’t like to talk about what happened with him.”
“I understand that,” I say, trying to find the right words. “But like it or not, we have a son together now. Unless you want to completely cut yourself out of our lives—”
“Never!”
“Okay,” I breathe a sigh of relief. “If that’s the case, then we need to get to know each other better. Can you tell me about what happened before Blackstone adopted you? What happened to your birth family?”
Reaper hesitates, running his fingers through his hair. He looks so vulnerable, the tough, tattooed biker facade crumbling away. And I realize that maybe, for the first time, he’s allowing himself to be truly seen.
“Before I was ten,” he begins, pain lacing his voice, “life wasn’t much better. My parents weren’t good people. Drugs, violence, sex trade stuff, porn—you name it, they were involved. I spent most of my childhood either hiding from them or trying to survive.”
“God, Reaper,” I whisper. “I’m so sorry.”
He takes a deep breath, steadying himself. “When I was nine, my mom tried to sell me to an undercover FBI agent. She went to prison, and I ended up in foster care.”
“What kind of mother does that?” I cover my mouth with my hand.
“Mine?” He shrugs. “Those foster homes weren’t exactly a refuge either. The abuse didn’t stop. People kept hurting me, and I just couldn’t escape it. I ran away so many times, but the pigs always brought me back.”
“That’s why you don’t trust cops.”
“That, and about a million other reasons. I never really felt safe anywhere, not until I found Nina. Before her, I couldn’t trust anyone.”
“How does she fit into this?” I ask, curious about her involvement.
“When we finally escaped Blackstone’s dungeon—”
“Dungeon?” My eyes widen.
“—we ended up hiding in Nina’s barn. She found us and eventually got us to trust her. She and Winchester, her old man, let us live with them. They were the first people I’d ever met who didn’t have darkness in their souls.”
“I wish I could have met Winchester, but what was that about a dungeon?”
“Wish you could have met him, too. He was good people.”
“Reaper,” I say gently, placing my hand on his arm, “you don’t have to tell me any more if you don’t want to. It sounds like you went through hell with Blackstone. What kind of psychopath has a dungeon?”
“Blackstone.”
I let out a shaky sigh. “I know this must be hard to talk about, but I want you to know that I’m here for you. I won’t judge you, and you can tell me anything. Or nothing. Or wait until later. If you need a break …”
“You judged me before when you saw me carrying Vince out like the trash he was.”
“Because I didn’t know any better. If you’d told me—”
“What? That I was a killer? How would that have gone over back then?” he asks wryly.
“Not well, I guess.”
“Look, I’m not perfect. Not even fucking close. I’ve done terrible things, but for the right reasons. Hopefully, you can understand that.”
“I do.”
“But would Ace get it?”
“He’s only six years old, way too young for this type of conversation.”
“For now, but when he gets older, what’s he going to think of me then?”
“We have years before we have to consider that.”
“It’s not just the killing that made me the way I am. Blackstone ruined what little humanity I had left in me. It’s gone, Lexi. There’s nothing left but rage, an obsession with vengeance. I don’t have a heart, so how can I …” His voice cracks as he pushes off the counter.
I want to hold him, to offer some kind of solace from the agony he’s reliving. But as I reach out to touch his arm, he flinches and pulls away. His shoulders hunch as he turns his back on me. “There’s more, Lexi. More you need to know about me and my story. Maybe you’ll get it after I tell you everything.”
“Come sit with me,” I say, softly grasping his upper arm with my hand. “Let’s go somewhere more private.”
“Yeah.”
As I lead him into his bedroom, I can’t stop thinking about the horrifying life he’s been forced to endure. First with his parents and then with Blackstone. Although I want to know everything there is to know about him, I’m scared. What if he tells me something I can’t handle? What if he has a good reason for not wanting to be a father to Ace?
Reaper could be hiding something far worse than murder. I can’t really think of what that might be, but then again, I never would have imagined that Reaper had spent time in a madman’s dungeon. Blackstone always seemed a little off to me, but imprisoning kids is beyond anything I’d ever thought possible. Thank God I got Ace out of there before anything happened to him.
After I close the bedroom door, Reaper sits on the edge of his bed. I pull off his boots and help him slip out of his jeans. I lay his cut on top of his dresser where he likes to keep it. He slides into bed, still wearing a simple black henley and gray boxers. I strip down to my panties and slip in beside him. Wrapping him in a tight embrace, I brush a soft kiss across his lips.
His black eyes study me intently.
“I don’t want you to look at me differently,” he whispers.
“That’ll never happen.”
“After this, it will.”
“Whatever you’re about to tell me, I promise it won’t change anything between us.”
“I don’t see how it won’t.” He sighs before running his calloused hand down my spine, leaving a trail of shivering gooseflesh in its wake. “But you have the right to know. Maybe after you hear about what Blackstone did, you’ll understand why I can’t be a father.”
As I rest my head against his chest, the thud of his heartbeat pounds against my ear. I’m still not sure I’m ready to listen to his terrifying story, but I must. Reaper’s full of demons. Anyone can see that just by looking into his black eyes. But just how evil are those demons? And more importantly, do I need to keep Ace safe by keeping him away from his own father?