26. Isabelle #3
"I've spent my entire adult life as the Grim Reaper," he continues. "As a killer, someone without connections or attachments or anything that could be used against me. I've been alone by choice because that's what kept me alive, and because I didn't want to lose anyone again.
"And then you crashed into my life in Ibiza," he says, his voice dropping. "And everything changed. I was supposed to kill you. That was the job. That was what I was hired to do. But I couldn't. I looked at you and I just... couldn't."
I can feel tears starting to blur my vision.
"I fell for you," Julian says simply. "And I'm sorry for the pain I caused.
I'm sorry for the lies. I'm sorry for everything you had to go through because of me.
But I'm not sorry for what I feel. I'm not sorry that I know you.
I'm not sorry that you're alive. You're worth everything to me, Isabelle.
Everything I've risked, everything I've lost—you're worth all of it.
And you saved my ass today, but even if you hadn't…
even if I was still leaving here with a death sentence over my head, it would still all be worth it.
I fucking love you, Isabelle Montague, and it's the scariest fucking thing that's ever happened in my life, but it's true. "
The confession hangs in the air between us, and I stare at him, this man who was supposed to kill me, this assassin who became my protector, this person who's shown me more genuine care and devotion than anyone else in my life.
And I realize I'm crying. "I don't know what to say," I whisper.
"You don't have to say anything," Julian says quietly. "I just needed you to know. Before you walk out that door and out of my life, I needed you to know that what I feel is real."
For a long moment, I can't speak. He thinks I'm going to leave. He thinks I'm going to walk away and never look back.
And I should. That would be the smart thing to do—to cut ties with the man who was hired to kill me, to start fresh somewhere far away from assassins and contracts and all the darkness we've been living in.
But I don't want to.
"I have feelings for you too," I say softly.
Julian's entire body goes still.
"I've tried to deny it," I continue slowly.
"I've tried to convince myself it was just physical attraction.
Just adrenaline and danger and the intensity of our situation.
But it's not. It's real. I felt that it was real when we were on the run together, especially after that night on the balcony, and… "
I take a step toward him, and I can see the hope starting to dawn in his expression. "You lied to me. You were hired to kill me. You kept that secret for weeks while I trusted you with my life. And I should hate you for that. I should never want to see you again.
"But I don't hate you," I whisper. "I can't. Because I know why you did it.
I know you were trying to protect me. I know you were fighting your own battle between what you were supposed to do and what you wanted to do.
And I know you chose me. You chose to protect me instead of killing me.
You chose to risk your own life to keep me safe. You chose me over everything else."
Julian's breathing has gone ragged.
"I'm complicated," I whisper. "I'm messy. I've never been a serious relationship kind of girl. I don't know how to do this. I don't know how to trust someone who started out as my would-be assassin… but I want to try. I want to see if what we have can be something real."
I take another step closer, until we're almost touching. "So I'm asking you… do you want to try? Do you want to see if we can build something real from all of this?"
"Yes." The word comes out immediately. "Yes, I want to try."
"Then let's start with a date," I say, and I can feel a smile starting to break through the tears. "Just a normal date. Somewhere we can just be two people getting to know each other."
He reaches out and cups my face in his hands, his touch gentle. "I'll do whatever you need," he says quietly. "I'll move at whatever pace you're comfortable with. I'll earn your trust. I'll prove that what I feel is real."
"I know it's real," I whisper. "I can see it in your eyes."
He leans in slowly, giving me time to pull away. But I don't pull away. I close the distance between us and kiss him.
It's different from every other kiss we've shared. There's no desperation in it, no fear or adrenaline or the shadow of death hanging over us. It's just two people who've survived hell together and want to see what comes next.
When we finally pull apart, Julian rests his forehead against mine. "We should get out of here," he says.
"Yeah," I agree. "We should."
We gather our things and walk toward the door together. The apartment is still a wreck behind us. But we're leaving it behind. We're leaving all of it behind.
The contract is over. The assassins are gone. Vivienne is out of my life. My father knows the truth, and he's on my side. We survived.
And now, maybe, we can begin something new. Something worth fighting for.
Julian takes my hand as we step into the hallway, and I hold on tight.