Chapter 3 Snooki
Ilifted my hand and knocked on Grim’s door, knowing I was already interrupting a meeting with his officers since I could hear Mammoth and Rael inside.
“Come in,” the president of the Tonopah GBMC called out as I turned the knob and entered his office. “Hey, Snooki. Everything alright?”
It was a legit question. I didn’t bother him often.
“Yes and no,” I admitted. “I think I need your help.”
Mammoth and Rael stood taller, focusing on me with a fierceness that nearly stole the breath from my lungs.
Being around the members as long as I had, I knew what they were.
I’d seen the Reapers in action and witnessed the possessive, protective males with their ol’ ladies.
Truth be told, I stuck around The Crossroads as long as I did because of the protection and the hope that one day I might become as cherished as one of their women.
At one time, I thought Rael would choose me. I’d been so in love with him that it never occurred to me he’d fall for someone else. Our relationship hadn’t been more than sex, but I still hoped. Foolish.
He fell hard for Nylah, his beloved nurse, the night they met.
God, that fucking hurt. My heart took a long time to recover.
After that, I didn’t sleep with the members often.
It usually happened when the loneliness got to be too much for me.
Being with one of the members made me feel desired, cared for, and part of their unique brotherhood.
A family that bonded through violence, sweat, and death more than blood.
Rael growled, and my gaze snapped to him, taking in his black and white, skeletal-themed face paint. He always wore it. I rarely saw him without it. On occasion, he’d skip it for Nylah or his boys, too caught up in them to bother with it.
Masks had always been a kink of mine. It was probably one of the reasons I gravitated toward Rael to begin with.
Same with Diablo. He often wore red and black makeup, painting a demonic face over his devilishly handsome features.
Dio and I shared a friendship that had lasted beyond the times I’d visited his room.
But it had been the same as it was for most of the members now.
Once they met their women, that was it. The Reaper chose, and these men fell hard, fast, and deep.
There was no other woman for them afterward.
I wanted that so fucking bad. But, at the same time, it made me realize I wasn’t ol’ lady material. I had been skipped over too many times. Fucked and forgotten. Just a club girl, good on my knees and back, but not worth the time or heart to invest in.
It sounded bitter. I wasn’t. I just knew my place. There was a difference. I found a routine, interacted with families, members, and prospects, and kept to myself. It was safer than risking my heart again.
“What happened, Snooki?”
Rael’s deep voice nearly sent a shiver down my spine. Oddly enough, it didn’t turn me on. My thoughts went straight to Pagan—the biker with the panty-melting grin, sexy swagger, and bruised ribs.
“Pagan. He needs help.”
“Pagan?” Grim asked. “Is that the biker you’ve been visiting?”
Rael and Mammoth watched my reaction along with Grim.
“Yes. He’s the reason I called Nylah. I don’t think he’d still be alive if I hadn’t had my fingers on his artery before she arrived. The EMTs said he would have bled out.”
“Damn,” Mammoth rumbled.
The V.P. was the biggest man I’d ever met. Huge. Nearly six and a half feet tall and with shoulders almost too broad to fit through the doors. He was one of the sweetest guys in the bunch —a big teddy bear —but also fiercely protective of the club, its members, and their families.
I never slept with Mammoth. Never wanted to, and he never approached me. But the V.P. never slept with the club girls either. He found pussy outside the club when he wanted it. It didn’t matter now because he’d met Rowen and had two boys, one with her since they’d had the baby recently.
“Nylah mentioned it,” Rael informed us.
Grim cleared his throat. “He wrecked his bike, didn’t he?”
“A hit and run. It’s totaled. I think it would be a nice gesture to get it out of the impound lot and bring it to the shop. I’ll help pay for the repairs. Pagan is a nomad, Grim, but he’s still a Graven Bastard.”
Grim nodded. “Agreed.” He turned to Mammoth. “Get the bike and bring it in. See that the repairs are done.”
“You got it, Pres.”
Grim ticked his chin at Rael. “Go with her to the hospital. Find out what you can about Pagan. I wanna know why he’s here. Why haven’t we seen him before now?”
Rael nodded. “Done. We met him before, Pres. The name is familiar.”
“Yeah, I thought so too. Check it out.”
“I’m on it,” Rael promised.
Grim dismissed us, and I watched Mammoth leave through the bar, heading out to pick up Pagan’s bike.
Rael walked beside me as we approached the exit, leaving the clubhouse. It was already bright out, and I slipped on my sunglasses.
“You’ve been visiting him every day.”
“I have,” I answered, wondering why that was the first thing he said to me.
“It’s two hours away.”
So? “I’m a nice person.”
He turned to me, searching my eyes as if the sunglasses shielded nothing from him. “He hurts you, and I will fucking end him.”
I blinked, taken aback by his fierce declaration. “I’m not your ol’ lady.”
“I know,” he growled.
“And?”
“I feel a responsibility for you. You’re important to the club.”
The club. No to him. It wasn’t a sexual thing at all. I didn’t feel that way toward him, but we’d had a friendship since I arrived at The Crossroads. He was the first member to make me feel special, cared for, and accepted. This hurt.
He must have noticed. “Fuck.” Rael scrubbed a hand down his face and over his whiskered jaw. “I didn’t mean it the way you took it.”
“And how’s that?” I asked with attitude.
“Damn, Snooki. Don’t bust my balls. What we had in the past,” he paused, looking uncomfortable. “The Reaper cares about you. All the Reapers do. You look after us all. We respect you.”
“I’m glad you can acknowledge it.”
“Shit. You know how amazing you are,” he laughed, some of the tension easing from his shoulders.
Not enough, though. No member had ever wanted me for an ol’ lady. I didn’t say it, but I think he felt it because a long sigh escaped his lips.
“You ridin’ in a cage?”
I nodded, knowing he’d never put me on the back of his bike. That was Nylah’s place. I didn’t resent it.
“I’ll follow you.”
And that was it—no other words needed to be spoken.
We parted ways as I grabbed one of the Reaper’s Custom Rides & Repairs vehicles.
The club loaned them to people who needed a vehicle while theirs was in the shop.
Since I lived at the clubhouse full time, I had use of one whenever I wanted.
No car payments or maintenance bills for me.
I guess I was a little spoiled.
The drive to the hospital was quiet, and I had far too much time to focus on my thoughts, the conversation with Rael, brief though it was, and on the biker I was going to visit. Again.
I’d come every day. Maybe I just felt bad because he didn’t seem to have anyone who cared about him. He was riding through life alone, without a home or anyone to share it with. No woman that I knew of.
Of course, I didn’t ask him. Not yet. Today wouldn’t be the day either because of Rael. He was going to make shit awkward. He always did.
Honestly, I believed Rael thrived on chaos and fucking with people. His twin was also a handful. Chrome didn’t have the same giddy delight in being an asshole, though. He was calmer, more subdued. But the two were close.
The club didn’t take Rael’s shit. He got fucked with as much as he messed with others.
The guys respected Rael. They knew he had their backs, and he was the first to show up whenever anyone needed anything.
That spoke a lot about his dedication to the members.
He earned his position as Sergeant-at-Arms.
I knew all of this because I’d seen it, lived it, and breathed it for a time when we were spending all those hours together in his bed. I fell for the guy with a huge heart and who could fuck me into the late hours of the morning, always ready to go again. He never left me unsatisfied.
Now, Nylah was going to marry that virile, strong, handsome biker. They had a date set for Valentine’s Day. I was happy for them. Truly. Rael wasn’t my guy, and I was okay with that.
But now I was convinced that life as ol’ lady wouldn’t happen for me. The best I could hope for was some incredible orgasms and a biker who didn’t expect more than I wanted to commit. I wasn’t leaving my life in Tonopah. Despite the past, I was happy.
I parked close to the entrance and climbed out of the SUV as Rael cut his engine. His pretty bike, with the blood-red sparkly paint and Reaper painted on the tank, shone like a brand-new penny. It was gorgeous.
“Hey, you ready?”
“Yep.”
He walked beside me, gaze bouncing around the interior out of habit.
That was one thing I might never get used to.
Bikers tended to be territorial but were always vigilant, ready for trouble, and watching for it whenever we were in public.
Grocery store. Mall. Hospital. You name the place, they would be scouting exits, watching for security, and ensuring they spotted anyone who looked out of place or dangerous.
The men and their Reapers would remove any threats without hesitation.
I never doubted my safety when I had a member and their Reaper for company.
We took the elevator to Pagan’s room and entered. I never bothered to knock. He always seemed happy to see me.
“Hey, Pagan,” I greeted him as I approached his bed.
He looked better today. Less pale. Stronger. I told him so.
“Thanks, Snooki.” His gaze flicked over me and then to Rael and stayed there. “Who are you?”
Rael grinned. It wasn’t the friendly kind. More like he sensed a conflict and decided to indulge it. Fanning flames instead of dousing them with water. “You’re Pagan.” He seemed to assess the man in the bed. “A nomad.”
Pagan crossed his arms over his chest. I knew it cost him because his finger twitched. He didn’t betray the pain it caused his cracked ribs and bruised chest, but I had been here enough to know the level of pain his body endured since the accident. “That’s right.”
Was I the only one who noticed Rael refuse to answer him?
“This is Rael. He’s the Sergeant at Arms of the Tonopah chapter,” I informed him as I introduced the big guy standing beside me.
He moved a step closer as if he thought he needed to shield me from Pagan. “You plan on coming to The Crossroads?”
“Maybe,” Pagan grunted.
I frowned as I caught the weird standoff they were in. Since Real wasn’t telling him what Grim decided, I jumped in. “Grim sent Mammoth, the V.P., to pick up your bike from the impound lot. The club is going to take care of the repairs.”
Pagan tore his gaze from Rael, where they were staring one another down, to me. “You responsible for that, beautiful?”
“Well, yes. I asked Grim.”
“Thank you, darlin’. That was sweet.” He cut his gaze to Rael. “But I can take care of myself.”
Rael smirked. “You’re a Graven Bastard. Nomad or not, we’re the closest club to lend a hand.”
“Funny how I’m just now seein’ ya.”
The humor bled from Rael’s face so fast I actually caught a glimpse of his Reaper. He took offense to Pagan’s words.
“Had club business. We came as soon as we could.”
Pagan didn’t appear to believe him. “That’s bullshit.”
Rael growled.
Pagan sat up straighter.
Well, shit. This wasn’t going well at all.