Chapter 3 #2
Something crashed in the outer office. She wondered if Marianne had come back. Her assistant had left early and Noreen had treated her cooly because of it. She got up and opened her office door. Surely the outside door was locked but she should check. The handle didn’t move. The door was secure.
Suddenly she felt a presence in the room.
No, no, no. She knew it wasn’t Marianne. She screamed…
“Noreen, sweetie, wake up.”
More screams. She felt the shaking. “Wake up, Noreen.”
Her eyes flew open. It was dark, but she could see someone in the dim light she left on when she slept.
Eve sat down and pulled her into her arms. “Shh, love. Shh. You’re home, in my house and you’re fine.”
Noreen drew back, finally recognizing her mother’s voice and the safe arms around her.
* * *
“Hey, there Nick. Thanks for getting together with me.”
“I’m always on call for you, Jackson. That’s why you pay the big bucks.”
Jackson laughed. His whole demeanor was…light and he brimmed with happiness. For a minute Nick envied the guy. “Let’s get the business stuff out of the way first, then we can enjoy a long lunch and catch up.”
Nick had been right. Jackson had wanted to be his friend. They discussed Pathways and a couple of trusts Jackson wanted for his soon-to-be three kids. Nick taped the conversation. “I’ll take care of all this and send you the paperwork.”
“Do that.” Jackson grinned. “Let’s order a cocktail now.”
“You never drink at lunch.”
Jackson shrugged. “I know. But….”
“All right. I’ll have some vino.”
Their drinks came and Nick lifted his glass. “To the new baby. Who’s almost here, right?”
“Not quite. We still have a couple of months left. I can’t wait. I’d have five more if I could.”
“How does Maisy feel about that?”
“I wouldn’t be surprised if there was still one more to come after this, but the decision is hers. She’s most affected professionally by it.”
“Yeah, I understand that.”
Jackson studied his face. “You look tired, Nick. Not sleeping well?”
“Not last night.” He heard the strain in his own voice.
Jackson leaned forward. “Want to tell me why?”
Suddenly, he did want that. “I dreamed about Scotty.”
“Your son.” Jackson put his hand on Nick’s forearm. “You never talk about him.”
He cleared his throat. “It hurts too much. But the dream…it hurt more.”
“Did you relive the accident?”
“Worse. I dreamed he was still alive. And instead of turning my back on the sandbox to take a call, I sat right down in it and built sandcastles with…” He couldn’t get any more words out.
“Oh, Nick. How horrific.”
“I haven’t dreamed about him in a year, easy.”
“Do you want to talk about the accident?”
“You probably know the gist. Audrey nagged me to take him to the park, I was distracted, then a big client called and I turned my back to talk to him. Scotty went up and down the slide by himself…went too fast…hit a post. He died on impact.”
“I’m so sorry. You must carry that burden deep inside you.”
“Usually, it’s deep inside. It came to the surface last night, hence my mood. I’m not sure why…” The latter was untrue. Nick knew exactly why. He’d opened himself to Noreen at the deepest level and the floodgates never closed.
“Did you ever talk with a professional about this?”
“I did. Logically, I knew I needed help to work through what happened to me, but I never drilled down to the guilt I felt. Feel. I finally quit seeing him.”
“Maybe you should go back. Or to someone else. And tackle that.”
“You think?” He hated the vulnerability in that question but he couldn’t help it.
“Yeah. I don’t know if we ever get over the horrible things that happened to us, but a counselor can frame it for you. Help you move on.”
Nick cocked his head. “Have you been to counseling?”
“Yeah, after I made my first million and still wasn’t happy. I was in a gang when I was a teen. I did horrible things. Had horrible things done to me. I never dealt with it until I got help. I doubt I could ever have fallen in love if I hadn’t.”
“Wow. That’s a lot.”
“Yeah. You know, you and I have worked together for a long time and never talked about these things.”
“I’ve closed everybody off.” But Noreen snuck in. “I’m glad we’re having this conversation.”
“Me too. And if you ever have a bad time you can’t get through alone, call me. And think about a counselor.”
“Thanks, Jackson. I will.”
* * *
Noreen was in a much better place as she drove back to Westwood. Her mother always did that for her. She was so lucky to have the woman in her life. Noreen didn’t think she could ever be there for a child as Eve had been for her. Her hand went to her stomach. Too bad.
Luckily, the roads were clear so she drove steadily and reached Westwood in thirty minutes.
She checked her watch. Maybe she’d go to the clinic.
See if they were busy and needed help. Paxton had hired a replacement doctor full time and while he was away on his honeymoon, the man had filled in.
But sometimes the adjustment of someone new was slow.
He might need help. She didn’t want to talk to Nick but if he came by, she would at least have some cover there.
But he probably wouldn’t try to find her.
She’d checked her phone and he hadn’t called after the wild night they’d had.
She’d been absurdly disappointed. Which was stupid!
She walked into the clinic and saw the waiting room was full. The security guard, Tom, nodded to her and she crossed to the reception desk. “Lots of people today,” she said to Jon.
“We’re crushed. Any chance you can stay?”
“Yes, I can.” It would get her mind off Nick. “Let me change into scrubs and I’ll buzz you when I’m ready. I’ll tell the new guy I’m helping out.”
The day zipped by. She saw a patient with a bad cough, a woman who had a huge hematoma on her side—she sent her to the hospital. Two little kids with bronchitis. And a nearby store owner who’d cut his arm on broken glass and had run over to the clinic bleeding.
By six, they’d treated everybody. Noreen was the last to finish up and was in the office with the door open, when the bell over the front rang, indicating someone had come in. Damn, hadn’t Jon closed up?”
Raking her hair back, she walked into the front area. And saw Nick standing out front.
* * *
Nervous, Nick had decided they needed to talk so he didn’t carry around this anxiety for days. And, to be honest, he wanted to see her. So he was glad when she opened the door. “Hello, Nick.”
“Hello, Noreen.” He looked past her. “Are you here all alone?”
“Everyone inside left but the guard is out front.”
“Out front?” He scowled. “How would you contact him if something happened in here?”
“All employees have the car on speed dial. It’s only for the times the security guard inside isn’t here. I don’t think we’ve used the number so far.”
“Why are you working anyway?” he asked.
“There’s a new doctor filling for Pax and they got busier than he could handle. When we closed, I sent everybody home and was finishing up paperwork.”
“Will you come with me somewhere to talk?”
Conflicting emotions crossed her face. One was desire. She wanted to go with him.
But she straightened her shoulders. “No. If you want to talk, we’ll do it in the office.”
“I—”
She preempted him by heading to the office. He followed. She turned to face him. Damn, he wanted to kiss that remote look off her face. So he walked further inside. And reached for her. “Don’t,” she said stepping back.
“Why?”
“Like I said, Nick, we have to talk.” Her tone was impatient.
“All right.” He removed his coat and threw it on a chair and they sat across from each other. “We left things wide open three nights ago.”
Her eyes flamed like green fire. “You were gone in the morning before I got up.”
“I was. I’m sorry. I panicked.”
“It gave me time to think clearly.” For a moment, he saw regret on her face. “I’ve decided not to have a sexual relationship with you.”
His whole body stiffened. “Why?”
She cocked her head. “I’m not sure I could ever trust you, Nick.”
“Seriously?”
“Yes. I think you fell into this relationship without really wanting to.”
He knew that was true. “I keep to myself.”
“Why?”
“I don’t want to feel anything too deeply.”
“That’s what I’m saying. You don’t want a serious relationship. So why are you arguing for one?”
“I don’t know. I just…it was so…I felt…” He went silent.
“You can’t even get it out so I’ll say it. Being with you was too intense for us both, I think.”
“I lost all control with you.”
“It was the same for me. And I don’t want that either. It’s too…risky, I guess.” She stood and held out her hand. “So let’s part amicably. We’ll have a professional relationship only.”
He stood and took her hand. He was tempted to drag her to him and kiss her senseless because she thought she could just discard him.
But she’d been right. He didn’t want her in his life. It was too dangerous to his sanity.