2. Keondra Daily
I kept my eyes closed as I heard my room door creeping open.
The light sounds of Kehlani’s bare feet against the wooden floors let me know it was time to wake up.
Like clockwork, she came in before my alarm could go off.
My baby girl was an early bird, and sometimes, I wished she’d let me sleep in, even if it was for only ten minutes.
When I felt her presence closer to me, I counted down from five in my mind before popping my eyes open and playfully snatching her up. Her shrill screams filled the air as I kissed all over her sweet face.
“Daddy, stop!” she demanded in between giggles, trying her hardest to pry me away from her.
I kissed her a few more times before tossing her onto the other side of the bed. That had become our morning routine, and as tired as I was, I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.
Once she caught her breath and calmed down, she crawled up to me with her favorite stuffed bunny, Rabbie, cradled in her arms. She snuggled against my chest and peered up at me with eyes that made me give into her each and every time.
“Daddy?”
“Yes, KeKe?”
“I’m hungry.”
I chuckled and ran my hand down my face. “You’re always hungry. What do you want to eat?”
“Can I go to work with you? I want some of those waffles Chef Q made for me the last time I was there. The ones with the whipped cream and fruit on top.”
“Hold on. Let me see.”
Leaning over, I was careful not to move her head while I grabbed my phone.
I checked the time. If we didn’t leave within the next twenty minutes, we wouldn’t have time.
My aunt was strict about her routine with Kehlani and dropping her off at day care while I was at work.
I didn’t want or need to hear her mouth about throwing her off, so I sat up and so did Kehlani.
“We can, but you gotta promise me you’ll be ready to leave when I say it’s time. Auntie will be upset if we don’t have you dropped off on time, and so will my pockets. Can you do that?”
“Yes, sir. I already picked out my outfit.”
“Did you now? Go get it and show it to me.”
Eagerly, Kehlani rolled off my bed and ran to her room.
While she went to grab her clothes, I headed to my bathroom to start getting ready for the day.
I sent Q a text, asking if he was at the restaurant.
When he confirmed that he was, I asked him to get Kehlani’s breakfast together before we got there.
My baby girl loved to take her time eating, and I needed her food to be ready.
“Look, Daddy.” Kehlani came around the corner, holding up her outfit on a hanger. “It’s the new one you got me the other day. I think it will go good with my new braids.”
No one prepared me for being a girl dad, and every day, I prayed I was doing it right. From the outfits to the hair, I had no clue what I was doing. Grateful was an understatement when it came to my mom and aunt helping me, but gradually, I was figuring things out on my own as well.
“You like that outfit, KeKe?”
She dramatically nodded. “I love it. The shorts are purple. You know that’s my favorite color.”
“It is.” I chuckled. “That’s why I got them.”
“You know, Ms. Miles favorite color is orange. I told her yours was black.”
“Did you now?”
“Yes, sir. She’s my favorite. She comes to see me all the time. I think I’m her favorite too.”
“That’s good, baby. Come on. Let’s brush your teeth and stuff so I can get ready. Chef Q said he’ll have your food ready when we get to the restaurant.”
“Oh, yay!”
All I could do was wag my head when Kehlani dropped her outfit and skipped over to me.
I picked her up, kissed her cheek, and set her on the sink.
Together, we brushed our teeth while her favorite hygiene song played on my phone.
It was the only way I made sure she properly brushed for two minutes, and it made it enjoyable for her.
Once we were done, I washed her face and moisturized her body with her favorite lotion.
She stepped into my room to get dressed while I went to my closet to do the same.
Every morning that I had to work was the same for us, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.
Kehlani was my pride and joy, my entire life.
If it wasn’t for her, there was no telling where I would be.
“Daddy, do you like my hair?”
Kehlani snatched her bonnet off, and the beads hit her all in the face. She swiped them away, peering up at me.
“It’s beautiful, KeKe. Did it hurt?”
“No, silly. You know I’m not tender headed.”
Her words made me smile. I walked closer to get a better look.
One thing my mother, Grace, did was made sure Kehlani’s hair stayed done.
Between her and my Aunt Faith, I wasn’t sure who spoiled her more.
I knew it was because Kehlani was the only girl in the family so far.
My mom had two boys, and my aunt had one.
They’d been pleading for a girl, so when we found out my ex was having one, they went crazy.
The braids were cute and age appropriate for Kehlani. Her hair was braided into two pigtails at the top and braided down in the back. It was a nice style that would last a good while before I had to wash her hair again.
It didn’t take long for me to finish getting ready. Hand in hand, Kehlani and I headed to the garage to get into my truck. After making sure she was secure in her car seat, I got inside, and we headed to my restaurant, Daily Fix.
“Daddy, can we listen to my playlist?”
“Of course.”
I turned on the playlist we made for her last week and listened to her sing along to every song.
Every so often, I would glance in the rearview mirror.
My baby girl was so pretty. She looked just like her mother, and sometimes, I didn’t like it.
While my ex, Demetria, had blessed me with the greatest gift in life, she didn’t stick around to appreciate it.
Selfishly, when Kehlani was two, Demetria chose herself.
She no longer wanted to dedicate her life to being a mother.
The desire and love to pursue her dreams outweighed the love she had for Kehlani.
Demetria swore up and down it wasn’t like that, but she couldn’t convince me otherwise.
That night she dropped Kehlani off always played in the back of my mind.
The constant ringing of my doorbell woke me up.
I shot up, and my heart pounded in an erratic rhythm.
Grabbing my gun from my nightstand, I headed to the front door.
On the walk to it, my eyes caught one of my clocks to see it was a little after three in the morning.
I had no clue who could be at my door in the middle of the night, especially with how frantically they were ringing the doorbell.
It was witching hours, as my mother called it, so it couldn’t be good news.
“Who is it?” I yelled and pressed my ear against the door.
“It’s me.”
I’d know Demetria’s voice from anywhere, so I wasted no time tucking my gun in my waist and opening the door.
There she stood with Kehlani in her arms. Rain pitter pattered in the background, and I immediately felt my anger rising.
“Are you serious, Demetria? Why do you have my daughter out in the rain in the middle of the night?” I gently took a sleeping Kehlani and Rabbie from her and kissed Kehlani’s cheek.
Demetria didn’t speak. Instead, she blankly stared at us with tears cascading down her cheeks. It wasn’t until then that I noticed the bags crowding her feet. Everything belonged to Kehlani. Off in the distance, Demetria’s car was still running with the headlights on. I looked from the bags to her.
“What the fuck is going on, Demetria?”
“I choose me, Keondra.”
“Excuse me?”
Tossing her arms in the air, Demetria released an exasperated breath and placed her hands on top of her head.
She looked me straight in my eyes and explained.
“I choose me. For the past three years, which includes my pregnancy, I’ve chosen Kehlani.
Don’t get me wrong. I love my baby, but I can’t be who I need to be because I need to be a mother first. Do you know how draining that is when I have aspirations in life?
I can’t do the things I want or need to do because every ounce of energy I have goes into her.
It’s draining, Keondra, and I refuse to continue going on like this. ”
I thought I wasn’t hearing things correctly.
It was my turn to stare at Demetria blankly as I processed her words.
Did I understand what she meant? Partially.
As long as I’d known Demetria, she’d been ambitious.
It was one of the many things that drew me to her, but the shit she said didn’t make any sense to me when majority of the time, Kehlani was with me.
Demetria and I split six months after Kehlani was born, but our relationship was over way before that.
She had checked out on me when she was about three months pregnant.
I immediately realized it, but I fought to keep us together.
I assumed it was because of her pregnancy hormones.
When things didn’t change after KeKe was born, I accepted it for what it was.
Since then, Kehlani was with me at least 85 percent of the time. I probably had her for three weeks out the month compared to Demetria’s one. If that wasn’t enough time for her to choose herself, then I didn’t know what was.
With my free hand, I scrubbed my hand down my face. “Don’t tell me you’re doing what I think you’re doing.”
Slowly, Demetria nodded and took a step back. “I am. I love our daughter, but you know this life isn’t what I wanted.”