Chapter 39
AFTER SIMRAN’S MOM left, Rajan knew what he had to do. He told his dad his plan, and for once, his father seemed to approve.
Rajan waited until morning before calling Kat. “I need out of Kelowna,” he told her. “I’ve been approached by the Lions.”
As Kat listened, he explained that an old friend had cornered him yesterday. Ordered him to come back to work for the Lions. If he didn’t, he’d pay with his life.
By the end of his story, Kat was typing frantically. “I’m going to make some calls. I’m so glad you told me.”
Once everything was arranged, he called Nick.
It’s early afternoon by the time Nick rolls up in his Benz. Rajan’s sure his dad sees him getting in the car, but he doesn’t care. At this point, it’s pretty hard to screw things up more than he already has.
“So,” Nick says a few minutes into the drive. “Why’d you suddenly decide to take my advice and skip town?”
“You were right, okay?” Moodily, Rajan sinks lower in his seat. “Me staying does nothing for Simran. Actually, it makes everything worse. I just didn’t want to see that before because...” He sighs, finally admitting it to himself. “I didn’t want to leave her.”
“And what made you figure that out?”
“Simran’s mom found out we kissed.”
Nick brakes too hard at a red light. “What?”
“Yep.” Rajan pops the p. “She came by our house yesterday to tell me herself.”
Nick whistles, long and low. “You don’t do anything halfway, man.” Then, a grin creeps over his face. “So she’s just your ‘volunteering buddy,’ huh?”
“Don’t.” Rajan’s not in the mood.
Nick adopts an airy, exaggerated bro-drawl that does not sound like Rajan. “‘You totally made a mistake taking her, dude. I don’t give a fuck about her. That’s why I completely lose my shit every time she’s in trouble.’”
“Nick, I’m about to commit an actual homicide right now.”
“Okay, I’m done.” Nick’s grin fades. “We’re here, anyway.”
They are; a nondescript gas station parking lot, one Rajan is very familiar with.
Nick parks, then gives him a close look. “You sure about this?”
Rajan wonders what, exactly, Nick can read on his face. “Yeah.” If he’s going to leave town, he’s going to make damn sure Simran is taken care of first.
They go inside. Maya is sweeping the aisle, and she brightens upon seeing Rajan, which makes him feel ill.
“Haven’t seen you in a while,” she says. “You quit.”
“I work somewhere else now,” he replies. He nods at Nick, and Maya follows his gaze. “With other people.”
Nick places a notebook on the counter, above the lotto tickets. Maya glances at Rajan.
“Rajan, what—”
“This is your job interview,” he says shortly. “You want an accounting job? You got it.”
Then he goes outside because he can’t stomach watching her do it.
Eventually, Nick comes out and joins him next to his Benz. He doesn’t say anything at first; just lights a cigarette. After blowing a few smoke rings, he says, “She’s perfect.”
Rajan knew that already. “Will it convince the godfathers?”
“If I can spin it right, maybe. She’s way more qualified than Simran, that’s for sure. But Simran’s got something degrees can’t buy. Will they be willing to make that exchange?”
“That’s your problem now. I kept up my end—I got you a new bookkeeper. Now it’s up to you and Zohra to use her.” They’re the ones with the power to make this happen. Not him. “Promise me you’ll get Simran out.”
“It’s going to take a while.”
“Then make sure she doesn’t get hurt in the meantime. The Aces—”
“Won’t touch her. I’ve got people watching her now.” Before Rajan can draw breath, Nick adds, “To keep her safe. Same with your family.”
Rajan narrows his eyes. “Why would you do that?”
“Because despite what you think, I actually do care,” Nick says. “That’s why I vouched for you, you know. When the Lions wanted to off you.”
And then Nick takes another casual drag from his cigarette as if he didn’t just drop a bomb. Rajan can only stare. “What the hell?”
“Everyone believed you killed Jai,” Nick continues without looking his way.
“One of ours. If you hadn’t gotten arrested, someone would’ve killed you that night for sure.
But me and Zohra made a deal while you were in juvie.
If we got you back on the payroll, they wouldn’t put out the hit.
That’s why we came to Kelowna.” A slight smile. “Didn’t count on Simran, though.”
So that’s why they set him up with OxyContin dude. It wasn’t a game—they had to prove to the higher-ups that he was still loyal. Nick was trying to save his life.
“I know you don’t trust me and Zohra,” Nick adds. “We got you hooked. I get it. But you have to believe me when I say I wish I didn’t do it.”
Rajan finds his voice. “I’m not even close to the first person you recruited. Stop pretending you give a shit.”
“You’re right. I never gave a shit,” Nick replies unflinchingly.
“And neither did you, today.” He nods at the gas station behind them, and Rajan glares.
“That’s right. You can make me out to be the bad guy, but for you and Simran to leave, someone else has to fall in.
You don’t get to walk away with your conscience intact. ”
“Trust me, it already wasn’t.”
“Then you understand. Yeah, you’re right: From day one I was in this for the action.
Never cared about the mess we left behind.
But the guy who brought me into the Lions told me, before he got gunned down, that there’d be a day I’d wish I never joined.
I didn’t believe him. I loved this, you know?
Never a boring day. What could I possibly regret? ”
“This is a nice little storytime,” Rajan mutters. “But I don’t see your point.”
“The point is, shithead, you’re not the first person I recruited.” Nick drops his half-smoked cigarette and grinds it under his heel. “But you were the first one I liked.”
When Rajan returns home, he ignores his father, who’s staring accusingly from the couch, and goes to Yash’s room. Knocks. No answer, but he can hear the faint sounds of a video game.
“Yash, I know you’re in there.” The door is slightly ajar, so he pushes it open.
Yash is a lump under his comforter. Rajan knocks on the bedside table. “Can I come in?”
Yash lifts the corner of his comforter in response. Rajan gets under it. His feet dangle over the edge of the mattress. Yash pauses his game as Rajan props himself up on his elbows. “So—”
“I heard you talking to your probation officer,” Yash says. “I know you’re leaving.”
There goes the gentle breaking of bad news he was going to do. Rajan sighs. “Yeah. Sorry.”
“We just got you back.”
Rajan’s throat closes momentarily. “You and Sukha might be better off without me around. Like Dad said.”
“No, we’re not.” With a frustrated growl, Yash buries his head into his pillow. “Why do you listen to Dad at the worst possible times?”
Rajan chooses to ignore that. “I’m only leaving for a while, okay? I’ll get a job in Halifax. I’ll send you money. And lobsters.” He nudges Yash’s foot with his own. Yash doesn’t respond. “C’mon, dude. Don’t be like that. You know I love you.”
Yash lifts his head. “Don’t say that.”
“Why not?”
“Because that’s what Mom said.” His mouth quivers. “Before she left.”
Shit. Rajan closes his eyes to the memory. Leaving home with his mom...her kissing his younger brothers goodbye. It feels like decades ago.
“I don’t want you to die.” Yash wipes his cheek. Is he crying?
Rajan pulls Yash close. “I’m not dying. Promise. I—”
“When will you be back?”
Rajan has no answer to that. He needs to let his name fade from the Lions’ memory, however long that takes.
Yash shakes his head. “Mom didn’t know either. I don’t want you to go. I want everyone to be okay again. I want—” He’s crying now, fully, and Rajan hugs him tight under the covers.
“Yeah, yeah, I know, me too.” Yash’s small body shakes against him, and Rajan embraces him tighter. God, he wishes they could go back. He wishes he were the kind of teenager who made normal mistakes, not life-shattering ones. He wishes he hadn’t ruined everything.
But there’s no going back.
Blinking rapidly, he kisses Yash’s forehead. “If you need me, call. If you don’t need me, call anyway. Cuz I’m gonna call you so much it’s gonna annoy the shit out of you.” He pokes him. “And if you bring Oreos into this house, I might get on a plane just to kick your ass.”
Yash finally laughs, and Rajan playfully shoves his head down into his pillow, grateful they’re back to this. Then he rolls out of the bed and to his feet.
Surprisingly, Sukha’s door is open. Sukha is lounging on his bed, pointedly looking at his phone. Rajan’s sure Sukha’s heard every conversation in this house over the last few days: with Yash, with Kat, their dad, even with Simran’s mom. There’s nothing left to say.
However, he still feels compelled to say something. “I’m leaving.”
Sukha yawns.
Well, if that’s how it’s gonna be. Rajan steps back, lingering at the door to take one last look at his bunny, and the baseball beside it. Then he walks away.
It’s silent behind him. But Rajan feels a prickle in his neck telling him that only now, with his back turned, is Sukha watching him go.
Their father is waiting by the front door. “I spoke to my cousin,” he says to Rajan. “The one in Halifax. She’ll take you, for now.”
His eyes are red-rimmed, his face expressionless. When Rajan steps forward to hug him, because that feels like the thing to do, the embrace is formal and distant. His father nods when Rajan steps away. The briefest of acknowledgements: They both agree this course of action is the best one.
Rajan picks up his bag and remembers a happier time—when his father was one of the most loving people in the world. Regularly affectionate with his sons and his wife. But that well dried up; he’s stopped giving his love so easily, Rajan thinks. Because it hurt him too much.
For all that’s wrong between the two of them, Rajan can’t fault him for that.
Rajan has the taxi driver make one stop before the airport—the Hillway office. There, he fills out an evaluation for his mentor. He writes a glowing recommendation. He writes until he runs out of room and then he flips over the paper to finish.
When he hands it in, Paul’s eyebrows are raised. Rajan doesn’t care how suspicious it looks. “She’s amazing,” he tells Paul. “You’ll never find another one like her.” He doesn’t wait for a response before leaving.
The taxi is idling outside. Rajan gets in, and the driver is silent, pulling out of the space before Rajan’s even closed the door. Rajan leans back. Simran’s going to be pissed when she hears. Honestly, if she calls him about it, he’s not entirely sure he’ll have the strength to ignore her.
The taxi turns onto a side street. He glances at the driver, who’s reaching into his coat pocket. “Hey, are we going the right—”
The taxi driver tases him.
When Rajan comes to, he’s tied to a chair.
It takes him a while to wake completely.
He must’ve been drugged. But once he does, he registers that it’s totally dark.
And cold; his hoodie’s gone. While waiting for his vision to adjust, he tests the bonds binding his ankles to the chair legs and his wrists behind his back. They’re thin, plastic-y. Zip ties.
Fuck. He is so screwed. He squashes down his panic, though, because he suddenly gets the sense he’s not alone.
He can see better now. The walls are metal and ridged like a tin can. The room is long and rectangular, stretching maybe forty feet ahead of him. It’s a storage container.
And there’s a man in here with him.
He’s been standing completely still, to the side. When Rajan looks his way, he draws closer, as if he was waiting to be noticed.
Rajan doesn’t recognize him. Some white guy in his thirties. Wearing Rajan’s cap as if it’s his. In a leather jacket and...steel-toed, reinforced boots. That doesn’t bode well.
Hat Stealer considers him. “Word on the street is, you know who the Lions’ bookkeeper is.” His voice is monotone, bored.
Rajan’s heart drops. He already knew deep down he got taken by the Aces, but now it’s confirmed. They’re still looking for Simran. Of course they are. And if that’s what they want from him...he knows, right then, that he’s spending the rest of his life in this storage container.
It’s not fair. He promised Yash he would come back, damn it, he promised. And Sukha...he barely said anything to Sukha when he left. God, he should’ve said more. He should’ve told him he loved him, too.
He flexes his wrists, looking for any give in the ties. There isn’t. “You’ve got the wrong guy. I’m not with the Lions anymore.”
“That right?” Hat Stealer knocks on the wall before turning back to him. “Word on the street also says you’re the one who put Axel in the hospital, during the café hit.”
As he speaks, the door to the storage container opens slightly. Sunlight hits the floor. Rajan keeps his eyes on Hat Stealer. “A lot of bullshit words being said on the street, then. I’m on probation, I’m not involved.”
Out of nowhere, the guy punches him in the face.
The chair tips backward, but Hat Stealer steadies it almost gently. Rajan tests his jaw. That wasn’t actually too bad.
But, more than likely, it was just a teaser.
Rajan’s heard the horror stories. Someone you bought weed from last week gets left hanging in the rafters of some warehouse.
A godfather is kidnapped and the search stretches for days before they’re found, nearly unrecognizable, in the trunk of a car.
Shit like that. Sometimes it’s to make a point, or to get intel. Sometimes, it’s just because.
But he was too careful to be caught, Rajan always thought. He’d fight them off. He’d do any number of things to protect his own safety. Yet here he is.
A different kind of fear grips him. The kind he doesn’t like to admit to: being scared for himself. What right does he have to be scared for himself? What’s there to protect? Nothing. But he can’t help it.
Rajan steels himself. The worst thing he could do right now is show fear. “I know the LS has a bookkeeper.” That, everyone knows. “But I don’t know them. I’m not that important.”
The Ace tilts his head, studying him. For a second, Rajan thinks he believes him. It’s a reasonable lie, after all. But then he turns his head. “I think he needs a little help remembering, boys.”
Rajan finally focuses on the group that has entered. They’re clustered behind Hat Stealer, but when he moves aside, Rajan’s gaze fixates on one of them. Wait. It can’t be...
The familiar figure saunters closer, flicking a lighter on and off until he stops in front of him. And then, an amused little huff.
“Don’t look so surprised, Rajan,” Zach Singer says. “I’ve been waiting a long time for this.”