Chapter 24
Chapter Twenty-Four
Summer
I’d always thought of myself as a reasonably good actress. First there was the smoothing of my accent, then culturing myself so I wouldn’t sound like an uneducated rube. Learning how the middle classes did things helped me to become a character that was a million miles away from Shelby Mae.
I called on those skills now.
I hadn’t expected to see Hatch, and even though he was a fair way off, my Shelby senses had tingled and pointed my nipples right at him. He should have been on the other side of Lake Michigan, enjoying his vacation. Instead, he was here, confusing my hormones when they needed calm and quiet.
We took a seat at a table on the other side of the restaurant, and I accepted the menu handed to me by the server.
Suddenly I’d lost my appetite. How could I act normal while he was here?
Or while every set of peepers was locked onto me, waiting for …
what exactly? For me to knock back my chair and sprint out of here?
I had history after all.
But I wasn’t running. Not anymore. When Mr. Kershaw—Theo—had hugged me, I almost broke down in tears.
These people were so kind. Too kind. I didn’t deserve such consideration, but the Rebels captain’s gesture placed me under his protection.
No place felt safer, except perhaps that vacation house in Saugatuck with the man’s son.
But then I caught Hatch’s eyes, those all-seeing windows, and I realized I wasn’t safe at all.
I put in an order for coffee and a bagel and got a disapproving look from Adeline who thought I wasn’t eating enough. We had just inhaled a picnic-basket’s worth of scones at the coffee shop but apparently I needed to be shoveling the carbs non-stop to get meat on my bones.
“Back in a second.”
In the bathroom, I checked my reflection. I looked pale, but the circles under my eyes had faded, and I felt better physically than I had in months. While my life had imploded, I was taking small steps to get it back on track.
I would probably need to increase my stride if I wanted things to happen more quickly. I knew what I needed to do this afternoon, after Lars helped to move my life-in-boxes into Adeline and Rosie’s place. I sent a text and left the restroom.
Hatch was waiting against the wall.
Rather than luxuriate in the god before me, I flicked a quick glance down the corridor toward the restaurant. No one was in my sightline, but that didn’t mean this was safe. Before I could complain about the audacity, Hatch opened a nearby door and ushered me inside.
He turned on the light. We were in a utility closet.
“What are you doing?” Though it was rather obvious.
“I need to talk to you.”
“Anyone could see.”
He passed over my objection. “You shouldn’t have left like that. I was worried about you.”
I swallowed. “I had to go. I couldn’t rely on you anymore.” I had enough of that with Dash, and though it didn’t feel the same, there was the risk I would fall back into those old patterns.
“Sure, but I could have driven you back to the city. It wasn’t very efficient. Or good for the environment.”
That made me chuckle. “You think we should have been cooped up in a car together for three hours to save the planet?”
He moved in closer. “Carpooling is always the way to go. Like shared showers. And body heat to save on energy costs.”
His body heat was certainly not saving any energy costs in this small space. I placed a hand on his chest. Yeah, leeching heat all over the place.
“How many times have we said this is a bad idea?”
“Too many to count.” He sounded so resigned, which made me smile. He inclined his head further, and our lips were close enough to …
No more kissing. Or orgasms of the Hatch-made variety.
I pushed him back to give myself room to breathe. “Your dad is awesome.”
“True. Though married.”
I rolled my eyes. “Your sister, too.”
“Spoken for.”
“I’m staying with her and Rosie until I can get back on my feet.”
He didn’t seem surprised. “I’m glad they have your back.”
“They’ve been kind and non-judgmental. Now I need to work on getting my life on track. And this”—I waved between us, my knuckles grazing his chest. His hard, unyielding … focus—“is not helping.”
“We can’t pretend nothing happened, Sunshine.”
“Oh, yes, we can. I would have thought you’d be thrilled for me to be out of your hair. I ruined your vacation.”
“Vacations are all about sex, sun, and more sex. You’re denying me two out of three.”
“Could you be realistic about this? I had to go, to sort through the rubble of the life I just blew up. I couldn’t do that in Saugatuck.” I tapped his chest lightly. “I’m very grateful, though.”
“Not looking for gratitude,” he said moodily.
“Well, you have it. I don’t know what I would have done without your help. Not just the ride out of Dodge, but everything.”
“Don’t thank me for the orgasms.”
“Okay, I won’t.”
He was still annoyed, and I was rather miserable about the whole thing myself. “Are you going to stay mad at me forever?”
“Not mad at you.”
“Oh, please, Dino Boy! I’m having flashbacks to every run-in over the past year. I know when you’re mad at me.”
He growled.
“So. Mad.”
“I just thought we were getting somewhere.”
He sounded so woebegone. I felt his—I wouldn’t dare say heartache, but something more like disquiet—in my soul.
“We were. We’re friends now, aren’t we?”
He blew out a breath. “And if I want more?”
“You don’t think the Rebels have had enough teammate drama after your dad and Lars last season?”
“It’s not the same. Carter and I aren’t close.”
“It would still be a shitty thing to do to a teammate. And a shittier thing to do to the man I left at the altar.” Plus, I needed to figure out things on my own.
He leaned into me, and just the nearness of him almost undid me.
He cupped my jaw, and I found myself curling into his touch like a fool. It would be so easy to let him hold me, to lose myself in him. But that was my mom. That was me with Dash.
“Tell me you can stop what’s happening here, Summer.”
I shivered. “I’m not going to deny my attraction to you, Hatch. But if we were to follow through on this, it would look … incriminating. Like I planned to jilt Dash for you.”
“No one would think that.”
“I already look like a flake, and with you, I would look like a cheating flake.”
He studied me. “Do you feel like this is cheating?”
“No. I feel like it’s …” More than I could have ever wished for.
And definitely more than I deserve. “Getting out of control. I just exited a long-term relationship and I’m not ready to jump into another one.
My life has too many loose threads right now and if I pull on this one, the whole sweater will unravel. Not that you want a relationship—”
“I do.”
The shock of it, those two little words—the ones I had not said to Dash in the church—now repurposed in a different context almost knocked me over.
“But you barely know me. Up until a few days ago, you didn’t even like me.”
“And today I know you a bit better. And tomorrow I’ll know you a little more.
And the only way that’s going to happen, properly, is if we continue to get to know each other.
But I understand that this is a confusing time for you.
You need time to think. To figure out your game plan.
” He took one of my hands and placed it against his chest. His heartbeat thrummed under my fingertips, vital and life-affirming.
“Let me tell you mine. You. You’re my end game here. ”
My pulse hammered wildly. I couldn’t think straight around this man. It had always been like this. He confused the hell out of me with his coldness one minute, and his intense, scorching heat the next. I was a bird in the vortex, buffeted by the wind, trying like hell to survive.
I resolved to stay firm, though part of me wanted to surrender.
“I need to sort things out.”
“Got it.” He still held my hand, and the sight of his big one around my smaller one did strange things to me—as if I needed more strangeness! Raising my hand to his lips, he pressed a sweet kiss to my thundering pulse.
Not. Helping.
“I should go.” Before I cave to the shelter of you.
I wouldn’t say “see you later” because the look on his face made it clear.
Later was just a heartbeat away.