20. ‘Rebel’
TWENTY
‘REBEL’
MYA
Suddenly waking up, I’m laying in bed with Atlas’s heat surrounding me. Then I hear it again and I’m not sure what it is, so I carefully get up, throw on his T-shirt—which fits me like a dress—and then grab my panties. Once I’m decent, I make my way downstairs to see a faint light in the family room. Slowly I walk toward the light and the noise is getting louder. What I see has me quickly moving to Stefanos, getting down and grabbing him without thinking. His forehead is bleeding from banging his head against the wall in the corner. Immediately he starts to fight me, not saying a word. I never knew a kid his size could be so strong. When his fist slams into my bruised ribs, I let out a “Holy shit” and let him go, which has him scrimmaging across the floor. The look on his face is a cross of me being nuts or him wanting to keep pounding on me. I’m trying to find a way to sit here and not feel like my ribs are trying to come out of my side. I’m breathing and gasping, trying to figure out how he could manage to hurt me when hours before Atlas and I made love and I didn’t feel this kind of pain, though he was careful. Looking back to where Stefanos was, I see something moving. Looking up, Stefanos is close to me.
“Rebel, did I hurt you?”
Not sure how to answer him, I try to think of anything I might know about the spectrum. When Taz and Teddy first came to us, he was untouchable. It took years for him to get used to all of us. Taking a chance, I look at Stefanos and give him the truth.
“No, buddy, you didn’t hurt me, this happened earlier today.”
“Was that when you helped to find my yia-yia and papou? If you and your friends didn’t help, would they have gotten away? Please don’t treat me like a baby and tell me the truth.”
“Yeah, the Devil’s Handmaidens along with Tank’s club, The Intruders, with some others were able to locate where you grandparents were being kept. Finding them, we also found all those kids. And, Stefano, I can’t tell you whether they would have gotten out or not. The good thing is, they did and are being treated at the hospital. The best thing you can do for your grandparents is to be there for them because they are going to need you. Help them recover however you can. Now, kiddo, I have a question. Why were you banging your head against the wall? Kiddo, there’s nothing you can tell me that will make me not be here for you. I hope you know how much your dad and brothers love you.”
Shaking his head, he goes to bang his little hands against the floor, but stops.
“I’m sick and tired of everyone treating me with kid gloves. I’m not a dang kid and I deserve to be treated like what I am almost a preteen for Christ’s sake.”
Knowing something is eating him up, I just sit and wait. I can see his wheels turning, but after a few he sits completely on the floor, while putting his hands in his lap. His head looks like the bleeding is slowing, so I wait. I don’t rush him or ask a million and one questions. As time goes by, I start to get tired but refuse to give in. I’ve gotten Thanos and Konstantin to let me in. Stefanos is my only holdout. I’ve tried not to pressure him, maybe I was wrong. I think he’s gotten the wrong impression, so need to make my intentions clear.
“Hey, kiddo, look at me. Come on, give me your attention. I know it’s late but we need to talk. I think I made a mistake and I owe you an apology. Trying to give you time to get used to me might not have been the right thing to do because I was already bonding with both of your brothers. I’m so sorry, Stefanos. Can you forgive me for not thinking this through? Can you cut me some slack? Remember, I don’t have any kids and I’m new at all of this.”
To my utter shock, Stefanos gets up on his feet and just when I think he’s walking away and going back to bed, instead he walks toward me. He sits down next to me. I barely breathe, let alone move, not sure what to do. That’s when it feels like the earth tilts, as slowly he moves closer until he’s almost leaning into me. I say fuck it, and wrap an arm around him, pulling him close. Before I know it, he’s turned toward me and has both arms around me. When I hug him back, I hear his gasp, right before his arms tighten and his head goes to my chest. After about, I don’t know, five or ten minutes, I go to shift and, in a whisper, Stefanos asks quietly, “Please don’t stop hugging me, it feels good.” My arms lift him onto my lap and I cradle him to me, no matter how bad my ribs hurt. The house is quiet except for when the furnace turns on. The noise is luring me to sleep when I hear small snores coming from Stefanos. Just as my eyes start to droop, I hear a floorboard and immediately my eyes fly open to see an amazed Atlas looking dazed while watching us. He moves our way, scrunching down in front of me, his eyes taking both of us in. I shake my head, putting my fingers to my lips, not wanting to disturb Stefanos sleeping. Atlas reaches over, picking his son up and giving me a hand up. Together we take Stefanos back to his room and Atlas places him on the bed, then I cover him up. Leaving his door slightly open, we go back to our bedroom. That thought stops me in my tracks until Atlas grabs my hand, pulling me into the bedroom. After he shuts the door, he roughly brings me to his chest, holding on tightly. I feel wet on my forehead and when I look up, Atlas has tears on his cheeks.
“You okay, baby?”
Shaking his head, he starts to rub his hands up and down my back.
“How did you do that, Rebel? I can’t remember the last time I was able to hug on my boy. What were you doing up?”
I explain how I woke up hearing noises and the rest is history. As we talk about Stefanos and what he said or did, it’s like a light bulb goes off. Stefanos needs to be in therapy at least singularly, I’m thinking maybe one for him being on the spectrum, but also for the entire family. I tell Atlas how he doesn’t want to feel left out and he definitely needs interaction, physically and emotionally. He can’t stop apologizing, which after the first ten times I tell him to stop. Back in bed, we cuddle, just enjoying each other’s company. My mind is spinning because these boys have been exposed to shit they didn’t have to, and then their grandparents, if they make it out of the hospital, are going to need a lot of help. They will all need therapy, got to speak to Atlas about this tomorrow. Right before I fall asleep, I hear him softly whisper in my ear that he’s falling in love with me more and more each day.