22. ‘Atlas’
TWENTY-TWO
‘ATLAS’
The last week and a half has been terrible. First, the decision I made is eating me alive. I’ve second-guessed that moment in my life every minute of every day. I know they were the scum of the earth but me signing their death sentence, what does that make me? Then in one way or another each one of my boys is suffering from the actions of that day. My little guy is the worst. Taz offered for him to stay over this weekend and after Rebel and I talked about it, we figured it would be a good idea. Teddy seems to be an empath. Taz and Enforcer spoke to him to keep an eye on Thanos, which he promised he would. Stefanos won’t leave our sides. Well, that is Rebel’s. Since that night when they bonded, they are inseparable, which has Kon feeling like the third wheel as he’s always been Rebel’s shadow.
The Devil’s Handmaidens are in the process of doing the research on who those assholes were. Raven, with the help of Freak, has found a money trail leading to The Thunder Cloud Knuckle Brotherhood. We don’t know who their contact was because everything is encrypted. I don’t have a lot of knowledge with this kind of stuff, as I don’t break up human trafficking circuits. Rebel has been such a lifeline in this aspect for me. Also, she’s there when I wake in the middle of the night with night terrors. Rebel talked me into starting therapy, which I’m doing weekly at the Blue Sky Sanctuary, and am beginning to see the tiniest shimmer of light, though it’s so far in the tunnel I can barely see it.
Dad got out of the hospital first and we welcomed him into our home without any hesitation. He said that neither he nor my mom will ever enter their home again. That saddens me but I totally get it. He’s also in therapy because of what he witnessed when taken. He has so much guilt, he’s a ghost of the man he was. I swear he’s aged a good twenty years overnight. When Mom finally woke she didn’t want to see him, which I think broke his heart. Everyone got why she was acting that way, except her. It took visits from Tink, Taz, Vixen, Wildcat, Heartbreaker, and finally Shadow. They each spent time with my mom, telling her their stories, which every single one was raped at one period in their lives. I thought Mom would relate to Tink or Taz but, to my utter surprise, her new best friend—God help us all—is Shadow. She managed somehow to get my mom to let Dad come in one afternoon and since then they haven’t been separated from each other, except when she was in the hospital, they let Dad stay a few days but not every night.
Once they told Mom she was getting released, her stress got so bad that Shadow and Tink rushed to her room with options. Shadow offered my parents space at Panther’s stud ranch, while Tink offered them one of the cabins. Mom wanted to go with Shadow, while Dad picked Tink’s ranch. His reasoning won Mom over because it was closer to me and the boys. Mom does go about once every week and a half or so to spend time with Shadow and their animals. She’s in love with Panther’s two wolves Ma?iitsoh (Wolf) and Zh???ii (Raven). Yeah, and they are real wolves. I almost shit myself the first time I saw my mother on a lawn chair with the bigger one up on his hind legs, his upper torso on my mother, while—as she puts it—he gave her kisses. The female was lying at Mom’s feet. I screamed, jumping out of the car, running toward her until I was faced with two snarling wolves right in front of me. Thank God Avalanche was outside with his two wolves, coming back from the stables. Before he could say anything, I was facing off with four really pissed-off wolves. In a split second, he said something in his native language and they stopped snarling and approached me slowly. He told me to drop my arms down, hands open, which I did, and each one of the wolves sniffed me then moved on. When I looked at my mom, for the first time since all of this happened she was smiling hugely. Avalanche whistled and all four wolves walked to where he was. He raised his hand and said one word “guard” and they all went by Mom and laid down. Mouth open, I was shocked as he walked toward me.
“Never thought I’d say this to a person not Native, but maybe you should think about getting your mom some kind of hybrid wolf. She seems to have a connection with them. They have done so much for her spirit as she heals, brother.”
We walked back to Mom, who was taking turns scratching behind each of the wolves’ ears. I spent the day out there and was totally surprised at the size of their business. It just isn’t a stud ranch, they also rescue horses and donkeys from the slaughterhouses around here and as far as the Dakotas, Idaho, Wyoming, and even on occasion, Oregon and Utah. They added multiple barns and stables since Panther purchased it. As Avalanche showed me around, I was amazed at the amount of work and dedication it takes to run a business like this. If I remember correctly what Rebel told me, Tink talked Panther to taking his rescue business and making it a 501c3. It helped because both Panther and Avalanche are registered members of the Navajo tribe in New Mexico, and they are also veterans with military backgrounds. I asked Avalanche if it would be okay, if the boys wanted to, they could donate some time and help out around there. The big man enthusiastically said, “Hell yes.” Even as a man, I can see how my Rebel would lean toward this man. His gentleness, honesty, and soft-spoken ways draw you to him. I’m just glad he didn’t feel the same way. Rebel and I spoke about it and she said she was drawn to him because he was comfortable. And that she’s not the first sister to crush on Avalanche. Now I’m trying to figure out which one has their eyes on the big man.
So we have gotten into a schedule, sort of. During the week when I’m working, the boys, Rebel, and I stay at the house while my parents stay at their cabin on Tink’s ranch. On the weekends, we rotate from the Devil’s Handmaidens ranch to Panther’s ranch. It’s working and everyone is enjoying it, though Stefanos prefers to be at Taz and Enforcer’s place. From what Rebel has told me, my son is now Teddy’s best man for the wedding of Teddy and Olivia. No one knows when that will be taking place, but neither Taz nor Glory fight it.
Rebel and I are beyond good. I’ve never had such a deep relationship with any other woman in my life. She fulfills me while giving me what I need. As strong as she is, in our bedroom she gives up her control to me because I need it. And I make sure she never regrets that. She is the best thing to come into my life and I plan on treasuring her forever.
Today I’m in the office taking appointments. Next up is Tink and Noodles. As I go to walk into their room, I take a breath and open the door. Both turn to me and I walk over, giving Tink a kiss on the cheek and shaking Noodles’s hand. We all sit, Noodles and me in chairs while Tink is on the exam table. I turn the computer on and read my notes then turn to two pairs of expectant eyes. Wow, what a choice of words.
“All right, before we go over the results, have you made any decisions on Faith and Mercy? From what Rebel told me, Raven said no one has seen their parents in over four or five months, which makes perfect sense. As you both know, the girls don’t know how long they were held captive, though that timeline seems to correlate with the disappearance of their parents.”
I watch as Tink looks to Noodles with a very small, gentle smile. I know the answer just from that look. He nods and smiles back at her. Tink looks my way.
“Atlas, thanks for giving us the name of the person working the girls’ case. We’ve thought it through, and are now in the process of becoming foster parents first. Our caseworker, Juan, told us we’d have a better chance to adopt them if they were our foster kids. He said after the courts approve it, to wait maybe three to six months then put in a petition for adoption. So, yeah, we are taking the girls, if they let us.”
I’m beyond thrilled to hear that news but now need to go over the results of the most recent in vitro fertilization procedure (IVF). I know they’ve kept it close to the vest, so to speak, and part of me gets it, but part of me not so much. Don’t think Tink has even shared with Shadow, which seems strange, though not my business.
“Tink, Noodles, as you know this is our fourth IVF attempt. You only had three fertilized eggs remaining and elected to implant all of them. Have you taken a pregnancy test, Tink?”
She shakes her head while Noodles grabs her hand. I can see the results of the stress both have been under. Not sure this is going to help or make it worse.
“Well, as you know, we drew blood to see if you are pregnant. While we waited, I had an ultrasound performed too. The test is back and I’m beyond thrilled to inform you both that you are, in fact, pregnant.”
Watching them, it takes some time for it to penetrate. It surprises the shit out of me when Noodles is the one who bursts into tears, grabbing Tink, and putting his face into her neck. From above his head, Tink is watching me with a serene smile on her face. This has been so hard on her, especially since Squirt is actually her biological daughter from a rape when she was a teenager. Long story for a different time. She mouths, “Thank you” and I just nod. Standing, I leave to give them a moment, but Noodles has other ideas. He jumps out of the chair, picks me up, and swings me around. Now, fuck, talk about shock. I’m not a small guy and he lifted me like I’m the size of a child. Tink is laughing and crying, telling him to put me down, for Christ’s sake. I will say this appointment and news will always be one of my favorites because I know both of them and because of Tink and her club, my family is safe and recovering. I’m beyond thankful this IVF cycle worked out for them. They so deserve some happiness.