Chapter 37
LEVI
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
It’d been a long damn time since I’d been out on the ocean when my thoughts weren’t an echo chamber of grief and regret and self-blame. Being on the water—whether in my boat or the boat my mom taught me to sail on—always brought up too many memories to be anything but bittersweet.
While I loved sailing, loved the ocean, I loved those things because of my mom. And anytime I thought about her, it wasn’t the sound of her laughter or the feeling of one of her hugs or the sight of her smile when we caught the wind just right. It was the crushing guilt I carried for being the reason she was gone from this world, forever stuck in a loop on the night when everything changed. When I fucked up so many lives because I was callous and careless and fucking selfish.
Something I reminded myself of daily. For years, it had been my constant soundtrack as I sank deep into it, held it inside, and let it eat away at me. Never sharing it with a soul because I was the one responsible, and I deserved to feel every bit of this pain.
It was only now, as the salty ocean air blew against my face and the waves lapped at The Sparrow, that I realized those usual roars in the back of my mind had been quieted to a murmur lately. I knew it was more than likely just the temporary distraction provided by Harper’s presence back in my life.
And I also knew I didn’t deserve the reprieve. This was my cross to bear. The weight of carrying these thoughts the absolute least I could sacrifice in comparison to what my mom had given up.
“So…exactly how many awards have you won?” Harper’s question tugged me back to the present, and I forced my dark thoughts away to focus on her. Her eyes were full of mischief, a smirk on those gorgeous lips, and I loved that we were finally back to this place. Where we could laugh and tease and have fun with each other despite our history.
“You been Googling me now, sparrow?” I asked, a throwback to our first conversation in the apartment.
She lifted a single shoulder, bare except for the strap of her dress and that little tie at the base of her neck from her swimsuit. “Part of the job. Gotta do my research on a subject.”
“And what did your research tell you?”
“That you’re the youngest master craftsman ever inducted into the American Boatbuilders and Restorers Guild, you’ve designed and built over thirty-five custom boats, and you won Boatbuilder of the Year three times before you were thirty. How’d I do?”
I tipped my lips up, regarding her with amusement. I’d never once questioned whether she was good at her job. Of course she was. She was Harper Davidson, and I wasn’t sure she’d ever found anything she didn’t succeed at. But knowing it on a base level was entirely different from witnessing it.
“I think you pretty much hit all the highlights, so we’re probably done.”
She laughed, the sound bouncing off the water around us, and I smiled right along with her. “Nice try, but you’re not getting out of this.”
For the next thirty minutes, she peppered me with questions, each one thoughtful and insightful, pushing just enough to get what she needed without being intrusive. And the entire time, I had to sit here watching her and answering as intelligently as possible, all the while pretending I wasn’t hard as a fucking rock.
Watching her doing something she obviously loved only amped up my reaction to her. Of course, it didn’t help with how hot she looked, sitting across from me in full work mode. Her hair was pulled into a messy bun on top of her head, and she bounced the end of her pen against her bottom lip as she read over her notes. Add in that fucking swimsuit, the straps taunting me, and I was a goner. Every time I glanced at that bow at the back of her neck, I was reminded exactly how little effort it would take to have her tits in my face.
I shifted in my seat, attempting to get myself under control, but it was a losing battle. “Watching you work is sexy as hell.”
She tugged the pen from between her teeth and snapped her gaze to mine, a slow smile spreading across her mouth. “Your little distraction isn’t going to work. At least not until I get this idea down…”
Focusing on her notepad, she scribbled notes faster than the ideas would’ve even come to me. And all the while, I sat quietly, studying every inch of her and loving how I could practically see the ideas lighting up in her eyes. It was clear this was exactly what she was meant to be doing. Not being a lawyer like her father wanted. This, right here, talking with people, learning about their lives, and crafting their stories.
“You really love this, don’t you?” I asked.
“My job?” she clarified, not lifting her eyes from the notepad on her lap. “Yeah, I do.”
The sincerity in her answer left no doubt as to just how true it was, and it had me wondering what came next. I had no illusions that Starlight Cove could be what she needed—not with her career. The Gazette wasn’t exactly a shining example of international accreditation, which was exactly what she deserved.
“So…what are your plans after this assignment?” I asked as casually as I could, hoping to hide my selfish wants.
Because what I wanted didn’t matter.
I’d shoved her away twelve years ago so she could live the life she deserved. While it hadn’t been the life I’d thought she wanted, she’d done exactly what my hope had been. And though I’d learned my lesson and had no intention of doing something like that again, I also couldn’t live with myself if I held her back.
My sparrow had always been meant to fly, and I wasn’t going to clip her wings now.
So, I’d take whatever she was willing to give. If she wanted to do this long-distance, I would in a heartbeat. If she only wanted a hookup when she happened to come back into town, I’d handle it. If she wanted to go our separate ways, I’d find a way to deal.
Though I knew, on my end, it didn’t matter what she chose. There was no one else in the world for me, and I would always and forever be completely devoted to her and only her.
She shot me a smile, though it seemed a bit forced. “If I nail this article, hopefully there’s a permanent position waiting for me at Weekend Wanderlust.”
“Where will that take you?”
Clearing her throat, she averted her gaze, tapping her pen on the notepad. “Their office is in New York.”
Fuck me. Though I’d known her being here in Starlight Cove was temporary, it still cut deep to hear her confirm it. Especially knowing how little time we had left.
“New York, huh? Love that city life?”
“I thought I was the one asking questions.”
I raised a brow at her obvious avoidance of the question. “You just got me to talk for longer in a single sitting than I usually do in three days. I think you succeeded.”
She lifted a shoulder. “What can I say? I’m good at my job.”
“That you are.” I reached over and pressed the red button on her phone screen to stop the recording. “But I think we’ve done enough work for today.”
“Oh, you do, do you?” She relaxed back in her seat, a soft smile on her lips, this one genuine. “And what do you suggest we do for the rest of our time?”
I stood and grabbed the pen and notepad from her hand before tucking them and her phone back into her bag. Then I braced my hands on the table and leaned toward her. “It’s well past time we got you wet.”