28. Gabe
28
GABE
O n Monday morning, I stepped off the plane at O’Hare for the first time in months. I’d talked to Niya and Winston on Sunday, and they’d managed to get me an interview with BHT’s upper management for Monday afternoon. So for the first time in ages, I was flying home on a Monday morning to prepare, rather than out to a worksite.
Home. It felt strange calling Chicago that, after my months in Georgia. I’d sublet my apartment but I had friends I could crash with. It wasn’t that part that was throwing me off.
It was, when I got down to it, the lack of Brooklyn. If you’d opened up the mental dictionary of my brain, you’d see that someone had replaced the standard definition of ‘ home ’ with a new one: him.
And that was going to be hard to undo.
How long had it even taken me to fall in love with him, I wondered. How early had it started? The first time we’d had sex? That unexpectedly intense kiss at our wedding in Charlotte’s backyard? Or had it maybe even been the first night we’d met? I still blushed, thinking about it. That was going to be hard to undo, too.
But I would. Somehow. Because I had to. When everything sucked and there was nothing to do about that, you just had to put on your big boy pants and keep going. Somehow. Because the only alternative was staying stuck.
And I’d promised myself I’d never do that. I’d made that promise before I ever met Brooklyn. Right now, that promise was the only thing keeping me going.
So I was going to suck it up and move to Paris. Suck it up and try to find something good in each day. Even if it was just that each day hurt a little less than the one before.
At least, I hoped that was how it worked. I was only four days in, and so far, the days all felt equally awful. But it had to get better sometime, right?
Maybe today’s good thing was just the ability to keep pushing. To force myself forward. I could have locked myself in that bed and breakfast on Summersea until they broke down the door to find out what smelled like a dead body inside.
I could have stayed in Brooklyn’s apartment in Savannah and refused to leave, forcing him to evict me with a moving crew and forklift.
I could have sat on that bench on Chatham University’s campus until my muscles atrophied and enough birds pooped on me to coat me completely, sealing off my air-holes and leaving me looking like an old, drippy candle in a church.
But I hadn’t. I’d gotten up. I’d gotten out. And even though everything blew monkey balls, that had to count for something. That had to be building me up some karma points with the universe, points that I could cash in at the great karma ATM in the sky someday, and ask that my heart stop leaping into my throat every time I turned a corner, hoping to see—
“Brooklyn?”
I stopped dead in my tracks. He was there, standing in front of me with a nervous smile, at the arrivals gate in O’Hare.
At least, I thought he was there. What if I were dreaming again? God, I’d had too many of those dreams in the past few days, waking up aching because the arms that were holding me weren’t real.
“Are you—I mean, am I—” I stopped, closed my eyes, and shook my head, taking a deep breath before opening them again. He wasn’t still going to be there. He wasn’t actually standing in front of me. He wasn’t—except, he was . “Am I dreaming?”
“Oh God, Gabe.” He crossed the space between us, his body homing in on mine like a missile. I didn’t know what to do. I just stood there and let him wrap his arms around me. “Ouch!”
Brooklyn looked down at me in reproach, and I drew my fingers back from where I’d pinched his forearm.
“Just checking.” I stared at him in shock. “I guess you are real.”
“You’re supposed to pinch yourself if you think you’re dreaming, aren’t you? Not that I don’t deserve that. Gabe, I deserve that and more for what I put you through. I’m so sorry.”
“What are you doing here?” I looked up at him, still not quite able to take it in. “I was just thinking about you, just wondering if I’d ever see you again, and then—” I broke off and stared. “I thought you didn’t want to see me. I thought you didn’t want to be with me.”
“God, no.” Brooklyn’s arms hugged me tighter. “Gabe, I never should have—I can’t believe what I said. Everything about it was so wrong. I hate myself for saying it. I hated myself while I was saying it and I hated myself afterwards. I know I don’t have any right to ask you to forgive me, but if you think you ever could, I swear, I will work so hard, I will do whatever you want, whatever you need, to convince you, to show you, to show the whole world how important you are to me. I love you. I love you so much. Fuck, I probably should have led with that, but being around you makes my head spin, and I can’t think straight. I love you. And I’ll do anything it takes to win you back.”
“You…love me?” The words sounded strange to my ears, felt odd on my tongue. “Me? You’re sure?”
“Yes, you. Who else?”
“I don’t know. But a few days ago, you seemed pretty sure—”
“Gabe, a few days ago, I was so lost I didn’t know which way was up. I was so scared of what I felt, so scared of everything I couldn’t control, and I pushed you away when the only thing I needed to do was hold you close. Nothing else matters as long as I have you.”
“But, your job. Don’t you have to—”
“Fuck my job. I’m done with that. I’m done with everything. You want to move to Paris? I’m there with you. You want to stay in Chicago? I’ll be there in a heartbeat. You want to sail across the Pacific in a raft made of balsa wood and then use the scraps for snowshoes when we climb Mt. Everest? Let’s do it. Anything you want. As long as it’s with you.”
“What if…what if what I want is in Georgia?”
“Then fuck, let’s stay in Georgia. I can’t think of anything that would make me happier. As long as you’re happy.”
“I’ll be happy as long as I’m with you. I love you, Brooklyn.” I could feel tears welling up in my eyes again, and once again, I didn’t care. Brooklyn pulled me close, and at first, I thought he was kissing my cheek, until I realized he was whispering in my ear.
“You mean it? You’re not just saying that because you’re on camera? Because if you are, I totally get it, and I’m sorry about springing this on you without asking, but Aiden thought it would be a good idea, and I just—”
“We’re on camera?”
I pulled back. Not far enough to lean out of Brooklyn’s arms, just far enough to actually take in the rest of the people milling around the arrivals gate. Sure enough, there was a camera crew and a presenter from Stars Today standing about ten feet away, filming every word that Brooklyn and I had said to each other.
“You really pulled out all the stops, huh?” I smiled up at him. “You were that sure I was going to say yes?”
“Fuck no. But I hoped maybe if I made a big enough ass out of myself, you’d rewatch the segment in six months and change your mind. Because I would have waited, Gabe. You’re the best thing to ever happen to me, the best person I’ve ever known. I’d wait forever if you needed me to.”
“Excuse me, but if I remember correctly, you’re the one who was all about waiting. Speaking of which,” I leaned close and whispered the last few words into his ear, “is there any chance of getting out of here and back to Savannah before we die of old age? Because four days apart from you is more waiting than I ever want to do again.”
“I was hoping you’d say that. Otherwise, I’d be out six hundred dollars and two plane tickets.” Brooklyn smiled. “And, you know, because I love you. That too.”
The flight home was a blur. I was just happy to have Brooklyn back, happy to bury my face in his neck and snuggle up against him as we looked out the window and down at the clouds below. We were going home, but in a sense, I already was home. I was with Brooklyn. That was all that mattered.
I’d texted Niya before we even took off to ask her to cancel the interview—and to give my two weeks notice. I apologized, thanked her for everything, and promised to tell her more, soon. Then I turned off my phone. I didn’t plan on needing it for a while. I didn’t even plan on leaving the apartment, or letting Brooklyn leave, for at least twenty-four hours.
That’s what I’d told the interviewer from Stars Today , when she asked what our plans were. I’d even given a snarky little eyebrow wiggle to the camera—I had a feeling Aiden would be proud. Evidently, he’d still had the contact information for the show, and Brooklyn had convinced them that it was worth doing an interview on short notice, so they could get the dramatic reveal at the airport.
I hadn’t realized it, but our story really had taken off over the weekend. It was entirely possible that even my parents had heard about Brooklyn and me by now, and they weren’t the type to follow celebrity gossip. Then again, they also weren’t the type to approve of men marrying other men, so I doubted I’d hear from them, even if they had gotten wind of things.
Standing there at the arrivals gate, Brooklyn and I finally had a chance to tell the whole story to the presenter from Stars Today, and, presumably, to the world at large. We’d explained how we’d met at our best friends’ wedding, how we’d gotten married on what was essentially a dare, and how we hadn’t expected to fall for each other for real. How we’d been sure being married would be easy—and how it had turned out to be the hardest thing we’d ever done. The hardest, and the most worthwhile.
Of course, we didn’t explain everything to the interviewer. We kept back Tanner’s name, just saying that a ‘ friend ’ had bet us we couldn’t stay married for a full year. It rankled, calling Tanner that, but he seemed like the type who might get litigious if we mentioned him at all.
And while I thought about mentioning that I’d never been with a guy before Brooklyn, in the end, I decided to keep that to myself too. I could almost hear Aiden’s voice in my head, insisting that people would go crazy for that detail, but I didn’t want to cheapen what Brooklyn and I had, or make people think I was faking my feelings for the camera.
What I felt for Brooklyn was real, but I didn’t need the rest of the world weighing in and commenting. In fact, I was very much looking forward to the days when the public’s fascination with our relationship faded, and we went back to being boring, regular guys again. And the first step to that was coming home.
I dropped my bags on the floor just inside the front door when we got in and sighed.
“I hope I never see those bags again.” Brooklyn smiled at me as he took my hand and pushed them to the side with his foot. “I hope you never leave again.”
I laughed. “We can put them in the same unused corner of the apartment as the air mattress, so it can finally have some company. We’ll find it in like, five years, and they’ll have mated and made little airbag babies.”
I blanched for a second, realizing that I’d just suggested to Brooklyn that we’d still be together in five years, but he just grinned.
“I can’t wait.”
I took a step towards him, our toes touching, and put my arms around his neck. “I missed you. I missed you so much.”
“I’m so sorry I put you through that.” He pressed a kiss to my forehead as he wrapped his arms around my waist. “I can’t apologize enough, but I can promise that it’ll never happen again.”
“Well, if you’re getting tired of apologizing with your words, I suppose you could try doing it with your body.”
“I thought you’d never ask.” Brooklyn grinned at me as he swept one arm down to my legs, bent, and scooped me up. I yelped in surprise.
“Are you seriously carrying me to the bed? Not that I’m complaining, but for the record, this isn’t what I meant when I said ‘ apologize with your body .’”
“Shush. I never actually carried you across the threshold when we got married.”
“Yeah, because it would have been fucking weird, since you barely knew me.”
“So let me have this.”
I started laughing as soon as we made it into the bedroom.
“What?”
I pointed at the apron lying on top of his comforter.
“I know for a fact that I hung that up in the kitchen the last time I used it. So what, may I ask, is it doing back here?”
“Shut up.”
“Did you sleep with it or something?”
“I didn’t not sleep with it, if that’s what you’re asking.” Brooklyn’s face turned bright red, but he smiled as he looked down at me. “I missed you too, what can I say?”
“You can say that you’re going to fuck my brains out.”
“Oh, I can definitely say that.”
He set me on my feet gently, but there was nothing gentle about the way his hands tore at my clothes. I tried to keep up, but I kept getting distracted by the feel of his abs under my hands as I slipped them under his shirt, and he was still fully clothed by the time I was naked.
“Get on the bed,” Brooklyn growled, his hazel eyes burning with desire.
“With the apron or without?” I cocked an eyebrow. “Because if it’s a security blanket kind of thing now…”
“I’m sorry, did you want me to fuck your brains out, or did you just want to be a smart ass?”
“What, you’re done missing me already?” I took a step towards the door with a grin. “I could leave…”
“Don’t even think about it.”
He caught me in his arms and guided me towards the bed. I let him push me back onto the soft comforter, but stopped him with a hand when he began to climb on top of me.
“Nuh-uh, buddy. The bed is for naked people only. You’re wearing way too many clothes.”
“I can probably do something about that.” Brooklyn stripped his shirt off over his head while I leaned back on my elbows and watched. He laughed when his head popped free of the fabric. “Enjoying the show?”
“Definitely. Keep going.”
“You’d better have a bunch of one-dollar bills for me later. I don’t usually strip for free.”
“Ones?” I snorted. “Who do you think you’re talking to? I only use twenties.”
“I like your style.” He wiggled his hips as he unzipped his pants, then shimmied out of them, leaving the fabric in a heap on the floor.
“You’re gonna have to earn them though.” His erection was straining through his briefs, and I let my smile turn wicked as I stroked myself. His eyes went wide, and he abandoned any pretense of putting on a show, shucking his briefs in a hurry.
“Don’t worry,” he whispered as he crawled onto the bed, draping his body over mine, “I’ll put in the work. By the end of the night, you’ll be begging to pay me.”
He ran a hand through my hair as he ground his hips down onto mine, our cocks rubbing against each other. I was already leaking precum and I knew I didn’t have the patience for slow and steady tonight. I put my hand on Brooklyn’s chest, and he looked at me, his eyes curious.
“I’m in charge tonight,” I said with a smile. I pushed him off of me and over onto his back, then climbed on top of him to straddle his hips. “And I’m not in the mood to wait.”
I ground down onto him as I stroked our cocks together. His eyes grew wide, his pupils dilated, and he grabbed my ass, his strong fingers clutching me. I got the lube from the drawer and took his hand, squirting some onto his fingers before guiding him to grip our cocks.
“That’s your job, now,” I whispered as I squeezed lube onto my fingers. “I’m going to be otherwise occupied.
His eyes went even wider as I tilted my hips and put my left hand down onto his chest for balance. I brought my right hand back to my ass and, finding my hole, slipped one finger inside.
“Fuck,” I whispered as I felt it go in. I pushed it in as far as I could and let the waves of pleasure I felt show on my face. “Oh fuck, yes.”
I was so hard, so desperate for him to be inside me, but I knew I needed to prepare. I thrust up and down on my finger and moaned each time it pressed into me.
“Fuck, Gabe,” Brooklyn breathed. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything sexier than you right now.”
“Yeah?” I grinned down at him. “You like that?”
He nodded, licking his lips, and I moaned audibly as I added a second finger, sliding it inside and then rocking back onto it. His fingers dug into my hip, and his strokes grew ragged.
“It feels so good. But not even close to how good it’s gonna feel to take your cock again. God, I need it. I need you now.”
“Take your time. There’s no rush.”
“Fuck taking my time. It’s been four fucking days—the worst four days of my life. I’m ready. I’ve been ready.”
I slid my fingers out and shifted up onto my knees. Brooklyn gasped when I grabbed his cock and brought it to my entrance, and his eyes fluttered shut when I sank down onto him, letting his cock penetrate me in one long thrust. I groaned as it shot into me, sensations unfurling across my body.
“Are you okay?” His eyes were open in a flash, gazing up at me in concern. “Is it too much?”
“I’m fucking fantastic.”
Sure, it was a little tight. I hadn’t prepped that much, but it felt so goddamn good to have him back inside me that it didn’t matter. I lifted my hips up, then pushed back down onto him as he stroked my cock.
“I missed this. I missed you.”
“I missed you too, baby.” Brooklyn’s voice sounded scratchy, and when I looked down, I could see tears in his eyes.
“Don’t you fucking cry.” I grimaced. “If you cry, then I’m going to cry, and then you’re not gonna wanna fuck me if I have snot running down my face, and I really, really need you to fuck me right now. Sex first, emotions later.”
He laughed, and his body convulsed, sending a wave of motion into me.
“Fuck that feels good,” I moaned. “Do that again.”
He pumped his hips up, this time bending his knees and putting his feet flat on the bed, using his legs for leverage. The extra force rocketed through me as I rode his cock. A sound I didn’t even recognize ripped out of my throat.
“Holy fuck,” I cried. “Fuck yes. Harder.”
Brooklyn drove into me again, his movements fierce and fast. He stroked my cock in time with his thrusts, and I let the sensations take me over, flooding my senses. I’d needed this more than I’d known, needed the release that could only come from being in his arms once more.
“Fuck, I’m gonna—I’m gonna—fuck—”
It was too much. My body was on overload, every nerve ending lit up, sparking inside me. I looked down at him, the pleasure in his eyes visible.
“Come for me,” he growled.
I couldn’t have stopped it if I’d tried.
“Brooklyn,” I whispered as my orgasm overtook me, rocking through my body from my core and spilling out of me. All I could say was his name, all I could feel was him.
His eyes grew huge, widening and then fluttering shut. His face contracted with pleasure as he came, pouring into me. It felt right, perfect, to know I was safe in his hands, back in his arms, and loved.
I crashed down onto him, my arms falling to either side of his face as my lips pressed to his. His tongue tasted sweet, his lips parting to let me inside.
“Promise me we can stay like this,” I whispered. “Promise me we get to keep this.”
He smiled up at me. “We get to keep this. I promise. You can keep me forever if you want.”
“I do.” I smiled right back. “I do.”
Brooklyn wrapped his arms around me tighter, and I knew I was home.