Chapter 8 Daisy
I waited until Cal's light went off at ten thirty.
Then I waited another fifteen minutes, lying in bed fully clothed, heart pounding, staring at the ceiling. When I couldn't stand it anymore, I slipped out of my room, down the stairs, and out the back door into the cool mountain night.
The overlook was a twenty-minute hike from Cal's cabin. I knew the trail by heart, even in the dark. I'd walked it a hundred times that summer, sneaking out after midnight to meet Knox at our spot, drunk on secrecy and the thrill of doing something I shouldn't.
Tonight felt different though. Heavier. Like I was walking toward something that would change everything.
The trail broke through the trees, and the overlook spread out before me. A rocky outcropping that jutted over the valley, the entire town of Hollow Peak glittering below like scattered diamonds. The sky was clear, stars thick enough to touch, the Milky Way a bright smear across the darkness.
Knox was sitting on the flat rock at the edge of the overlook, knees drawn up, staring out at the valley. He turned when he heard my footsteps, and even in the starlight I could see the tension in his shoulders and the set of his jaw.
I crossed the rock and sat beside him, close enough that our shoulders almost touched. The valley spread out below us, peaceful and still, completely unaware of the storm about to break on this ledge.
"I've spent eight years not knowing," I said. "I'm ready to know the truth."
Knox was quiet for a long moment. When he spoke, his voice sounded tired. Resigned that this was it.
"The night before you left. The night I was supposed to meet you here." He paused, and I watched him gather himself. "Cal came to see me that afternoon."
My heart stopped. "Cal?"
"He knew about us. Someone had seen us at the lake, and word got back to him." Knox's hands clenched on his knees. "He showed up at my place with an offer. To stay away from you and disappear from your life completely, or he'd make sure I went to prison."
I jolted slightly. This was not what I expected. "What?"
"There was a fight, the year before. Guy pressed charges, then dropped them. Cal said he could bring them back. Add things. Make it so I'd never get out from under it." Knox's voice was flat, reciting facts. "But that's not why I walked away."
"Then why?"
He turned to look at me. In the starlight, his eyes were dark and full of old pain.
"Because he was right." The words came out broken. "About me. I didn’t care if I went to prison Daisy. He could see that wasn’t going to work on me. He then said something that did make me realize I wasn’t good for you.
About what I'd cost you. What staying with me could cost you.
You had a future, Daisy. College, career, a life that didn't involve this town or the guy everyone expected to end up in prison.
And he knew, he knew, that if I asked you to stay, you would. You'd throw it all away for me."
Tears burned my eyes. I couldn't speak.
"So I let you go." His voice cracked. "I watched you wait for me, right here, on this rock. I was parked down the road, close enough to see your car, and I watched you wait. And I didn't come. Because I loved you too much to ruin your life."
The tears spilled over. I pressed my hand to my mouth, trying to hold back the sob building in my chest.
"You should have told me." The words came out ragged. "You should have let me choose."
"I know." He reached for me, then stopped, hand hovering in the air between us. "I know that now. I've known it for eight years. But back then, I was twenty-one and stupid and so goddamn sure that I was saving you from the biggest mistake of your life. Me."
"The biggest mistake of my life was believing you didn't want me.
" I grabbed his hand, held it tight. "I spent eight years thinking I'd imagined everything between us. It screwed me up Knox. Totally. That’s why I settled for a man who made me feel small because at least he showed up.
At least he wanted me, even if he made me hate myself for it, and look where that got me. Back here and still broken."
Knox's expression shattered. "Daisy."
"No." I pulled my hand free and stood up. I needed distance to process, to think, to breathe. "Cal did this. He manipulated both of us. He decided what was best for me without asking, and you let him."
"I was trying to protect you."
"I didn't need protection!" The words exploded out of me, echoing off the rocks. "I needed you. I needed the truth. I needed a chance to make my own choice instead of having two men decide my future for me."
Knox stood too and faced me across the narrow space.
"You're right," he said quietly. "You're right about all of it. I made the wrong choice. I've spent every day since then trying to become someone who deserves a second chance, even though I knew I'd probably never get one."
"Why?" I demanded. "Why bother, if you thought we were over?"
"Because even if you never came back, even if you married someone else and had a life that had nothing to do with me, I wanted to be worthy of what we had." He stepped closer, and I could see his hands shaking. "I wanted to be the man you believed I could be, even if you never knew."
God. This man. This impossible, infuriating, heartbreaking man.
"I'm furious at you," I said.
"I know."
"I'm furious at Cal."
"You have every right to be."
"And I'm furious at myself." My voice broke. "For believing the worst. For not fighting harder. For settling for less than I deserved because I thought the man I wanted didn't want me back."
Knox closed the distance between us. His hands came up to cup my face, thumbs brushing the tears from my cheeks.
"I wanted you," he said fiercely. "I have never stopped wanting you. Not for one second in eight years. You are the only thing I've ever wanted that I couldn't have, and losing you broke something in me that I've never been able to fix."
I’d had enough. I was angry at everything that lead me here, and at the person standing in front of me, offering himself to me, when he was the one who started me feeling like this eight years ago.
I was furious and wanted to lash out at him. Instead, I kissed him.
I grabbed his shirt and pulled him down to me, and I kissed him with eight years of anger and hurt and desperate, aching and want.
He groaned against my mouth and kissed me back, one hand sliding into my hair, the other wrapping around my waist and pulling me flush against him. I could feel the heat of his body through our clothes, the hard planes of his chest, the evidence of his want pressing against my hip.
"Daisy." He pulled back enough to breathe, his forehead against mine. "We should slow down."
"No."
"You're upset. You're processing. I don't want you to regret this."
I pulled back and met his eyes. "I've been processing for eight years. I've regretted every day that I didn't have you. I'm done waiting, Knox. I'm done being careful. I want you. Right here. Right now. On this rock where everything started."
That was all it took for his control to snap.
He lifted me like I weighed nothing, and I wrapped my legs around his waist as he carried me to the flat part of the rock. He laid me down on the cool stone, his body covering mine, his mouth finding my neck, my collarbone, the swell of my breasts above my shirt.
"Tell me if you want to stop," he murmured against my skin. "At any point. Tell me and I will."
"I don't want to stop." I arched into him, pulling his shirt up and over his head. "I want everything."
He groaned and kissed me again, deeper this time, his tongue sliding against mine while his hands found the hem of my shirt. He pulled it off in one smooth motion, then sat back to look at me.
"God." His eyes roamed over me, as I lay out before him. "You're even more beautiful than I remembered."
The old insecurities tried to surface. Garrett's voice in my head, telling me I'd gained weight, telling me I needed to try harder. I pushed them down.
Knox wasn't Garrett. Knox was looking at me like I was something precious and something worth waiting eight years for.
"Touch me," I said.
He did. His hands traced my curves, my stomach, the swell of my hips. He unhooked my bra and tossed it aside, then lowered his mouth to my breast, tongue circling my nipple before pulling it between his lips.
I gasped, my back arching off the rock.
"I've dreamed about this." He moved to my other breast, giving it the same attention. "Every night for eight years. I dreamed about the sounds you make. The way you taste. The way you feel under my hands."
His hand slid lower, unbuttoning my jeans, slipping inside. When his fingers found me, I cried out, grabbing his shoulders, holding on.
"So wet." His voice was dark, satisfied. "So perfect Daisy."
I could barely form words as I mumbled something about less words and more action.
He groaned and kissed me hard, his fingers working me with a skill that made my head spin. He knew my body. Even after all these years, he remembered exactly how to touch me, where to press and how to build the pleasure until I was shaking with it.
"I need you," I gasped. "Inside me. Now."
He pulled back long enough to strip off the rest of our clothes. I watched him in the starlight, drinking in the sight of him. Broad shoulders, hard stomach, the V of muscle at his hips.
He reached into his wallet and grab a condom, rolled it on and settled between my thighs, bracing himself above me.
A small part of me was angry that he carried protection around with him. That other women had touched him and saw him like this also, but then our eyes met, and I remembered that he was mine again now. At least for these few moments.
"I still love you," he said quietly, putting every unease at rest. "I never stopped."
Tears pricked my eyes again, but these weren't sad. "Show me."
He pushed inside me in one slow, devastating stroke.
I gasped, my body stretching to accommodate him, the fullness overwhelming. He stilled, giving me time to adjust, his arms trembling with the effort of holding back.
"You okay?" he asked through gritted teeth.
"No." I wrapped my legs around his waist, pulling him deeper. "I need you to move."
He chuckled against my neck as he finally moved.
Slow at first, long strokes that made me feel every inch of him. Then faster, harder, as the need built between us. I met him thrust for thrust, my nails digging into his back, as I started to chant his name, god’s name and every other thing that came to my mind that I wanted him to do.
"That's it," he growled against my neck. "Let me hear you. I've waited eight years to hear you say my name like that."
"Knox." I was falling apart, pleasure building at the base of my spine. "Don't stop. Please don't stop."
He shifted angle, hitting a spot that made me see stars. "I'm never letting you go again, Daisy."
The orgasm hit me, roaring through my body, making me cry out his name as I broke under him. He followed seconds later, burying himself deep, groaning my name against my throat as he came.
We lay there in the aftermath, tangled together on the cool rock, breathing hard, staring up at the endless stars. His weight on top of me felt solid and real after years of drifting.
"Well," I said finally, when I could form words again. "That was worth waiting for."
He laughed, a low rumble against my chest. "Eight years of waiting. Had to make it count."
I smiled. Then the smile faded as reality crept back in.
"I still have to talk to Cal."
Knox lifted his head, looking down at me. "I know."
"I'm furious at him. For what he did to us. For making choices that weren't his to make."
"He had a good reason though Daisy."
I sighed, as I pushed against Know slightly to let me up more. "I know. And he’s family. The only family I have left."
"He was trying to protect you. In his own misguided way.
" Knox's voice was quiet. "I've had eight years to hate him, and somewhere along the way, I realized I couldn't. Because I understood why he did it.
He loved you. He wanted better for you than a twenty-one-year-old with a record and no future. "
"That wasn't his call to make."
"No. It wasn't." He kissed my forehead. "But he made it anyway, and here we are. The question is what happens next."
I looked up at the stars, thinking about everything I'd learned tonight. About Cal's ultimatum. About Knox's sacrifice. About all the years we'd lost to silence and secrets and misplaced protection.
"I choose you," I said. "Whatever happens with Cal, whatever comes next, I choose you. I should have chosen you eight years ago, and I'm not making that mistake again."
Knox's eyes went soft. He kissed me, slow and deep, and I let myself sink into it. Into him. Into the future that had finally, impossibly, opened up before us.
We stayed on that rock until the cold became unbearable, then gathered our clothes and walked back down the trail hand in hand. At the edge of Cal's property, he pulled me into one last kiss.
"Tomorrow," he said against my lips. "You deal with Cal. I'll be here when you're ready."
"And if he doesn't accept this?"
"Then he doesn't accept it. But I'm not walking away again." His hands tightened on my waist. "Not ever."
I believed him.
For the first time in eight years, I let myself believe.