Chapter 18
Luke
Snow crunches under my boots as I cross the pasture to the barn.
The sky’s still dark and the air whipping around us is the kind of cold that gets in your lungs and reminds you you’re alive.
Jack’s truck is already parked out front, his breath fogging the air as he loads a bale of hay.
Nicholas is right behind him, loading up fencing supplies from the back of my shed like he owns the place.
“Morning, sunshine,” Jack says with a mock salute. “Sleep at all?”
I grunt in response. Jack smirks, because he knows me too well. Nicholas gives me a look and hands over a thermos of black coffee. “You look like a man who needs this more than we do.”
“Appreciate it,” I mutter, taking a long sip. “And I appreciate the help today. This eight reindeer rental at North Star Lodge is really throwing a wrench in my usual Christmas Eve deliveries.”
“Yeah,” Jack says. “But it’s for a good cause.”
I snort. “The festival is hardly a good cause these days.”
A smirk twitches at the corner of Jack’s mouth. “I meant Eve.”
The heat from my sip of coffee burns my throat, grounding me in the here and now.
Today’s the final big event of the Christmas Festival.
Reindeer deliveries. Santa setups. Lights, cocoa, kids screaming with sticky hands and holiday cheer.
Even though I don’t love it, it’s normally, it’s chaos I can handle. This year? Not so much.
Because Eve’s in the middle of it. And I’m still trying to figure out if she’s leaving.
“She say anything yet?” Nicholas asks, throwing a glance at me while he loads the salt blocks onto the trailer.
“Nope.”
Jack wipes his hands on his jeans and they each follow me across the farm into the barn to start prepping the reindeer to be loaded into the trailers. “Maybe she’s waiting for the right time.”
“Or maybe she’s already decided, and she’s just trying to figure out how to say goodbye.” The words taste like ash in my mouth.
Jack and Nicholas exchange a look, the kind that says here we go again.
“You know,” Jack starts, “most people would consider winning the town’s gingerbread contest, Caroloke, and a public makeout session beneath a twelve-foot tree some kind of sign that she might be looking to stay. To settle down finally. I’d say you’ve got this in the bag.”
I grunt, but don’t dare to look at either of my best friends. “She’s not a prize to win.”
“No,” Nicholas says, serious now. “But you’ve got feelings for her. And she’s clearly got ‘em for you too. So why are you just letting her go without a fight?”
“Because I don’t want to be the reason she stays and then ends up hating this place,” I snap. “Or worse—hating me.” I don’t know how many different ways I can explain this to people.
Silence stretches between us. Only the sound of hooves and the low shuffle of reindeer breaks it. I turn to check the harness on Prancer, tightening it before she can wiggle out like last time.
Jack finally speaks. “So what, you’re just gonna let her figure it out on her own?”
“Yes,” I grit. “She needs to decide. I’m not gonna guilt her into it.”
“Telling her how you feel isn’t exactly guilting her into anything. It’s actually just making sure she has all the facts.”
“Besides, what about you?” Nicholas asks. “Doesn’t it matter what you want?”
I hesitate. “Of course I want her here. With me. At the farm. In Holly Ridge. But only if it’s what she wants.”
Before they can dig deeper, the barn door creaks open and Aunt May steps inside, bundled in three scarves and carrying a basket of muffins like it’s an extension of her soul.
“You boys haven’t eaten,” she chides, setting the basket on the workbench. “Take a quick muffin break and don’t you dare argue with me.”
Jack raises a hand in surrender. “Wouldn’t dream of it, Miss May.”
“And you.” Aunt May shoots me a knowing look. “You look like you haven’t slept in a week.”
“I’m fine.”
“You’re full of it,” she says, peeling off her gloves. “But I brought backup.”
I jerk my thumb at Jack and Nicholas. “Already got it. You go back inside and warm up.”
She raises an eyebrow. “I wasn’t offering to wrestle reindeer, smart mouth. I came to talk.” Then, she glances at the guys. “Mind giving us a minute?”
Jack whistles as he claps Nicholas on the shoulder. “Come on. Let’s go pretend we know what we’re doing with Cupid and Comet.”
When they’re gone, Aunt May leans against the stall, folding her arms. “So. Are you going to tell me why you’re sulking like a dog left out in the snow?”
I could lie. But Aunt May would see right through that. Instead, I admit with a sigh, “Eve got offered her dream job. In LA.”
“I heard.” She picks at a thread on her mitten. “And… you’re mad about that?”
“No. I’m mad she didn’t tell me.”
“Are you mad because she didn’t tell you… or because you think she’s leaving?”
Both. All of it. I press my hands into my pockets. “She claims she wasn’t planning on taking it. But I heard it from Mrs. Garcia first. Then Gemma. Then half the town. I heard it from every damn person but Eve.”
“Well, maybe that’s because this town gossips like a bunch of howler monkeys. Or maybe it’s because she was afraid telling you would make you run for the hills, pick a fight and go radio silent on her.”
When I dare glance to my left, Aunt May raises a knowing eyebrow at me. “Sometimes people avoid the truth not because they’re trying to lie… but because they don’t want to see the hurt on a loved one's face.”
I don’t answer. I just lean back against the stall, watching Blitzen flick her ears in annoyance at the early morning bustle.
“She’s good for you,” Aunt May says after a moment. “Brings out your soft parts. The ones you try to hide.”
“I don’t want her to give up everything for me.
I don’t want her to wake up one day and realize she made a huge mistake by staying in this town.
Life isn’t one of the saccharine Christmas movies she produces.
And once the tinsel comes down and all the Christmas decorations are packed up, Holly Ridge is just another small, boring town tucked away in the mountains. ”
“Well… what happens if she stays and doesn’t regret it? What happens if you both, God forbid, find happiness?” Aunt May asks.
I grunt and clip a harness onto Blitzen and Princess Sparkles. “Seems unlikely.”
“Fine,” Aunt May huffs, tossing her hands into the air. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe she will wake up one day and regret staying. But sweetheart, that’s not something you get to control. That’s the risk we all take when we love someone. You don’t get to write their ending.”
I swallow hard. “I just… I can’t be the reason she resents her life.”
“And what if she wants to change her life? What if the job in LA is just a stepping stone to something else, and this—you—is what she’s actually been working toward all along?”
“You’re not hearing me! I don’t want her to stay out of guilt.”
“Trust her that if she stays it’s because she wants to,” Aunt May says gently. “But you have to ask yourself something, Luke. Are you really afraid she’ll resent you… or are you afraid she’ll turn into you. Maybe you resent her a little because she had and has the chance to leave.”
I flinch.
Bingo. Straight shot right to the heart.
“You’ve always felt a little stuck,” she continues, soft now. “You think I don’t know that? You had to take over the farm after your dad passed. All this?” She gestures around the barn. “This was never your dream.”
“I never knew what my dream was. This was as good as any.”
“You were so young when you took over for your dad, that you never dared to let yourself dream any bigger. And I appreciate you. I’ve loved having you here with me these last several years.
But your happiness means more to me than this farm.
I love you, Luke. We can find a way to survive without the farm.
We can sell it. Or hire more help so that you can travel more. See the world.”
I scoff at her optimism. Hiring help means training them. Trusting the lives of dozens of livestock in the hands of someone who isn’t family.
Her hand grips my elbow, giving it a squeeze. “You buried your dreams. But that doesn’t mean you can’t make new ones with Eve. Together.”
I stare at her. “You think I’m projecting?”
“I think you’re scared.” She smiles sadly. “But I also think you love her enough to let her go. So I’m just here to ask you… do you love her enough to try and build something new with her instead?”
The door creaks open again, wind swirling in around Nicholas.
“Cupid’s getting antsy,” he calls. “Are we ready to load the rest of these guys and get a move on?”
I nod once and start toward the trucks.
But Aunt May’s words stay with me, echoing louder than the hoofbeats behind me.
What if the life I built out of obligation… could be rebuilt into something better?
Something real?
Something ours?
Maybe it’s time to stop bracing for goodbye. Maybe I don’t even have to say, Stay with me.
Maybe… it’s time for both of us to dream bigger and see if our dreams lead down the same path.
Maybe after all these years, Eve and Luke can finally get their chance at a life together.