Chapter 28
Zoe
Riggs lags behind as Indira and I move through the house, discussing changes to make this place feel less ‘bachelor pad’ and more ‘married couple’ in décor and style. I have a lot of ideas, but I’m nervous about spending too much money. Riggs keeps reassuring me there’s no ask too big, but that doesn’t make spending his money any easier.
By the time Indira leaves, I have a list of places to visit for tile samples and fixtures. She also left me with a huge ring of paint colors to look at between now and the next time we meet. It’s a little overwhelming to think of doing the entire house, so for now, we’re just focusing on the primary bedroom and bathroom.
“Do you want to go to the tile store now?” Riggs asks as he closes the door behind Indira. It’s hard for me to read his face. Does he want to go now?
“Is that okay? You don’t need to go to Titan today?”
“Not until this afternoon when you pick up Avery from school.”
“Um, okay.”
He places his hands on my hips, pulling my chest flush with his. “Why do I sense some hesitation?”
“Are you sure you want to remodel so soon? What if. . ?” I trail off, unable to ask what I really want to because I’m afraid of the answer. What if you decide our marriage isn’t working? Won’t you regret letting me change everything?
He kisses me gently, pulling away with a smile on his face. “Don’t even think it. You’re stuck with me now.”
I turn my head to the side, resting against his chest, fighting the tears that sting my eyes. Everything seems so perfect, but my life was perfect once before. I can’t help but worry that everything will come crashing down around me once again. Only this time, I don’t know how I’ll survive.
Riggs threads his fingers through mine as we walk around the tile store, looking for what we want. He prefers minimalist décor, but I like more glitz and glam. I’m trying to find a way to blend our different styles, so we end up with something we both like. It’s hard because anything I point to, Riggs says he likes. I know for sure he’s letting me have my way when I point at orange tiles for the shower wall. There’s no way a guy with a bland gray house wants orange covering his bathroom.
“What do you like?” I ask, dropping his hand in frustration.
“I told you, baby. I like whatever you like.”
I roll my eyes. “Please, you hate this orange.”
“It’s a shower. You could cover the walls with unicorns pooping rainbows, and I wouldn’t care. I just want to keep the shower heads I’ve already got.”
I let out a frustrated huff. “I don’t want to make it a space you don’t like.”
“As long as I get to press you against the tile and slide my cock inside you, I don’t care what it looks like. You’re the only non-negotiable. If you’re not in my house, I don’t want to live there.”
It’s official. I’m a gooey puddle, melting on the floor. “I love you.” I wrap my arms around him.
He chuckles, stroking my hair. “You better. Now, let’s pick our new tiles so we can eat lunch before we have to go to work.”
It’s not until we’ve separated, and I’m moving down the aisle that I realize for all the sweet things Riggs has told me, he’s never once told me he loves me. Just now, when I said it, he didn’t say it back.
Suddenly, I don’t feel as secure as I did when I was in his arms. Why hasn’t he told me he loves me? Does he not feel the same way?