Chapter 5 #2
Hector had been right—being on the list was embarrassing.
I’d always thought that I flew under the radar at Brentwood High, or at least as far under the radar as one could with Landon Settler as their brother.
But as the day passed, I caught more and more people staring at me, whispering, giggling, and I’d never felt more self-conscious in my life.
At the end of the school day, I found a piece of paper taped to the front of my locker, and the words were written in big, fat letters for all to see.
Most Likely To: Stay A Prude
Gemma Settler
It looked like boyish handwriting, all blocky and uneven, and I tried to imagine who would’ve been behind the scrawl. My fingers curled into fists.
I’m not a prude, I thought as I stared at the words. I’m not shy. I’m not codependent.
But, a small voice would whisper in response, you do everything with your parents.
Which…yeah. I’ve lived my whole life in a box my parents made. Let my parents dictate what I did and who I did it with. Let them control every aspect of my life, even down to Mom picking out my outfits in the morning. The textbook definition of the perfect daughter.
My whole life, I’d been raised thinking that it was a good thing—and now I was a laughingstock because of it.
I didn’t want to be a prude. I didn’t want to be shy.
I didn’t want to be codependent, or any of those other negative things that labeled me like the nutrition facts on a can of soup.
The label fit the girl who settled under her parents’ rules without question.
It fit the girl who let her mother dress her and do her hair every morning.
It fit the girl who wasn’t allowed to get her driver’s permit and didn’t push back about it.
I didn’t want to be her anymore. I wanted to be a new Gemma.
Suddenly, a hand with two rings on its middle finger came up and tore the paper from my locker. I turned toward the rapid sound of crinkling paper to find Hudson materializing behind me, crumpling it into a ball.
His sudden presence was more surprising than anything else, mostly because my brain was trying to make sense of the sight of him. He was dressed in the doom-and-gloom attire, and his expression was neutral, as if he hadn’t just moved. The only indication that he had was the paper ball in his hand.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, impressed by how steady my voice sounded.
“I came to see if you told Principal Oliphant that this was off yet.” He raised a blond eyebrow, hooking his thumb around his backpack strap. “We were supposed to meet today, remember? For the buddy thing?”
Right. The mentoring. The thing that’d been occupying my thoughts all weekend. Funny—since lunch, I’d forgotten all about the speech I prepared for Principal Oliphant. Ironically, the Grim Reaper hadn’t been my most pressing concern.
The sophomore hallway at this point was mostly cleared out, so the last few students caught my attention.
A girl with glasses and a neon orange backpack hurried down the hallway, her gaze fixed ahead of her, lips pressed in a line.
Was she on the list? What about the boy across the hall, rubbing his hand down his cheek with a sigh? Was he on the list?
Prude. Shy. Embarrassed.
Grow a backbone, Sophomore.
And that was when I made the first impulsive decision of my life.
“No,” I told Hudson, turning to hold his glare. It was weird how much brighter his eyes seemed now than they had a few weeks ago. The brilliant blue looked like someone had photo-edited the irises, so electric against his dark lashes. “We are meeting. Right now.”
Hello, New Gemma.
I saw his features twist into a scowl before I turned around and unlocked my locker, gathering my things at supersonic speed. “Why?”
My heart fluttered in my throat like a little butterfly had gotten trapped there, and I swallowed against the pressure. “Because,” I said as I slammed my locker shut, and then, without another word, I turned on my heel.
And I didn’t get one step down the hallway before Hudson grabbed my arm, hauling me back. His grip wasn’t painful, but it was too tight to break free from. “I told you.” His voice was low and sharp. “I don’t need a mentor.”
“Last I heard, you didn’t have a choice.”
I’d be a little proud of myself for sounding so bold if I wasn’t about to pass out.
He let out a disbelieving chuckle and looked down the hallway, debating. It was clear on his face. Do I change her mind with civility or with violence? There was no running away with his hold on my arm. I held perfectly still, hoping that whatever he decided to do, it wouldn’t be painful.
Hudson dropped my arm, flicking his eyes to the side. “Lead the way, then, Sophomore.”
I booked it away from him before he had a second to change his mind.
As I walked down the hallway, trying to shake the whole encounter off—and not think about how easily his hand wrapped around my arm—I knew one thing was for sure.
If I was going to do this, I couldn’t let him terrify me that much.
I couldn’t let him win. If I was agreeing to this buddy thing, I had to hold out until the end.
The steady clomp-clomp of his gait following behind me already hinted that the score was Gemma 1, Grim Reaper 0.
Hudson was wrong—I wasn’t going to let Principal Oliphant force me into a decision, and I wasn’t going to beg for my mom to get me out of this. I was going to face this head-on. I was going to do something crazy. Like Morgan said, I was going to live a little.
The office for the guidance counselor was in the same hallway as the main office, but a few doors down.
Ms. Murphy’s door was propped open when we came to it, and the petite brunette woman was sitting behind her desk.
Her office itself was small—more like a large closet than an office—but she’d done wonders decorating it with pastel pinks and bright yellows.
There was a foldable card table set up in the corner of the room, offering enough space for two chairs pulled up to it.
She looked up when we walked into the doorway, her face splitting into a smile. “Gemma, Hudson,” she greeted, pushing to her feet. “Oh, I’m so happy you’re here.”
I’d never personally met with Ms. Murphy, but it made sense that she’d be expecting us. Knowing she’d be here too took away some of my nerves. “Hi.”
“I went ahead and set up the table for you two to do your homework at,” she said, gesturing at the card table. “The library would’ve been much more comfortable, but…well.”
“You’re afraid of unleashing me on the public,” Hudson answered from behind me, his voice sounding way too close over my shoulder. He propped his elbow on the doorframe above my ear, leaning closer. “Because me in a library full of burnable books is a safety hazard, right?”
“We’re minimizing your opportunities to cause trouble,” Ms. Murphy replied, but her voice was warm and soft, not the scolding tone Principal Oliphant had wielded last week. She looked at me. “Plus, this gives you both a quieter space to work.”
I wasn’t sure if she knew Principal Oliphant was trying to keep this a secret or not, but she was definitely on board.
This time, Hudson replied by sighing. The breath tickled the back of my neck, causing me to shiver.
Ms. Murphy moved from behind her desk and smoothed her hand down her navy blazer, picking up a folder from the table. “Well, I’ll leave you two to it. The door will lock behind me, so no one should stumble in.”
Whoa, wait, wait—did I hear her right? “You’re leaving?” I demanded, feeling the urge to spread my arms out in the doorway and forbid her from taking a step. “With the door locked?”
“It won’t lock from the inside.” She patted my shoulder, edging past me. “I’ll see you two in an hour.”
I turned around to gape at her, realizing just how close Hudson stood.
Which was way too close. Close enough that I could see each of his individual lashes when I looked up.
Hudson gave her a two-finger salute as Ms. Murphy walked away from us, and then swiveled that electric gaze down onto mine. “Are you going to move?” he asked.
I took a very large step away from him, cornering myself in the small room. Despite all the cheery colors, I felt one thousand percent claustrophobic.
Especially when Hudson came deeper into the room, shutting the heavy door behind him with a terrifying thud. It was him and me now. Only him and me. No one was going to be coming in, and he was fully blocking all chances of my exit.
A slow, wicked smile stretched across his mouth. “Regretting it?”
Yes. Very.
And then I mentally shook my head and told myself to get a grip. Showing fear wasn’t going to get me anywhere. Just pretend he’s Bridge Boy.
Stiffening my spine, I turned around and made my way to the card table, pulling out a rickety chair and sitting down.
Hudson sat across from me, lounging into the seat much like he had in Principal Oliphant’s office.
With his arms crossed and his body slouched, he looked like he was trying to fall asleep.
“So, buddy,” he said with a heavy dose of sarcasm. “What are we doing?”
I unzipped the front pocket of my backpack and withdrew the rectangular box of playing cards, setting them on the table between us.
I kept them in my bag to play solitaire on the days I had to stay after for Landon.
I wished I’d had cooler cards, though—they were my well-loved Winnie the Pooh deck I’d played with when I was six. “We’ll play a game.”
Hudson stared at the box as if he was waiting for it to move on its own. “When Principal Oliphant mentioned playing games, I think she was kidding.”
“I don’t know many card games,” I admitted as if he hadn’t spoken, dumping the cards out. “But I do know Go Fish. Do you?”
Hudson gave one slow blink.