Chapter 9 #3
The words themselves sounded like a joke, but there was nothing about his tone or his expression that hinted at it.
It didn’t seem fair that he was targeted like this—being forced to sit up front on the bus, being forced to eat his lunch in solitary.
It was like they were purposefully ostracizing him.
“Did the school board decide that? To separate you?”
“From what I’ve gathered, it’s Principal O’s decision. She says she’s on my side, but…” Hudson trailed off, giving his shoulders a lazy shrug.
“You don’t think she is?”
Hudson dipped his grilled cheese in his soup again. “I think she cares a whole lot more about what her friends on the board think than me.”
I didn’t know how she felt about the board, but I did know that she at least seemed to care more about him than she cared about Mom. Otherwise, Principal Oliphant would never lie to her for Hudson.
I cleared my throat, trying to change to a brighter subject. “You know, I was thinking about the Most Likely To list.”
“What about it?”
“I think it’s kind of lame that you’re not on it. If I was ‘Stay A Prude,’ you’d think they could’ve come up with a creative one for you. Most Likely To: Sleep In A Coffin.”
A corner of his mouth tugged up. “Most Likely To: Sacrifice A Freshman on An Altar.”
I burst out laughing, pressing my hand over my mouth to keep it from being too loud. He shook his head as he scooped up another spoonful of tomato soup, but I caught his hidden smile. “That’s a little long, though.”
“Maybe,” he agreed. “In reality, it’d be something like ‘Get Arrested’ or ‘Be Expelled.’”
My amusement sobered a little when I remembered what Landon had said Monday night.
But it wasn’t like Hudson was wrong. Even from remembering some of the labels, either of those options would’ve fit in nicely.
It would’ve been perfect for the MLTs. Which begged the question…
“They must be afraid of you if they didn’t put you on the list.”
The sort of ice I’d grown accustomed to Hudson peeked through then, freezing his smile. “Good.”
The topic had subdued him in a way that was only noticeable if someone paid attention, and here I was, practically unblinking.
Hudson said he desperately hated the Top Tier, which included Landon.
Why? It seemed that with Hudson, that was a constantly recurring question, one that wouldn’t leave my mind.
I glanced up at the clock on Ms. Murphy’s wall, frowning when I saw there were only five minutes left. The period definitely passed much quicker in here, and I found myself wishing it’d slow down.
“So,” Hudson said, wiping his fingers on his napkin. “Speaking of the list. Did you work on your rebellion homework?”
I picked up my backpack and fished it from the front pocket. “I did it last night, and I tried to think of a lot, but I only have eight things.”
“Eight works,” he answered, folding his fingers on the tabletop. To give him credit, he looked genuinely interested. His way of giving this friendship thing a try too. He leaned forward, trying to see the paper. “Read them to me.”
“Did you make a list, too?”
“This isn’t my self-discovery journey.” He blinked expectantly at me, leaning his head against his hand. “Rattle them off.”
For no good reason, my cheeks heated, almost like we sat out in the sun. His undivided attention made me nervous, especially opening up about something like this. “No judging.”
He held a hand up. “Scout’s honor.”
“That only works if you were a Boy Scout.”
“Did I say I wasn’t?”
The image of a blond Hudson as a Boy Scout nearly made me smile, but I remained focused on the task at hand. “They’re not in order,” I said, already taking on a defensive tone. I cleared my throat to get rid of it. “Paint my nails. Cut my hair. Pull an all-nighter. Sneak out.”
“Aren’t these a little…tame?” Hudson raised his eyebrows. “Couldn’t you think of anything more fun?”
“These are fun,” I argued, regarding my bullet points. “I told you not to judge.”
He lifted his hands in defense. “I’m just saying, I guess I didn’t realize how repressed you are. Poor thing.”
Okay, now I was really getting ready to smack him. “I’m not repressed.”
“I bet you go to bed at nine.”
“No,” I replied immediately, making a face at him.
He arched an eyebrow. “Nine-thirty.”
I tried to hold my annoyed face in place, to not give the truth away, but dang it—he got it.
Hudson reclined in his seat with a triumphant smirk. “You have the bedtime of a toddler, Gemma.”
I decided that I was going to ignore him now, readjusting my paper with a deep breath in. “The next one is to try coffee. Watch a scary movie. Skip a class. Say a swear word.”
Hudson laughed suddenly, a short chuckle that lasted only a second, but filled to the brim with humor. “You’re telling me you’ve never said a swear word? Like, not even on accident? Like you stubbed your toe, and you said…”
“Ow?”
He leaned back as far as he could in the small chair, regarding me with a fascination that made me want to smile and duck my head at the same time. “You’re seriously something else. Well, that’s an easy one to check off right now.” He gestured to me, giving me the floor. “Go ahead.”
I glanced around at Ms. Murphy’s small room. “Not now. What if she has her room tapped or something?”
“We’re not in a spy movie. And besides, there’s no time like the present.” Hudson laid his arms on the table. “I’ll start you off. Ffff—”
My hands shot out, almost like they wanted to seal Hudson’s mouth shut for him, but I managed to stop before actually touching him.
Between my parted, desperate fingers, I could see a hint of his lips curling up.
“Not that one,” I whispered. My pulse started pounding rapidly in my throat, as if I was about to do something worse than say a word.
One measly word. That was it. No one was around to hear—I could say one and then cross it off my list. I drew in a quick breath through my nose, let it out even quicker through my mouth, and then met Hudson’s gaze. “Crap.” And then I laughed.
Hudson’s teeth caught on his lower lip, almost as if he were fighting a smile. His voice was incredulous. “That’s your swear word?”
I couldn’t stop laughing, as if the word itself unlocked a new sense of humor. “Dang it,” I went on happily, but then that wasn’t enough. “Damn it.” This time, I slapped a palm over my mouth, but it didn’t stop the humor.
“Easy, now, let’s not get too crazy.” Hudson’s teasing only made me laugh again.
I’d feel really stupid about this later—and probably even regret saying the word at all—but in that moment, there was something so funny about this scene.
The Grim Reaper sitting across from me, his lunch tray in front of him, laughing with the school’s goody-two-shoes as she said her first swear word.
It was the first time that something between us just clicked, like the two of us were working on a puzzle and I’d been able to connect another piece.
At that moment, he was just Bridge Boy. There was nothing scary about him at all.
With a happy sigh, I crossed Say A Swear Word off my list. “Are you sure you don’t want to make a list of your own?” I asked Hudson. “Join this path of self-discovery with me?”
“Maybe when we get to the end of your list.”
“When will we get to the end of it?” I took another bite of my chicken tender, thinking. “I can’t really watch a scary movie while at school.”
“After school, then.” He said the words so quickly, so easily, that I wondered if he’d been thinking them all along. “Take our buddy sessions on a field trip. Principal Oliphant didn’t say anything about that.”
It took my brain, still caught on the list nonsense, several seconds to process what he said.
Go off campus? Together? Staying on Brentwood property meant there’d always be someone around, whether it be faculty or students at sports practice.
Going off campus, though, meant I’d officially, officially be alone with Hudson.
With the Grim Reaper. The boy my brother explicitly told me not to even think about.
“Or not,” he said after my hesitation became painfully loud.
“Sure.” The word was impulsive, sudden, nearly drowned out by the two mantras in my head. Grow a backbone and live a little. “That would be perfect.”
And maybe I shouldn’t have agreed. Maybe it was a bad idea. But what was the point in creating a rebellion list if I didn’t cross things off? I wouldn’t do any of that on my own, either. I needed to live a little.
I needed Hudson Bishop.