24. SOFIA
24
SOFIA
S omeone knocked on my door, and when I opened it, it was Ben.
“Hey,” he said with a grin and reached for me, sliding his arm around my waist. He was tall and broad and when he pulled me tightly against him, I was aware of his size, his muscles, the way he made me feel delicate in his arms.
I could just melt when he held me like this.
Pull yourself together.
But it was hard to keep my mind straight when he did this, when he was so calm and open and deliciously loving.
I let him pull me closer to him and plant a kiss full on my lips.
His lips were firm but soft, and his stubble scraped against my chin. After our nights together, I always had a bit of a beard rash, and I’d come to like it, carrying it with me like a secret, something precious that only I knew about, hiding under my makeup, reminding me every time I touched my face or rolled my lips of when he’d kissed me hard, making me his again and again and again…
Last night I’d wanted to be with him so badly. And not just for sex, either. I’d wanted him to take control, to pound into me, to make me come undone and put me back together again… and then to fall asleep in his arms.
I’d told myself it was the alcohol speaking. I’d reminded myself this wasn’t real, and we didn’t have to pretend behind closed doors—although he was doing a pretty good job with it right now—so I’d politely said good night, allowed him to kiss me, and I’d gone back to my own room. My head and my heart had been full of him, and I’d forced myself to not think about him until sleep had taken over.
“How did you sleep?” he asked when he let me go, and I was a little more breathless than before.
“Okay,” I said. It would have been better next to you . “How about you?”
Ben shrugged. “Struggled to sleep, but I guess I had a lot on my mind and when that happens, it keeps me up.”
“Work?”
He hesitated before he nodded. “Yeah. You know… the project.”
My hopes rose when he paused and sank again when he said the project.
“I’m glad it’s going to happen,” I said. “This town needs this project and with Richie on board they’re going to get the injection they need to keep going.”
“Speaking of which,” Ben said. “Amy called this morning. She and Luke are extending their stay by a day. They want to see what we’re working on. I suggested we eat somewhere and walk through Harborview, but Luke knows of a hiking trail not far out, and it overlooks Harborview. Are you keen to join us for something like that?”
I blinked, surprised. “I didn’t think you were the type to like hiking.”
Ben grinned. “There’s a lot about me you don’t know.”
“Well, I guess we’ll just have to find out, huh?” I blushed.
Ben cocked a grin at me, and his eyes turned a little darker, which always made me hot under the collar. Just the way he looked at me sometimes was enough to make me want to cancel whatever was on the agenda for the day and close the door behind us so we could be alone together.
“So, does that mean you’re in?” Ben asked.
I nodded. “Yeah, we don’t have much else to do today, do we?”
“Just that report I need to send to Alex to officially document the project and Richard’s involvement, so I’ll take care of that at some point. But for now, we get to enjoy this as a working holiday.”
“I’ll be ready in ten,” I said.
Ben smiled and squeezed my hand. “See you in a bit, then.”
He turned away, and I took a moment to watch his back, his muscles moving under his T-shirt, the dark ink of his neck tattoo peeking above the collar. He already wore hiking pants and thick boots. It made him look so different from when he wore suits, but God, he could really wear anything and he would look panty-dropping- gorgeous .
I closed the door before I would get too worked up and turned to my closet. I’d packed a lot of office clothes for our meetings, but I’d happened to bring along something for every occasion, and I’d packed hiking clothes, too. I hadn’t had any idea what to expect here.
I got dressed in a tank top and leggings, with trainers that could double as trail shoes. This part of Georgia was relatively flat, so the trail wouldn’t be too challenging, I imagined.
We met Luke and Amy outside the hotel. They looked ready for action, bright and fresh. We hadn’t overdone it with alcohol, but I’d also noticed that the more expensive the alcohol, the less hungover I was.
Interesting to note.
“Good morning,” Amy said brightly, bounding over to hug me like we were best friends. She had a way of making me feel accepted.
She wore an expensive-looking lightweight shirt and hiking pants. Her trail shoes looked a lot like mine, and she wore a floppy sun hat that worked perfectly with her bright face.
She handed me a similar hat.
“I wasn’t sure if you had one,” she said.
“I don’t. Thank you.”
She smiled at me, and I put the hat on.
“Cute,” Ben said.
Luke wore the same kind of hiking clothes Ben did. He and Amy had both the same sheen of wealth, but they were nice people. Very down to earth. I was as guilty of judging a book by its cover just as others were. The rich weren’t as stuck-up and they didn’t set themselves aside as much as I’d thought.
“Let’s get cracking,” Luke said. “The trail is an easy one.”
We got into a car—that Luke drove himself—and he drove us to the start of the trail. When he parked, Ben handed me a water bottle.
He was taking care of me and it gave me butterflies.
We headed onto the trail; the men walked in front, and Amy and I followed behind.
The path wound through a coastal forest, and the shade under the oak trees was dappled by sunlight falling through the leaves. Spanish moss draped the branches, and it made the whole area feel like it came from a storybook.
The route we followed wasn’t over manicured but it didn’t take hacking through the underbrush to get there.
As we walked, Amy pointed out the wildflowers, naming birds as we spotted them.
“You know a lot about nature,” I said.
“Yeah, I grew up around these parts, you know? You pick it up.”
“I don’t think so. I mean, not unless you’re interested.”
“I guess,” Amy said with a shrug. “We have family who just stay inside, staying out of the sun and away from anything that resembles having to expend energy. But I can’t live like that, you know?”
I knew what she meant. I wouldn’t be able to live like that, either.
“The difference between living and being alive.”
“Right,” Amy said.
It made me think about the job Elena had told me about, going to Costa Rica, working with endangered species and nature conservation. I loved nature and I loved doing something that made a difference, not just working for money, not just working to be able to survive.
“Have you heard of GNPA?” I asked.
“Of course,” Amy said. “Their efforts are fantastic. They make the kind of difference this world needs, operating on a big enough scale that people notice.”
I nodded. “They’re very involved with preserving places.”
“It’s a lot like what you’re about to do,” Amy said.
I glanced at her. How did she know…?
“With the rejuvenation project,” she said, adding to her comment and I realized she was talking about the project Ben and I had just gotten, not the fact that I’d told her I might be leaving. Of course, there was no way she could have known anything else about it.
“Yeah,” I said. “The town really needs a helping hand, and they could do so much with the cash injection they’ll get from the Blackwood factory and the jobs it will be creating. I’m really excited for the town and its people.”
Amy grinned at me.
“Everyone deserves a second chance,” I added, not sure how else to explain how much I wanted the people of Harborview to have a chance to try again.
“I love that you see the world that way,” Amy said.
“What way?”
“That everyone deserves a second chance. There is so much forgiveness and acceptance in that and it feels like the world can do with a bit more of it. People are so inclined to shut off and turn their backs on those who make a mistake, but no one is perfect.” She glanced at Ben meaningfully and I wasn’t sure why.
I knew she liked us together, but if I was leaving… I suddenly realized what this would lead to.
“I have to detach myself from him,” I said.
Amy frowned. “What?”
“The project is already going ahead, and we’re going back home soon. This can’t go on, and if I don’t let go of him, then…” I didn’t want to say that I would get hurt, but that was a fact. If I allowed my heart to lead and not my head, I would end up walking away with a lot more damage than I could deal with right now.
“Don’t do that,” Amy started, but Ben looked over his shoulder, and she cut herself short. We couldn’t let him hear the conversation.
The trail changed as we walked, making me pay attention to the scenery. I was glad we weren’t going further into this. I couldn’t argue with Amy. She would take Ben’s side no matter what. She was so nice to me but she was a lot closer to Ben, and I knew exactly where her loyalty would lie. As it should.
The trail ascended to a bluff that overlooked the coastline.
The crashing of waves against the shore grew louder as we got closer and the trees fell away.
We were on top of the bluff now, and the view stretched to both sides, the ocean bright and blue and never-ending in front of us.
From here, we could see the town, too. It lay below us, nestled along the coast, with marsh grass and waterways all around it like veins that ran through the countryside, giving it life, giving it a pulse.
I took a deep breath. I felt alive out here, connected to the world around me, and somehow free.
If this was what it was to be in nature, to do the right thing and help, then Costa Rica was the kind of place I wanted to be. If this was what freedom felt like…
I glanced at Ben, whose eyes were on me, warm and smiling, and my heart constricted at the same time my stomach twisted in knots.