26. SOFIA
26
SOFIA
T he hike back was awkward. Ben was in a mood, and I guess he had every reason to be. I hadn’t answered him, and I stayed clear of him now, keeping Amy between us or in the conversation with me at all times so that I didn’t have to have a deep conversation with him.
So that I didn’t have to respond to his confession.
Ben had told me he was falling for me.
And when he’d said that, my heart had nearly stopped.
It was the most romantic thing a girl could ever hear because I knew that Ben didn’t open up to anyone. Ben was all about the image, all about putting on a face and not showing what was underneath, and telling me that…
It shook me because it made me realize how far this had gone.
Too far.
We couldn’t be together—this was going to end soon. We were going home tomorrow after we saw Richie one more time to sign the final paperwork.
And when that was done and we were back in Newport, then all of this would be over.
Besides, I’d decided that if Seth thought I was good enough once we talked, I was going to take that job.
I had to get away from Blackwood Inc. I had to get away from Newport.
I had to get away from Ben.
Why?
Because I was falling for him, too, and this couldn’t happen. I couldn’t give up my career, give up the opportunity of a lifetime, just because some guy told me he was in love with me.
I’d done that before and it had nearly cost me everything I’d worked for.
When Brad had asked me to marry him, we’d been on the same page. Marriage, kids, with me as a stay-at-home mom so that I didn’t have to work, so that I could be there to raise the family while Brad worked to bring in the money and build us a life.
That had been the dream.
After getting engaged, he’d told me I should quit my job before the wedding so that I had more time to plan, so that I could have it just the way I wanted.
We’d fought about it. I didn’t want to give up my career yet, but he asked what the point was in pursuing it now if I was going to give it up eventually, anyway.
Finally, I’d given in. I’d decided we could do this. He had a dream for our future, and his dream could be my dream, too. We could figure it out—everyone made sacrifices for the people they loved, right?
I’d had my resignation letter ready. On the morning I’d meant to hand it in, Brad had been away on a business trip, and I’d wanted to surprise him with the fact that I’d done it when a woman had come to the apartment, looking for him.
She’d been as shocked to see me as I’d been to see her.
On her finger, she had a ring just like mine.
And she was pregnant.
When I’d confronted Brad that night, he’d told me he wanted her. I wouldn’t be a good mother. I wasn’t enough. I was too serious about my job. I was too serious about myself.
He’d left me with a broken heart and shattered dreams and all I’d had left was my career.
I couldn’t give that up again. I couldn’t turn down a position like that just for a guy because he told me he loved me.
Love meant nothing.
Marriage meant nothing.
After all, Ben had so easily lied about it before, what was to say he wasn’t lying about it now?
Deep down inside I knew that wasn’t true, but the past still haunted me.
Rather safe than sorry.
When we got back to the car, Luke drove us in silence to the hotel.
I got out first.
“I’ll be right with you,” Ben said and shut the door again. I saw him talk to Luke, and the two had words before Ben said something, and Luke nodded. They shook hands, with Luke reaching over his shoulder.
When Ben got out, Luke pulled away.
“I was a dick,” he started.
“What?”
“To Luke. I have a temper, and when something doesn’t go my way, I have a tantrum like a child.”
I blinked at him. “That’s quite a confession.”
“Yeah,” he said. “I’m all about confessions today, apparently.”
I shook my head. “Ben…”
“I know,” he said before I could put what I felt into words. “I know all of this isn’t how things usually work. No one goes out there, looking—or not looking—for a soulmate, and ends up pretending to be married to someone for the sake of a job opportunity.”
My head spun when he said soulmate .
“Ben, I can’t,” I said. “I can’t let this happen. I can’t give up my job just because someone is in love with me.”
Ben frowned. “I’m not asking you to give anything up. I’m not asking for anything . I’m just telling you, I’m falling for you.”
He took my hands in his, his eyes drowning deep, the hazel turning to a dark chocolate brown. “I don’t talk about my feelings often. Hardly anyone knows who I really am. Aside from Luke and Amy, you’re the only person I’ve been able to talk to. That means something to me. If I can be myself around you, I want to be around you more. Because I like you, and I like who I am around you. I know it sounds selfish, but—”
“It doesn’t. I like who you are when you’re around me, too.”
Ben’s eyes searched my face, and then he smiled. He cupped my cheek, traced a line along my cheekbone, pushed the hair that had escaped my ponytail behind my ear.
“I’m not good at this,” Ben said. “I’m not good at anything more than a one-night stand. I’m bound to screw up because one-night stands are all I know. But I know I don’t want that with you. I don’t want you to leave. The rest I’m sort of flying blind with, so if I make a mistake, it’s not you. It’s me.”
I chuckled. “The old it’s not you, it’s me speech , huh?”
“Well…” Ben laughed. “I guess so. But this is the good kind. Because with you, I can be honest. I can tell you that I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. I can tell you that I’m scared as fuck about this whole thing because I’ve never been here. I’ve never felt this way about someone. All I know is that whatever this is… I don’t want it to go away.” He cupped my other cheek and tilted my chin up. “I don’t want you to go away.”
He kissed me, and fuck it, I didn’t know how to respond. I didn’t know how to tell him that this couldn’t work, that he had to stop falling for me. Because I was falling for him too, and when he kissed me like this, touched me like this, all I wanted was to be his.
I didn’t pay attention to how we got to the hotel room. As soon as we were in the elevator, we were all over each other. Ben kissed my neck, and my hand slid down his stomach, over the bulge in his pants.
His hands roamed my body—one in my hair, one sliding down to my ass. And then sliding to my breast, kneading, massaging until I ached for him.
By the time we stumbled into his suite, we were already shedding clothes. He kicked the door closed and pulled his shirt over his head, grabbing it at the back of his neck. His abs were delicious, and I dragged my nails lightly over him so that his breath came in shaky gasps. He pulled me closer, kissing me again, his hands pushing up my shirt. His palms were hot against my skin, and he pulled my shirt over my head. He found the clasp of my bra, undid it with ease, and my bra ended up on the floor, too.
Ben dipped his head, kissing his way from my collarbone to one nipple. He licked and sucked my nipple, and his other hand moved to my free breast, his fingers working magic against my skin. I arched my back and moaned. It was everything. The sensations of his lips and tongue and his fingers, his skin hot against mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and he lifted me off the ground. He carried me, still sucking my nipple, until we reached the bedroom. He tossed me on the bed, and I giggled.
He grabbed my trainers and pulled them off one by one. He got rid of my socks and slid his hands up my legs.
“Hmm,” he said, looking at me, sliding his hands higher and higher. “Do you have any idea how hot you look in these?”
I blushed.
“So hot… I want to take them off you.” He winked at me. “They’re really nice leggings, but they’ll look even better on my floor.”
I giggled. “Do you always use such cliché lines during sex?”
“No,” he said. “Usually I reserve my charm.”
“Well, aren’t I lucky.” I laughed, but when he pressed his fingers against my crotch, my breath hitched in my throat.
He rubbed me through my leggings, and the friction was amazing. My clit throbbed, and I wanted his touch.
He pressed his fingers against me harder, moving his hand in a circle, and I moaned. I arched my back.
“You have no idea how you turn me on,” Ben whispered, and he leaned over me. He kissed my neck, sucking the delicate skin into his mouth, and I moaned when he started working my leggings down. “You make me want to strip you down, kiss you, lick you…”
“Don’t stop,” I gasped when he pulled my leggings off, taking my panties along with them, and I was naked.
“And then I want to fuck you,” Ben finished. He found my wetness and pushed his fingers into me just as he said it, and I moaned.
Ben kissed my stomach. Slowly, he kissed his way down, over my hip bones, licking a trail toward my pussy while he stroked his fingers in and out of me. I gasped when he pressed his thumb against my clit, and then replaced his thumb with his mouth.
“Ben,” I moaned and widened my legs, bucking my hips. He pushed his fingers into me, his lips around my clit and sucked. Pleasure shot through my veins, my nipples pebbling, and I arched my back, bucking my hips against his hands as he pumped his fingers in and out of me.
He knew exactly what I needed. He curled his fingers inside me, and the pleasure built, tightening in the pit of my stomach. I moaned, my gasping becoming erratic, punctuated with moans as he pushed me closer and closer to the edge. My body grew hot, and my muscles contracted, tightening around his fingers as I came closer still.
Ben worked his mouth, his fingers and before I knew it, I was there. My orgasm rocked through me, making me shake and cry out, and Ben kept going, extending the waves of pleasure until it was almost unbearable.
I panted when I finally relaxed. My muscles were numb, and a feeling of warmth washed over me.
Ben chuckled when he looked up at me. His lips glistened, and he withdrew his fingers. He stood and kicked off his pants. His cock sprung free, hard, eager, the tip bulbous. He rolled a condom onto himself before he got onto the mattress and moved up the bed, lying next to me. He ran his hands over my body, his touch gentle.
“That was incredible,” he whispered.
“Yes,” I gasped. “Oh, yes.”
He pressed his cock against me, grinding his erection against my hip as his tongue slid into my mouth. Slowly, sensually, he worked his body against mine. His hand was on my breast, rolling my hard nipple between his fingers, and I ached to have him inside me. I rolled onto my side, and we lay against each other, our naked bodies slowly writhing together as we kissed, touched, felt each other.
When I could barely hold out anymore, Ben pushed me onto my back and rolled onto me. My legs fell open for him, and his cock pressed against my entrance. I held my breath in anticipation.
He entered me slowly. Ben’s arms were on either side of my head, his cock filling me, inch by inch, until he was fully seated, and I let out a moan as he filled me. His body was hot, and when he moved, the friction sent a shiver through me.
“Ben,” I breathed and wrapped my arms around his neck.
“God, you feel good,” he said in my ear.
He moved slowly, his strokes long and deep. I lifted my hips, and his pace increased. I moved with him, his cock sliding in and out of me. He breathed harder, and he planted a kiss on my lips; he lifted his head, and his eyes locked on mine. His face was riddled with lust. His lips parted, eyes darkened, and the pressure started to build as he slid in and out.
I cried out, my gasps and moans in rhythm with his strokes. He kissed me again, his tongue sliding into my mouth. He was everywhere, and the friction of his body, the heat, the pleasure building… Ben moved faster, his hips bucking, and he fucked me with the same intensity I saw in his eyes.
This wasn’t just fucking. This was so much more. I wasn’t ready to put words to it, but the way he held me, the way we connected when he looked into my eyes, was different from what we’d had before.
Ben bucked his hips faster and faster, and he hit just the right spot. I moaned, wrapping my legs around his ass, and he drove deeper into me. The pressure built inside me, and I was getting closer and closer to another orgasm.
Ben grunted and pounded into me harder. His pace increased, and I bucked my hips against his. He moaned, and the sound of his voice pushed me over the edge.
“Ben,” I cried out, and he groaned, burying his face in my neck. His body was hot, slick with sweat.
“Oh, God,” he growled and then his muscles contracted, and he shuddered. “Oh, fuck.”
He drove into me harder, bucking his hips wildly, and the friction and heat were enough to push me over the edge another time. Or maybe it was an extension of the first time. I didn’t know anymore.
All I knew was that we were together, that we were so close I didn’t know where he ended and I began, and as we came together, nothing existed but the two of us.
I came, crying out, the waves of pleasure washing over me. I moaned, arching my back and holding onto him, and Ben fucked me through his orgasm until he collapsed on top of me, breathing hard.
My heart hammered against my ribs. I was exhausted, sated, and completely spent. Ben lifted his head and smiled at me, offering me that cocky grin that he’d used on me since day one. He looked as happy and satisfied as I was.
“You’re fucking incredible, sweetheart,” he said and planted a kiss on my lips. “I’ll be right back.” He rolled off me before I could respond to his comment, and I lay on the bed, my body throbbing and pulsing in the aftermath of our sex. I could still feel him inside me.
When he came back, he climbed onto the bed and pulled me closer to him. I lay on his chest, his heart beating against my cheek, and his arm wrapped around my shoulder. He stroked my arm with his fingertips, slowly, languidly, and the motion, the sex, the togetherness made me sleepy.
This wasn’t supposed to happen. We weren’t supposed to fall for each other. This should all have been pretend and I’d told myself that now that the project was in the bag, there was no reason to keep going with this … whatever this was.
It would just end in heartbreak, and it would be easier to end it right away rather than wait for the end of the trip.
Yes, all those things were the right thing to do. All those things were what I’d meant to do.
But maybe, just maybe, I would be here with him… just a little longer.