Chapter 3
SEPTEMBER 9 – TUESDAY 12:30 PM
R en
Tap, tap, tap. My pen was like a steady metronome as it bounced off the table. I was supposed to be studying for my Russian 101 class tomorrow, but I couldn’t get into it. None of the words made sense. I never struggled like this.
Playing detective was new for me, but here I was, trying to figure out my past like a private investigator. Reaching into my bag, I pulled out the photo I’d found of the Mikhailov family from years before I was born.
I had spent days painstakingly figuring out who every person was, how they were related to me, who was still alive, and how old they were now. Each name was written over a head with the link to my past, yet I was no further along in my quest for answers. No matter how much I dug up, there was always a new dead end.
It didn’t help that anything I found that seemed promising was in Russian. I didn’t trust the translators after one of the sentences that I put in said, “I don’t have sex with dogs in the winter.” If that was really what the line said, then I wasn’t sure I wanted to know more about my family.
“How the hell do I crack this when the people who have the answers are the same people trying to kill me?”
“Such a conundrum you have.”
Jerking back, I looked up to see Nash leaning on the back of a chair across from me.
“When did you get here?”
“Long enough ago to see you aren’t getting any work done,” he said, smirking. “Is this what you really do? Come in here to daydream, but have all the teachers convinced of how hard you work?”
“Funny.” I placed the picture down. Nash snatched the photo, and at one point, I would’ve jumped up and started a fight with him about it.
How things have changed.
Nash’s eyes skimmed over the image as mine traced his face. He’d been really strange since he got back from the vacation he wouldn’t talk about. It was bothering Myles and Theo that Nash hadn’t said a single word. Not where he went, who he met with, or what had happened. In some ways, Nash seemed…more smug, like he was suddenly untouchable, and yet…there was something off.
If I didn’t know Nash and his ‘I don’t give a fuck about anyone attitude’ I’d almost say he felt guilty for something. If he really did, that was a terrifying prospect. What the hell did he do that he’d feel guilty enough that he couldn’t tell his guys?
“Why are you staring at me? You’re burning a hole in my forehead.” He looked up and smiled. “I know I’m irresistible, but you used to be better at hiding your interest in getting me naked.”
“Well, I see that your fantasizing skills are still in working order.” I held out my hand for the photo, but he walked around the table and dropped down beside me.
“You have got to be the most stubborn person I’ve ever met,” Nash said. “Why won’t you just admit it? Think of it as a cleansing. It’ll feel good to get all those pent-up feelings off your chest.”
I rolled my eyes at him.
“Maybe you should take your own advice.”
“Maybe I should,” he said, and even though he didn’t say it was about me, the butterflies went insane in my stomach. We sat in silence until I couldn’t take it anymore.
“Myles told me you know this guy,” I said, pointing to the little boy of six in the photo.
“Sure, I know Nathaniel. He’s not that cute anymore. He’s the guy you don’t mess with in a dark alley now.”
Turning in my chair, I feigned shock.
“Nash Collier, did you just admit you’re intimidated by someone?”
“Fuck that.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “Just saying you need to know your enemies and your allies and what they’re capable of.” I laughed, earning a glare. “What? You don’t believe me?”
“I do, but you do know it’s okay to admit that someone scares you.”
“Never. The day I admit that anything scares me is after I’m already in the ground,” he said.
“Now that I do believe.” I sighed. “Okay, what can you tell me about my cousin? Other than he’s scary. Could he have killed my mother?”
“Could he physically…sure. Do I think he did…no.”
“Why not?”
Nash shrugged. “Lots of reasons, but the biggest one is that there was nothing for him to gain. Look, when you think of this world we’re in, what do you imagine?”
“I’m not sure what you mean?”
“Okay, let me put it to you this way. If we were a game, what game would we be?”
Mirroring his position, I stared into his blue eyes and said the first thing that came to my mind. “Chess.”
He smiled, and a wicked dimple appeared on his cheek.
“Yes. It’s not a coincidence that we have the nickname the Kings. Now tell me this. What advantage would Nathaniel gain from killing off your mother? A woman who had disavowed her family ties, held no power, was married to a random guy with no pull, and was trying to remain hidden from this world? Your mother’s death had nothing to offer Nathaniel that would give him or that side of his family anything other than a headache.”
“But I saw that polar bear tattoo. I know I did.”
“All the men in the Mikhailov family, including soldiers, have that tattoo. You’re talking about thousands of people who have pledged loyalty. If someone was kicked out, they’d cut it off their hand, but if they ran before that could happen, then they’d still have it. Or it could be her father’s men. She ran away from her marriage and embarrassed him. It is very possible if he’s as vindictive as we’ve heard.”
“My grandfather is still the most likely suspect unless the men were rogue. I mean, your guys wouldn’t….”
I almost blurted out the word assassinate and snapped my mouth shut at Nash’s intense stare.
“They wouldn’t do anything you didn’t want,” I said, finishing my errant thought. “I was really hoping that wasn’t the case and that we’d find something to show it wasn’t him. But…there is nothing good in any of these articles.”
“That’s true, but you still haven’t answered my question.”
He leaned closer, and I swallowed down the shiver of excitement that had developed where he was concerned. If there was a way to squash an emotion, this was the one I’d dropkick.
“You don’t make a move on a chess board randomly. The moves are precise and with distinct reasons for getting closer to the end of the game and taking your opponent down. So the answer to your burning question is…who had something to gain from your mother’s death? Or…by killing you. You’re not dead yet, but it’s not for a lack of trying. I think they were going to kill you both, and your mother knew that which is why she tricked you into the safe room.”
That was one way to crush every little fluttery feeling floating around in my body. All the butterflies dropped to the floor, and I looked away. Nash gripped the back of my chair, and it screeched across the floor as he pulled me closer.
“Look at me,” he ordered.
My whole body radiated with tension. I didn’t want to piss him off. If I did, Nash would just step up his annoying efforts. Turning my head, I met his steady gaze.
“If you really want answers, then the first thing you need to do is come to terms with the truth because you’re still living in a dream world half the time.”
The fiery rage inside of me was instant, and I narrowed my eyes into a glare.
“What do you think I’ve done from the second I was locked in the safe room to when I woke up from passing out after watching my mother’s murder? You think I’ve just been pretending she’s alive? Maybe if you and Vicky weren’t always in my face causing issues, I’d have more time to deal with it.”
Shaking my head, I tried to stand, but Nash grabbed my arm and jerked me back down into the chair.
“Let go of me,” I hissed.
Nash, of course, did the complete opposite. He gripped the arms of the chair and pulled me so close that my legs were trapped between his, and I was caged in with his hands on either side of me.
“You haven’t come to terms with what happened. You’ve been too busy blaming yourself for a murder you never could’ve predicted, planned for, or stopped. Do you wish you had died? Do you wish that your mother didn’t lock you in that room and they succeeded?”
Tears stung my eyes, and I had to look down to force them not to spill down my cheeks. Crying in front of Nash was humiliating, but he just couldn’t leave me alone and tilted my head up with his finger. I jerked my head away from his touch and sucked in a sharp breath as he grabbed my jaw and forced me to look at him. My hands balled into fists. I wanted to hit him. I wanted to do it with every fiber of my being, but I didn’t want to be hauled into Dean Henry’s office again.
“Let go of me, or I swear I’ll scream.”
“Then scream. Just make sure it’s my name and say that you’re coming.” Unbelievable, he just didn’t know when to quit. “Are you so afraid of saying the words out loud that you’d rather run like a coward? I didn’t take Ren Davies for a coward, but guess I was wrong,” he said, letting go of my jaw.
“I guess we’re both cowards then, aren’t we,” I snarled and regretted it as he leaned in so close that the only way to keep distance would be to crawl over the back of the chair.
“You going to tell me I have a smart mouth again.”
He shook his head, his eyes furious as they drilled holes into my soul. The intensity was as strong as any slap, and my heart tripped in my chest.
Nash was like a tornado. You didn’t know when he was coming, where he would show up, or how much damage he would do. It was the equivalent of being picked up, violently thrown around, and then torn in two before you even realized it was happening.
“Say the words,” he growled. I pressed my lips together. “Say it, or you’ll never be free of the pain. It’s just you and me. Say it, say why you hate yourself when you look in the mirror.”
“Fine, you want me to say it….” The tears started, and there was no stopping them. “I hate her for not telling me who I am. I hate her for dying after I gave up my childhood to love her and look after her. I hate that she left me alone with a man who can’t stand being my father. I hate that I was dumped here like trash. I hate that I have to deal with this world and act like I’m okay all the time when I’m not. And most of all…I’m happy that I didn’t die.” I covered my mouth. “I hate myself for feeling like this,” I said softly. “And you for making me say it.”
“Hate me all you want, Princess. But you know as well as I do that you’ll never heal or move on until you are honest with yourself.” He pushed his chair back and stood. “Nathaniel didn’t kill your mother, and neither did his immediate family, but if you don’t believe me, I will set up a meet for you.”
“You’d do that?”
“I’ll let you know the details when I have them.” Nash walked around the table as I wiped away the tears. “Princess?” He looked down at me, his jaw firm and eyes as arrogant as always. “For whatever it’s worth, I’m happy you didn’t die.”
What the hell do I do with that? Other than punch him square in the face.
I finished wiping away the tears as he walked away and swore under my breath as he stopped to talk to Liam. They must have been talking about me because Nash pointed in my direction. Fuck. Liam spotted me across the room and made his way over. Great, were all the assholes in my life standing outside in a line waiting to get their hits in?
“Why are you crying,” Liam asked as he leaned on the chair across from me exactly as Nash had started.
“Oh, you know, just Nash handing out sweet compliments. I’m simply overcome with shock and joy.” Liam raised an eyebrow at me.
“Yeah…sure. Don’t play poker anytime soon. They’ll take you for all you’re…not worth.” He smirked.
“Wow, this conversation is about as much fun as the last.” Grabbing my bag, I packed up all my books and laptop.
“The Little Rabbit is getting ready to run. If you can’t handle some razzing by Nash or me, then you’ll never survive this world. They’ll eat you like a tiger tearing apart prey the moment you leave the protection of Wayward.”
Hanging my head, I sucked in a deep breath so that I didn’t murder him. “Did you come looking for me for a reason?”
“Yes, I promised that I’d train you once school started,” he said, and I crossed my arms.
“I don’t know who you promised, but you don’t need to train me. It’s no secret you can’t stomach being in the same room with me.”
“You worried I’ll kill you?”
“Honestly, I’m worried that anyone in here could kill me, but no, that’s not the reason. Go sort your shit out with Theo, then we can talk.”
His forehead pulled into such a deep glare that his eyebrows almost touched. “What does me and Theo have to do with me training you?”
“Everything. One, it’s awkward. Two, I know you hate me. Three, it’s…awkward,” I reiterated.
“But it’s not awkward fucking my boyfriend?”
The corner of my mouth turned up. “You really want to fight about this now?”
Liam’s jaw twitched, and I didn’t think anyone could be more intimidating to deal with than Nash, but Liam was in a league of his own. “No, I don’t. But I am going to train you because I promised, and I keep my promises. So, pick a time.”
“Fine, Wednesdays. I can do anytime.”
Liam laughed. “What do you think you’re going to learn one day a week? No, I mean every day. The same time every day, except four o’clock. I can’t miss swim practice, or Nash will kill me.”
Everyday? I’d rather a hole to hell opened up so I could jump in.
“I don’t know…what works for you?”
“Morning, before classes. How’s five-thirty a.m. in the gym, Monday to Friday? I’ll let you have the weekend. I’m nice like that.”
I smiled wide, while inside, I wanted to cry all over again. “Sounds fantastic. Can’t wait.”
“Uh huh, sure. See you later, Little Rabbit. You better run. You’ll be late for class,” Liam said.
I glanced at the time and swore as he walked away. Shit, I was going to be late for my first day as Mr. Sharpe’s teaching assistant.
Grabbing my bag, I zipped it as I jogged to the door and sprinted all the way across the property. Why did everything have to be so spread apart here?
Great first day, just great.