Chapter 44
OCTOBER 15 – WEDNESDAY 3:10 PM
B lake
Now, this was my kind of vacation. Well, it wasn’t really a vacation, but any time away from school and all the insanity still felt like we’d escaped to paradise. Kaylani said it was cool out, but in comparison to the coming snow where we were from, the bright sun and sandy beach were hot.
Ren and Kaylani might be cousins, but they were as opposite as night and day. Where Ren was fun and sweet and a lot more reserved, Kaylani didn’t need anything or anyone to have a party. Her energy level was dialed up to max at all times. Ren and I had already shared a few disbelieving looks.
“Are you having a good time? This must be kind of strange for you,” Ren said.
I rolled my head in her direction. Today had been perfect. After the races I had this morning, we grabbed a bite to eat before chilling at the beach near the competition pool. The rest of the guys still had one more race each, but I stamped my get out of jail free card.
“I’m great. Why would this be weird for me?”
Ren pointedly looked at Kaylani, who was having a dance party with Fiona with daiquiris in their hands. She had even managed to guilt a couple of the guards into dancing with them. I thought I’d seen it all, but two girls in bikinis and two men who looked like they stepped out of a mob movie dancing on the sand were new.
“It doesn’t bother me. Remember, I used to go to wild parties all the time. They are tame in comparison.”
Ren cocked her head as she stared at me, and I hated that I couldn’t see her eyes through the dark sunglasses.
“Do you ever miss it? I know you said the whole partying and playboy scene wasn’t really you, but was there any part of it you liked?”
Shrugging, I sat up and swung my legs over the side of the lounge chair to face Ren.
“Sure, I like a good party, but they were also a trigger for me. The stress, the drugs, the insecurity. It was a cocktail of toxic issues for me. I would only go to see friends that I don’t get to often, but the risk….” I looked at the ocean and the waves slowly lapping at the shore. “It’s too much right now. You can thank my very expensive therapist for helping me see that,” I teased deflecting. Ren saw right through it and shifted closer, putting her hand on my knee.
“Are you still struggling?”
“Depends on the day. Most of the time, I’m fine, but I guess this is what they mean that you’re never really free. I was stupid, thinking that I could control it and that I wouldn’t get addicted. You know?”
“You’re so far from stupid, Blake,” Ren said, gripping my hand.
“Maybe, but I was arrogant. It won’t be me. I only need a little. I can stop anytime. So fucking cliché, but I believed it. Now, I don’t dare touch a beer with the guys. Stupid or not, I feel like an idiot.”
“I wish there was something I could do to help.” She smiled, and I laughed.
“You’re kidding me, right?”
“Um….”
“Ren, you saved my life. You’ve been unbelievably supportive. There is nothing else you can do. This is my demon to battle.” Leaning closer, she met me halfway, stopping just shy of kissing me. I smirked and lifted her sunglasses so I could see her eyes. “I love you.”
“I love you,” she said and then kissed me.
My heart sang when she took control and poured what she felt into the connection.
“You could warm me on the coldest of days and burn me quicker than any sun. I would let you scorch me to the ground for just one more kiss,” I whispered.
“Hey, lovebirds. Do you want to get going? We have shopping to do,” Kaylani yelled.
Now she noticed us.
Ren nipped my lip and kissed me softly before looking at her cousin.
“I guess we better,” she said and stood, grabbing her towel.
Bang!
Leaping from my seat, I grabbed Ren around the waist and dove to the ground. I blanketed her with my body, trying to make us as flat as possible.
“Are you hit,” I asked frantically. Blood pounded in my ears as I looked around.
“No, I’m fine,” Ren said.
The guards who protected Kaylani and Fiona had their guns out as we searched for the source.
“Where did that come from,” I asked.
“I think it was a car backfiring in the lot,” Goran, the guard, said.
“Stay down until we know it’s safe,” I told Ren. She nodded.
When no one ran at us, and there were no shots, we slowly stood. The guards by the limo waved and gave the all clear, but Kaylani stayed on the ground. Goran spoke to her softly, while she shook her head and her eyes filled with tears.
Ren shifted to go to Kalyani and Fiona, but I wrapped my arm around her waist and pulled her into my side.
“Give her a minute. I think she’s having a panic attack,” I whispered in Ren’s ear.
Fiona and her guard walked over as Goran led Kaylani to the shoreline.
“Is Kaylani alright,” Ren asked.
Fiona shrugged. “I’ve never seen her like that,” she said.
We stood quietly and waited for them to return, but the look on Goran’s face told me that Kaylani needed to go home.
“I’m sorry,” Kaylani said. She hugged Ren without any further explanation before trudging off to the parking lot.
“We’re taking the SUV back to the house. You can carry on to the dress shops. I’ll catch up once Kaylani is safely home,” Goran said.
“Is she okay,” Ren asked.
He nodded. “She will be.”
We watched Goran march away and open the SUV door for Kaylani before Ren lifted her gaze to mine. The sorrow in her eyes was unmistakable.
“It’ll never end, will it? There will always be a threat, no matter what we do. Owen, Lawrence, some gang next week, they’ll keep coming. I’ll just have to get used to this.”
I swallowed and didn’t want to answer this question.
“No…it won’t end. You just become desensitized.”
She sighed and grabbed my hand.
“Do you still want to go shopping? I promised myself that I wouldn’t let fear control me,” Ren said, and I nodded.
“Count me in,” Fiona said.
Taking a second, I soaked in the beauty of this place. Most people saw nothing more than sun and sand, but for me, it was just another city of sin. It could drag you under and drown you just as easily as the ocean a few feet away. The rest of the world was oblivious to what went on under their noses every day. The wars waged on their streets and in their politicians’ seats. They preferred to be blinded by the beauty, living in the Matrix as long as their zen state wasn’t disturbed.
That was what really separated us from the rest of society—what separated Ren from the pack. We didn’t sit on the sidelines watching as others played chess. We chose the cold, harsh reality that we were all pieces on a much larger board, and every move was strategic. Only the most cunning survived.
I’d gotten lucky. In the mad chaos that had threatened to suck me under when I was at my weakest, a little snowbird soared into my life and carried me away on her wings.
“Are you sure you’re okay,” Ren asked, and I smiled.
“Never better,” I said and kissed her forehead.
OCTOBER 15 – WEDNESDAY 8:33 PM
Myles
“Ya know, if you were wantin’ ta get kinky wit us, ya could’ve just said,” I teased.
Nathaniel chuckled in the front seat while Nash and I rode in the back, with hoods covering our heads. It was the only way we would get to see Devin. Nathaniel had demanded that his prison location remain a secret. Not even a shred of light filtered through the black material.
We’d seen a different side of Nathaniel at dinner. He was more than the dark tyrant rumors. But there was no doubt in my mind that he would slit our throats if he decided we were a threat. I kinda liked it and definitely respected it.
“Trust me, if I wanted to get kinky, you’d know it. And you would see me coming,” Nathaniel answered.
“Yeah, that’s not comforting,” I mumbled, and could almost feel Nash shaking his head beside me.
Nerves made me jittery, and when I was jittery, I used humor to cope.
When we had loaded Devin into Nathaniel’s vehicle last January, I thought that I’d never have to see him again. It took time to work through my emotions, and some days, my mind could still turn pretty dark. I lived each day walking through a minefield of trauma. If it wasn’t one thing setting me off, it was another. I could hide it, push it away, and try to forget, but today was not one of those days.
Seeing my brother, who’d abused me and had set out to torment me any chance he got, was a trigger. I hadn’t realized just how comfortable I’d become not having Devin around and with Da traveling so much. My knee bounced in time to my pounding heart.
We came to a stop, and there was the distinct rattling sound of large gates opening.
“You can take your hoods off now,” Nathaniel said.
The SUV parked, and I couldn’t get the stuffy material pulled off fast enough. It wasn’t yet dark, but the sun had almost set. The bright orange rays made the tops of the trees look like they were on fire.
“What is this place,” Nash asked, eyeing the massive home that looked like any other beachfront property.
“This is the Triangle because anyone who goes in never comes out. And just like the Bermuda Triangle, no one will ever find them,” he said, turning in his seat to look back at us. “Myles, you do know that I’m never setting Devin free, right? I understand the situation with your father, but no matter what he does, I’m never releasing your brother.”
“Good. I don’t want him to ever get out of here. Yer free ta torture him however ya want.”
“Alright then, what are you hoping to gain from seeing him?”
“We need your help to deliver a message,” Nash answered. “My father is a persistent asshole. He will try and negotiate for Devin or attempt to buy you off. Ultimately, he’ll piss you off and ruin the relationship that we have set up. I can’t allow that. We need a firm statement that conveys your position on Devin’s freedom.”
Nathaniel smirked, his black eyes fucking eerie in the darkening car.
“Let me get this straight. You want a response to his request, and a little note with some flowers isn’t going to cut it?”
“Only if the flowers were dipped in blood,” Nash countered.
“Interesting, I kind of like that. But I get what you’re saying. Well, let’s head in, I have an idea.”
Nathaniel got out, and Nash looked at me. He didn’t ask if I was going to be okay, which I appreciated, but I nodded to him nonetheless to ease his mind.
Pushing open my door, I was hit with the scent of saltwater coming off the nearby ocean. I loved that smell. I’d always wanted to live near the water with the sound of waves lulling me to sleep at night. Glancing around, I whistled low under my breath. You could just make out the gates we’d driven through. Tall trees lined the driveway, and guards were stationed everywhere. You couldn’t walk twenty feet without spotting another one.
Stepping into the house behind Nathaniel and Nash, I stared at the wall of screens that covered the property and the prisoners. Mikhailov soldiers watched the video feeds and patrolled the cells.
Nathaniel stopped and looked at us before pointing around.
“When I mentioned creating a private space, Nash. This is what I meant. Everything in here and on the property is state-of-the-art. Nothing can penetrate these walls. I had them specially reinforced and designed with multiple layers for sound proofing and to prevent thermal imaging. There are drone blockers and cell phone jammers as well as cameras on every square inch of the property. There is not a single foot of space that isn’t covered by a camera. No one leaves or arrives without my permission. I only have my most trusted men here, other than Goran and Ivan, who are my personal guards.”
“I’m impressed,” Nash said. “Did you design everything yourself?”
“No, I had help. You need the name?”
“I do. I have two spaces to outfit, and any of my current contacts would alert Lawrence.”
“I’ll give you the information before we leave.”
Nathaniel looked at the screens, and I followed his sightline. I spotted Devin right away. He was pacing his cell and pulling at his hair. When Nathaniel’s eyes met mine, a sickening feeling washed over me. There was regret or maybe pity in his gaze. It was hard to tell, but I knew what that meant. My brother had been spilling what he’d done to me. My determination didn’t waver as I stared at Nathaniel.
“Alright then, let’s go.”
He placed his hand over a security panel, and the large metal door hissed and swung outward. We took the stairs down to the lower level and passed through more security doors and guards. This place was more secure than the Vatican. The men down here were dressed all in black, and the weapons strapped to them were intense. Knives, guns, and a couple of them even had swords on their backs. I’d never seen anything like this, and I thought I’d seen it all when it came to armed protection.
The floor was a soft grey and matched the walls, but everything else was thick, clear plexiglass. We passed a cell where a man I didn’t recognize sat on the floor, sobbing. The next few were empty, and then, just like that, there he was.
Devin didn’t notice me. He paced in a circle, his shaggy hair hanging in his face with his head bowed, mumbling too low to be heard. The satisfaction of seeing him in distress and the sadness pulling at my heart that it had come to this twisted into a sharp pain in my chest. Flashes of my life reared their ugly head. I wanted to shoot him and cry at the same time. He was my older brother, and he was supposed to protect me. Instead…as my mother said, he was born with the devil in him.
He glanced up before continuing his one-man parade as I stood in front of the glass. Then he stopped and turned around. Devin’s furious glare found mine, and neither of us moved as we stared at one another. He was likely picturing my death, while I wondered if things could’ve been different if Owen wasn’t our father.
“Can he hear me,” I asked, not looking away from my brother.
“Yes, he can,” Nathaniel answered.
“Well…I have to say, ya look like a bag of shite.”
“And whose fault is that,” Devin asked, taking a step closer.
“Yers, actually.”
My hands were stuffed in my pockets to stop the shaking as my adrenaline spiked. Even behind the glass, I felt Devin’s rage and knew what he would do to me if he were free. I was far from easy pickings, but it didn’t stop the old reaction. I hated to feel so fucking weak still.
“Bullshit. I’m here because of you.”
I shook my head. “Yer delusional. All I ever wanted was to have ya be a real brother to me. Instead, ya treated me worse than the rats ya caught and killed. At least ya gave them a swift death. But here ya are, a starvin’ rat, and ya chewed off yer own tail. That’s what landed ya in here, brother, not me.”
Devin ran at the glass, yelling like a banshee, his face twisting into the monster from my childhood. It took all the strength I had not to flinch as he collided with a bang. His fingers clawed at the thick barrier.
“Da said he could train you, but Ma filled your head with mush. We should’ve killed her sooner.”
My body tensed, and I snarled at him.
“Don’t you dare mention my ma,” I growled.
Devin’s maniacal laugh echoed through the cells. He hauled off and punched the glass, then pointed at me.
“I should’ve smothered you when you were born. I dreamed about it,” he yelled. “I fucking still dream about it.”
Sighing, I looked over my shoulder at Nathaniel. He raised an eyebrow at me.
“Expecting something different,” Nathaniel asked.
I could hardly hear him over Devin’s fists pounding as he screamed, “I fuckin’ hate you. I wish you were dead.”
“I guess I hoped for a bit of humanity, but Ma was right….” I looked at Devin again and had no idea how we could be family. “There is no fixin’ the dark that eats at his brain.”
Nathaniel made a motion I didn’t see, but whatever it was, my brother knew what was coming. His eyes grew wide, and he ran for the back of the cell.
“No, no, no, don’t let them take me. Please, let me out of here,” he yelled. He tried to climb or maybe push through the steel wall. It was hard to tell what the hell he was thinking.
Six guards walked over, and Devin’s screams turned high-pitched as they pulled out black batons. They seemed standard until you noticed the end was a taser—like in sci-fi movies. The men cornered Devin, and as he tried to bolt for a narrow gap between them, he was taken down to the floor, his body convulsing.
“Where do you want him,” one of the men asked.
“Take him to the torture room,” Nathaniel ordered.
I watched as Nathaniel slowly removed his suit jacket and handed it to a guard. It was hard to believe that not that long ago, he was a senior at Wayward—just like us. Watching Nathaniel was like holding up a mirror and asking to see myself in ten years.
“You don’t care, right,” Nathaniel confirmed as he rolled up his sleeves. I shook my head.
“We don’t care,” Nash said.
“Very well.” Nathaniel snapped his fingers. “Get me a small, long-distance container.”
“You don’t have to watch this,” Nash whispered as he gripped my shoulder to hold me back from following Nathaniel into the next room.
“Aye, I do. This’ll be the last time I ever see him, and I need closure.”
As we stepped into the torture room that Nathaniel mentioned, I made the decision that I would never do anything to piss this man off.
Chains decorated the walls, and every sort of saw, knife, pliers—and things I couldn’t even put a name to—were neatly displayed or lined up on a table. Devin hung from the ceiling in the center of the room, reminding me of a puppet. The guards locked his ankles in floor shackles as Nathaniel walked over to the array of knives but ultimately chose a jagged tooth saw.
Nathaniel moved like he didn’t have a care in the world. If you plucked him out of this room and dropped him on the beach, you’d say he was out for a casual stroll. He tapped the flat edge of the saw in his hand as he circled my brother, who was still passed out.
“I’m going to give you a warning before I do this,” Nathaniel said as he cut the orange jumpsuit off Devin’s body. “I know men like your fathers. Mine is not much better. But there is one thing they all have in common.”
“What’s that,” Nash asked.
“They don’t do well being backed into a corner. Right now, even though there is chaos, they both think they have options and the illusion of control. Once this is done, Owen will slip further into the deep end.”
“Trust me, he was already there,” I said.
Nathaniel smirked.
“No, you only thought he was there. You take away all hope from a man like him, and he becomes twice as dangerous. Just be careful what you create. Not even Dr. Frankenstein could control his monster.”
Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out sniffing salts and put them under Devin’s nose. It took a minute, but then he jerked a couple of times, and his eyes snapped open. He lunged at Nathaniel in a fruitless effort to kill him or run away. This was the first time I saw real terror in my brother’s eyes. Stupidly, the look called to me because no matter what he said or did, he was still my flesh and blood.
But that didn’t mean I was going to stop whatever came next.
“Myles, come here for a minute,” Nathaniel said, tapping Devin’s chest with the saw.
“What are you planning on doing with that,” Devin asked as I walked over.
“Oh, don’t worry about that. Myles, I think you should say goodbye to your brother. Let him know how you truly feel about everything he did to you.”
I licked my lips and looked at Devin.
“What are you going to do, baby brother?” The bastard was chained up and he still mocked me and laughed.
My hand clenched into a fist, and I let Echo claw to the surface and take over. The first hit felt so good when his head snapped to the side. A droplet of blood at the corner of his mouth fed the beast inside of me. Left, left, right, right, right, uppercut. My fists flew, and I felt his ribs crack. Devin cried out in pain as I landed punch after punch until I was panting and stepped back to see his face beaten and bloody.
Grabbing his jaw, I forced him to look me in the eyes.
“This is almost the happiest day of me life…almost. Meeting Snowflake will always remain in my top position. The best part is I know that’ll drive ya crazy. After all the shite ya did, I’m gonna walk away wit a smile on my feckin’ face.”
He would never be the monster under my bed again. I grinned and felt nothing but relief in watching his final moments.
“I want ya to know that I’m gonna kill Da, and then I’m never gonna think of either of ya ever again.”
Rolling out my shoulders, I looked at Nathaniel, who seemed pleased with my work.
“Thanks, Nathaniel. I appreciate the thought.”
“You’ll never be free of me, baby bro. I’ll be in every corner, and you’ll remember what it was like for me to be your first for…ev-er-y-thing.”
Devin sounded out the last word, and goosebumps rose on my skin. That hit hard like he knew it would. At any other time in my life, I would’ve been crippled on the spot as memories paralyzed me, but no more. I gave him nothing. Not a flinch or a batted eye as I stared pure evil in the face. The cruelty rolled off him, and he no longer tried to hide the insanity that lived in his soul.
“Ya may have stolen me firsts. Anyone can do that to a defenseless child. That dinnie make ya special. Yer a dime a dozen.” Devin’s smile began to fade. “For however many minutes or days Nathaniel lets ya live, I want ya to know that ya never broke me.”
Devin snarled and jerked toward me, making the heavy chains rattle.
“He’s all yers.”
Nash subtly brushed my arm with his when I stepped back. I soaked in the little bit of comfort he offered. My body was weak from relief, but also the effort it took to cut off the last of my bond. To truly step away and be free.
“I’m grand,” I whispered, and he nodded.
What I said to Devin was true, no longer just empty words. The shackles that he had placed on my mind as a child unclipped and fell away—along with any lingering hopes or dreams that we could’ve been different.
“Usually, I love having guests to torture. It’s how I work out my daddy issues.” Nathaniel smirked. “But I think I’m going to enjoy watching you die so much more.”
“Please don’t kill me,” Devin begged. “I’ll do whatever you want. I’m a loyal soldier, and I’m deadly. Put me to work.”
“Tempting…but I prefer not to be looking over my shoulder for the knife coming for my back,” Nathaniel said.
Wasn’t that the truth?
Nathaniel stalked around his naked prey before suddenly snatching Devin’s cock. His screams bounced around the room even though nothing had been done yet. Nathaniel’s entire demeanor shifted in a blink. The teasing was gone. His face darkened into a man I never wanted to meet in a dark alley, and they called me Echo.
“Your brother may never think of you again, but I will, Devin. I’m going to think of all the times you begged me to stop, of the pain-filled screams ringing off these walls, and of all the secrets you spilled with your blood.”
Nathaniel pulled hard on Devin’s cock, stretching it out. I cringed when the saw was placed against his skin while my cock tried to disappear up into my body.
“No, no, no, please, no. Anything but that, please.”
A wicked smile pulled at Nathaniel’s mouth.
“Look me in the eyes as you scream. I like it.”
Nathaniel moved slowly like it was a hundred-year-old oak he was sawing through. Devin thrashed and wailed like the demon inside him was leaving his body. Blood pooled on the floor and slid down the drain, disappearing like this never happened.
I’d never seen my brother cry. Not once over anything, but tears streamed down his face as Nathaniel made the last cut and held his prize up in front of Devin’s face.
“Tell me, how does it feel to know that this will be the last thing your father sees of you?”
Incoherent words tumbled from his mouth, along with drool.
“Fine, don’t tell me. Box,” Nathaniel said.
A guard that I’d forgotten was even in the room stepped out of the corner and took the saw before handing Nathaniel a black container with a lid. Opening it, he laid the cock inside like a delicate piece of jewelry before shutting it and holding it out to Nash.
“Keep it closed. It will remain cool for three days so that it doesn’t rot on you before you can hand it over.”
Nash took the box and tucked it under his arm.
“A finger would’ve been fine,” Nash said, making Nathaniel laugh.
“Sure, but this provides a more dramatic finish for you. I can give you his balls, too, if you like?”
“Nope, this is good. Just thinking about traveling with his cock like a pet is more than enough,” Nash said, and we all chuckled.
“It’s kind of disturbing that ya have boxes like that lying around.”
Nathaniel smirked but didn’t elaborate.
“Whatcha gonna do wit him?”
“That’s for me to know. But I promise you’ll never see him again,” Nathaniel said.
That was all I could really ask for at the end of the day. Devin had passed out. His head swung low, sweat and blood ran down his body, and for the first time in my life, I felt nothing when I looked at him.
Nash grabbed my shoulder, and I met his stare.
“Blood doesn’t make you brothers. We choose our family, and I choose you.”
My eyes filled with tears, and I blinked them away.
“Yer a fuckin’ asshole. Ya just wanted to see me cry.”
“Maybe,” he teased.
But Nash was right. Some ties were solidified by a force much stronger than DNA. Only people who had been through hell and back as they protected one another to survive could fully understand. Bonds forged in war were different from any other. That was what we were in—one long battle from the time we were born. I knew we would win, and I would stand by Nash’s side forever.