Chapter 4
(Rebel)
"Dammit, put your seatbelt back on and keep it on until we get back to the hotel!” Steel snapped. “I can’t think with your head in my lap.”
“When my heads in your lap, you’re not supposed to be thinking,” I muttered.
“And that will be fine when we’re stationary, not in a moving vehicle where a hard stop will get you flung into the back of a seat,” he grumbled. “Don’t get me started on what could happen to you if we got in an accident.”
Groaning, I sat up and glared at the man who both infuriated and frustrated the hell out of me in every way imaginable.
How and why that had equated to attraction, I didn’t have a clue.
He glared right back until I put my seatback on, with a fierceness that was impossible to ignore.
There was no winning a stare-down contest with him, that was for damn sure, but instead of being bitter about it, I was mildly amused.
As well as seriously turned on, which wasn’t fun with the tight-ass jeans I had on and at least a fifteen-minute ride until we got where we were going.
“Anyone ever tell you what a buzzkill you are?” I grumbled as I slouched against the door, hair still a bit damp from the shower I’d taken after the show.
Another city, another screaming bunch of fans. In the morning we’d load up on the buses and do it again. It was the life I’d always dreamed of, and yet, there was a hollowness inside of me that even performing couldn’t fully fill.
“You, several times in the last three days, at least,” he replied without a hint of amusement in his voice.
Why’d he have to be such a damned bodyguard twenty-four seven?
Well, maybe not twenty-four seven. When his clothes hit the floor, he turned into a major freak in the sheets, with just enough of a Daddy vibe that it tripped every switch I had, though I wouldn’t dare call him that when he was inside of me.
Fear that he’d get up, leave, and avoid the hell out of my kinky ass kept my tongue in check.
Funny, but few things ever did aside from that.
That I could have damn near everything else I wanted wasn’t lost on me, but fame had stolen my anonymity, so sneaking into clubs for a dose of what I longed for just wouldn’t cut it anymore.
Sad.
By the time we pulled up to the hotel, I was pouting, but at least brooding had an ice water effect on my libido. Not only was I no longer aroused, but I was also no longer certain that I wanted to do anything more tonight beside fling myself across the bed, put on a trashy reality show, and brood.
“Wait here until I check that the path to the elevator is clear,” Steel said as we pulled up to the side entrance of the building.
That was yet another change that I was still getting used to.
Couldn’t go through lobbies anymore without the risk of being recognized.
Couldn’t just get out of a car and go in the side door, either.
I was beginning to feel like I was living in a gilded cage of my own making, only able to step out with an escort, and rarely go where I truly wanted to go.
Most of my time was scheduled and accounted for these days, which was fine, sort of, in the daytime anyway.
But I was a notorious night owl, and these days, the only glimpses I saw of it were through the window of some hotel.
“Yeah, yeah, I know the drill.”
“Don’t be a brat,” he said as he stepped out. “It’s not a good look on you.”
Glowering, I crossed my arms and turned my head away from him. The bastard just chuckled and shut the door, leaving me with the driver.
“If it’s any consolation, I wouldn’t have been thinking about seatbelts with your head in my lap,” the driver remarked.
Our eyes met in the rearview, and I could see the appreciation in them when he stared at me. Any other night and I’d have been all over that, but when my traitorous mouth opened, the only words that spilled out were ones defending Steel.
“He’s just making sure I stay in one piece,” I remarked. “It’s bad for business if one of the moneymakers gets bruised.”
“Maybe, but it sure seems like a wasted possibility,” he replied. “At least for me. That was the closest to excitement I’ve gotten all day.”
His words washed over me along with the realization that Steel might have just saved me from more than just a bruising.
With how interested the driver was, chances were I’d have ended up slashed all over social media.
That or the driver would have ended up with a broken phone if he’d attempted to take any photos or videos of what I’d wanted to get up to in the back of that car.
Guess a bit of restraint might have been a good thing, not that I intended to admit to it or the somewhat inappropriate conversation the driver and I were engaging in.
“Sorry to be a tease,” I muttered as Steel opened my door for me.
I caught a whiff of his body spray as I climbed out of the car and stepped past him, waiting before I headed for the door so he wouldn’t have to rush to catch up, which would certainly kick off another of his safety lectures.
I got it, I did, even if it irked me that he was probably right when he said that I needed to tone it down some and learn a bit of patience instead of rushing off half-cocked.
Or rappelling down a balcony. To say that he was pissed when he finally pried it out of me how I’d gotten to the lobby of the last hotel was an understatement.
He’d called it a flimsy excuse when I’d renewed my protests about how hard it was to pick up someone, or get picked up, when you had an escort.
I let him do his thing and lead me to the elevator, where he positioned himself in front of the door so that I couldn’t even see past him when the doors opened on our floor.
Even though there was a guard posted outside of our rooms, Steel still took a moment to assess things before stepping off and escorting me down the hall to my door.
The only thing left for me to do was fish out my key card and open it.
Inside, we both paused just inside the door after it clicked shut behind us. I waited for Steel to throw the lock and latch the way he usually did while I untied my boots, but tonight, he just stared down at me as I knelt and started tugging at the knot.
“I can go if you’re no longer in the mood for company,” he said, giving me the out I’d thought I’d wanted when he shut me down in the car.
“Debating,” I admitted, hoping honesty would buy me the time to figure it out.
“In that case, I’ll go, and you can text me when you figure it out,” he replied and turned back towards the door.
Dammit, that so wasn’t what I wanted.
“I didn’t say you had to go,” I snapped.
“You didn’t say you wanted me to stay, either, so I’m giving you the space to figure it out.”
“Why does everything have to be so black and white and absolute with you?” I asked.
“Because some things are just that way,” he replied, turning back towards me. "Your health and safety being one of them. They are non-negotiable to me.”
Groaning, I finished untying my boots and loosened the laces, stood, and toed them off.
“I get it, okay? I just thought that it would feel different to finally hit that pinnacle of success we’d been striving for this past decade.
Instead, it’s starting to feel like a jail sentence.
It sucks that I can’t just cut loose with a guy I’m into instead of being told to rein it in. ”
“Were you really in that big of a hurry to give the driver a show?” He asked. “His eyes belong on the road, where I doubt they’d have stayed if I’d given in and let you do what you were trying to do.”
Throwing my hands in the air, I stalked out of the entryway, hoping he’d follow, though at this point, the sound of the door opening as he left wouldn’t have come as a shock either.
I wasn’t his principal, but he was still a guard, so I knew he didn’t get what it was like to come down off that stage with a rush of adrenaline and sheer, unadulterated need surging through me.
Those cheers were like an aphrodisiac, so when I’d asked if he was off duty, I’d taken his "yes" to mean we could indulge to our hearts' content. I got why he’d shut me down, and after talking to the driver, I even agreed with it. But it didn’t erase the sting.
“It wasn’t about the driver!” I snapped. “It was about you. Wanting you! If I’d wanted to put on a show, I’d have gone to the after-party with Dash and Ozzy. Doubt anyone there would have turned me down.”
“I didn’t turn you down; I told you to wait, which more people need to learn how to do so that maybe you get over some of this reckless impatience of yours,” he replied, his tone calm and even in the face of my frustrated rant.
At least he didn’t leave. Instead, he secured the door and took several steps into the room where I was scanning surfaces for the remote, unable to remember if I’d left it tangled up in the sheets or tossed on top of something.
“That’s not what it felt like,” I replied.
I could have tried for cocky. Hell, indifference was my usual go-to in situations where people made me start to doubt myself.
Deep down, I knew it said something about how I was starting to feel for him, which was usually when the warning bells went off.
Tonight, there was just disappointment running through my head on a level I wasn’t exactly used to feeling.
He closed the distance between us in three long strides, and before I could decide whether to step back or lean closer to seek out a physical connection with him, he caught my hair in his fist and tugged me into a kiss.
Light spots erupted like fireworks behind my eyes as a groan tore its way up my throat.
My fingers found the bottom of his t-shirt and hitched it up so I could feel skin and heated muscle as his free hand landed with a sound smack against my ass before he yanked me closer.
What doubt was left in my head about whether he was interested in sticking around for the night fled as he rocked our bodies together, letting me feel the growing thickness behind his zipper.
I knew what every inch of it felt and tasted like, and I was desperate to experience it again.
When we finally broke the kiss, there was heat in his gaze that was way better than the reproach I usually saw in them when he looked at me.
“Still have any doubts about whether or not I’m turning you down?" he asked in between harsh pants and labored breaths that made his words rumble.
His voice wasn’t the only one raspy with need. I barely choked out "No" before slamming our lips back together.
I’m not exactly a small guy, more like average-sized and toned from the exertion that came from playing hard up on the stage, but I felt downright small when he carried me to the bed and pinned me beneath his bulk.
“I wanted you in that car,” he growled the next time we came up for air.
“Took everything in me to tell you no when you started unzipping me with your teeth. So we’re going to get these clothes off so you can suck me, then I’m going to fuck you until you’re wrung out and plastered to the sheets, so that the next time I tell you to wait, there will be no doubts left in your mind about whether or not you’re going to get what you need from me. Is that understood?"
“I-I,” the intensity in his gaze made the words stick in my throat.
“The correct answer is yes, sir.”
Holy shit.
A shudder tore up my spine as I pressed my head against the pillow and rolled my hips, seeking friction. “Yes, sir.”
It came out like a garbled groan, but the spark in his eyes was proof positive that it was good enough for him.
The moment he drew back enough for me to sit up, I did, yanking my t-shirt off over my head and flinging it to the far recesses of the room.
In the frenzy that followed, a sock landed on a lampshade, and my boxers got caught on the edge of a picture frame.
I’d take a picture of them in the morning and laugh about it every time I scrolled through my camera roll.
For now, I just wanted to feel and enjoy every ounce of pleasure Steel chose to give me.