january 11th
It had been two weeks since Skye called me over to end things between us. Confused as fuck. Barely breathing, barely hanging on. I’d called Airalynn because Skye still had me fucking blocked, but she wasn’t biting either. Skye had completely cut me off and out of her life.
Some of the shit she said I couldn’t even repeat without damn near tearing my apartment up.
I took a sip of the black coffee and tossed the mug with her face plastered all over it. I rubbed my eyes and exhaled when my phone rang.
“Yeah, pops?” I said, disappointed that it wasn’t Skye calling to tell me what the fuck had gotten into her.
“Come by the house. We need to talk about your future.”
I hung up before he could say anything else and sat with the phone in my hand for a minute. This couldn’t have come at a worse time.
I wasn’t going over there to confess anything. As far as Ruben and Dena knew, Skye and I were fine, and I planned to keep it that way until I had no other choice. Telling them meant it was real. Telling them meant I’d stopped trying. And I hadn’t. Not even close.
I had a list in my head a mile long. Show up at her job.
Catch Airalynn somewhere she couldn’t dodge me.
Sit outside Skye’s apartment until she came down.
I was going to wear her down the same way I had the first time, one day at a time, until she remembered she loved me.
My parents’ finding out she’d left was the last thing on that list.
I got up and got in the shower. Scrubbed the last couple of days off me. I threw on something that made it look like I had my shit together, even though I didn’t. If I was walking into that house, I was walking in looking like a man who still had the love of his life by his side.
Because the second Ruben smelled blood, it was over. And I wasn’t ready to give him that.
“Skye, please,” I whispered to nobody as I headed out.
By the time I pulled up to the house, I had my armor on. Jaw set, shoulders squared, ready to go to war over her if that’s what it took.
My mom met me at the door and kissed my cheek. “We’re in the study, baby.”
I found him behind the desk, decanter already out, two glasses poured. My mother followed me in and took the chair by the window. He slid a glass across the desk like it wasn’t nine in the morning.
“Sit.”
“I’ll stand.” I slid the glass back.
“Suit yourself.” He sipped. “It’s time we talked about the Campbell girl.
You’re a grown man, so I’ll speak to you like one.
This thing has run long enough. I’ve been patient.
But you’re about to step into everything your grandfather’s built, and you’re not walking into it with a girl from nowhere and nothing on your arm. ”
“Her name is Skye, and you know that. But that’s what you called me over here for?”
He chuckled and leaned forward. “She…”
“Save the speech and the pump faking.” I kept my voice flat. “She already bounced. Y’all win.”
That stopped him for half a second. Just half.
Then the satisfaction settled on his face, and I knew if I stayed in that room, he’d spend the next hour running her name down just to watch me bleed.
He wanted the fight. He wanted me to swing so he could prove I was reckless, ruled by a woman, exactly what he’d been saying.
I wasn’t giving him that.
I’d let him have the battle. I’d take the war. I’d get her back, and I’d do it without ever handing him the satisfaction of seeing how bad this shit gutted me.
It almost made me laugh. I’d lost my girl and was still expected to stand here and perform, smile on my face like nothing had happened. The whole thing was exhausting, and it only made me think about her more. Still, I gave him nothing.
“Son, that’s not what we—”
I looked over at her. There it was, the smoothing, the it’s-not-what-you-think she’d perfected over the many years in this house.
My mother could be as hard as anybody when she wanted to be, but never at him.
Never out loud. She’d learned where her line was, and she stayed behind it.
Right now, staying behind it meant telling me I hadn’t heard what I’d just heard.
“Dena.” He didn’t look at her. “Give us a minute.”
My mother stood, smoothed her dress, and rested her hand on my shoulder on her way out. She held it there a beat too long, the same way she had at Christmas. Then the door shut, and it was just us.
“Sit down, son.”
I sat down this time. I don’t know why. Skye had me weak in the knees, that’s why.
“You’ll understand this one day,” he said, easy now, gloating almost. “You weren’t going to do it yourself. She did the smart thing, whether you see it yet or not.”
“She didn’t do shit. You did this.”
“I had nothing to do with it. But I know her type. A few dresses, some dinners, and a little money. And whatever she gave you in return,” he said, winking. “I’d say you came out even, maybe on top.”
The calm I’d walked in with cracked.
“You don’t know shit about her, so watch your mouth. If you had bothered to get to know her, you’d know she never gave a fuck about any of it.”
He poured himself another finger, unhurried, like I hadn’t said anything at all.
“Cane, that’s what they all say.” He shrugged before continuing.
“Let me tell you how this goes, son, so you can stop wasting energy grieving a girl who already made her peace with it. Your grandfather’s shares come to you.
The Upland office comes to you. Your name on that building before you’re thirty-five.
All of it runs through me until I decide it doesn’t.
” The words lingered in the air at his heavy pause.
“A girl like her was never part of that math. She knew it, you knew it. We all knew it.”
I sat there playing out the version of this that left this nigga lifeless and me in prison for life. Instead, I just nodded, and I hated myself in real time for it. He was burying us, and I was too gutted to lift my hands.
“Bianca is taking over her father’s firm in Upland,” he went on, like he was reading the paper. “You’ll be in the same circles. You’ll be seen together. The right people will draw the right conclusions, and you won’t correct them. I’ll let you get settled first before we execute that.”
“I’m not doing that bullshit. Nah, I’m cool.”
“You’ll do exactly that, or you’ll learn how little you are without this family behind you.
” Still no heat. That was the thing about my father.
He never needed it. “I built something that outlives me. I’m not watching you throw it away because some girl convinced you you’re more than this name.
You’re not. Nobody is. That’s the whole point. ”
He picked his glass back up. The conversation was over because he’d decided it was.
“Go home. Get some sleep. You’ll see it more clearly when the time comes. Pussy is everywhere, son. Don’t throw it all away for one.”
“Aye, fuck you, Pops. If it was just about pussy you wouldn’t be on the shit you on. I’ll let you have this but wait until the tables turn.”
“Yeah, yeah,” he said from behind me as I left, slamming the door behind me.
I let my feet hit the ground and pushed harder, wishing I could outrun the memory. But the more I thought about what she’d overheard, the harder I went. Shit, maybe she was right to end shit with me.
It wasn’t even the loss anymore. I’d grieved that.
It was picturing her in that hallway, twenty-two and alone, hearing my father call her nothing, and deciding to carry it on her own so I wouldn’t have to choose.
He’d done that to her. He’d put that on a girl, my girl, who’d already buried both her parents, and she let him, for me.
My lungs were on fire, but I didn’t slow down. When I broke into the dense forest, I let go of the scream I’d been holding in.
Birds shot up out of the trees all around me, scattering into the sky.
I thought about that day. She’d said a lot. Things meant to make me hate her, things I knew now she didn’t mean; every one of them meant to leave a mark. I’d let most of them go. But the last thing she asked, I’d carried it like scripture playing on repeat.
“Don’t come after me, Ducane. For once, let something go. Me go.”
So, I did. I honored it against everything in me that said to chase her down. The one time I should’ve ignored her, I gave her exactly what she asked for.
My watch buzzed against my wrist. A reminder I’d set the night before. Breakfast with Skye, one hour. I turned around and ran back the way I came. Back toward her. Now that I had her again, I couldn’t stand being anywhere she wasn’t. Even a morning run felt too long.