Chapter 29 Making You Shake
Twenty-Nine. Making you shake
Tamara
I thought being in a long-term relationship meant I would never be starved for sex. But I was. It was worse since masturbating lost its appeal when I didn’t have anything to fuel my fantasies. Not even the romance novels I devoured could offer the ideal book boyfriend or girlfriend.
Then Patrick happened.
And everything changed.
Soon after our night together, I got off to visuals of the way his body looked above mine.
How every muscle and sinew shimmered and flexed as he fucked me.
We barely spoke that night, much like the evening in Millie’s bathroom, but every sound he made played on a loop in my head.
The orgasms I gave myself were some of the most powerful ones ever.
Think shaking and screaming, and most likely scaring the shit out of my neighbours. I have no regrets.
Until I found out I was pregnant.
Since then, I’ve been…dry again. I’ve been wobbling between being angry at him for our past, annoyed that he’s so fucking beautiful and irritated that my well-laid plans are being totally messed up.
So when I woke up this morning with a familiar ache, I took matters into my own hands.
Then got home from work and did it again, making sure to send Patrick a picture of what he’s done to me.
I prop my iPad against his stack of baby books and adjust myself so the camera can see all of me.
I straighten the shirt I’m wearing—a light pink full-sleeved one I stole from his cupboard earlier—so it covers everything and then slip in my earphones.
As an audiobook listener, I’ve learned the value of using headphones during sex scenes and Patrick’s going to put them all to shame.
Lube and two vibrators sit beside me as I smooth a hand over my bump.
I jump when the call comes through and take a minute before I press the button to answer it.
Patrick’s face and chest appear on my screen and I smile as he stares at me.
His hair is loose and flipped over to one side as his eyes rove over me, the corner of his mouth kicking up slightly.
I bite my bottom lip and nudge the shirt aside, revealing a little more of myself and he grunts.
Spreading my legs, I hitch the shirt up fully and tuck it under my breasts.
The sound he makes is unidentifiable, but I watch his gaze linger on my belly before sliding down to my bare pussy.
“You shaved,” he whispers and I nod, dragging two fingers through my folds and parting them to give him a better view. “Jesus.”
“I wanna see you too, Trick.”
He sets his device down and I’m treated to the most incredible sight—he’s completely naked and his cock is standing upright.
He wraps one large hand around the base and pumps it, our eyes meeting as I lick my lips.
We stare as we touch and tease ourselves, my thighs tremble in anticipation.
While I can make myself come, it’s nothing compared to what Patrick can do.
But until he’s home, this is my only way.
“Look at that pussy. My pussy,” he growls and I nod, rubbing the tips of my fingers around my labia. “Daddy misses her.”
When I first called him that it hadn’t been with the intention of getting either of us riled up, but hearing him say it? I don’t think I can ever go back.
“She misses you too. Come home,” I say softly as his hand slides up his cock, over the head and back down. A light sheen now coats his length and I sigh. I love knowing I have this effect even from so far away he’s already leaking.
“I’ll be home soon, Lo. Pump that cunt full of me.”
My head falls back at the image and push two fingers inside. His groan echoes in my ears and I fuck myself slowly.
“You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Being stretched by my cock, fucking you hard and deep until you can’t take it anymore.”
“Yes, Daddy.”
I shake at his low gravelly chuckle, but I don’t stop pumping my fingers.
I force myself to focus on the screen and see his smile as he strokes himself slowly, lazily.
I can tell from his expression that he’s not focused on his pleasure.
This call is about me and he wants to watch.
He slides his hand up, palm pressing to the crown and then back down, twisting around the base.
I want to lick him, slide him down my throat and fill myself up with him.
“I know, Lo. A few more hours and you can have him. I promise.”
I bite my lip harder as I twist my fingers, pushing them as deep as I can at this angle. A whine escapes me because it’s not enough. I need him.
“Use your vibrator, baby. I’ll make sure you get what you need.”
I pull my hand away and sit up, back flush against the stack of pillows, and grab the light blue vibrator. His eyebrow quirks up and I grin, twisting the bottom so it starts buzzing and thrusting.
“Can’t wait to use all your toys when I get home.”
“Only if I can use them on you.”
His responding smile is filled with promise and I shudder. Then he nods and says, “Start with the lowest setting and tease your clit.”
I follow his instructions, keeping it slow as it rubs and strokes against my clit.
My eyes roll back as the sensations overwhelm me.
My hips jolt and I adjust the toy against my pussy, the steady vibration sends sparks of pleasure through me.
It dawns on me that I haven’t had a real dick inside me for months.
“Inside you now, sweetheart. And up the speed.”
I fumble with the toy, but do as I’m told. I’ll be rewarded at the end anyway. With one hand, I spread myself open and slide the vibrator inside me with the other. Twisting it slightly until I have a better grip on the handle, I increase the speed and moan so loudly, I’m certain the walls shake.
“How does it feel, Lo?”
“Good,” I grind out as the toy thrusts inside me. “Not as good as you.”
“Right answer, baby. Now, guide the toy. Pump it while it fucks you.”
His rasp is accompanied by a sound and when I crack open my eyes, I see his hand pumping his cock faster.
I move the toy, matching the thrusts as I guide it deeper.
It will never go as far as Patrick can, but for now, this is the relief I’ve been aching for.
I bend my knees and press my feet to the bed, spreading my thighs further apart.
I’ve also never been more glad to have done yoga with the girls once a week; being flexible while fat and pregnant isn’t easy.
“Fucking hell, look at you. I can’t wait to bend you further when I get home,” he rumbles. “You want to be twisted up, don’t you, baby?”
My breath hitches as I twist the toy, and nod. “I do, Daddy. Bent, twisted and fucked.”
“That mouth. I’ll fill it too, make you leak from everywhere.”
A shudder races through me and I cry out, holding the vibrator steady as my walls pulse and flutter.
He grunts and I force my head forward to watch as he clenches his jaw, hand moving fast along his length.
With my other hand I rub my clit and my body lifts off the bed, a sound I’ve never made falling from my lips.
Patrick growls and thanks to my earphones, I feel it all the way down to my pussy.
“Just like that. Show Daddy how you like to be fucked.”
I sink into the bed, my head resting against the pillows as I continue to fuck myself with the toy.
My clit pulses against my fingers as I rub and stroke, pressing it down.
Between his sounds and the reminder of how good he feels inside of me, I keep moving the toy, pushing myself to the orgasm hovering right there on the edge.
“Jesus, Lo.” I whimper his name in response, my legs falling to the bed as I slide the vibrator so deep it hits the spot. “I can hear you, baby. Wet, slick and mine.”
“Yours,” I gasp out and pinch my clit, all hope of watching him fuck his hand flying out the window. I can hear him too, but the sounds I’m making overpowers everything else. My back arches as I press against the spot again, my fingers shaking on my clit.
“That should be me,” he grumbles, his voice breathy and strained. I love how he looks too—neck extended, veins popping along his forearms, tattoos shifting as he strokes himself. “Filling you up, making you shake, messing up your perfect body. That cunt is mine,” he adds in a rough whisper.
The noise that escapes me is akin to an animal, but I don’t care.
My orgasm crests and I come so hard, I’m vibrating.
With shaky hands, I turn off the toy and collapse onto the bed, my chest heaving with every breath.
Patrick’s grunting and cursing in my ears, then a loud moan echoes.
I peel my eyes open as cum drips down his cock, his hands covered in his release.
I smile at how pleased he looks, how pleased I feel.
I did that. I made him come so hard he’s making a mess of himself.
“You were perfect, Lotus.”
I wave him off lazily and slowly tug the vibrator out. I had every intention of licking it clean while he watched, but I’m exhausted. He chuckles and our eyes meeting briefly through the screen.
“Tomorrow?” I ask and he nods.
“Tomorrow,” he echoes and then smirks as he leans forward. “Charge all your toys, baby. I’m keeping you in bed all weekend.”
“Yes, Daddy.”
“Attagirl,” he says and my pussy responds. Oh fuck, who knew I had a praise kink?
“I take it by the look on your face everything is going well with Patrick?”
I nod and roll my lips together to hide the smile. I’m still reeling from the video call yesterday and the orgasm that knocked me out as soon as we hung up. I’m thinking about how much I feel for this man and how good it is to have someone on my side. Someone who isn’t related to me by blood.
“I hate that he’s not here right now, but we’re doing the right thing.”
“Why is it the right thing?”
I scrunch up my nose at the question. “I’ve always thought about being a mother, having a family. At the same time I’ve seen a life with Patrick since the first time I realised I was in love with him. Now it’s all happening. It is right.”
She watches me with an indulgent smile. “As long as it’s the right thing for you, Tamara. We’ve talked about not doing things for other people anymore.”
“I’m a people pleaser in recovery,” I admit with a sheepish smile. It’s been a hard road. But I’m finally on the other side and making sense of what it means to do things for me.
“How are things otherwise?”
I try to fight the smile, but it bursts out of me as I say, “Good. Work’s been great. So close to closing on the big project I want and doing a lot of designing locally, which is great. As much as I enjoyed travelling, I kinda wanna be here. Be with Patrick, build our little family. Make us work.”
“Understandable. Your last relationship left much to be desired.”
We share a laugh at the things she knows.
“Patrick’s…perfect seems like the wrong word, because nobody’s perfect.
But he’s great. He takes care of me and gives me the space when I need it.
Now that we’ve talked about the past, everything is a little more settled, which is a nice change from all the tension. ”
“Here’s a difficult question: do you worry he’s going to leave you again?” she asks while maintaining eye contact and my heart stops.
That’s not what I expected Dr. Sunita to say. “No. I know he’s in this with me, we’re doing this together.”
I have to believe that. We’ve been through it and we’re slowly coming out on the other side. I don’t want to take anything for granted. And I’m happy to let him spoil me the way only he can and enjoy this part of our relationship.
“Have you told him about the miscarriage?”
The words are a bucket of ice cold water. Which would be perfect in this crazy heat, but still shocks me. I blink a few times and shake my head. Dr. Sunita makes another note and I sigh heavily. I’ve been trying to bury it for a while. She won’t let me.
“This is important, Tamara. It doesn’t change your relationship or the situation you’re in, but he should know.”
“Why?”
“So he understands where you’re coming from and why this pregnancy and this baby are important to you.”
“He…” I trail off. He does deserve to know, but talking about it makes me feel worse for some reason and I don’t like that. Sighing heavily, I nod at Dr. Sunita’s inquisitive look. “Okay, I’ll tell him.”