Chapter 44 – Amber

Chapter Forty-Four

AMBER

M el ends up taking Luke to get checked out for peace of mind, and he’s given a clean bill of health. And wonder of wonders, about an hour after her update, I received a phone call from the Ice Man himself.

I almost didn’t answer when I saw his name. Something about Nathan always triggers me, makes me feel sick and anxious. Naturally, I cover that up by acting frostier than usual, and I am concerned that as Elijah and I try to navigate our new normal, I won’t be able to change that pattern of behavior.

“Nathan” was all I said when I answered. I hoped he didn’t hear the silent “go fuck yourself.”

“Amber,” he replied, equally cold. I definitely hear the silent “I hate you with every fiber of my being.” There was a pause, and cartoons played in the background. Either Nathan has become a fan of Bluey , or he was at home with Luke. That softened me up a little.

“Is he all right?” I asked.

“Yeah, he’s great. Mel told me what happened, and I guess I just wanted to call and, uh, thank you?”

“Is that a question?”

“No. No it’s not. Thank you, Amber. Mel was a mess, and you looked after her too, in addition to Luke. I appreciate that. I know we’ve had our differences, and, well, thank you.”

I rolled my eyes. It was like pulling teeth.

“You’re welcome. The fact that we’ve ‘had our differences’ does not mean that I’d watch your child choke to death, Nathan.” I made a big effort to keep my tone calm. “Even I’m not that much of a monster.”

“I know you’re not a monster,” he said. “I just don’t think… Fuck, I’ve said what I wanted to say. Thank you again.”

“That’s okay. And, uh, thank you for calling.”

It was torture for both of us, and I was relieved when he hung up. I stared at the phone, shaking my head.

I have no idea if things between us will ever improve. I am the Ice Queen, and he is the Ice Man, and somehow we never seem able to play anything other than those roles when we’re around each other. I’m nervous about him finding out Elijah and I are reconciling. He still hasn’t told his family, and I’m making a valiant effort not to let that derail me. There’s been a lot going on what with Drake’s engagement, the Seoul deal, and Dalton going in for a series of tests on his heart. So far he’s been given the all-clear, but it’s a worrying time for them all. It wouldn’t help our long-term marital harmony if his dad dropped dead of shock because I was back on the scene.

That all happened this morning, and in the afternoon, I led a class for the older kids once school let out. I stayed a little longer to do a one-on-one session with Shawn, and now I’m home. At a dangerously loose end. My hands are idle, and I suspect the devil might be about to make use of them.

I’m supposed to be seeing Elijah tomorrow, but I don’t want to wait. He’s working at home in Manhattan, and I’m here in Brooklyn, and I want to be with him. Everything feels better when we’re together, and imagining the surprise on his face makes me smile. He’ll be leaving for Seoul soon, and I want to make the most of every minute we have together before then.

After getting dressed in a very special outfit that he’ll love, I add a little makeup and perfume, then that long tasseled necklace he’s so fond of. I top the whole thing off with a deep blue trench coat. Sanjay is here within a few minutes, happy to see me as usual, and by the time he drops me outside the Manhattan house, I’m grinning ear to ear.

I haven’t been back here since I left for Brooklyn, and I thought it would feel stranger than it does. But now it’s the building where Elijah is, and Elijah is my beating heart. It’s so odd how splitting up has resulted in us being closer than ever. I now get to be playful in a way I haven’t been since I was in my twenties.

I’m wearing spiky heels that are high even by my standards, and I climb the steps to the door carefully and ring the doorbell, knowing I look perfectly normal and respectable from the outside. I hear footsteps approaching and bite down on a giggle—he is going to freak!

I time it absolutely perfectly, waiting until the very last second, when the big wooden door is swung back and he appears. “Surprise!” I exclaim, pulling open the trench coat. Underneath it, I’m wearing my sluttiest black bra and matching panties set, complete with black stockings and a lacy garter belt.

“Fuck!” says Maddox, jumping back and shielding his eyes like a flash bang just went off.

“Fuck!” I parrot, hastily pulling my coat closed and belting it firmly. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I didn’t expect you.”

Maddox dares to peek through two of his fingers to check whether I’m decent. He might be the baby of the family, but he is very much a grown-ass man these days. The blush on his cheeks is endearing, and I suspect mine is spreading over my whole damn body.

“I assumed that,” Maddox says, gesturing me inside. He’s wearing an apron that belongs to Dionne. “Uh, I was cooking. The rest of them are drinking, and I was making snacks.”

“The rest of them?” I ask, freezing in terror and tugging that belt tighter around my waist. He nods apologetically, and I register the raised voices coming from the living room. Shit. Talk about bad timing. “Elijah said he had something to tell us. I’m thinking I can pretty much guess what that is now. You two are back together?”

I look up at his handsome face and nod. He pats my arm and gives me a reassuring smile. “Good. Whatever makes you guys happy. You want to come down to the kitchen? Or, uh, go upstairs and put some actual clothes on?”

I can tell he’s eager to move me anywhere but here. Anywhere that is safe from the clearly escalating argument taking place in the next room. I shake my head and head back toward the door. Nathan and Mason are so predictable, I could write the script myself, and I have no desire to hear what Dalton’s first reaction will be. I have far too much self-respect to stand here and listen to any of them bad-mouth me. And if Elijah and I are going to make this work, then I’ll have to build some kind of relationship with all of them. And once something is heard, it can’t be unheard. A lesson I learned a long time ago.

Maddox shoots me a worried look. “Don’t go, Amber. Stay and eat.”

“I really must go, but thank you. Please don’t tell Elijah I was here.” He’ll only worry I got upset about hearing them arguing.

“No way, Amber,” he replies, following me down the steps and into the street. “You seem upset. I’m going to get Elijah.”

He doesn’t quite understand why I’m leaving. “I really am all right, Maddox, I promise. I just didn’t expect them to be here.”

He inspects me cautiously, as if trying to figure out whether I’m lying. “It was a last-minute thing,” he explains. “He was supposed to be working, but then Nathan told him what happened with the baby, and Elijah invited everyone around.” That makes sense. Elijah would have seen my dubious heroism as a stepping off point into his news. In his mind, it probably went something like “Hey guys, you know Amber, the woman who stopped Luke from choking to death today? Well, we’re getting back together. Isn’t that great?” My husband has always seen the best in people.

“I see. Look, this was bad timing on my part, and I’m sorry I flashed you. I’m going to leave him to it and go home. Please, pretend I was never here. I’m so embarrassed.” I manage a blush and hold my hands to my face.

He frowns, and I’m not sure he’s totally buying it.

“You didn’t, uh, really see anything did you?” I ask, sounding horrified. “I’d be mortified.”

That’s enough to reel him in, and he shakes his head quickly. “No. I promise you. It was a blur—I didn’t see a thing.” He obviously did, and I almost feel sorry for him. He’s clearly as embarrassed as I’m pretending to be, and in the end I think that’s what swings it.

“Let me sneak away.” I lay a hand on his arm and give him the big eyes. “Honestly, I’m really not upset. I’m just a little humiliated to have turned up like this, and I’d feel worse if they all knew. I’ll catch up with Elijah later, it’ll all be fine. Hey, at least it wasn’t your dad who answered the door.”

We both share a grin at that, and I can see the tension leave him. “Okay. If you want to go, at least let me walk you to a cab. It’s late, and you’re dressed in, uh…”

“Very little?” I supply, smiling.

“Exactly,” he replies as he takes my elbow and guides me down the street. I take the opportunity to ask him about how things have been going since he came home, and within a few minutes, he manages to hail me a taxi.

Alone in the back seat, I allow myself a satisfied smile, proud of how I handled that. I could have stayed and listened to Mason’s and Nathan’s objections. Could have gone in there and torn the pair of them a new one. But I chose to trust that Elijah would handle it. That he would defend our relationship and tell them all to go to hell if necessary.

I realize that I don’t feel like going home. I’m nostalgic for old times when things were full of promise and hope for the future. Just as they are now. And I know just where to go.

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