Chapter 46 – Amber
Chapter Forty-Six
AMBER
A s soon as my eyes flutter open the next morning, I see him staring down at me, propped up on one elbow. Our bodies are flush, my leg draped over him and his arms around me. My muscles throb with a delicious ache, and I don’t think I’ve ever felt so happy. After Elijah discovered what I was wearing under my trench coat, he tore every scrap from my body and fucked me on the stairs. And then again in bed. In our bed. Twice.
“You do know it’s creepy to watch someone sleep, right? Like serial killer creepy?”
His lips twitch into a smirk. “You do know how much I love your smart mouth?” He presses a soft kiss on my lips. “But I would very much enjoy spanking a little of that sass out of you.”
I run my hands through his thick hair and tug him back for another kiss. I know from experience how much we would both enjoy that. His tongue slides against mine as he deepens the kiss and rolls on top of me, and all we do for the next however long is make out like a pair of teenagers. He’s always been an incredible kisser, and I forgot how much pleasure could be found in this simple act.
The sound of Elijah’s cell phone vibrating on the bedside table interrupts us. At least it interrupts me, and I pull back. “You should probably take that.”
He shakes his head and goes back to kissing me, and for a few blissful seconds, I let him before pushing him away again. “You can answer your phone. Your work and your family are important to you, Elijah. I don’t expect you to change who you are.”
He frowns. “You should expect me to change. I’ve spent most of our life together prioritizing the wrong things and neglecting the most important thing—no, the most important person in my world, and that absolutely has to fucking change, baby. It’s nonnegotiable.”
I rest my hand on his cheek. He’s right, we both needed to make some changes to be right for one another. “I love you.”
He drops a tender kiss on my forehead and then rolls onto his back, pulling me with him so my head rests on his shoulder. “I’ve really fucking missed this.” His tone is so sad that it makes my heart ache. “Just lying here with you is the best thing in the whole fucking world.”
“Surely not the best thing?”
That gets a laugh from him. “As much as I love the incredible sex, baby—and believe me, I really fucking do—nothing beats this.”
I hum contentedly. The man has a point.
He rests his lips on my hair. “I didn’t realize how much I missed how close we used to be. I had no clue that it was possible to miss a person when they were right there next to you.”
I press my body closer to his, recalling how many times during the later years of our marriage that I wanted to reach out and touch him. To feel a connection to the man I never stopped loving. But there came a point when I was too afraid of his rejection. Not that he would have rejected me at that exact moment in time, but later when he’d leave for work or for some family issue that required his attention, I’d have felt the sting of his leaving. Of him choosing them over me. “I know exactly what you mean.”
Elijah is on a call with Mason when my cell phone vibrates, Drake’s name flashing on the screen.
“Hey, how are you?” he asks, his voice filled with concern.
“I’m good. Really good.”
“Please tell me Elijah’s with you.”
I assure him that he is.
“Oh, thank fuck. I thought you heard what my idiot brothers said and left before he tore them a new one.”
“Well, I didn’t hear any of it, but Elijah told me what happened. He also said your dad looked unwell.”
“Yeah. We thought he was having some kind of turn, but he seems fine. Thank God.”
I didn’t need confirmation of what Elijah told me because he is not a liar and I believed what he said, but it’s still nice to hear it from Drake. “He tore them a new one, huh?”
Drake laughs. “Yeah, he went full big brother on their asses. I wish you could have seen their faces. But seriously, Amber, he gave it to them with both barrels, and they deserved it.” Imagining the looks on their arrogant faces, I laugh too. “I’m glad you’ve worked it out. You have worked it out, right? You’re still back together? He’s not cuffed in the basement or anything?”
“Not right now. Had you called a few hours ago…” I laugh. “Kidding. We had nothing to work out. At least not yesterday. We are very much together.”
“That’s good to hear.” His tone is serious now. “I’m happy for you both.”
“I’m happy for us too.”
“Now, how would you both like to come to our place for dinner tonight? It will just be Amelia and me. Oh, and Maddox. And Dad. And Luke because we’re watching him for the night while Nathan and Mel go to some animal charity thing.”
“No Mason?”
“Nope. Hot date, apparently. What do you say? Dad and Maddox are looking forward to seeing you both. It will be fun. Promise.”
I roll my eyes. Fun isn’t the first word that comes to mind when considering an evening with the James family, but this could be the perfect way to ease myself back into that world. I love Drake, Amelia, and Luke. Dalton has never been actively unpleasant to me, and Maddox—well, I don’t think he has a mean bone in his body. “Let me talk to Elijah, but I think we should be able to make it.”
“Great. Be here at six for canapés and champagne.”
I promise him I’ll try, and we end the call right as Elijah ends his with Mason. He wraps me up in his arms like he can’t bear to not be touching me for long.
“Drake invited us for dinner at his place tonight. Your dad and Maddox will be there too. And baby Luke.”
He slides his hands down to rest on my ass. “I fly to Seoul tomorrow. I’d much prefer to have you all to myself until then.”
Snaking my arms around his neck, I step into him. My body molds to his, another reminder of how well we fit together. How well we’ve always fit, even when we couldn’t see it. “I think it might be good for us. Your family is important to you, Elijah, and that means I want them to be important to me too. This could be a great first step. Drake and Amelia, and obviously baby Luke, are on our side. And your dad and Maddox are much less hostile than Nathan and Mason.”
His eyes narrow. “You don’t have to do this. Yes, they are important to me, but not half as important as you are.”
I rest my head on his shoulder. My lips brush his neck. “I love you for saying that and meaning it. But I really do want to have dinner with them. It will give me chance to speak to Maddox with all my clothes on, and then…” I run my fingernail down the buttons of his shirt. “As soon as we get home, you can show me how much you’re going to miss me while you’re in Seoul.”
He scoops me up into his arms bridal style, making me giggle like a teenager. “Why wait until tonight when I can show you that right now?”
* * *
Elijah’s hand rests on the small of my back as we ride the private elevator to Drake and Amelia’s loft. “You okay, baby?”
Only six months ago, that question would have been met with ice-cold hostility—I would have snapped at him, telling him that of course I’m fine. That I’ve dealt with far more intimidating men than Dalton and Maddox. Now, I take a deep breath and admit my true feelings. “I feel a little nervous. Like when you brought me home for the very first time.”
He pulls me into his arms, pushes a lock of hair behind my ear, and smiles. “I’d already told my mom you were the woman I was going to marry. Did I ever tell you that?”
I comb through my memories. “No, you never did. Is that why she made her famous paella and had me sit next to her at dinner?” They were all so warm and welcoming that day, even Nathan. Well, as much warmth as he could muster for anyone back then.
“No.” He smiles down at me. “She did that because she loved you from the minute she met you.”
My heart splinters a little. Before that awful day, Verona and I were close. That’s why I was so hurt by what she said. And yes, she was sick and not entirely herself, but she tapped into my deepest, darkest fears. “I’m sorry she hurt you, baby.” His voice is low and sincere. It cost him a lot to come to terms with the fact that the woman he idolized hurt me so badly, even if she didn’t intend to. Now, with the benefit of distance and hindsight, I know that she didn’t do as much damage as I did. One conversation can’t undo all the wonderful memories we made before then. And I’m disappointed that I spent so much time using her words as a tool to deconstruct our marriage because I didn’t know how else to deal with my pain.
“I’m sorry too, honey. But this is a new start, right? That’s probably why it feels like I’m meeting them for the first time.”
He nods. “Thank you for giving them all another chance too. And whatever happens, whatever’s said or not said, know that I will do anything to make you happy. You are always the most important person in any room as far as I’m concerned. You want to leave for whatever reason, all you have to do is give me a signal and we’re gone.”
I curl the thick hair at the nape of his neck between my fingers. “And what would such a signal be, sir?”
He grins, but the elevator doors slide open before he can answer.
“Jeez, put her down, bro,” Maddox says.
Elijah coughs, and I step out of his embrace and into the loft. “It’s nice to see you again, Maddox,” I say politely. “Especially when I’m fully clothed.”
He blushes adorably. “Hey, I saw nothing.” And then he does something unexpected and sweeps me into a giant bear hug, murmuring into my ear, “It’s really great to see you, Amber.”
I’m overcome with a rush of affection for him that catches me off guard. He’s dealt with so much heartache in his life, yet he still has the capacity for so much kindness. Instead of trying to hide my feelings, I embrace them, letting a tear fall. “Thanks, Maddox. It’s great to see you too.”
“Amber, it’s been far too long.” Dalton holds out his arms when Maddox lets me go, and I steel myself and walk right into them, deciding to embrace this new start with my whole heart. Being hugged by Dalton James feels warm and familiar. He’s worn the same cologne for over twenty years, but it’s more than that. It feels exactly like it did the first time I met him.
The buzzer in the kitchen signals someone has arrived in the lobby and makes Amelia squeak excitedly. “That will be Mel with Luke. I’ll go help her with the baby bag.”
Drake winks at her, his hands covered in raw chicken, and nods toward the bubbling saucepan on the stove. “Not unless you want to serve your signature sauce with a fork, mi rosa.”
She flutters her eyelashes at him. “I’m sure it will still taste delicious.” They’re staring at each other now, sexual energy crackling between them, and I suddenly feel like a voyeur. Especially as I’m the only other person in the room while the other James men set the table.
I set my champagne flute on the counter, happy for a chance to leave the two lovebirds alone for a moment. “I’ll go help her.” My heels click on the marble as I hurry for the door, excited to see Mel and Luke. Except when the doors open, it’s Nathan who steps out, his sleeping son in his arms.
With an inward groan, I roll back my shoulders, preparing for battle. Our eyes meet, and a shudder runs down my spine. Sarcastic remarks are right there on the tip of my tongue, but I bite them back. If Elijah and I are going to make this work, I need to at least try to be civil.
Nathan speaks before I do. “Before you say anything, I want to apologize for whatever you may have overheard yesterday. Elijah is a grown man, and I know that it takes two people to make a marriage work—or not. If you two are happy together, then I have no right to get in the middle of any of that.”
I can imagine how hard that was for him to say, but I can’t resist making him squirm. “Is that your idea of an apology, Nathan James?” I make sure to follow the question up with a wicked grin.
He screws his eyes closed like he’s in agony. “You have no idea how much that fucking hurt.”
“Oh, I think I do.”
Luke’s eyelids flutter open, and he looks around, trying to identify where he is. As soon as he realizes he’s in his dad’s arms, he gleefully shouts, “Dada!”
Nathan’s entire being softens, and he kisses his son on the head. I’ve never seen him interact with Luke before. It makes him look… Well, almost human. Then Luke spots me, and his sweet brown eyes sparkle with delight. “Bam!” he yells, holding his chubby little arms toward me.
Nathan quirks an eyebrow as I take the baby from him. “Looks like your son kind of loves me.”
He hums, running a hand over his beard. “My brother too. And my wife apparently.”
I suppress a satisfied smirk. “Guess that means we’ll have to see more of each other, huh?”
He rolls his eyes. “As long as there’s a good bottle of Scotch available, I may find it tolerable. And obviously, I’m only ever calling you Bam from here on out.”
I shrug. “Better than what you usually call me, I wager.”
His lips twitch, and he tries to suppress his grin but fails miserably. “Since I’m here apologizing, I guess I should also apologize for that day I saw you in Freddie Kemp’s office.”
I school my face into neutral, but I feel the color drain from my cheeks. Not even Luke’s adorable gurgling is enough to banish the memory of that day.
“Elijah never told me what happened, but…” He sucks on his top lip. “But whatever it was, given the people he asked me to put him in touch with after, and reflecting on the state you were in… Well, I can imagine.” His throat works as he swallows.
I’ll be damned. Confronted with his uncharacteristic unease, I feel a little less anxious.
“I made an assumption that I now know was erroneous. I’m sorry that I wasn’t a safe space for you, Amber. If it were Mel, and she bumped into any one of my brothers in that state, I would expect them to take care of her and to kick Freddie’s ass. No matter what’s happened between us, I’m ashamed that I wasn’t that for you. I should have been.”
I’m about to tell him that he doesn’t need to apologize, that he couldn’t have known what had happened, but I stop myself. I was sexually assaulted and I ran into my brother-in-law immediately afterward. He’s absolutely right—I should have been able to at least ask him for help.
So I force myself to recognize the role I’ve played in our antagonistic relationship and nod, holding onto Luke’s chubby fist to stop him from shoving it into my mouth, which he appears intent on doing. “I appreciate that, Nathan. Thank you.”
Obviously sensing my unease with this conversation, he clicks his tongue against the roof of his mouth. “Did we just have a civil conversation?”
I gasp, feigning surprise. “You know, I believe we did.”
Nathan looks behind me and gives a nod in greeting to someone. “Everything okay here?” Elijah’s smooth, deep voice fills the entryway, and a second later, his reassuring hands are sliding around my waist as he pulls me against him. I can’t deny how good it feels. Like we’re on the same side. A united front.
“Everything’s good,” I assure him.
He leans over me to give his nephew a kiss that makes Luke giggle and squirm in my arms, then Elijah directs his attention to his brother. “I didn’t expect to see you. I thought Mel was dropping Luke off.”
“I wanted to apologize to your wife for what I said yesterday. For some other shit too.” I can only imagine the look of disbelief on my husband’s face when Nathan adds, “And she accepted gracefully.”
Elijah kisses the top of my head. “That’s because she is both gracious and accepting.”
I can practically feel Nathan struggling not to roll his eyes, but he manages it, and I can’t help but smile.
This doesn’t mean we’re besties, Nathan and I. We’re not going to call each other up to discuss the latest episode of Drag Race or go for drinks after a tough day. But we’re no longer enemies, and that is definitely progress.