Chapter 37
Caren glanced up as the door to Travis’s apartment opened and closed and he stormed into the living area.
Tyler had insisted on bringing her back here after they’d gone to scope out where the protest was going to be. She didn’t know why Travis had insisted that she take two bodyguards. Heck, she still didn’t fully understand why Tyler was following her around.
Seemed like a huge waste of resources to her.
Travis was being far too overprotective and she was going to have a word with him.
But when he walked into the living area, he appeared pale and his gaze was intense.
She tensed.
Something was wrong. He held a folder that he handed to Tyler who strode out of the kitchen, eating an apple.
He hadn’t been joking when he said he ate a lot.
She was going to have to do a new grocery order for her apartment and here.
She was just letting him eat down some of her pantry before she discreetly moved things from the drawers.
Her stress levels had mellowed out since her session last night. Today her mind had been almost completely free of worry.
Almost.
Now she found herself worried over Travis as he moved to her. Her laptop was set aside and he picked her up in his arms, cradling her against him.
“Travis? What is it? Has something happened? What’s wrong?” she asked, grasping hold of him tight.
He rocked her back and forth.
“What’s wrong?” Tyler asked.
“Read the folder,” Travis said to his brother.
She glanced over at Tyler as he sat holding the folder. As soon as he started reading, he grew pale.
Bloody hell.
What was it?
“Travis?”
“Yeah,” he said.
“Should I read what’s in the folder?”
“No!” both men said together.
Well. All right, then. What the heck was in it?
“Do you want to put me down? Can I get you some coffee? Something else?”
“No. I’m not putting you down.” Instead, he buried his face in her neck, breathing in deeply.
Okay. She’d just hold onto him until he felt like he could let go.
“Just tell me that no one has died,” she said.
“No one has died.” Travis sighed then sat on the sofa with her settled on his lap.
She studied his face in concern.
“I had Alexa look into Aadan and the General,” Travis told her.
“Oh God. What if they find out you’re looking into them? I don’t want them coming after you.”
“I think they have bigger issues than us looking into them,” Travis said. “The General is on Interpol’s Most Wanted List.”
“He is?” she whispered. “Oh my God. What has he done?”
“What hasn’t he done?” Tyler said, still reading through the information that must be in that folder. “Jesus. These are some terrible fucking monsters.”
“Monsters?” she whispered, feeling ill.
She knew that they weren’t good people. But she’d let Aadan touch her. At one stage she’d thought she loved him.
Until she’d witnessed what an awful person he could be. The things that he was capable of.
“I saw him slap one of the servants. He struck the younger man and he fell and he seemed so . . . uncaring. So cold. He stood there and didn’t react.
I felt ill. He didn’t realize I was there .
. . I wasn’t meant to be there. I ran off and packed my stuff and told him I was going.
Told him that I couldn’t be with someone who thought it was all right to just .
. . to just hit someone like that. I asked him how long it would be before he hit me.
” She shook her head. Nausea bubbled in her stomach.
She still couldn’t believe how stupid she’d been.
An attractive, charming man paid attention to her and it had gone to her head . . . making her do things she normally wouldn’t.
Shouldn’t.
She guessed that’s what happened when you were starved of love and affection as a child. You grew up to crave it and when you experienced it . . . well, it went to your head.
It made her feel so . . . pathetic and ridiculous. How did she get to her age and still have the wool pulled over her eyes? How had he fooled her so easily?
“It was like a switch flipping. I could see it. He went from loving and infatuated to infuriated. I thought he might hit me. He cornered me against a wall. Told me that I would never leave. He laid his hand around my throat, not pressing in, but the threat was there.”
“Motherfucking bastard!” Travis snarled.
“I was so damn stupid. How could I let myself be fooled like that? And I’m so . . . so damn embarrassed. Bollocks. I’m going to cry now.”
Which made her feel even more pathetic.
This was all her fault. She’d done this. She’d gotten involved with that monster and she didn’t deserve to cry over it. Just because she was a pathetic loser.
“Stop,” Travis said firmly, drawing her away from him so she couldn’t hide. He cupped her chin, tilting her head back. “You are not to blame for this.”
“How could any of this be your fault?” Tyler said. “The things these assholes have done wasn’t your fault. You didn’t do it.”
“No, but I fell for his charming act,” she said.
“I was such an idiot. I’d been in relationships before, but nothing like this.
He made me feel special and loved. Wanted.
I hadn’t really felt those things before.
Grammy tried her best to make me feel good about myself, but I was still an awkward teenager back then.
I was too . . . too scarred by my parents to believe her. But I believed him.”
“That is not your fault,” Travis told her. “From all accounts, Aadan Joseph is exceptionally charming and smooth. You weren’t a fool to believe him. You are sweet and kind and you shouldn’t have to guard yourself against evil.”
“I’m naive and an idiot.”
“Do you want a spanking?” Travis growled.
“Uh-oh,” Tyler said.
She knew she had to be bright red by this stage, but she still glared at him. “You can’t threaten to spank me for that! And not in front of Tyler!”
“Why not in front of Tyler? He’s your bodyguard and my brother, probably won’t be the last time he hears me threaten you with a spanking.”
“It will be! You can’t just threaten to spank me when I say something you don’t like.”
“I can when you’re breaking a rule.”
Oh shoot.
“I’m not putting myself down. I’m speaking the truth.”
“Nope. Your parents abused you. They made you think that you were unlovable and forgettable when you’re the most beautiful, amazing woman I’ve ever met. And you might still believe their bullshit, but I know it’s never been true. And I will spend the rest of my life proving that to you.”
She sucked in a breath at the declaration in those words. At the utter confidence in them.
“And that’s my cue to go,” Tyler said, standing. “Don’t want to be here when things get down and dirty.”
“Jesus,” Travis muttered as her cheeks burned.
“I’m still staying in one of the suites up here,” Tyler told them. “The rat is gone, but the place needs to be disinfected. So I’m close by if you need me.”
Tyler place the folder on the coffee table before he left. She stared at the folder. “I should read it.”
“You should not,” Travus countered. “It will give you nightmares.”
“I already have those.” She shook her head.
“Well, not so much anymore. Because I thought I was safe. I mean, I am safe. Why would he come after me? It’s been nine months.
I’ve heard nothing. And I don’t think I was that important to him.
I never saw anything. I don’t even know where I was because I have a fucking terrible sense of direction and I arrived at night via helicopter then a car with tinted windows.
I left a similar way. I was stupid to be fooled by him like that. I need to read what’s in the folder.”
“No, you don’t. You will have nightmares and I won’t have it. And I know you’ll feel guilty or stupid or some shit like that and I won’t have that either.”
“You can’t control everything that happens to me, Travis. Or everything that I feel.”
“I can sure as hell try.” Leaning in, he kissed her gently. “Because you are mine to take care of. Mine to cherish. Mine to love. And you are infinitely lovable, you are precious, you deserve good things. You know who is none of those things? Your fucking parents and Aadan fucking Joseph.”
She let out a sigh that kind of shuddered because she was barely holding back more tears.
“And I’m here to tell you that as often as you need to hear it, understand me, beautiful girl?” He peppered her face with kisses, catching the tears that slipped free. Then he kissed her lightly. “Utterly beautiful. Completely lovable. So deserving of everything good in her life. Including me.”
She had to laugh at that. Lack of confidence was not something that Travis suffered from.
“I’m going to take care of you, baby.” He wrapped her up tight in his arms and she held onto him just as tightly. “I just need you to let me.”
“I’ll try.”
“That means having a bodyguard for a while longer. Doesn’t have to be Tyler, I know how annoying he can be.”
She found herself grinning again. “I like Tyler.”
Travis grunted. “Don’t have to lie to me.”
“I’m not!” She lightly slapped his chest, leaning back to glare up at him.
He winked at her.
“How long will I need a bodyguard for?” She still thought it was overkill when Aadan had probably forgotten she existed. But she knew that Travis needed to do this.
So for him she’d put up with it.
“Oh, I don’t know . . . I was thinking the rest of your life?”
“Travis!” she cried.
“Just let me protect you for a while, okay? Alexa is still doing a bit more research into him. I don’t know what I’m looking for exactly . . . but when I feel more confident that you’re safe, I’ll remove Tyler. Although, I really don’t want you going to this protest tomorrow.”
She sighed. “It has nothing to do with Aadan, though.”
He just stared at her.
“I have to keep living my life. And I really want to get some images.”
“Can you do it from afar?”
They wouldn’t be as good. Urgh. “I suppose.”
“Thank you, baby. I appreciate it. I love you, I just never want anything to happen to you.”
Yeah, she understood that since she felt the same way.
No, no, no!
She saw him fling back his arm, ready to strike the smaller man in front of him. Caren tried to run to him . . . to get in between them . . . but an arm wrapped around her middle and another one was placed over her mouth.
“Shut up, you stupid girl. You’re going to get yourself killed. Never come back here, forget all about him, or you and everyone you love . . . are dead.”
Caren sat up with a gasp, shaking and sweating. What was that? She’d never heard those words before, why would her brain make them up?
What was wrong with her?
“Baby, hey. What happened? What’s wrong?” Travis sat up and she flung herself at him.
“It felt so real. It felt so real,” she cried.
“Fucking hell. I should have known this would happen. I never should have told you that I was looking into him.”
“No, no. I’ve had nightmares about him before. This isn’t your fault. It’s just . . . this one was different.”
She told him what the voice had said. “What do you think it means?”
“I think it means you’re nervous I’m going to unearth a hornet’s nest.” He held her tighter. “But no matter what happens, I won’t allow any harm to come to you. Understand?”
“I don’t want anything to happen to you either!” she cried.
“Nothing will, baby. I promise.”
Caren wished that she could simply believe that. But it wasn’t really a promise that he could make.
Finally, she drew away from him, but she knew she wasn’t going to sleep. She attempted to climb out of bed, but he wrapped an arm around her.
“Where are you going?”
“To take a shower.” Her skin was itching. She felt dirty and . . . wrong.
“Because you’re sweaty from the nightmare or because you feel dirty?”
“B-both?” she said.
“You can have one shower. With me. Then it’s back to bed.”
Twenty minutes later, they were back in bed but she still didn’t feel settled. Was she hungry? No. Should she make sure that Travis had . . . no!
“What do you need, baby? What would make you feel better that doesn’t involve you scrubbing your skin raw or shoving food into every drawer?”
She winced and thought about that. Would anything make her feel better? Him taking charge would. But it was after two in the morning and he needed sleep.
“Can I . . . um . . . can I suck your cock?”
There was a beat of silence and she winced. Was he going to think she was an idiot?
“Go for it, baby.”
She slid down the bed until she was fully immersed under the covers. Reaching out, she wrapped her hand around his cock. He always slept naked, which made it easier for her to get access. Then she took him slowly into her mouth and sucked. As she sucked, he grew harder but that didn’t bother her.
This wasn’t about sex or pleasure.
It was comfort.
And it was exactly what she needed for her body and mind to relax. He placed a hand on the back of her head, holding her steady and Caren just let herself drift.
“Whoever heard of a fucking Friday afternoon protest?” Travis grumbled as he grabbed his keys and phone.
Fuck. Traffic was going to be a nightmare. He probably should have left half an hour ago. The protest was happening close to Hyde Park. He was meant to be meeting Tyler and Caren four blocks away from the protest.
“You better go, bossman,” Alexa called out. “You’re gonna be late.”
“I know, I know.” He wished he’d been able to convince Caren not to go today, but she’d said she felt like she was going crazy without some sort of purpose.
He really didn’t know why her purpose couldn’t be to love him.
Seemed pretty simple.
“Um, Travis?”
He glanced up at Rory. He quickly wiped the frown off his face. “Everything okay, sweetheart?”
“Not really. There’re a man and woman here. They say they work for Interpol.”
“Actually, I work for Interpol,” a woman said, stepping up behind Rory. “McCallum here works for the FBI.”
“I’m about to head out,” Travis told them.
“We really need to speak to you,” the woman said. “Alone.”
“Travis?” Rory asked.
“Rory, can you contact Tyler and tell him I won’t make it. Ask Gable to meet them instead. Then get Jace to come and get you. Alexa?” he called out. “Maybe you better come in here.”
“Coming,” Alexa said, skipping over. She looked McCallum up and down. “Hellooo handsome. I don’t suppose you have an urge to bend the rules while still upholding them?”
“What?” McCallum said.
“Come in,” Travis said as he strode out of his office. “And get out your IDs.”
Jace was leaning over Rory at her desk. He glanced up with a frown. “You good?”
“Yep. Clear everyone out. Take Rory home. Gable’s gone?”
“Yep. He and Tyler have her. The others are still on jobs.”
Good.
He walked back into the office. “What’s this all about?”