Chapter 2
Odette
I made it to my car and onto the highway before I realized I was crying, and my body was shaking. Knowing I shouldn't be behind the wheel, I took the next exit and hunted for a gas station where I could park.
My mind was racing, and the last hour was playing on a vicious repeat: the candles, the music, my husband's naked body covering another woman's.
At least I had seen a condom on his half-flaccid dick when he pulled out of her, but that still didn't stop the vomit which rose, and I couldn't push it back down this time. I opened my car door as my stomach contents from at least the last twelve hours spilled over the concrete. I had a fleeting thought that I should drive to Susan’s and pick up Lux, but one glance at myself in my rear-view mirror and I knew that wasn't an option.
My hair looked greasy from me running my hands through it, my eyes were red-rimmed from my tears, I was ghastly pale, and snot was everywhere—I wasn't one of those girls who looked gorgeous while crying.
In fact, it was the exact opposite; I puffed up like a balloon, and every part of my face turned a splotchy red.
If you didn't know me, you'd probably think I was a strung-out junkie.
Nope, just a woman who found out that the man she devoted almost the last decade to was nothing but a cheat and a liar.
My phone was ringing in my bag on the passenger's seat, and a quick glance at the caller ID had me dry heaving again. The word "Husband" flashed across it mockingly, and I needed to come up with a plan. I needed to call Wynn.
I quickly sent off a text to Susan.
Hi Susan, just letting you know there has been a change of plans. I'm spending the night with Wynn; I'll give you a call tomorrow morning and iron out the details on when I'm coming to pick up Lux.
My hands were still shaking as my finger hovered over Wynn's contact.
I hesitated, because once I told someone else, it would make this real.
Real that my husband cheated on me for months, real that I heard his girlfriend explain all he told her— he wasn't in love with me anymore, we had Lux too young and it changed everything.
My husband had officially made me an outsider in our own marriage.
He sought comfort, sex, and emotional support with someone else.
I couldn't help but gag. Again. Tears pooled at my eyes, and I let out an anguished scream while I beat my hands on the steering wheel.
I hate him, I hate him. I hate that he made me feel this way, I hate that he ruined our marriage beyond repair, and I hate how he could ever utter those words about the one thing I thought we would always agree on, Lux.
She was the most important person in the world.
I'd willingly lay my life on the line for her, no questions asked.
I used to think Murphy felt the same way about her, about me .
..but clearly, I was so very wrong. Resolve took hold and I hit the call button.
She answered on the third ring, her voice smoky, a bit like honey mixed with sin. "Hey, sis, bit late for a chat? Lux keeping you up?"
Wynn wasn't my sister by blood, but we had grown up in and out of foster care and eventually ended up in the same house.
I was fifteen and she was turning seventeen.
Ms. Wilder was a nice older lady, and a far cry from where I had been before, but at least she was safe.
I used to think being placed in her care was the best thing that happened to me, because I found Wynn, my sister for life, and I found Murphy.
"Earth to Odette?" I heard over my thoughts, and I realized I had yet to speak.
"Wynn..." I barely managed to croak out.
"What happened?" she demanded, her voice taking on a deadly tone.
"I can't...I don't..." I couldn't stop the onslaught of tears, and I couldn't bring myself to tell her what had happened.
The annoying beep of my call waiting kept pinging in my ear, and I didn't need a PhD to know it was Murphy.
I don't think I've ever once ignored him before, but I hit decline without a second thought.
"I'm coming to get you," she said before I heard the line disconnect.
I almost wanted to ask her how she knew where I was, but then I remembered we had the Find Your Family app installed so she had my location.
Fuck, that means Murphy also has my location.
I went into my settings and shut it off. I needed to leave here; I knew my husband, and I knew he would be coming.
Shooting a text to Wynn, I told her not to leave her place, that I was coming to her, and I would be silencing my phone.
I knew it would take me a little over two hours to make my way to her.
I turned my phone on silent, thinking better of shutting it off completely in case Susan needed to contact me about Lux.
I wiped the tears and vomit from my face, pulled out of the gas station parking lot, and drove to Wynn, all the while planning what to do next.
I made it to Wynn’s cozy cottage in record time.
The world seemed to be asleep as I made my drive, so I was able to do some thinking.
I wasn't ashamed of my submissive nature, and it worked for me.
I knew some of it had to do with my childhood trauma of being in and out of foster care.
I knew that I just wanted someone to take care of me, and someone I could take care of and shower with all the love I had never been given or allowed to give in my youth.
Wynn always used to call me a bleeding heart, and she was fiercely protective because I was the type people took advantage of.
Wanting to see the best in people and all that.
As I had made the drive, I felt a fundamental piece of me change.
Was it because of who I was that Murphy thought he could do this?
Has he been doing this the entire time we've been together?
I've never once questioned him, never once thought to look through his phone, never thought he could be capable of this.
Had I buried my head in the sand so I could keep my own slice of happiness?
I never wanted to feel like this again, like who I was wasn't enough, who I was would allow someone to walk all over me, and they did.
I could feel the instant I changed, I'd heard and read about this before. I felt my heart completely shatter and rebuild itself in Lux's name alone, forcing Murphy out like a poison. He had no place here anymore. It was over, I was done, and everything had changed.