Chapter 12
Murphy
There she goes... I couldn't help but watch Odette as she made her way out of the backyard and into her car.
She's so beautiful. I couldn't help the ache I felt in my chest at seeing her and being so close. She looked happy and healthy, and that's all I want for her.
My mind remembered the last time I had seen her somewhat up close.
It had been about six months after our divorce, and she was at the grocery store close to my mom's.
I swung by so I could stock up on Lux's favorite snacks for the evening, and I noticed her up ahead in the aisle I was about to go down.
She looked sick— her face was pale, she had lost a significant amount of weight, and her lips looked like they were permanently etched in a frown.
It had stopped me dead in my tracks. How could I have been so stupid?
How could I have hurt the one I loved in such a horrible manner?
Even though I wanted to go to her and start a conversation, beg on my knees for forgiveness, I could see that wasn't what she needed.
I could see I wasn't what she needed . So, I walked away, and I've kept my distance for the last three years.
"Dad?" Lux's scratchy voice called from the walkie-talkie in my back pocket.
Some might find it weird that we communicated by walkie-talkies, but the yard was big, and I had grown the gardens, so it was easy to lose a six-year-old in here, especially when she wanted to hide from me.
It also allowed her to "page" me when I was out working in my workshop if she needed me.
Although I didn't do a lot of work whenever I had Lux because I wanted her to know she was my focus.
I never wanted to give her a reason to doubt me.
"You okay, baby?" Hearing her sick voice made my heart clench, and the feeling of helplessness I sometimes felt when it came to my daughter almost brought me to my knees. I was so close to losing her forever, and not because of Odette, but because of me.
" Can you bring me some popsicles?"
I changed my trajectory from my shop to the mini house I shared with Lux.
Memories always sat in the back of my mind.
I suppose some people wanted to forget all their past mistakes, sweep them under the rug, but I chose to live with mine.
I let them simmer to remind me of what I lost, and what I could stand to lose again.
Memories of the weekend after my divorce was finalized came to the forefront during my walk.
I remembered going into the office after my divorce was finalized, seeing the two colleagues I had been close with, Steven and Brian, setting up streamers and balloons, laughing at each other.
I had only caught the tail end of the conversation.
"I don't know why he's so upset; he basically gets to offload his wife and his kid . " Brian shrugged. "That bitch didn't even want child support. He’s basically single again and he can get his dick wet whenever he wants."
"You're telling me... What I wouldn't give to get rid of Jasmine so easily," Steven yammered after him.
Bitch... Get rid of... Dick wet...
I lost it. Before I could rationalize what I was doing or what had happened, Brian laid bleeding on the floor of my office, clutching his nose, partially screaming.
I had Steven pushed up the against the wall with my arm over his neck, snarling in his face, "Don't ever talk about my wife and kid again. "
"You mean, ex-wife and kid, you fucking psycho ? You broke my nose!" Brian's voice was garbled, and I pictured him choking on his own blood. I couldn't help but smile briefly, even as his words hit me.
Ex-wife.
I released Steven and told them both to get the fuck out.
I sat at my desk and started packing everything up that was important. Then, I sent a few emails, including my resignation letter, and never looked back.