Chapter 17
Odette
I couldn’t help but find comfort in Murphy when I heard his confession of why he couldn’t be in the house—it was as if I felt my soul weep right along with him.
A part of me wanted to scream and cry out at him because it was clear what he had done affected him just as much, if not more, as it had affected me.
So why did he do it? Why did he ruin us? I hardly noticed the tears streaming down my face.
“Mom, Dad.”
Lux’s voice shocked me, and I remembered my surroundings. I gave Murphy one last squeeze and couldn’t help but wipe my tears off on his back before I turned to face Lux.
“Yes, kiddo?”
I responded for both of us; I could tell Murphy hadn’t put himself back together enough to respond to Lux.
“What are you guys doing?” She looked over at us from the entryway to the kitchen with a mildly puzzled look on her face.
“We were just catching up.” I have no idea what I’m doing, but she’s six, and she doesn’t need to know that.
“Oookay, am I going back with you tonight?” Her gaze was still shooting between Murphy and me.
I shrugged. “That’s up to you, sweet pea; wherever you’d like to stay tonight we can probably make it happen.
” I turned my own gaze to Murphy and continued, “If you have to go into the office tomorrow, it’s no problem for me to pick her up in the morning.
I feel like it’s my turn to take the day off. ”
Lux giggled from beside me and tugged on my pants. “What office, Mommy? Don’t be silly.”
I quirked my eyebrow at Murphy, only to be met with a shy gaze that had me stumbling over my words. “No office?” I whispered at him, overcome with something.
“It’s a long story, Odette, one I don’t think you’ll have time for, and one that shouldn’t be said in front of little ears.” He covered Lux’s ears in a playful manner that only had her giggles intensifying.
“I’m a big girl! I can listen, I can!”
“Nice distraction tactics, Murph.” I couldn’t help the easy grin that spread, despite the emotionally-charged moment we shared only a few seconds ago.
There was a peace I felt at being in the kitchen with Lux and Murphy—a peace, if I were being honest with myself, that I hadn’t felt in the last few years.
Murphy smiled a wicked grin at me. “We can have that conversation whenever you want, Odette...just name the time and place.”
I felt my face get hot. What did he mean by that? A conversation? A conversation about his job? His life? Is that something I want?
“I can feel you thinking from here.”
I couldn’t help but bite my lip in response, and I noticed how Murphy's eyes tracked it. I witnessed the heat in his gaze, and once he noticed I was watching him, he shook his head and looked a little bashful at being caught.
“Well, Lux, you ready to spend the night with Mom tonight?”
We were met with a sigh. “I guess...”
My heart broke for my girl. I knew it was hard for her to leave her dad sometimes. As much as I wished she was a momma’s girl, she was daddy’s girl through and through. She raised her arms up in a clear sign that she wanted Murphy to pick her up, which he did without a moment of hesitation.
“I love you, baby girl; you be good for your mom, okay? And I’ll see you soon.” He held her as close as he possibly could, very clearly soaking up every last minute.
“Okay, but Daddy, we never got to write in our journals with me being sick.” She detached herself from him enough to look at him. He rested his forehead to hers, and I think my grinch heart grew three sizes.
“That’s okay, bug, we can next time.”
His eyes met mine over her forehead and I mouthed, “Journals?”
“When you’re ready for that conversation, we can talk about that, too.”
Lux yawned before I had time to answer him, thankfully. I still didn’t know what I wanted, but considered my interest…piqued.
I grabbed Lux from his arms, and she settled her head on my shoulder. Knowing she was still under the weather, I was ready to get her home and into bed.
“I’ll…I’ll text you when we get home,” I said in a whisper. “You know, to let you know that she's okay and all settled in.”
I didn’t have to do that, I never really have before—just mild updates here and there, but nothing like this. I knew I didn’t have to, but I wanted to.
“That’d be great. Thanks for coming over.
” Murphy had his hands tucked into his pockets as if he was unsure of what to do with the loss of Lux.
I hitched her up further over my hip as I walked toward the backyard oasis that caused dreamy thoughts on my way to the car.
Lux was already slipping—this child was heavy, even for short distances.
“You need some help?”
“Good lord, Murph, make some noise next time! I had no idea you were behind me.” I was a little peeved that he was seeing me huffing and puffing.
Without warning, Murphy lightly tapped the hip that wasn’t carrying Lux and swooped her effortlessly from my arms, only for Lux to squeal in delight. I finally caught up to them as he was strapping her into her booster seat.
“Will I see you tomorrow, Daddy?”
“Probably not tomorrow, kid, but maybe the next day. I’ll get a hold of your mom, okay?” He tucked a lose hair behind her ear, giving her a look of such devotion, it sent tingles through my heart.
He turned his gaze to me and the emotion I saw reflected in them was almost enough to put me on my knees.
“You drive safe, you hear? My entire world is in that car.” Giving me a very pointed look, leaving absolutely no room for debate that he included me in that statement, he closed Lux in and tapped the roof. “All set.”
Unable to form words, and realizing I had put myself into a situation I didn’t think I was ready to handle, I scooted my ass to the driver’s side and let myself in.
I spent entirely too much time putting my seatbelt on, trying to sort through what just happened, and adjusting my mirrors before I caught a glimpse of Murphy in the rearview mirror, looking as though everything he cared about was driving away from him.