5. Jax
jax
There was something relaxing about this bar, and I just couldn’t put my finger on it. Growing up, it had been the only place in town people could drink and dance, so they had only gotten to come here when they snuck in, in high school.
But now, it was like a gathering place for a lot of families, for friends to catch up, for couples to date, and apparently, for me to get my ass handed to me in darts.
“Aw, come on, Jax,” Logan taunts, taking his spot behind the line and aiming his shot. “You’re just used to being the target, not hitting it.”
I smirk and take a sip of my beer, nodding my head. “Haha. You are hilarious.”
He throws his dart, hitting the outer rim on the bullseye, and I roll my eyes, leaning an elbow against the high-top table and looking over at my cousin, Dani. “He’s such a fucking showoff.”
“It’s what he’s good at.” Dani pats my arm, giving Logan an overexaggerated look. “Don’t pick on him. This is all he has, Jax.”
I laugh with everyone else at Dani’s dig. This was why we got along so well growing up. She was always on my side.
Dani was more like a sister to us brothers growing up, always hanging with us or us with her and my aunt and uncle. Since our dad split when we were young, or mostly split, Dani’s parents had taken care of us many times when my mom had to work.
They never made us feel like we were a burden, always including us, like we were just their sons.
We also all had part-time jobs at their grocery store growing up, so they kept us nice and humble.
I missed Dani, though, while I was gone, and even missed her wedding to CT Trevors, who’d also been a friend as long as I could remember.
Hell, I went on double dates with them with City more times than I can count.
“Dani, just because Jax is back doesn’t mean you can suddenly replace me with him. He’s not that great,” Logan states, pointing at her with a dart-loaded hand.
Dani gasps, placing a dramatic hand over her heart. “I would never.”
I smile at her and watch her husband walk up, placing a glass of water in front of her and smiling fondly at her. Yuck. I hate happy couples.
Hell, the only one not coupled up in our little dart game was Logan, and that’s because his wife was working, not because he was single. I glance over at Stetson, who is holding Bonnie in his arms, smiling at the world around them, and scowl.
I was the only single one in the group.
“Ah!” Dani suddenly screams, making me jump, and then clamps her hand over her mouth and darts around the table to someone we haven’t seen yet. When the crowd parts, my smile disappears and suddenly, Felicity is there, being attacked by my cousin in a friendly hug.
“Fuck,” I mutter, taking a sip of my beer. I feel all the guys looking at me and glance up, giving them a shrug. But I don’t move from my position, allowing my head to fall slightly, the brim of my hat shielding my face.
I do, however, glance at City out of the corner of my eye and see the wig she sported last time long gone. In its place is the honey-blonde hair that I knew to be her natural color.
I really wish she was ugly. Like seriously ugly. Also, it would be nice if her personality really sucked, like she was mean to the homeless and made fun of kids who wore braces.
But of course, that wasn’t her at all.
“I can’t believe you’re here!” Dani says, pulling her by the hand to the group. “Everyone, remember Felicity?” Dani acts like she is the only one who was friends with the girl, and I see under her facade. I don’t say a word in reply to Dani’s announcement, but I feel Felicity’s eyes on me.
“Oh, you must meet Bonnie.” Dani pulls her over to my brother and his girl. Stetson grins and gives her a big hug.
Fucking traitors.
This is my family, and they are just welcoming her home with open arms? What the fuck.
“You okay?” Logan asks, CT by his side-eyeing me as Dani continues chatting her ear off.
“Fine,” I grumble, grabbing the darts from CT. “My turn.”
They look at me hesitantly but thankfully don’t push, and I take my stance, throwing the darts all over the fucking board during my turn because fuck, the jeans that City has on are hugging her ass way too perfectly, and my eyes are having a really hard time focusing on what I need to be doing.
I turn my head away and catch sight of the crowd. Damn near every eye is on her tonight, excitement thrumming through their veins at the idea that someone famous is in their midst.
Why the hell is she here without some sort of protection? Doesn’t she realize how reckless that is?
I want to say something. To reach over and grab her, tucking her safely under my arm away from prying eyes.
I growl under my breath, frustrated with myself. That wasn’t my job anymore.
I hand the darts over to CT and resume my place at the table, focusing intently on the beer I was nursing, not the woman whose eyes I could feel on the side of my face.
Twelve years. Twelve years and she could still get under my skin without even saying a word.
She’s always been able to do it. It was just that now it pissed me off instead of turning me on and making me want to find a wall to press her against.
Fuck.
Why is this happening? I’d come home to find peace, to get to know my family again. Not deal with my ex who, although I would never admit it, is engrained in my soul like a bad splinter I can’t ever seem to remove.
She kept to herself with the girls, but I knew she was watching me. Just like the people in this bar were taking pictures of her and pissing me right off. It didn’t seem to bother her, but I was about ready to go break every cell phone I saw.
I’m able to ignore her for a good portion of the night until she starts to say goodbye, and my heart thumps loudly—just once—in my chest. Something regretful slithers in, coiling tightly around my chest until my mouth opens, and I can’t hold back the words.
“I can walk you out.”
The entire bar freezes at my words. Okay, the entire bar is partying too hard for that kind of statement, but our surrounding friends do briefly pause, glancing back and forth between the two of us, awaiting Felicity’s response.
“Uh…” Her mouth opens, and her tongue sneaks out to lick her lips. Damn it, woman. “It’s okay, Jax. I didn’t park far.”
“Don’t be stupid,” I grumble, ignoring the hurt look on her face at my words. “I’m walking you to the car.”
She gives me a nod and hugs Dani one more time, saying bye with a big smile on her face. Dammit. Why the hell was she still so fucking beautiful?
Weaving our way through the crowd, I push through them, clearing a path for her only to glance back and see people have started to swarm her.
“Dammit, back off!” I raise my voice, demanding the crowd move out of the way and reach back for her hand. Her fingers slide easily into mine, and our eyes meet for a brief second before I pull her to me, keeping her close.
I ignore everything but getting her out of this bar. I ignore her sweet scent, I ignore her soft hair, I ignore the way her hand—her soft as butter hand—feels against my roughly calloused one.
I ignore it all because if I think about it too hard, if I let myself fall into this woman again, she won’t disappear with my heart again—she’ll crush it into a million pieces.
The fresh air hits us, and we start our walk down the sidewalk. I glance over at her, and my eyes track down to where our hands are still together.
I clear my throat and take my hand out of hers, awkwardly swiping at my mouth and turning away again.
There are several people still milling about, given that there’s still a sliver of sun in the sky, and since the end of summer was nearing, people were soaking up their last few days.
I smile at the florist, wave to MaeBelle at the bakery, then turn back to see Felicity doing the same.
She doesn’t speak as we walk up the road, maybe unsure of what to say or do.
Kind of like me right now.
What the hell do I even say to her?
After all these years, I expect to be able to make polite conversation. But there was still something strong lingering under the surface when it came to her, something that prevented me from speaking the truth about how I felt.
“Thank you for walking me. I didn’t think it would get too crazy in there.” Finally, her soft but strong voice says, jolting me from my overworked thoughts.
“No problem,” I reply with a hoarse voice, clearing my throat before I glance back over to her. “You should be careful. You’re well known enough that it could cause problems.”
Felicity clicks her tongue. “That was nothing.”
I shake my head, stuffing my hands in my pockets. “It only takes one crazy person to hurt you.”
We near her mom’s car, and I look at it with sadness. That car has been a part of our lives forever. Mr. Vogel took great care of it for his wife, and Felicity drove it all the time in high school.
“You’re not wrong. I remember this time—” Felicity stops when I turn my gaze on her, her face registering something I’m not even aware of.
“What?”
She shakes her head, a sad smile on her lips. “Nothing. It was…nothing.”
We stand there in silence for a few seconds, her rubbing her hand over her arm and me wondering what the hell I should say.
“Well…” She clears her throat, and when she looks to me, I can see the telltale sign of tears in her eyes. “Thanks for walking me.”
The words are spat out, and her steps move her quickly to the car. Before I can think of anything to say or do to stop her, she’s already got the engine turned over and is pulling away from the curb.
But really, what can I say that won’t just cause a bigger fight?
“Thanks for coming back and rubbing it in my face that you’re successful and didn’t need me for an ounce of that part of your life.”
Yeah, no.
Felicity and I are over. It is time I got that through my head.