18. Jax
jax
Nothing about me should be nervous about meeting Felicity for dinner. But every single nerve is firing, letting me know under no circumstances is chill going to happen.
Ever since that night in the bar when I found out she’d come home, something sparked in my brain, had altered everything I thought I knew about our breakup, about her character. It’s not as if she was in the right, but she had tried correcting her wrong.
And I had made that impossible for her to do. I hadn’t been there, hadn’t been reachable to her in years.
Why would she feel comfortable reaching out anyway, when I did everything I could to block her from my life?
Tonight, in my eyes, is a second chance at the life I always wanted. At the girl—woman—I’ve dreamed of every night since I was fifteen.
Pulling up outside her folks’ house, I steel my nerves, telling myself to get a grip when all I want is for tonight to go well. No fighting. No arguing. Just two people explaining their sides of the story so we can work this out.
Hell. I hope she wants to.
If Felicity and I can do it, then my whole life will change for the better.
I bat that thought away, feeling like a damn hopeless romantic when I really need to get a grip on reality.
Walking up to the front door, I take and release a deep breath, then reach forward and politely rap my knuckles on the door.
Footsteps sound, too heavy for Felicity, and I brace myself for seeing Gerald Vogel, the man who treated me like more of a son than my own father did.
He opens the wooden door and stares at me, a look of indifference on his face. “Jax.” He nods, opening the door and letting me step through.
“Mr. Vogel, how are you doing, sir?”
Gerald looks like he has something he wants to say, and I brace myself for it. This is nothing like how it used to be, and I should have expected that. “Fine. Just didn’t realize you and City were working things out.”
I feel those nerves tick again, making my eyes twitch. “Well, sir?—”
“Jaxon!” Hannah Vogel comes into the front room, her arms open wide and a nice smile on her face. “I haven’t seen you in ages.”
I smile, feeling better with her warmth and familiarity than with City’s dad. I wish he didn’t feel that way toward me, but it is another relationship I am willing to work on. “It’s nice to see you, Mrs. Vogel.”
“Oh honey, call me Hannah. You’re an adult now,” she says, pulling back and squeezing my shoulders.
“What are you doing here?” Gerald asks, and I open my mouth just as soft footsteps sound from the stairs, and Felicity comes into view.
She’s barefoot with a long skirt tucked under an oversized sweater.
Her hair is pulled into a long braid, and a glow covers her supple skin.
She smiles at me when she sees me and rushes down the rest of the stairs.
I brace myself, knowing how this used to go and feel my heart thump when she lands on the ground softly beside me instead of jumping into my arms like she used to.
It is a foreign feeling, us working into a new tradition of things, a new way of seeing each other. There would be no going back to how everything was before, not yet.
“He’s here for me, Dad. We’re going to go grab a bite.” Her simple explanation does nothing to soothe the nerves that seem to be holding me hostage, but I take her lead and relax.
“Can I speak to you for a minute first?” Gerald asks his daughter, giving her a pointed look, and I frown in confusion.
“Dad,” Felicity says, something of a warning in her tone. “It’s fine.”
“City,” he starts, but Hannah presses her hand to his arm. “Gerald, it’s okay. They’re two friends catching up.”
“Definitely,” I say, wishing they weren’t talking in code around me. “I haven’t had a chance before now to get time to catch up with City Girl.”
She smiles at me, and there’s this weird click that sounds in my chest at the thought of her eyes on me, her smile pointed in my direction again.
I have no idea what her folks’ reservations are with me, whether they somehow place blame on me for her leaving or something else, but I’ll work to restore the friendship and respect I had from them.
Felicity turns to me and smiles. “Shall we go?”
“Definitely,” I respond, heading to the door and holding it open, smiling when she slips on her shoes and grabs her bag from the same hook it used to hang from. It is a different bag, probably, but it is still the same routine.
“Be back later. Love you,” Felicity says, and I nod my head at her folks politely before shutting the door behind us.
I don’t say anything until we’re in my truck, Felicity safely tucked into the front seat, seat belt on. Then I pull out onto the street and start heading to my destination.
“That was interesting.” I start, waiting on her to take the lead.
“Sorry, Jax,” she responds, turning in her seat to face me, her bright eyes fixed on mine. “My dad’s been a little protective of me. He wants me to stay hunkered down so I don’t get in trouble with fans or anything.”
“I can understand that. I promise to keep you safe.”
Her voice softens. “I’ve never doubted my safety with you, Jax.”
Something about that statement makes my pulse thrum in my neck, something that says she has felt unsafe with others, and it makes me want to find them and make sure that they have to drink their meals through a straw for several months.
“Well, good,” I say instead, smiling over at her and taking the turn that will lead us to the place I know she hasn’t been in years. “I’m really glad you said yes, by the way.”
She smiles at me, her hand twitching, and I wish like everything she would reach over and clasp her hand in mine. “I’m glad I said yes too.”
We finally make it to the Fall Springs side of the town line, the side that housed the local motorcycle club, the large vet clinic, a small church, the Iron Horse Brewery—which was owned by said motorcycle club—and our favorite place.
Felicity lets out a little gasp. “Clyde’s Diner?”
I laugh lightly, putting the truck in park and making my way around to open her door. “I thought you’d appreciate it.”
“I haven’t been here since—” She stops, her mouth mid-speak, and then shakes her head. “In a long time.”
“I know, City Girl.”
I couldn’t make myself come back here after she left, so I have no idea if it’s still the same old man Clyde who runs it or if he is gone, if it is the same type of food, or if it has changed.
My phone pings with a text alert, and I quickly grab it, checking to see if it is important and feeling my mood shift when I see the message from an unknown number.
“Everything okay?” Felicity asks, not peeking over my shoulder to see what is on my phone like she may have before, and for that I am grateful.
I look to her and back to my phone before closing the screen and shoving it back into my pocket. I am here with a woman that I still fucking love, who is giving me the time of day, who is kind and gracious and willing to sit down and reconnect.
The last thing I need is for my past to come and haunt me now.
“Everything’s perfect,” I say with a smile and then reach for her hand, relishing in the fact that she just happily slips her fingers through mine and allows me to lead the way.
We enter the nostalgic diner, and I smile at the familiarity of it all. I glance around, seeing that there are a few other patrons tonight, but nothing like it used to be. My eyes freeze when they come into contact with someone I recognize.
My brother.
Somehow, with my mind all wrapped around the woman beside me, I must have glazed over the motorcycles outside. Though, with the way she preoccupies my mind, it isn’t really a surprise that I failed to survey the area.
Mitch gives me a nod but turns back to the people he’s with. The Iron Horse Motorcycle Club. His cut on his back matches theirs, and something about it has my stomach taking an uncomfortable dive. Those are his brothers, according to him. His brothers that he trusts more than he trusts me.
I look away, unsure how to feel.
“Is that Mitch?” Felicity asks, happiness in her tone until I look at her face, and she sees my expression. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, just…” I sigh and look back over where Mitch is still watching us. “It’s not really a comfortable situation.”
She looks at me like I’m crazy. “What’s the problem?”
“He’s part of their club now. It’s almost like he’d rather be their family than mine.”
Felicity gapes at me, her shy and sweet demeanor fading when she looks at Mitch. “That’s crazy. Mitch was one of my best friends in high school.”
Then, surprising me, she marches right over to their table, me on her heels trying to get her attention. “City?—”
“Hey-ya, fellas.” Felicity grins and marches right up to my brother, opening her arms and forcing him to stand and hug her if he doesn’t want to look like an asshole. “I haven’t seen you since the festival.”
“I’ve been busy,” is his gruff reply, but he smiles softly at City, showing me a side to him I haven’t seen in years.
“Aren’t you that singer?” someone at the table asks Felicity, making my hackles stand on end.
“Why, yes, I am that singer.” She smiles politely. “Unless you think I’m Madonna. Then no, I’m not. I don’t quite have her bone structure.”
The guys at the table laugh, and her gaze flicks to Mick’s, someone who was in Logan’s class at school. “Hey, Mick, how’s life?”
He nods, a bemused smile on his face. “Not too bad, Felicity. How are you? I hear you’re back in town for good.”
“For better or worse,” she answers slyly, having the boys at the table eating out of the palm of her hand. I don’t blame them.
“Well, we better leave you to it,” she says, looking back at my brother again. “We need to get coffee and catch up.”
My brother, who has been stand-offish with his own entire family for the months he’s been back, looks at her in surprise and then reluctantly nods his head.
“Good.” She takes that as his answer and then turns to me. “Let’s go eat.”
I shake my head and throw a nod at my brother before following behind the woman who is destined to make me crazy for the rest of my life.