24. Jax
jax
It’s been a long time since I woke up with a smile on my face, but the next few mornings after Felicity stayed at my place, that’s exactly what happened.
Reaching for the phone on the nightstand, I open our text threads and grin at the back and forth. We’ve been texting consistently for four days now, and it’s like we picked up where we left off, only this time, we both have jobs keeping us from seeing each other.
When do you get home?
City Girl
As soon as this pilot lets me. I’ve been sitting on the runway for over an hour.
First world problems, City Girl?
City Girl
Yes, yes, I know. I’m spoiled. I’m just ready to be home.
You and me both.
She landed late last night, and her security, Ezra something, insisted on coming to Colorado with her after he’d been stuck in California after she snuck off. I was partly grateful. She needs to be more careful with herself, even here where everyone is mostly chill.
Felicity is still a big-time celebrity. She is on covers of magazines, on billboards. She is a household name, an icon.
It is only a matter of time before someone figures out how accessible she is and uses that to their advantage.
People like my father…
Shit. I can’t help but think that he is going to find out she is home, find out that the same girl I’d been obsessed with in high school is the same one that can solve all of his money problems, if he even remembers who she is.
Not that I would ever let her.
I want her as far away from that asshole as humanly possible.
I think back to the night his guys came to pay me a visit and shake my head, wondering how she let me off the hook so easily.
I fully expected to be grilled that morning when I’d woken up and saw her there, cleaning my freaking apartment—since which I have kept up so she never saw it like that again.
Instead, she had smiled at me, and, for whatever reason, given me an out.
One I took.
Only because I wasn’t ready for whatever we were finally starting to be to become tainted by the memory of that night. She only asked for some time with me that day, and I was prepared to give it to her whether it was lying in bed or walking around the ranch.
I hadn’t wanted her to leave.
Now, I wish she hadn’t.
After she got home, she had meetings with her manager and whatever was said meant she had to get back to California for some things. I didn’t ask for specifics, and she didn’t offer them. We weren’t there—yet.
You’re probably sleeping, but I just wanted to say good morning.
I wait a beat after sending the text before I get up and get ready for the day. I have a full day of work ahead, including doing some things at Felicity’s house. Now that I know it is hers, something in me wants to make sure it’s just perfect for when she moves in.
After showering and changing, I sit down to check my phone, unable to stop the grin from spreading across my lips.
City Girl
I, unfortunately, was awoken by a dream I had about a certain cowboy.
It was Cal, wasn’t it?
I smirk at my joke, referencing CT’s dad.
City Girl
There is just something about that silver fox look. Sexy.
I laugh at her joke, slipping into my boots and leaving the apartment.
Luckily for you, silver runs in the Cash family. So in a couple of years, you’ll have your wish.
City Girl
I have to wait a couple of years? Damn. I was hoping to get started now.
I feel my heart tick, wondering if she is trying to cutely lead to something. I want it bad enough that my palms start to sweat slightly.
How about we hope for the best and start tonight?
City Girl
I think that could be arranged. I’m heading to the city to work in a studio we found, so I may be back late.
You’re taking security?
City Girl
*eye roll emoji* Yes, Dad.
Careful. It’s Daddy to you.
Felicity sends a laughing emoji, and I walk into the barn with a skip in my step. I was smart enough to grab my felt hat and jacket because the quickly approaching winter air had a bite this morning that I wasn’t quite ready for.
It feels like summer just started.
But the prospect of what is ahead gives me a thrill of hope that I haven’t had before the holidays in years. Thanksgiving is only two weeks away, and I am excited to spend it with my family and Felicity.
She may not realize we are going to spend it together, but we are. Even if it has to be late in the day after all the obligations are over, I am seeing that girl.
The barn is full of distractions, and it helps me get through the first part of my day rather quickly.
I work with the wranglers to move some cattle from one pasture closer to the main part of the ranch.
This is where they’ll stay for the next four months, since the grass is dying off on the other parts of the ranch, and the water will be harder to get to.
CT likes to keep them close to keep his eye on them.
I get back to the barn, more than ready to get on the road to the house so I can help Graham out and finish what I am working on for Felicity. It is a surprise, one that I hope she remembers she always wanted to have.
I’m not expecting my brother, Mitch, to be waiting for me when I get to the barn.
I nod my head to him, looking around to see who’s listening, but we’re mostly alone at the end of the barn.
“What’s up?” I ask, keeping my tone casual. I know Mitch is pissed at me. Hell, I am pretty sure he hates me at this point. But I can’t go back and change the past. I can only try to do better in the future.
“Any word?” my brother of few words asks, crossing his arms and watching me untack my horse.
“Nope,” I say, though I wonder when it will happen as well. I have every intention of making sure I’m not so careless from here on out.
“He hasn’t contacted you?”
“He’d have to come here in person to do so,” I say, locking the cinch into place. “I changed my number when I left.” Mostly because the asshole destroyed my phone, and I had to get a new one, anyway. “He can’t just call me.”
“What are you going to do?”
I stop, settling a glare at my brother. “Why do you care?”
He flinches. “You’re my brother.”
“Oh, really?” I say, feeling that familiar anger take over my chest as I give him a sarcastic smile. “I thought that lovely little gang in town are your new ‘brothers.’”
Mitch clenches his jaw and says, “We’re not a gang.”
I scoff. “Yeah, okay. Whatever.”
“Jax, be serious.”
I spin on him. “I am being serious, Mitch. You have a new life, one that doesn’t involve me. I had City call you so that she wouldn’t call the police. That’s it. I don’t need any more help from you, nor do I want it.”
“Jax—”
“Just leave, man! Go back to your club and leave me alone. I don’t need or want your help.
” Anger pulses strongly through my chest, and I wish I didn’t say anything I just said.
It isn’t true. I want his help. I want his friendship again.
I want him to be my brother again. But I’m too fucking embarrassed to ask for it.
I am the one that fucked this up. I am the one who went to the fucking devil of a father we have and took what he gave me.
“Mitch! Hey, man. When are you going to come work for us?” CT’s voice is more jovial than normal, and I know he just heard what I said.
“I don’t think I am,” Mitch says, turning around and walking down the alleyway of the barn and out the door.
I let my head hang for a minute and feel CT clap me on the back. “You good, man?”
Letting out a full breath, I shake my head before slapping a smile on my face. “Yeah. Fine.”
Though I’m pretty sure he doesn’t believe me, CT leaves me to myself, letting me wallow in the shitstorm that I caused.
I hurry through the rest of my work with my mind on one thing and one thing only, focusing on taking care of Felicity.
She is the only good thing I have left.