26. Felicity
felicity
We are three hours into a session where Phil and I are stuck on a particularly tricky verse when Juniper shows up. I watch her take in the studio, her eyes big with excitement as her hands tuck into the front pocket of her jacket.
“June!” I exclaim as she comes into the room, grateful for the reprieve as I stand and hug her tightly. “I’m so glad you came.”
My smile turns brighter when her sister steps into the room behind her, Annmarie, I think. “Hi!” I say, hugging her as well, much to her surprise. She stiffens in my arms, and I take a step back, welcoming them into the room.
“Gavin, we’ll take a few minutes break if you want to go check on that other group?” I ask, giving him a polite dismissal. I was actually growing fond of the man, but I wasn’t quite ready to announce my pregnancy to everyone yet.
Gavin gives a salute, leaving without another word, and the girls sit on the couch, looking over everything. Phil shakes their hands and turns to me. “I think I’ll go grab a coffee. You girls want something?”
I bite my lip, wishing I could get one, but since I’ve already had one, I shouldn’t. He gives me a wink and says, “Decaf for you.”
Smiling gratefully, I nod at him, and Juniper and Annmarie give him their orders before turning to me.
Phil knows about the pregnancy. I told him out in LA a couple of weeks ago.
I needed him to know so that I could have someone not question me when I went to the bathroom a million times—something that was increasing at an alarming rate over the last couple of weeks—or when I had to make Ezra make cravings runs in the middle of a session.
He’s been great about it, not even making comments about the fact that Zack is the father, a guy he’d warned me about two years ago and I’d ignored because I thought it was something it wasn’t.
“So, how are you feeling?” Juniper asks, turning to me, her bright eyes taking me in. “It’s so amazing that you’re doing your next album here.”
“It’s turned out to be a great place.” I grab my water bottle and fold my legs under myself, getting situated on the overstuffed chair that’s become my chair. “I love the proximity to home.”
Annmarie nods. “Yeah, I thought it would be further.”
“Not too bad,” I say, looking down at the lyrics on pages covering the little table I had them bring in. “If this song lets me finish writing it, we’ll be golden.”
Juniper twists her hands, her eyes on the page. “Do you mind?”
My eyes widen. “Not at all.” I gesture for her to go ahead, loving watching that young fire burn in her that used to burn in me. I wasted years chasing the fame that came with being a good musician, a good songwriter. I wish I would have done what she is, taking it slow, one day at a time.
“So…preggo, huh?” Annmarie asks, crossing a leg over another.
“Annie! I said don’t say anything.” Juniper’s face flames in embarrassment, and I smile at her.
“It’s okay. I assume all your sisters know?” If they do, Thea, Juniper’s older sister, will tell Logan, Jax’s brother, and it won’t take more than a phone call before he knows.
My heart rate speeds up at the knowledge, and the urge to run out of this studio to call Jax is strong, but I manage to stay seated.
“No, I swear,” Juniper says, glaring at her sister before turning her pleading eyes on me. “I just told her on the way here because I didn’t want her to say anything if she saw your…well, the bump.”
Annmarie rolls her eyes at Juniper’s glare and sighs. “Okay, sorry. Just elephant in the room, much?”
I let my shoulders relax and smile at Juniper. “It’s fine, really.” I rest my hand over my bump and give it a look. I’ve been feeling her move in me for a month now, and it is such a strange feeling to know that there is a baby in there.
“I need to start letting everyone know,” I tell her. “I’m proud of this little bump, even if no one knows about her.”
Juniper’s eyes widen. “It’s a girl?”
I laugh, realizing that I need to stop saying that given that I haven’t found out yet. Last week, I went to the doctor, and they offered to tell me, but I’d been alone. I don’t want to do that without someone holding my hand. I want my mom there, at least.
Otherwise, I may just let it be a surprise. “No. Well, I don’t know yet. Just a feeling,” I say, repeating the line I told my parents just two months ago.
I can’t believe I’ve been here for over three months, that I’ve got a quickly growing baby, that I have friends I feel I can trust, a house that will be done in the next two days, and maybe even a guy willing to stick with me.
Life is moving faster than I am ready for, but ready or not, here it comes.
“Graham,” I gasp, spinning in a circle, looking at every single detail. There are cream-colored walls with an accent wall with dark floral wallpaper that holds a gold-framed mirror.
Diagonal to that wall is a brick fireplace that has a light wood mantelpiece, ready to be decorated with picture frames and trinkets. There is original hardwood flooring throughout the living room and extending into the small dining room, transitioning to tile when I walk into the kitchen.
The cabinets are light green, the cream walls again in the kitchen, with shiplap on the ceiling, making it look cozy and the home feel complete.
“I have no words,” I tell him, holding a hand half over my mouth as I look in awe at the transformation the house took.
“That’s a good thing, I hope,” Graham says, looking bashful and proud at the same time.
“It’s an amazing thing,” I reply, my head nodding vigorously.
I turn my belly on display in my long-sleeved dress.
I won’t wear this out in public yet, because it is very obvious that I am pregnant, and I don’t miss the way Graham quickly diverts his gaze.
I rest my hand over my stomach and say, “It’ll be perfect for us. ”
Graham, seemingly relieved that I called myself out, says, “Actually, that third bedroom will be perfect.”
I frown. “You got it all done too?”
“The house is one hundred percent livable,” he answers, shocking me as he leads me down the hallway to the three rooms.
We enter the first room off the hallway, and I gape in shock at the pale pink, almost white, blush walls. A large desk that sits in the middle of the room takes me off guard, as do the guitar hooks hanging on the wall in perfect order, ready for instruments.
“How did you know about the pink?” I ask him, completely shocked. Ever since I can remember, that color has been my favorite. It is feminine and a dainty color that most wouldn’t pick, but I absolutely love it.
“Actually, Jax picked the color and got the desk and the guitar equipment,” he says, making my arms go limp. I’ve never been so surprised in my life.
“How did he do that?” I ask, still completely out of words.
Graham grimaces. “I thought maybe he knew you well. I don’t remember you two so much, but my brother says there’s history.” He shakes his head. “I’m so sorry. I can take all of this out right now if you don’t?—”
“No,” I interrupt, giving him an almost giddy smile, and laugh at the man who is making me swoon without even being here. “It’s absolutely perfect.”
Graham lets out a breath and nods. “Good. Then let’s show you the rest, ’cause I think you’ll enjoy it.”
He walks me down to the last two rooms, and I take in the large master bedroom.
Its en suite is in pristine order with large mirrors, a deep soaker tub, a tiled shower, and a vase of flowers sitting on the counter.
The bathroom is bright and has plenty of space for moving around.
The master bedroom has wainscotting on the walls and a beautiful light hanging in the middle of the ceiling.
I’d paid to have air conditioning running throughout the house, so I opted out of the ceiling fan in this room.
There are floor-length curtains already hung, making the room feel cozy.
We walk out of the master after I gush to Graham over his amazing work, and I walk into the blank room. It is large enough for a king bed plus some.
But that’s not what will go in here.
A crib, a rocking chair, a changing table, and books and toys. Little tiny clothes that I can’t even believe will fit a baby, soft cream curtains, and dark green walls that haven’t been painted just yet. That is something I want to do myself.
A tear escapes my eye as I spin in the room, picturing everything exactly the way I want it.
“You knocked it out of the park,” I say, shrugging with a laugh.
“You two will be very happy here.” Graham smiles kindly. “And now my wife is going to want me to change our whole house.”
I laugh with him, and we make our way back to the kitchen. He pauses by the back door. “I’ll head out now.” He peeks through the door. “But there’s one more thing here that Jax did for you. I just figure you’d like to look by yourself.”
I frown but give Graham a hug and thank him again before he lets himself out, and I make my way onto my newly refurbished back deck.
I see that Graham and his crew cleaned up back here.
There is a noticeable yard now, though the grass is brown with the season.
The trees that would be full of bright green leaves in the spring are half full of leaves.
The privacy fence is fixed now, with reinforced steel pipe and two more feet of length on it.
Ezra may have had a hand in that, especially given the severe security gate that is now leading into the backyard from the side of the house.
But there, behind one of the large trees, is a greenhouse.
I gasp as I take it in, looking in shock at the obvious flowers that are growing inside of it.
I walk over, open the door to the greenhouse, and gape at the amount of flowers. They are all in pots, lining the shelves and floor to the point that you can only walk down the narrow aisle. “Peonies,” I whisper, my eyes stinging with tears at the sight of my favorite flowers.
There is a note on the far side of the wall.
Hello City Girl,
I know we were just kids, but I remember you telling me how, when you had your own house, you would have a greenhouse full of flowers.
This is your greenhouse full of your favorite flowers.
I wanted to give you a flower for every day we were apart, but 4,537 days is a long time.
Instead, I’ll just say this. I never want to go that long without you again.
I know this is new again. I know we have a lot to discuss.
Just know, I want to have that (and many other) conversations.
Until…forever.
Love,
Jax
Tears fall freely from my eyes, and I text Jax immediately, asking him to come over. If I needed a sign of when to tell him everything, the things he’s done for me here, at my home, are more than enough.