30. Felicity
felicity
It’s late by the time we make it home from our many Thanksgiving dinners, and I can’t remember the last time I felt so complete. And so full.
“Why did you let me eat the second piece of pumpkin pie?” I groan, stepping into my bathroom and peeling off the dress I wore all day. It was a comfortable sweater-material dress, but even it felt tight after three full Thanksgiving meals, plus dessert.
“One piece was for you,” Jax replies, sounding more amused than he should. I glare at him in the mirror, and he grins right back, crossing his arms and leaning against the doorway. “The second piece was for little man there.” He nods to my belly, and I roll my eyes, smiling at the comment.
“It’s not a boy. I’m telling you, I feel like it’s a girl.” I rub said belly, seeing myself in the mirror and telling myself to admire the way that my body is changing.
It wasn’t an easy thing to do. My body was changing, and not all of it felt very nice, but I was doing everything I could to keep a positive mindset about it.
“Nope. It’s a boy,” Jax says, coming up behind me and wrapping his arms around my waist. Our eyes connect in the mirror. “I can feel it too, in my gut.”
I turn to face him, reveling in the feeling of his hands sliding against my bare skin. The intimacy of the moment felt good. “Are we going to discuss your comment from earlier?”
Jax smiles, rubbing his hands over me in a slow and sensual way, his forehead nearly touching my own. “Which comment would that be?”
I drop my shoulders and give him a deadpanned look that makes him grin wider. “You know what comment, mister.”
“About you having in-laws?”
I push his shoulder with my finger. “Yes, that one.”
“What would you like to discuss?” he asks, slipping his hands over my shoulders and massaging the tension out of them. He moves then, walking to my large tub—that was completely worth the money I spent—and running a bath.
“Just the fact that you basically announced to your cousin that we were getting married.” I phrase it almost like a question, and he doesn’t seem to be bothered in the least that that’s what he did. Not that I was bothered by it, but it absolutely caught me off guard.
Jax stands, wiping his hands on a towel after checking the water temp.
I wasn’t dismissing the fact that the man had taken care of me every moment today.
Heck, since he found out I am pregnant, he has bent over backward to make sure I am comfortable.
After our first night together, he helped me finish painting the nursery.
When my furniture set for the living room came, he wouldn’t let me lift a finger and set everything up, listening to me change my mind about where I wanted everything to go at least ten times before I liked it, and he never once complained.
My bedframe came just yesterday, and by the time Ezra brought me home for the evening, the entire set was up and cozy.
Jax moves to stand in front of me again, his eyes raking over my nearly naked body, making the heat between my legs intensify without barely any thought.
Another downside, or perk, depending on how you look at it, is the way pregnancy made me one horny lady.
“I have no problem announcing to the world what I want in life,” he says, hooking his fingers into the sides of my underwear.
“As far as I’m concerned, you and I are end game.
” He takes a knee in front of me, my butt resting against the edge of the vanity.
“This baby just speeds it up a little, City, but I’ve always known that I could and wanted to spend my life with you. ”
My eyes snap to his, and I realize that my eyes closed while I felt his fingers trailing down my legs. My thighs already tremble at the thoughts of what he plans to do while on his knees. My panties discarded, I keep my eyes on his and rake my nails through his hair.
“How can you be so sure about me?” I ask, a hint of hesitancy in my tone.
I’m not scared of being with Jax. But I am a little nervous that when the baby comes, he might change his mind on what he wants.
That is unfair of me, I realize, because he isn’t the reason we didn’t work. I am. I ended this relationship. Jax wanted to keep it.
I had to have just a little more faith.
“I’ve never once doubted my love for you, City. And…” He pauses, pressing a kiss to my inner thigh, his strong, calloused hands hooking around the back of my knees. “I’ve never doubted your love for me, either.”
I open my eyes again and feel the threat of tears wanting to spill. “You haven’t?”
“Never,” he says, leaning forward until the heat of his mouth hits my center.
“I do love you, Jax. I always have.” I tremble out, my hand still in his hair and my other hand holding me up against the vanity.
“I know, baby.” He kisses me where I’m throbbing. The intensity of how slow he is moving makes me wish he would move, use a hand, a finger, a tongue, anything. “I love you, too.”
Then he hooks my right leg over his shoulder, fully opening me to him, and licks up my seam, pulling a gasp from my lips. I hold on to him and the counter tighter, trying desperately not to suffocate the poor man when all I want is to lay myself on this floor right here and let him take me.
I faintly hear the sound of the bathtub running and glance over, seeing that it’s nearing full. “The tub.”
I feel Jax grin at my comment, and he mumbles, “Guess I have a time limit.”
Then he gets to work. His hand that’s on the side of the propped leg holds my ass cheek, and his other hand works between my legs, a finger sliding into my center, making me moan at the slow, delicious torture. He works his tongue over my clit, making me tremble harder.
My leg shakes, and he adjusts it over his shoulder again, making me more comfortable. Then he slips another finger inside of me, working in and out, his tongue working magic against me.
I feel my orgasm coursing through me rapidly, the pounding sound of the tub nearly full somehow amplifying the moment. He removes his fingers, replacing them with his tongue, and that’s when my back bends, unable to stay upright as my orgasm hits.
Jax never stops. He keeps his tongue firmly in place until I’ve calmed enough for him to stand, steadying me on my feet before quickly turning off the tub and pulling the plug for some of the water to drain.
He grins over at me sheepishly. “Close one.”
I turn to him, ravaged and relaxed, and laugh at his expression. “Too close.”
“Nah.” He winks over at me. “It was a fun challenge.”
I laugh some more, and then he comes over to me, removing my bra and carrying me to the tub before stripping off his clothes and getting in with me, his legs bracketing my own as he rubs his hands over my now naked body.
Between the day and the orgasm, I feel like I could fall right to sleep here in this tub.
“So we should probably discuss names,” Jax says, running a rag over my arm. The smell of jasmine and honey envelops my senses, and I close my eyes, the entire day catching up to me.
“I was thinking Palmer was nice,” I say, my voice barely above a whisper as I fight to stay awake.
“Palmer is nice, but for a boy, it’s not very manly.”
I scoff, feeling his cheeks move against the side of my head, telling me he’s smiling at his own comment. “We don’t know if it’s a boy.”
“When can we find out?” he asks, making me open my eyes and turn to face him.
“You want to come with me to my next appointment?” I don’t explicitly know what he’s saying, but it kind of sounds like it.
“Definitely,” he says, looking surprised at my question. “I want to be there for all of them.”
I squint, trying to understand how I could have gotten so lucky to find Jax again at this point in my life. There was something that told me to come home when I found out that I was pregnant, when I found out that Zack was cheating. There was this internal push that made me need to come home.
I have to wonder if that’s the universe’s way of putting the two of us back together.
“Okay,” I answer quietly, trying to hide a grin.
“How about Ace?” he asks, rubbing my shoulder. “That’s a good boy name.”
“Ace?” I wrinkle my nose. “Ace Vogel?”
“Eh, or Cash,” he says, and I feel him smiling again. “If that works out that way.”
I sigh, wishing there weren’t so many issues when it came to that. The idea that he wants to marry me, that, so soon after we officially got together, we are talking about this should scare the shit out of me, but it is mostly the fact that things aren’t settled yet with Zack that I am concerned.
“Maybe so,” I say instead of bringing up the issue crossing my mind and enjoying the moment. Just this once.
“Or Rad. Rad Cash is a fucking sick name.”
I laugh, letting myself sink back into his embrace and talk about baby names and, for once, just allow myself to feel normal, happy, and loved.
When we’d been at my folks for Thanksgiving, my father had given me a box filled with random mail from over the last decade. I smile as I open the box, riffling through the mail and throwing away junk in the trash can under my desk.
It’s the day after Thanksgiving, and Jax is already at the ranch, but since the studio is closed, I have the day off and decided to get some things done around my house. Baby is coming soon, and I want to be prepared.
My hand pulls out another envelope, one I’m prepared to throw away when the penmanship of my name has me pause.
“How come you didn’t answer my letters?”
“What letters?”
“I sent you some letters.”
I gasp, ripping open the first one and feeling a wave of emotion come over me as I read it. It was from Jax.
City Girl,
Man, I wish I knew if you were getting these. Then I would know if you were ignoring me or if these were just going into a void, never to be read.
I miss the hell out of you.
I think about you all the time, even now.
I know that’s stupid, given that you’re off living your life without me.
I still don’t believe it most days. I sit around wondering what I did wrong all the time.
Was it something I did? Will you ever tell me?
Things are fine here, I guess. I got rammed into a fence, and the pain is horrible. I wish you were here. Or I was wherever you are.
I miss you.
Guess I said that already.
Love,
Jax
Tears spring from my eyes, sliding down my cheeks as I read note after note. Some are long, some are short, but each one tells me the same thing. Jaxon Cash never forgot about me, and I crushed him.
I knew it before. I knew I hurt him and made him doubt himself.
But knowing something and seeing it firsthand are very different.
I wipe my eyes, then close them and take a deep breath. I don’t deserve this man.
He is so forgiving, so trusting. He came back into my life rightly pissed, and now I really did understand why he was so mad at first. He was heartbroken.
I open the next note.
City Girl,
I saw you on TV.
It was completely random. I’d gone to a bar with some friends. Well, I guess they’re friends, more like people I have to travel with.
Anyway, I was sitting there, watching some game when I saw a preview for a movie, and your face popped up.
Holy shit, Felicity. You’re doing it. I know I don’t have a right to feel this way,
or maybe I do. I don’t really know.
But I’m proud of you.
It couldn’t have been easy to leave, and I’m still hurt you didn’t want me to be part
of your plans, but I’m still proud.
I miss you every minute, City Girl.
Every damn minute.
Love,
Jax
I close my eyes, leaning my head back against my desk chair, and take deep breaths. This man is too perfect, too good for me.
But I will spend the rest of my days earning the love he so freely gives me.