Chapter 17 #3
‘Don’t. Fucking. Call. Me. That.’
‘I did it for you.’
I spring up from the ground and crash him back against the pillar, holding his throat.
‘Don’t you dare put this shit on me.’ I clench my fist, and it takes every ounce of strength I can muster not to crash it into his fucking jaw.
‘You’re not my father.’ I ram my forearm into his throat, rocking his head back against the concrete again, then I let him go.
‘Clark, you know you can’t tell her.’
I brace my palms against the wall, my back to him. ‘Maybe I will, maybe I won’t.’
‘You won’t because you know what it would mean if she talks. For this family, the business.’
‘For you.’
‘And for me.’
Bile rises in my throat. ‘You son of a bitch. I can’t be with her and not tell her. You know that. It’s four years ago all over again.’
‘No, son, four years ago, I shielded you from the truth. If you’d have stayed away from her, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. You brought this on yourself.’
The door to the driving range bangs shut behind him. I pick up the first thing I see, a bucket of golf balls, and crash it against the wall. I watch the balls roll until everything is still and the sound of my own thoughts perforates my ears.
I need to drive. Fast. To anywhere, nowhere, I don’t fucking know. I storm through the house, desperate to get to my car and get out of here.
‘Clark, Elspeth said you were here.’
I stop in the hallway and stare at my mother as she comes down the open staircase. I used to feel sorry for her. Now, I look at her fastening pearls around her wrist, and I feel numb.
As soon as the engine roars, I’m leaving dust behind me as I burst from the driveway and out onto the open road.
I drive for more than an hour. It makes no difference to my mood, and it doesn’t solve the problem. I can’t bid with Dayna. Even if I try, he’s right, the board will follow him and veto the decision. I don’t even want the well, or Layton Oil. I want out of it all.
All my life. Everything. It feels like a lie. It has been a lie.
I rest my elbow on the window frame and rub my mouth with my fingertips.
There’s only one thing I want. One person.
He’s right. The bastard’s right. I can’t tell her. He could be prosecuted for manslaughter, or worse, murder. I hate him. But he’s my father. My blood.
I pull over to the side of a country road and just sit, staring at nothing.
I have to tell her we can’t bid. But she can’t go in with the government. I have to get through to her.
And then I have to walk away. Because I can’t be with her and lie. I can’t keep something as big as this from her.
Everything she’s doing, all her vengeance, it’s because she thinks one man killed her father.
It wasn’t just one man.
My own father had a hand in sabotaging Little Princess.
* * *
Teddy gave me Dayna’s address two hours ago. It’s taken me that long to build up the courage to drive to her apartment block, and now I’m sitting outside, not able to get out of the car.
There’s no other way.
It’s like I’m having an out of body experience when I hear her voice come over the intercom. ‘Hello.’
I hang my head. I can’t do it.
‘Hello?’
‘Dayna, it’s Clark.’
She’s already at the door of her apartment when I step out of the lift. Even in lounge pants and a vest, with her hair bunched on top of her head, she’s gorgeous. That goddamn captivating smile is drawn on her lips. Then it fades. ‘Is everything okay?’
I move inside and close the door behind me, watching her the entire time.
‘Why do I get the feeling you’re going to tell me something I don’t want to hear?’
I take a breath. ‘I’m not. Not if you hear me out.’
‘Okay.’
‘I think we should pull our bids. Both of us. The figures don’t stack up, Dayna. You know it, and I know it.’
Panic flashes across her face. ‘Clark, I need this. I’ve told you.’
‘No. You don’t need to run a loss, Dayna.
Just listen to me. If we don’t pull out until the last minute, Caspar will probably up his bid.
He wants to win now, and he won’t be thinking about the money, he’ll only be thinking about your deal with Hassan.
If we pull out, Caspar will win, and he’ll have spent so much money to rank first that there’s no chance he can turn a profit.
That’s how we win, Dayna. We outsmart him. ’
Guilt tears through my gut. What I’m saying is right, but I feel like I’m lying to her already. I can’t stand it. It was the only way I could think to protect her and not have to lie directly, or maybe worse, tell her the truth.
She looks up at me, wide-eyed, vulnerable. ‘So… you don’t want to put in a joint bid?’
I don’t understand why she asks, why she needs more confirmation, and the look she gives me – desolate, crushed – it will haunt me for the rest of my messed-up existence.
‘I think you should go.’
Even though I knew it was coming, her words cut me deep. I reach out to touch her but she turns away from me.
‘Please. Go.’
I take her in one last time, trying to memorise everything about her before I walk away for the last time.
I love you so much, it’s agony.