Chapter 21
DAYNA
I open the door to my apartment and look around the space. Nothing’s changed, yet it’s different. It feels different, looks different.
With a glass of wine half-drank on the side table, I run a bath and lie back in the dark. I slip down under the water, my hair fanning around my shoulders, wishing the alcohol would kick in and numb me.
I slide further, until the water covers my face. When my body needs to take a breath, I stay there, my arms floating up to the surface of the water. As my lungs scream for air, I stay there.
I’ve asked myself so many times, How could he do this? How could my father know he was killing himself, leaving me, and do it anyway?
Lying here, drowning in betrayal and deception, I understand.
The intercom sounds, dragging me from my trance. I sit up quickly and breathe rapidly, holding my throat.
I climb out of the bath, wrap a towel around me, and head into the lounge. I hit the lights, dimming them quickly when the brightness irritates my pupils.
‘Hello?’
‘Dayna, Christ.’ Teddy exhales, long and hard. ‘Let me in before I kick my way in. I swear to God I will bring this place down.’
‘I don’t want to see anyone, Teddy, least of all you.’
‘Dayna, I didn’t know. Open the door.’
‘No.’
‘Open the door right now, Dayna. You know this is nothing to do with me. I want to see you.’
Dropping my head to my hand on the intercom, I battle with myself. He’s still Teddy. Whether it’s the right decision or not, my thumb presses the button.
I quickly switch my towel for leggings and an oversized jumper then answer the door. I don’t know what to say to him, so I leave him there and head into the kitchen for another wine glass, filling one for Teddy and topping myself up.
The best thing about Teddy being adopted is that I don’t see Arthur’s deceitful face when I look at my friend.
‘Seems like you and Clark have the same idea,’ he says, sitting in the corner of the sofa closest to my chair. ‘Drink yourself into an oblivion.’
‘Yeah, well, that’s always been Clark’s way.’ I pull my knees onto the sofa and hold up my wine glass. ‘This is a new development.’
‘I’ve called you fifty times, Dayna. Rachel has tried you. Clark is going out of his mind.’
I scoff. ‘My fault, I guess, all of this.’
‘Stop being so hard. Everyone is hurting. You’re not the only person who was lied to.’
I don’t raise my voice to match his. I don’t have the energy.
‘“Lied to” is an understatement, Teddy. I just found out my dad was a cunning, manipulative cheat. He let me think all these years that my mum left me and didn’t love me.
Hell, he created a situation where I don’t think the two of us can ever have a relationship.
Worse than that, I find out his best friend in the whole world, the man I’ve trusted with my own life, my company, everything, gave Caspar Kahn and Harold Layton what they needed to sabotage my dad.
’ I kick my legs out from under me and move to the window.
‘He killed himself because he found out his best friend betrayed him. And for what? Money!’
‘Dayna—’
‘Was it worth it? My dad’s life and the lives of all those people on Little Princess, for a retirement fund?’
‘Nothing is worth that.’ He stands and comes next to me in the window. ‘I’m not here to defend my dad. I can’t even stand to look at him. But know that he’s sorry, truly sorry.’
I search Teddy’s big brown eyes and find honesty. Every limb in my body aches. ‘How did you find out?’
‘Clark told me. He was worried about you and asked me to come straight over. When you weren’t here, I figured you’d go to my dad.
So I went there.’ He shakes his head and takes a large drink of wine.
‘He was inconsolable. I know it doesn’t change things, but you should know that.
He told me how he’d given Caspar the information he needed. He regrets what he did.’
‘Did he know what they were going to do?’
He shrugs. ‘I don’t think he thought beyond the money. I can’t defend him, I won’t even try, but I don’t think he could have anticipated the explosion and the extent of the damage they caused.’
‘The deaths. They murdered people, Teddy.’
His chest rises with his breath. ‘Are you… going to do anything about it?’
I scoff. A sound that’s empty, sardonic. ‘That’s why you really came? To find out if I’d report them to the police?’
‘You know that’s not why I’m here.’
‘Then why are you here, Teddy?’
‘Because you’re my friend. This doesn’t change how much I care about you. I understand that you don’t want to see people, especially not me, but you can’t hate me for something I didn’t do or know about, Dayna.’
I finish my wine and head to the kitchen to refill my glass. ‘I don’t hate you,’ I tell him as I walk away.
He’s on the sofa when I come back into the lounge with the remainder of the bottle of red and place it down on the coffee table.
‘It makes sense now, doesn’t it? Why Harold Layton hates me.’
Teddy nods. ‘It doesn’t justify what he did, not even close, but love does crazy things to people.’
I turn on the TV, pull my legs up to the chair and rest my chin on my knees. ‘Is Clark okay?’
‘He’s finding solace in Jack and tearing up his apartment.’
‘He really didn’t know.’
Teddy shakes his head. ‘His mother had an affair and his father’s a filthy bastard. He’s dealing with a lot of shit, too.’
I train my attention on the TV as a comedian-cum-talk-show-host announces a new guest.
‘You know why he told you, don’t you?’
I keep my eyes focussed on the chat show I’m not watching.
‘He didn’t have to, Dayna. He knew that once he told you, he’d lose you.’
‘That’s hardly a concession. He didn’t want me.’
Teddy reaches for the remote and hits the off button, throwing the remote to the far end of the sofa so I can’t reach it. ‘Listen to me.’
I turn to him, his face blurred by my tears.
‘He didn’t have to tell you. You know what Harold is like. Clark has gone against his family, and when Harold finds out… I don’t know what will happen. Clark has truly defied Harold’s orders, for the first time ever. He chose you over his family. He put you first.’
‘He pulled out of the joint bid, Teddy. You said it yourself. He was going to bid because he wanted to keep me safe, because he thought he loved me. But he pulled out. He doesn’t love me. He doesn’t want me.’
‘Dayna, even you can see this, surely? He told you the truth because he thought you deserved to know. He couldn’t go ahead with that bid.
Harold still has all the power in Layton Oil, and he would have stopped it.
Clark had no choice. He tried to find another way to give you what you want without hurting you.
And he’s right. If Caspar wins the well with a higher bid, he’ll fail. That’s how you win.’
‘Even if that were true, why come back? Why tell me about Little Princess?’
‘Because he loves you. He couldn’t be with you and live a lie. He gave up on what he wants so he could do what’s right by you. He wants you.’
My clouded eyes clear as water drops onto my hand.
‘We could never be together. Not now. I could never be part of that family.’
‘I’m pretty sure he doesn’t want to be part of that family either, but there are some things you don’t chose and can’t fight.’
I stare at him, or maybe through him, chewing over his words.
Eventually, he leans down to the other end of the sofa to retrieve the remote. ‘Right, what shall we watch?’
I offer him as much of a smile as I can manage as he scrolls through movies.
‘Have you eaten?’
‘I had lunch with Mum and Anna.’
He raises his eyebrows.
‘Yep. It was going well until one of Anna’s friends blurted out that Constance Hamilton is broken-hearted because some whore called Dayna Cross slept with her almost-husband.’
Teddy throws his head back on a laugh. ‘You’re having a good week.’
Despite myself, I chuckle. ‘What the hell, might as well find solace in sugar and salt, too.’ I head to the kitchen and open my junk drawer. ‘Thai or Chinese?’
* * *
I wake in my clothes, my legs partly twisted in my duvet. It takes me a second to recognise my bedroom. Another second for the pounding red-wine headache to hit. I lick my dry lips and swallow, tasting last night’s green curry. Nice.
Shuffling into the lounge, I start to tidy away the remnants of our takeaway. Yvette had tried to make a start when she came to pick up Teddy, but I told her to stop. Now, I kind of wish I’d let her clean, because the leftovers are turning my stomach.
I take the three empty wine bottles and stack them on one end of the bench to put in the recycling later.
Last night, Sangiovese seemed to numb my pain. Today, it only adds to it. I’m spent after two minutes cleaning and fall to the sofa with a bottle of coconut water, staring at my laptop on the dining table. Tomorrow, the results of the tender will be revealed.
I can’t shake the feeling that I haven’t done the right thing.