Reckless

Chapter 3

While Jude goes into the bathroom, I wander away from the RV. It’s another gorgeous day today. I had to stop at the layover because I am behind schedule due to a traffic accident further back on the Interstate. I hadn’t been asleep long when my sensors went off, alerting me to movement outside.

It’s an upgrade I added after I bought it. There is a security camera inside too. I watched the man down by the water long before he turned his attention to the RV.

Watching him attempt to drink the water had me laughing. This isn’t a guy who’s been out in the wilderness a lot. It took him a while to focus on the RV. I decided then he wasn’t someone I need to worry about.

Be wary of, sure, I’ve learnt that over the years, but if he was going to kill me, he would have done it before the sun got any higher. When there was less chance of witnesses passing by. I just couldn't figure out why he was here.

Our conversation earlier comes back to me, about how people have to be so cautious these days. Especially women. Everyone gets twitchy for the three months when I set out in the RV, because I’m alone. It’s a tradition. I will not let fear change it. But I will adapt to the times.

I turn back and look at the RV. Not that I have a reason to be scared. I know exactly who is in there. I did a good job not letting on. It seems like he needs that.

Like the rest of the world, at least the side that is into their music, I’ve read the recent announcements about Reckless Soul taking a break. They’ve cancelled all of their summer shows. The official line is burnout.

Looking at Jude, I can see that is a broad brush catch all to keep the focus off him. Or support him. He’s struggling.

I’m not sure stealing him away from this person he was at the party with is the right move to make. At least if I get him somewhere safer than the middle of the forest, he can contact people he knows who will help him. Part of me regrets lying about not knowing him. I should come clean, but his hesitancy made me not let on.

I tried not to look at him as a rock band’s lead singer and star of millions of women’s wet dreams. I’d focused on the man he introduced himself as. Jude.

Does he really want to walk away from his life? He did last night. He made a stupid decision, walking into the wilds of Montana in the middle of the night. There are wild animals in these woods. They would usually stay away from humans, but you can never be too careful. He is lucky I stopped over.

Usually, I don’t like stopping at places like this, not on lone stretches of highway where I can’t park far enough away from the road.

Driving any longer was not an option. I’d rather take my chances with all my security, than fall asleep at the wheel and cause a wreck like the one I passed a few miles back.

My situation isn’t as extreme as Reckless Soul’s sounds. When I told him I set out on the road, it’s more to do with feeling caged than everything getting on top of me.

I’ve always loved to travel. It is something I caught from my parents. We went on vacations all the time when I was growing up. Overseas and at home.

My chosen career gives me the means and opportunity to do what I love. A writer’s life is often a lonely one. It’s not like I go to an office full of people every day. There are people around me. I have a PA and publicist and I’ve built up a street team of fans who love to read my books and help me out prior to releases. They’ve become good friends over the years.

No one understands that getting out on the road is a different kind of solitude. It’s hard to explain, but I’ve been doing it for five years and always feel invigorated and reborn when I get back.

And it’s not always lonely. I meet new people all the time. I’ve made one lifelong friend along the way, even though we’ve not seen each other for a few years now. She had twins, which makes it impossible for her to travel like she used to. I try to catch up with her whenever I can.

Over the years, I’ve come across a lot of different people.

None of them like Jude. I’ve never met anyone like him before. One of the most famous, desired men on the planet, albeit a little broken.

Yeah, I’m attracted to him. Lying to myself is pointless. The man is sex on legs. I love his voice. He’s been praised for his range for years. He can sing like an angel one minute, and scream like a demon the next. I’ve seen women make fools of themselves on social media, saying sick things about what they want to do to him. Watched their meteoric rise after one song went viral. Seen other bands try to emulate them. No one comes close.

The wind picks up, blowing my hair in my face again. I need a hair tie. And I really need to go if I want to get back on my schedule. I don’t want to get too caught up in the sexy rock star who landed on my doorstep.

Turning back, I pause as Jude appears in the doorway to the RV. He runs a hand through his hair and takes one step down, holding onto the side of the doorframe with the other. It makes his bicep clench, and his t-shirt lifts enough that a sliver of tanned skin above his jeans is on show.

I can’t drag my eyes away.

He’s looking around. For me. When he sees me, he stops moving. Our gazes collide across the clearing. I don’t move. Neither does he. I don’t understand this pull between us. I felt it from the first time our eyes locked.

Jude Smallwood would be all wrong for me. He’s going through some serious shit. Whatever this… connection is, it needs to stop.

The sound of a car approaching has us both looking towards the road. A black sports car rounds the bend, going pretty fast until it sees my RV, then it swerves over to the side, pulling to a hasty stop. Loud music cuts off as the engine dies and a man in a suit gets out.

Given the circumstances, I can guess who he is. If Jude hadn’t shown up and told me, this man would freak me the hell out. I get he’s lost his superstar, but he’s coming towards me in that frantic frame of mind, not considering I’m a woman on my own in the middle of nowhere.

He swats at something as it lands on the back of his neck and he makes a girlie sounding squeal. Jeez, these guys really know nothing about nature.

From where the car has stopped, and the path he has taken into the clearing, he can’t see this side of the RV where Jude is still standing, his eyes wide with panic.

Shit.

“Hey! Excuse me?” The man calls out.

Jude leans back into the RV, but not all the way. It’s clear he’s conflicted about what to do. He recognizes the car and the man. His hesitation says a lot.

I take a couple of steps backward. The man seems to realize he’s barreling towards me and slows to a stop. He looks at the RV, down to the lake and the forest beyond.

“Have you seen, er… uh, a guy out here?”

“A guy?” I ask. My gaze darts back to Jude. He’s moved further back, enough that I can still see him. Enough for me to know he doesn’t want to talk to this man.

The stranger runs both hands over the top of his head and spins in a full circle, looking around. “Yeah, uh. He’s about six two, dark clothes, tattoos.”

He doesn’t want to tell me it’s Jude Smallwood he’s looking for. “Is he dangerous?” I ask, putting a little fear into my voice.

“No, no,” he shakes his head. “We’re staying up at the hotel and he got drunk and wandered off last night. We’re out looking for him.”

“The Obsidian Hotel?” I ask, knowing full well it’s where Jude came from, still marveling that he got so far walking in the dark.

“Yes. Have you seen him?” He takes another step towards me.

Any closer and he’ll see the RV door. Jude can always slip further inside without letting on he’s here.

“I really need to find him,” he says as his cell phone rings in his pocket. He grabs it and answers. “Anything?”

His back is to me now, and I take the opportunity to look at Jude without being obvious. I hold a discrete hand out in question. Jude looks conflicted, but after a moment, he shakes his head.

“God dammit. Where the hell is he? No, don’t call them yet. The last thing we need is this getting out. He’s pulling some shit because he didn’t want to go to the party last night. Check the hotel again. He’s probably sulking somewhere.”

My mouth hangs open after hearing his words. He’s pulling some shit? Even as a very distant bystander with no actual knowledge of what is happening with the band, it’s obvious this isn’t just some shit he’s pulling. This guy has no comprehension of what Jude is going through.

Something comes over me. The side my younger sister always hated when we were kids. She was forever telling me I'm not funny. What does she know, I'm hilarious at times.

“I saw him.” I call out when the man hangs up.

He whirls around. “What? You said you didn’t. Where is he?”

“I never said I didn’t. I never said one way or another.”

He takes a few steps closer. “Where did you see him?” he asks through gritted teeth.

What an asshole.

“He came by here about an hour ago,” I tell him with a shrug. “Asked if he could use my toilet.”

The man looks to the RV. Out of this guy’s line of sight, Jude is looking at me. His face is stony. He thinks I’m about to hand him over. I take a few steps towards the man to prevent him walking further into the clearing.

“He had a bad case of… you know.”

“No, what?” he asks.

“Stomach troubles. He’d eaten something bad… Guess he picked some berries while he was out here. But you know even I don’t like doing that in my RV. Am I gonna let a stranger?” I widen my eyes at him.

He looks confused and a little disgusted. It’s throwing him off.

“So I told him there’s a rest stop a couple miles that way.” I point towards the actual direction of the rest stop area because he’s come from the other direction and will know there isn’t one along that way. “I gave him some toilet paper, in case he needed to go in the woods before he got there.”

“Are you fucking with me?” The man’s face scrunches up in disgust.

“No. Who would joke about something as serious as diarrhea? That shit is no joke.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Jude cover his mouth with his hand, trying to stifle his laughter.

“Pardon the pun,” I add. “He can’t have got far. I mean, especially if he had to keep stopping to… you know.”

“Jesus Christ. I’m going to kill him. The rest stop is that way?”

I nod. “He should have made it there by now. There are toilets there, a gas station, diner, things like that.”

The man looks as if he doesn’t care one bit about what is available at the rest stop. I’ve played my part. He doesn’t say another word, no thanks, no have a nice day. He hurries back to his expensive sports car and takes off, spraying gravel up with his tires. The brake lights flare as he takes a corner and disappears from view.

Jude steps out of the RV, a bemused expression on his face. He eyes the road, making sure it’s all clear, then walks towards me.

“I’m still trying to figure out if I’m having an out-of-body experience and dreaming all of this.”

He stops closer than he’s been before. I smell the scent of the handwash from my bathroom. I tip my head up so I can look him in the eye.

“He seems like a dick.”

“He can be worse.”

“Wow, if he can be worse than that, I can see why you walked away last night.”

Jude says nothing for a few moments. Then his face breaks into a grin. “Did you actually just tell my manager I have the shits? And I’m running around the forest with a roll of toilet paper?”

“Did you want me to say you were in my RV doing it?”

His eyes widen comically. “No, Christ. And that wasn’t what I was doing, by the way.”

“Good to know.”

His smile grows wider as he brushes his hair off his forehead. “I gotta admit, that was kinda funny.”

“Your manager, huh?”

His head comes up fast, realizing his slip of the tongue.

“He might have been a dick, but he was genuinely worried,” I say. “Not enough to call the police, which is probably what he should do instead of driving around searching for you. Are you sure you don’t want to go after him? Let him know you’re okay.”

“How long have you known?” Jude doesn’t answer my questions. He looks unsure whether or not to be pissed, wary of my intentions.

“Since I saw you on my cameras sneaking around outside the RV.”

“Shit,” he mutters, more contemplative than annoyed. “Why didn’t you say anything?” he asks.

“Just because you're someone I recognize doesn’t mean you're someone safe.”

“But you know who I am and what’s… Going on.”

“I know what I’ve read in the news. Talking to you made it clearer.”

His head turns back to the road, the way his manager went.

“Help me put everything away. The drive to the rest stop should take about fifteen minutes. You can think about next steps then.”

“You’re going to help me?”

“Can’t leave you out here. You’ll either get eaten by a bear or he’ll find you on his way back.”

“Not sure which is worse,” he quips.

“I’d go with the manager,” I mutter, then slip past him and walk back to the picnic table and grab the chairs to fold up.

Jude joins me and helps with the table, taking it all and slotting them back under the RV. I lock up the storage door and head inside. It’s weird having him follow me in.

When he shuts the door, all sounds from outside vanish. It’s just us in here.

He pulls his eyes away first, taking in the interior of the RV. It’s top of the line. I might want to get away from it all, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want the comforts of home.

There is a kitchen area with a stove, sink and full-standing fridge freezer, and a two-seater dining table. The sofa facing the TV pulls out into a second bed. There is even a fireplace for when it gets cold, together with a full heating and air conditioner system. And a washer and dryer.

In the back is my bedroom and the second bathroom, which has a shower. It’s fully stocked for three months of travel. The only thing I need to buy is food and the occasional toiletry item. Sometimes new clothes. And I have to stop regularly for maintenance of the RV. I have everything I need in here.

I’ve been so used to being the sole occupier it’s strange having a man in here. A man who is taking up all the oxygen. I busy myself getting two bottles of water from the fridge while Jude goes to the front and looks through the windshield.

He takes the water as I settle into the driver’s seat. “You can either sit up front or any of the seats back there have seatbelts.”

“I’ll sit up front,” he says, dropping into the plush passenger chair. “This is impressive.” He squeezes the arm rest, then drops his bottle into the built in cup holder.

It’s on the tip of my tongue to say it’s not as nice as what he is used to, but that will bring the mood down and it’s not what he needs. He’s a normal guy. His rock god, sex symbol status, means nothing in here.

Yeah, right . Tell that to my thumping heart.

“It’ll take fifteen minutes to get there?” Jude asks.

“Roughly. He’ll get there faster. I have to take the bends slower than a car.”

“I can’t imagine driving this thing. It’s huge.”

“I’m used to it, it’s second nature now.”

“What are these?” he lifts his hand and points to the satin ballerina shoes set on a stand on the dash.

“My PA got them for me. My most famous character is a ballerina.”

“Do you do ballet?”

“Me,” I laugh. “God no. I’m strictly a Pilates and walking girl when it comes to exercise.”

As I flip on the indicator, I don’t miss the way his eyes move down my body. I’m still wearing my sleep shorts. Damn. In all the excitement, I didn’t take the time to change. At least I threw on a blouse over my tank top before I left the RV this morning.

“I like your boots,” he smirks.

“Thanks,” I side-eye him. Hiking boots with pj’s. It’s a look, that’s for sure.

Before I pull away, I flip on the Bluetooth radio. It automatically connects to my phone. ' Pictures of You' by The Cure plays. Louder than I’d expected. I wince and reach for the volume knob.

“Good song,” Jude comments. “Did I hear you listening to Yungblud last night?”

“Last night?” How did he hear that?

“You passed me on the road.” He laughs. “I was lying in the grass looking at the stars.”

“Oh,” I laugh back. “Jeez, you really do not know how dangerous that was? Do you know what is out in those woods?”

“I was trying not to think about it, to be honest. Too busy calling myself a fucking idiot.”

“You had your reasons.” I turn the steering wheel, and the RV pulls out onto the highway. “Your plan wasn’t well thought out. But you got lucky.”

Our eyes meet again. He says nothing, but his eyes drop to my mouth, then back up to my eyes. A slow grin stretches his lips as I blush and look away. Damn, it really is no wonder women all over the world want to jump this man’s bones.

I’m right where all of those women would love to be. The only difference being, I haven’t offered. Even if there has been ample opportunity, an attraction and a very handy bed. But I’m not in the habit of jumping into bed with strangers.

“Are RV rules the driver picks the music, or am I allowed to check out your playlist?”

“I don’t think that rule applies to just RVs. Don’t drivers always choose the music?”

“And shotgun deals with it?”

“It’s road trip law. But I’ll make an exception.” I nod to where my phone is in the holder beneath the console. “Knock yourself out.”

As he reaches for it, I panic. What am I thinking? There’s a lot of his music in my playlists.

I focus on the road, ignoring the slight laugh as he scrolls through the options, concentrating extra hard on the road. I expect one of his songs to come on, to make me blush even more, but it doesn’t.

He picks ‘ Alive’ by The Hunna. I wouldn’t have thought this was the kind of music he is into. Who am I to assume what his taste is? Mine is pretty eclectic too.

Maybe I lied about how long it would take to reach the rest stop, and the fact I need to go slow.

I’ve enjoyed having him here, despite the initial concern. He’s intrigued me from the moment he walked into my little clearing.

I can't help but feel a little sad. Once we get to that rest stop, Jude Smallwood will walk right back out of my life.