Reckless

Chapter 5

I stay at the diner and have a proper breakfast, albeit on my own. It’s for the best. Jude Smallwood is a megastar. I’m kinda famous, in certain circles, successful enough to do this kind of thing and not have to worry about money. Able to make my own choices.

I’m still mad at that asshole manager. I wanted Jude to make a different choice, but he’s had years of living in that environment and no matter how much he wants to change, I’m not sure he can take himself out of it without failing.

It sucks thinking that way. He deserves to be happy.

Not my problem anymore.

Back at the RV, I do a little maintenance and get washed up. Just before I’m about to leave, my phone pings with a text.

Emily

Morning! Are you back on the road yet?

Krista

Not yet, getting ready to set off. What’s up?

Emily

I wanted to let you know everything is all finalized for the box set. I need your approval as soon as you can

Krista

Can you email me the proof?

Emily

Already done, but you haven’t been online yet today

Krista

Stalker much

Emily

Someone needs to stalk your ass when you’re off on your adventures

Krista

I’ll check it before I leave though I’m sure it’s gorgeous

Emily

It'll blow your mind

My PA tells me the other things she’s working on today as I boot up the laptop to check the box set we’ve commissioned for my last series. It’s a special edition I’m offering for attendees at the convention in a few weeks. When I get to Chicago, I’ll be signing them all before the readers arrive.

The box design is gorgeous, and the new covers complement it so well. I send Emily an email telling her it’s approved and that I love her for everything she does for me.

It puts a smile on my face and makes me forget about my morning guest for a little while.

As I open up my current book, it’s up to a part where the main characters realize their feelings for one another. And it makes me think of him again.

I slap the laptop shut and walk to the front of the RV. It’s time to move on. I may enjoy my time driving through the country, but I do still have a place to be, and a lot of things I want to do in between.

It’s busier now than it was when we first pulled in, so it’s slow going to get back towards the highway. My next planned stop is about two hundred and thirty miles east, so there are a few hours of driving ahead of me.

“Shit,” I mutter. I usually start my music before I set off. There isn’t much road left before the highway to pull over. I’ll have to ride in silence.

Just before I’m about to exit the rest stop, I see a man on the side of the road.

He waves as I blow past him.

“What the hell?”

I check the side mirror. He’s watching after me. What on earth is he doing? Without thinking it through, I swerve onto the side of the road. A horn blares behind me and a car passes, the driver yelling at me. But I still pull to a stop.

Through the mirror, I see Jude hurrying along the road towards the RV. This time he has a bag with him. There aren’t supposed to be any pedestrians on this road. He’s going to get himself killed.

Opening the driver’s door, I jump down to the side of the RV and he jogs over.

“Are you crazy?” I yell at him.

“A little, yeah. Question is, how crazy are you?”

Cars are moving past us, the tail winds from the speed blowing my hair across my face. I go to brush it away, but Jude does it for me. He’s standing right in front of me.

“What are you doing?”

“Asking you to take me with you.”

My head rears back and my mouth drops open.

“Preferably before highway patrol shows up, or a car hits your RV.”

“You’re out of your mind.”

“I’ll explain on the road.”

I wonder whether I’m dreaming. Another car speeds past, honking its horn, and snaps me out of it. I hurry back to the driver’s door and indicate for him to get in. He clambers across the seat, and I get in behind him. In my hurry to find out what the fuck he’s doing, I didn’t even cut the engine.

“Oh God, do you know how hard it’s going to be to get back on the exit road?”

“Sorry, but you were driving out when I got back here. I ran all the way after you.”

It’s only now we’re inside, I see he’s sweating. And panting a little.

“You’ve lost your damn mind.” I shake my head, but we can’t sit here.

It takes some serious skill and luck to get off the lay-by and back onto the road, picking up enough speed to merge onto the highway without too many horns blaring. My heart is pounding by the time we’re in a lane driving at a normal speed.

“Uh, sorry,” he says from where he is standing behind me.

“Sit down and put your seatbelt on, you lunatic.”

He does what I say without arguing, taking the seat beside me. His bag is on the floor behind him. We drive for a few minutes before he speaks. He can tell I’m annoyed.

“After I got back to the hotel and called everyone I cared about to let them know I was good, I sat waiting for the car to take me to the airport. Cody chewed me out all the way back there, and I kept thinking he’s acting like a fucking asshole. I didn’t need to be spoken to like that.”

I hold my tongue, not expecting him to get this deep.

“One of Bill’s assistants got me a new phone. They never found mine. I sent the number to three people. Not Cody, in case you’re wondering.”

“I wasn’t. But continue.”

“The plan is to get me to the shrink back in LA. Because according to Cody I’ve lost my mind.”

“I’m inclined to agree with him after that stunt,” I mutter.

“I don’t want to see a shrink, Krista. I want… to be me,” he looks down at his feet. “I chose me.”

We ride in silence after that. Until we see the road sign for the airport. Our eyes meet again, and I lift a brow in question.

“I’ll leave it up to you,” he says.

Some of his melancholy has lifted. Amusement takes its place.

Against my better judgement, I keep driving.

“Put on some music,” I say, after a while.

He lifts my phone.

“Reckless Soul,” I say without looking at him.

“I suppose I deserve that,” he laughs. Their latest album starts a few moments later. Jude sets my phone down and turns to his window.

The guilt hits almost immediately. The whole reason we’re in this situation is because he’s taking a break from his band. He hasn’t said it’s because he isn’t happy with the band, it’s the continuous working.

Maybe he doesn’t want to be reminded of it.

“Which is your favorite?” he asks, breaking the silence.

“Of your songs?”

“Yeah.”

“ Whispers of the Lost .”

“You didn’t even need to think about that.” He uses one foot, pushing against the ground to make the chair turn back and forth. “Good choice. Old school. I wrote that about a local kid who went missing in our neighborhood. I was seventeen when it happened. I didn’t know her, but now and then it plays on my mind.”

“That’s so sad. Did they find her?”

“No. She vanished.”

We pass a sign for a local park, and I keep an eye out for the turn off. Jude looks up as I take it and we head along a bumpy road to get to the small parking lot. There are two other cars here, but no people. They must be hiking the trails.

“Why are we stopping?” he asks as I turn off the engine.

“So we can talk,” I say. “It’s impossible to focus and drive this at the same time.”

Jude stays where he is as I open the fridge and grab some beer and two sandwiches I bought earlier. There is a picnic basket in the cupboard over the microwave, so I grab that too and pack everything up.

“In that unit, by the fireplace, there’s a blanket. Could you grab it?”

“Sure.”

He hands it to me, and I put it in the basket too. Then I grab my jacket, shove the keys to the RV in the pocket and head for the door. Jude takes the basket once we’re outside.

I get my bearings, then head towards the trail. I’ve been here once, but it was years ago, with my parents and Shari, my sister, when we were teenagers.

It isn’t hard to navigate, it’s signposted well. It’s not bad terrain either, so our sneakers are fine for walking the trails. We have to go one behind the other for a few hundred feet before the path widens and we can walk side by side.

There is a picnic area not too far from here. It might be busy, but I doubt there will be people interested in Jude Smallwood.

“This is a weird request,” Jude starts as he slows his stride so as not to overtake me. “And I get it if you want to say no, given you usually do this by yourself.”

“Are you going to ask to tag along on my trip to Chicago?”

“That obvious?”

“Er, the fact you ran after my RV and almost got us both killed kind of gave it away.”

The picnic area comes into view. There is only one woman with her dog. She has hiking sticks and is packing her things up. There are tables here now. They didn’t have them last time, so we won’t need the blanket. I sit on the side of the table facing the woman, so Jude has his back to her, just in case.

“That’s a slight exaggeration,” he says

“We could have been hit by a car, what you did was…” I stop talking. He doesn’t need me to lecture him. I’m not his mom, or his manager, or any of the other people telling him what to do with his life.

“Yeah, sorry. I figure, what is the harm in asking? You can only say no and then I can hitch that ride to the airport. I mean, you let me get in the RV again, so that has to mean something.”

I eye him. “That stupid grin will not win you any favors.”

“Sorry,” he repeats and tries to straighten his mouth, but he can’t. Even when he hides it behind his hand, it’s obvious what he’s doing. “It could be fun.”

Driving across the mid-west in a one bedroomed RV with a rockstar could be fun? Is he nuts? How the hell am I supposed to sleep easy every night knowing he is under the same very small roof?

It’s not possible. I’ll lose my mind. And I could do something stupid.

Not that he wants to do something stupid. Or does he? He’s half smiling, and that only makes me think this is a bad idea even more.

“What if I come for a couple of weeks? I won’t get in the way.”

“Are you serious?”

“I won’t bother you. I’ll only take up a small corner of the RV, do some thinking, some writing. I can cook too. And clean.”

“I don’t need you to cook and clean,” I half laugh.

“I can drive, so you can get more work done, see more things on the way to Chicago.”

That sounds appealing, but I would have to teach him how to drive the RV and I’m not all that confident about his ability to drive my baby.

“How about we give it a few days and if I annoy you, you can kick me out?”

This is a bad idea. Stupid even. I must be out of my mind. Then I remember the man who showed up outside my RV this morning. The man they’re talking about in the papers, how his performances at shows were lackluster and chaotic.

That isn’t the guy sitting across from me. They’re labels people who don’t know him or understand what it is he’s going through have given him. I’m not even sure Jude knows what he’s going through.

He’s been more animated and smiled a lot when he’s around me. Don’t go getting a big head about it, it’s not because of me.

I grab the picnic basket and open it up, taking out the two beer bottles and sandwiches. It’s low calorie, low alcohol beer and Jude eyes it as I pop the top off mine on the side of the table. His lip tilts again at the move my sister’s college boyfriend taught me.

“Sue me. I left my utility knife in the RV.”

“That I’m not freaked out by that statement says everything about this partnership, Krista.”

“Partnership.”

I drink some beer as Jude knocks his cap off. He takes a few swallows and pulls a face.

“This is disgusting.”

My laughter fills the clearing as he pushes the bottle away. Jude grabs a sandwich instead and opens the packet. He passes it to me before taking the other one.

God, why am I even considering this? It’s dangerous. And not because I don’t know him. He doesn’t have a reputation for being a womanizer. If anything, he shies away from the public and focuses on his music.

Maybe it’s just me who feels this magnetic pull between us. Or maybe it was the shock of seeing a rockstar outside my RV in the middle of Montana. I’m a grown ass woman. Just because I have a handsome, damaged man travelling with me for a couple of weeks doesn’t mean I’m going to lose all of my senses and do something stupid.

Another glance at him has me inhaling. Whether or not he plays up to it, Jude Smallwood is an incredibly attractive man.

Who the hell am I kidding? If I do this, I won’t sleep for the next two weeks.

“What do you say?” he asks.

Although his voice is playful, there is genuine concern there too. It’s a lot to put on me, knowing what he’s going through.

What if I don’t see it as an inconvenience or something to worry about? What if I try to help? I’m not qualified to do anything meaningful, but what if I can make him see the lighter side of life?

It’s how I feel when I take this trip each year.

“I must be crazy,” I shake my head. “Two weeks.”

The grin he gives me is the kind that could make a woman fall to her knees. If she isn’t careful.