Reckless

Chapter 11

My imagination is doing mental flip flops as I navigate down the dark and bumpy road, leading to the Boondock Campsite. I can still feel his lips against mine the more I try not to think about it.

Or anything else that happened after the kiss. I know he knows I am aware of what he did in the bathroom. That is one thing about an RV. The walls aren’t real. It’s why I’ve always been glad to be alone in here.

When the need arises, I can be as noisy and vocal as I want with no one else around. And damn him for dealing with his issue.

I mean, we could deal with it together if I had the balls to say I want him. A part of me is holding back. This is a temporary situation. He’s planning on being here for a couple of weeks. I can’t give it up three days in. No matter how much I want to.

There is also the need to protect myself. There is something between us. I can’t put a name to it, but I get the feeling taking it to the next level would leave me a wreck.

That kiss. That was a hell of a kiss. It lasted a few minutes, but all my senses were heightened to a level I’ve never known.

No man has ever kissed me like that.

I have to give Jude credit. He was quiet in the bathroom. I heard the long-exhaled curse and all I could think about was him finishing himself in there. My thighs clenched hard. The need to touch myself was almost blinding. Instead, I shoved away those thoughts and changed, then went to the front of the RV and put on some music.

It’s difficult to forget what happened prior to the kiss. No matter the attraction, or the heat between us. I have to remember there is something beneath his reaction to those guys. His desire to protect me against something that wasn’t a threat is concerning.

I can never understand his lifestyle. I’ve had my share of fans approaching me to talk, but it is nothing compared to what Jude has experienced. There must have been some awful incidents for him to react that way. I can’t help wondering if he’s been with a woman who had to deal with his fans, and maybe got hurt.

Jealousy burns through me. Don’t be so stupid. Of course he’s been with other women, like I’ve been with other men. I almost steer us straight into a huge pothole. My thoughts are so erratic and I’m not concentrating.

It is dark at the Badlands now. There are no lights on this campsite, so I need to be more careful. Ignoring the look Jude casts my way, I focus back on the road. It isn’t long before thoughts creep back in. I want to kiss him again. I want more. That brief kiss wasn’t enough.

Jude isn’t in the right frame of mind, even if he thinks he is.

I’m not the person to leave a situation unresolved. I hate not knowing what he’s thinking. The insecure part of me I’ve not felt in a long time is pushing up to the surface.

I don’t think he regrets it, but it’s odd how quiet he’s been since we set off. After what he did in the bathroom.

And his comment about relaxing once we got to the campsite. Or anything else you want to do.

We finally arrive. Usually, you need to get here early to get a spot, as it’s free and the vistas are amazing. There aren’t that many RVs. There are a lot of cars.

I came here with a friend once and she was gobsmacked people would spend the night in a car. There are no amenities here, no toilets or anywhere to buy food. She halfway changed her mind when she saw the views in the morning, but she never got over people going to the bathroom in the wild.

The headlights sweep over the wide-open campsite as I navigate into a spot that has some space around it. It’s impossible to see the view at this time of night and I’m excited to see how Jude reacts in the morning. The plan is to get up and watch the sunrise.

“It’s dark,” Jude breaks the silence.

“It’s worth it, trust me.”

We both unbuckle and rise from our seats. I stretch my arms up over my head. I’ve been driving for an hour and my body is stiff. Jude’s eyes roam over me, but I turn away from him and head back into the living area.

“What is so great about this place?” he asks, following and dropping on to the couch.

“We’re in the Badlands.”

His brow lifts. “South Dakota rocks,” he grins. “The Black Hills, The Badlands. Hell, I could write a whole album about this place.”

“I’m sure people have. We need to go to bed if we want to enjoy it.”

My face flushes all kinds of red when I replay that back in my head.

Jude doesn’t miss the opportunity. “That so?”

“I mean in the morning. Shut up.” I turn away and busy myself cleaning up the nonexistent mess. He chuckles behind me, but doesn’t press it anymore.

When I notice him taking out his phone, I hold up a hand. “Don’t search for it.”

“Why?”

“It’s better to experience it in person. Don’t ruin the surprise. Trust me.”

He puts his phone away. If we want to be awake for the sunrise, we need to turn in now. When I tell him, he stares at me. That pull tugs at me again. This time, not so much like an invisible string. It’s from between my thighs, but I shut that bitch down.

“I’ll set an alarm,” I tell him.

Jude sits back and spreads his legs, one arm up on the back of the couch. He’s like a fucking sex God. And my body is reacting against my will. I almost walk forward but get myself under control. Not just for my sanity down the road. If we are going to act on it, then I will not give it up so easily.

His smirk says he can read my mind.

“Goodnight,” I squeak out and head to the bedroom.

Leaning back on the door, I scold myself for being such a damn idiot. I know what I want out of life. I also know what I don’t want. I’ve had no trouble speaking my mind or following where my head and heart want to take me.

Jude Smallwood is way too dangerous, to both.

I’d set the alarm after checking the time of the sunrise and when it goes off, it’s still dark outside. The coyotes were loud through the night, so it was hard to fall asleep, but I love the sounds. Being a part of nature is my happy place.

I dress warmly, grabbing my beanie hat from the drawer, then open the sliding door.

The light behind me in the bedroom is enough to see by as I walk into the living area. Jude is lying diagonally on the pull-out bed. The sheets are a mess, tangled around his legs and waist, as if he’s been tossing and turning.

He’s shirtless and his hair is a mess, but he is so soundly asleep, I almost feel bad about waking him. He has one hand shoved under the pillow, the other is resting on his collarbone. I wonder if he had a bad night’s sleep too. I’m certain he won’t worry about it too much in about fifteen minutes.

How do I wake him?

I go to the coffee machine and turn it on. We will need coffee. Then I turn back.

“Jude,” I say, moving closer to the bed. “Jude, you need to wake up.”

He groans, his face scrunching and he turns, the sheet tightening around his waist and…

Oh shit, I step back, but my eyes don’t move. I can’t tell for sure, but is he naked under there? I can see the outline of his cock. And it’s hard. My core clenches again and a hand goes to my throat.

“Mornin’.” His voice is like gravel. One eye squinting open to look at me. “What time is it?”

“Almost time for the sunrise. Do you want coffee?”

Jude moves up onto one elbow and runs a hand through his hair. He glances down at himself and it’s obvious he sees what I’m seeing.

“Coffee sounds good,” he yawns, sitting up and tugging the sheet a little higher. I doubt it’s because he is self-conscious, he’s doing it because he doesn’t want to embarrass me.

I leave the lights off and turn back to the coffee maker. I shut my eyes when I hear the sounds of him moving around in the sheets and then dressing. He walks up close behind me, the heat of his body makes my back straighten, and he leans in closer to my ear.

“Do I have time to shower?”

“Uh, yeah. If you’re quick.” I look over my shoulder and smirk. Getting my wits about me. My innuendo is clear.

Jude gives me a boyish grin, then disappears into the bedroom. He doesn’t shut the door. Is it an invitation? Shaking my head, I snap on the lights so I can see what I’m doing, and finish the coffee, pouring it into two thermos cups.

While I wait for him to finish, not imagining what is going on there at all, I slip into my boots and pull on my hat. When I pull open the RV door, the horizon is still dark. We’re parked on ‘the wall’ overlooking the Badlands. It’s still difficult to see the full-scale beauty of the place yet, but it will be awesome.

I grab a headlamp torch and, after setting it on over my hat, I pick up the two fold-out chairs and blankets and head out of the RV. There are people moving about further up the wall, but everyone gets on with their own thing.

There are tents, but they’re all quiet. Fortunately, it’s not too windy right now, so they’ve had a decent night. I love nature and travelling in the RV, but I’ve never been big on sleeping in tents. That’s a step too far for me.

Jude appears after I’ve set up the chairs with a blanket each thrown over. He walks over and I hand him a thermos. He uncaps it as he walks further to the edge of the wall. It’s not technically a wall, that is just what it's called. We’re on flat land and there is a drop off where the ground ends.

I almost call out to him in case he hasn’t seen the ledge in the dark, but Jude stops before he can fall over the edge. It isn’t a long drop, but it would hurt if he fell.

I watch him sip his coffee and look out over the massive Badlands view. The horizon is lightening. I’d love to know what he is thinking right now.

He looks back and indicates for me to join him. I head over and he squints at the lamp. I shut it off and pull it over my hat.

“You’re so prepared,” he grins, then looks back at the view. “This is amazing. I can’t believe everything I’ve seen over the last few days. It’s like I’ve walked into a different universe.”

“Wait till the sun comes up.”

We head back to the chairs. All along the wall, people set up to watch the sunrise. It’s peaceful, with a few murmurings of others chatting, reaching our little area of the wall. I’m comfortable with us not talking, just having him beside me. We need to address the kiss rather than skirting or flirting around it.

“Wow,” Jude breaks me from my thoughts as the first rays of sunlight rise through the Badlands, lighting up the peaks and dips of the mountainous valley.

“Fuck,” he whispers as we watch the sun get higher. “This is out of this world. It’s like we’re on another planet.” He’s still talking in a low voice, as if he doesn’t want to break the magic of the place.

I find myself watching him instead of the sun. I’ve seen it before and it's no mean feat keeping my eyes away from the view. But Jude draws me like no other man ever has.

He catches me looking, but there is no smirk or wink. It’s like he is drinking me in, memorizing everything about me. I don’t wilt under the gaze. I stare back.

I’m in trouble here.

Our look is interrupted when someone whoops into the valley as loud as they can. Jude laughs as other people groan and some cheer along.

People move about once the sun is up. I offer to make breakfast rolls, then suggest we take a hike into the valley, which he’s enthusiastic about. He tells me to take a shower while he cooks breakfast. I don’t turn down that offer.

A couple of hours later, we’ve reached a fairly level area of the valley and stop to take a water break. Jude perches up on a higher rock while I settle closer to the ground. I ditched my jacket a while ago because it is so hot. Jude is carrying the backpack with all the supplies and sets it at his feet as he looks around.

“You used to do this kind of thing a lot? As a kid?” he asks.

“Yeah, my parents are wanderers, I guess.”

“I thought you said they were both doctors?”

“They are. Mom is a GP and dad is a research scientist. They had me and my sister when they were older. Dad is mostly retired now, and mom only has a three-day clinic. But they’ve always had the ethos that family comes first. Throughout the summer break from school, they wanted us to travel, rather than sitting around eating junk food and watching rubbish on TV,” I laugh a little.

“Teenage girls not getting to hang out with their friends,” he chuckles. “Bet that was fun.”

“They spread it out. We didn’t disappear for the full break. But when we went away, we always came to places like this. Mostly in the US.”

“You ever go overseas?”

“Yeah, sometimes. Dad is from Hungary, so we’ve been there a few times, and some places in Europe. He loves the States, and it's his dream to have explored all of them.”

“Has he done it yet?”

“He’s on forty-two so far. They have a vacation booked to Alaska in a few months.”

“That’s crazy. But cool.” He looks off into the distance and drinks down half of a bottle of water. “I went to Hungary once, a tour stop in Budapest. From what I saw, it was an impressive place. Amazing architecture.”

He sounds melancholic. He’s already said he’s traveled to tons of places, but never really seen them.

“Yeah, Budapest is a great city. Dad is from a city called Pécs. It’s near to the Croatian border. We’ve only been twice to visit some of his distant relatives. He’s lived in the US since he was thirteen, so he thinks of this as his home. He doesn’t even have an accent.”

“What about you? How many states have you done?”

“I’m not sure. In the high twenties? What about you?”

“Most of them. Alaska is one we haven’t done.” He stands up and steps carefully down over some rocks. “Until last week, I hadn’t been to Montana.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Not sure what’s up with that. We should add it on the next tour.”

This is the first time he’s talked about his work with the band in a while. Thinking about where they’re going on tour is a big thing.

“I envy you,” he says after a moment of silence.

“You envy me?” I ask in surprise.

“Yeah, you had a great childhood. Few people would do what you do. Your parents instilled that need in you to not stand still. Mine always encouraged me to follow my dreams. They support the music career too, but mom doesn’t understand the lifestyle. She gets pissed off a lot when she reads some of the news stories.”

“That’s gotta be embarrassing.” I cringe at him.

“Most of it's exaggerated, but yeah.” He ducks his head and runs a hand through his hair. We haven’t replaced the hat. “There have been some things you never want your mom to hear about.”

“I can imagine.”

“Can you?” he cocks his head. He’s about to say something else when he glances over my shoulder and his eyes go wide. “Krista. Look.”

Jude steps over and grabs my hand, then turns me by putting his hands on my shoulders. His body is pressed right up behind me. He moved so fast I can barely think about what he’s doing, before he’s pointing over my shoulder. I follow his finger to a pair of bison a few hundred feet away, where there is more of a level field area. They’re grazing, paying no attention to us or each other.

“Oh shit,” I whisper.

Jude puts his hand back on my shoulder and squeezes lightly. “Have you ever seen anything like this?”

I shake my head.

“They’re fucking huge,” Jude remarks.

One of his hands drops to my waist. It feels like his skin is scorching against me, right through the fabric of my shirt. I’m not sure if he’s going for more innuendo given his body is close behind mine, but there is awe in his tone.

“Yeah, I wouldn’t want to draw their attention.”

“Will they attack?” he asks.

“I don’t think so. I don’t know much about Bison. Maybe we should head back. Leave them to their space.”

“Yeah. Good idea.”

He doesn’t move. His hand squeezes my waist. My heart pounds, and my breath comes faster. We should have talked about last night. We should have figured out what this thing is. Jude’s other hand sweeps my hair away from my neck. My eyes shut as his head dips and his lips press against the side of my throat.

At the sound of my whimper, his hand on my waist tightens, then moves around to my stomach. The tip of his pinkie finger toys with the waistband of my jeans. I keep my eyes on the bison as he tastes my skin, his lips skimming up to my ear. He nips at the lobe, and more of his fingers dip beneath my pants. He doesn’t go any lower, spreading his fingers across my abdomen.

My hands are shaking and everything inside of me tightens up, not in fear or worry. The desire is so overwhelming I can barely stop myself from falling to my knees.

“Fuck, Krista,” he groans into my neck.

I can’t stand it anymore. I can’t resist this pull. I draw away from him and turn around. His eyes are hooded with lust as he stares at me. He still has the end of my ponytail in his hand, weaving it around his fingers. He’s watching, waiting.

I step forward and put my hand around the back of his neck, reaching up. Our lips slam together. Jude groans, cups the back of my head and the small of my back, pulling me flush against him. My back arches as my mouth opens for him.

This is no tender meeting of our mouths, this is raw, desperate, his tongue thrusts against mine as his hips grind forward. I’m lost. All awareness of my surroundings disappear. All I feel is him.

All I smell and taste and desire is Jude Smallwood.

My brain barely comprehends the sound of voices. I’m practically climbing up Jude’s body when he leans back and curses. He doesn’t take his eyes off me, but slowly, I realize his annoyance isn’t at me, but the group of people who’ve appeared over the ridge.

“The fucking timing,” he groans.

I’m still half lost in his eyes, in the feel of his arms still holding me up.

“Excuse us folks. Do you mind taking our picture?”

“Are they fucking kidding?” Jude groans.

I rub my lips together and look over his shoulder. Yeah, assholes. Who approaches a couple doing what we’re doing and interrupts them?

I’ve never wanted to kill a group of hikers quite like I do now.

Given who I’m with, he can’t very well go help them out with the photograph.

“Grab the bag.” I give his arm a squeeze and walk around Jude, in a way shielding him.

And not from being recognized. The thick length of him was pressed right up against me while we kissed. My damn panties are soaked. I was on the verge of stripping those pants right off him when this group of jerks interrupted.

Walking closer to the group, I put one arm up to shield my eyes from the sun. The guy who asked is smiling at me.

“I’m sorry, but no. We can’t take your picture. But have a nice day.”

I whirl around and grab Jude’s arm, seeing the full-on shock on his face. The people behind are all stunned. Jude breaks into a grin as I tow him away from the assholes who ruined the moment.

Well, there is no one to interrupt back at the RV.

Except it’s a half-hour walk away. A fact I realize when we get to higher ground, and I see it parked at the edge of the wall in the distance.

“Shit,” I mutter, squeezing my eyes shut.

Jude’s hand slides down my arm and he grips my hand. His expression is determined when he speaks.

“Doesn’t matter how long it takes to get back. There is no way this is over.”