23. Cayenne
Chapter 23
Cayenne
“You understand?” Finn blinks at me for the hundredth time, his glasses catching the blue glow of multiple screens like fractured stars. His normally pristine office has transformed into a war room of organized chaos—mission papers spiral out from his laptop like fallen leaves, each one marked with his precise handwriting that gets progressively more jagged toward the edges, betraying his mounting anxiety. The air is thick with the bitter perfume of cold coffee and that distinctly beta scent of his—earl grey and worn leather books, now tinged with stress-sharp edges that make my teeth ache.
“Let me break it down for you one more time, Professor Paranoid.” I pop another cracker in my mouth, deliberately letting the salt-sharp crumbs rain down onto his meticulously organized chaos. Each fallen crumb makes his left eye twitch, a tactical advantage I’ve been exploiting all morning. “Sneaky-sneaky, get in, park my gorgeous self in front of enough screens to make a Twitch streamer weep with envy, let my fingers weave their criminal magic, and ghost before anyone knows their security’s been reduced to digital confetti.”
His scent shifts—the sharp tang of leather softening around the edges, warming with notes of honey and sunlight that betray his irritation as mostly performance. His left eye twitches when I drop another crumb, but the corner of his mouth quirks upward before he can catch it.
Even his pristine posture betrays him, softening at the edges despite his best attempts at severity. This is our dance now—his need for order wrestling with my chaos, both of us knowing neither will fully win but enjoying the battle anyway.
“This isn’t a game, Cayenne.” But there’s a hint of a smile playing at the corners of his mouth.
“Really? Because I’ve got a high score to beat.” I reach over and bop his nose, leaving a slight dusting of cracker residue. “Previous record is three federal databases in under ten minutes. Think I can manage four?”
“I’m being serious.” He tries to maintain his stern expression, but I can see it cracking.
“Hi Being Serious, I’m Cayenne.”
“That was terrible.” But now he’s definitely fighting a smile.
“You love it.” I stand, making a show of brushing cracker crumbs off my pants and onto his immaculate floor. “Just like you love my chaos.”
“I tolerate your chaos,” he corrects, but his eyes are warm behind his glasses. “There’s a difference.”
“Keep telling yourself that.” I start backing toward the door. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go prepare for my mission impossible moment. Please tell me there’s a spandex suit involved. Something sleek, maybe with neon accents?”
He just blinks at me.
“No? Fine. But we’re definitely doing a Marvel marathon after this. Your pop culture education is severely lacking.”
“There’s de-scenter in the bathroom,” he calls after me, already turning back to his iPad. “We’ve provided you with?—”
“Ooh, do I get a utility belt too? Maybe some cool gadgets? A grappling hook?”
The look he gives me could freeze hell. “Out.”
“Sir, yes sir.” I throw him a mock salute. “This agent is reporting for pre-mission preparation.”
“This isn’t?—”
“A joke. I know.” I let the playfulness drop for a moment, meeting his eyes. “I’ve got this, Finn. I promise.”
He nods, and something passes between us—understanding, trust, maybe both.
I make my way through the quiet mansion, each step echoing in the unusual silence. The guys are all off doing whatever prep they need, and for once, I’m grateful for the solitude. Well, grateful for about five minutes—past that and I might actually lose my mind, but for now, it’s... peaceful.
Two weeks. It’s been two weeks since I arrived here. Two weeks without technology, without my constant digital lifeline to the world. I should feel naked, vulnerable, twitchy with need. And I do, but there’s something else too. Something I wasn’t expecting.
Peace.
Every day since my mom handed me my first shiny phone, I’ve been plugged in. Hungry for information, constantly feeding my brain with data, news, connections.
Every. Fucking. Day.
And now? Now it’s just my thoughts and no one else’s. It’s strange. Fleeting. Like catching smoke in your hands.
I know it won’t last. Tomorrow I’ll be back in the digital world, swimming through Sterling Labs’ systems, hunting for proof of what they’re doing to betas while helping the pack find their evidence about omegas. But right now, in this moment, I want to hold onto this feeling. This clarity.
Walking into the basement, I take a deep breath. The walls are still too white, too many clean lines begging to be broken up with splashes of color. But now it smells like me and a hint of...
Ryker?
“You haven’t put your luggage away.” He says, his voice deceptively casual. But I recognize the tension in his shoulders, the way his fingers tap once against the arm of the chair.
“What are you talking about?” I gesture at my organized chaos. “Everything’s exactly where I need it.”
“On the floor.” His eyes track over the scattered bags, the clothes draped over chairs, the boots lined up by the door. Ready to grab at a moment’s notice. Ready to run.
“I like to call it accessible interior design.” I keep my tone light even as understanding dawns. He’s not here about my housekeeping skills. “Very feng shui.”
“Is it?” One eyebrow raises as he stands, and suddenly the room feels smaller. “Or is it packed for a quick exit?”
The question hits closer to home than I’d like. Because yes, maybe part of me has kept everything ready. Maybe part of me is still waiting for the other shoe to drop. For them to discover what I’m hiding. For it all to fall apart.
“Not everything’s about escape routes, Alpha.” But even I can hear the deflection in my voice.
“Isn’t it?” He moves closer, and I resist the urge to step back. “With you, everything’s calculated. Every move, every word, every...” his eyes fall to my messiest bag, the one that actually is packed for a quick escape, “choice.”
“You’re reading too much into this.” I wave my hand dismissively, but my heart pounds. “Some of us just aren’t neat freaks like you and Jinx.”
“Are we?” His voice drops lower. “Reading too much into it?”
“What do you want me to say?” I throw my hands up, frustration bubbling over. “That I like having an exit strategy? Fine. I do. Happy now?”
“No.” His jaw clenches. “I want you to admit that you’re planning to run. That the second this mission is over, you’ll disappear.”
“And what if I am?” The words come out sharper than intended. “I never asked for any of this. Never asked for a pack breathing down my neck, watching my every move.”
“You think that’s what this is?” He steps closer, and the temperature in the room seems to drop and spike at once. His cedar scent deepens, wrapping around me like a physical touch, making my skin prickle with awareness. His presence expands to fill every corner, but there’s something else there—something darker, hungrier. “Surveillance?”
“Isn’t it?” I lift my chin, refusing to back down even as my body betrays me, hyper-aware of every inch between us. “The training, the rules, the constant supervision—” My voice catches as he moves closer, his presence overwhelming every sense until the wall behind me is the only thing keeping me upright.
“It’s protection!” The words rumble from deep in his chest, the sound vibrating through the scant space between us. I flinch, not from fear but from how my body responds—heat flooding my veins, heart thundering against my ribs. His eyes drop to my throat where my pulse betrays me, and for a moment, the anger in his expression shifts to something far more dangerous. “It’s us trying to keep you alive. To give you something stable for once in your life.”
The us feels like a lie. Right now, with his scent flooding my senses and his body caging mine, there is no us . There’s just him, just this, just the electric current of whatever this is between us that we both keep denying.
“I didn’t ask for stability!” The words explode out of me. “I didn’t ask for any of you to care!”
“Well, too fucking late.” He runs a hand over his face. “Because we do care. Jinx is crocheting you things. Theo’s writing music about you. Finn’s actually sleeping better knowing you’re safe downstairs.”
Each revelation hits like a physical blow. “Stop.”
“No. You need to hear this. Need to understand what you’re going to destroy when you run.”
“I’m not—” But the lie dies in my throat.
“You are.” His voice drops, becoming deadly serious. “And the worst part? You’re going to break them. Not me—I’ve seen enough people leave to handle it. But them?” He laughs bitterly. “Jinx will spiral. Theo will shut down. Finn will blame himself.”
Guilt claws at my chest. “That’s not fair.”
“Fair?” Now he’s advancing on me, backing me against the wall. “You want to talk about fair? What’s not fair is you pretending this doesn’t mean anything. That we don’t mean anything.”
“I never pretended?—”
“You’re pretending right now!” His fist slams into the wall beside my head. “Every unpacked bag, every escape route you’ve mapped, every secret you’re keeping—it’s all pretense!”
The mention of secrets makes my blood run cold. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Don’t I?” His eyes bore into mine. “I see the way you calculate everything. The way you hold yourself apart. You think if you don’t unpack, don’t settle in, don’t let yourself belong, it won’t hurt when you leave.”
“Stop.” My voice shakes.
“No. Because you need to understand something.” He leans closer, his scent overwhelming. “This pack? We’re not temporary. We’re not a safe house or a mission or whatever box you’re trying to put us in. We’re real. What we feel for you is real.”
“I never wanted a pack.” The words come out barely above a whisper.
“But you got one anyway.” His voice softens fractionally. “And you can run. You can disappear. But you’ll always know what you left behind. Who you left behind.”
“You think I wanted this?” His laugh is harsh. “You think I wanted some beta hacker disrupting everything I’ve built? Everything I’ve tried to protect?”
The words should hurt, but there’s something raw beneath them. Something real.
“Then why am I here?” I shoot back. “Why not just hand me over to Quinn?”
“Because Jinx claimed you before we even knew what danger you were in.” His hands fist at his sides. “One look at you and something in him just... clicked. Do you have any idea what that did to him? To all of us?”
I try to swallow past the lump in my throat. “I didn’t ask?—”
“For Theo to start nesting with your clothes?” The question hits like a punch to the gut. “Yeah, I noticed you haven’t gone looking for them. Haven’t ventured near his room where he’s building a nest with every piece of clothing he can steal from you.”
“Stop.” Because he’s right. I’ve been avoiding it. Avoiding the evidence of how deep this goes.
“Why?” He pushes off the wall, stalking toward me. “Because if you see it, it becomes real? Because if you acknowledge what he’s doing—what we’re all doing—you can’t pretend this is temporary?”
“You don’t understand?—”
“Then go look.” His voice drops to a dare. “Go see what he’s building. Go face the fact that you’re already pack, whether you wanted it or not.”
“I can’t.” The words scratch out of my throat.
“Can’t or won’t?” His eyes search mine. “Because I see how you and Finn work together. The way your minds sync. Do you know what he could do with someone like you by his side? What you both could accomplish?” He runs a hand down his face. “God help me, but you two could burn the world down or save it, and I’m not sure which terrifies me more.”
The truth of it hangs between us. Because he’s right. Finn and I together would be unstoppable. Just like Jinx’s chaos calls to mine. Just like Theo’s music touches something in my soul I didn’t know existed.
“There are things you don’t know.” The USB drive weighs heavy in my mind. “Things I haven’t told you.”
“Of course there are.” Bitterness edges his words. “There always are. But here’s what I do know—you’re going to run. You’re going to take whatever secrets you’re keeping and disappear. And my pack? The one you never wanted ? They’re going to break.”
“You don’t think I will?” The question slips out before I can stop it.
His eyes meet mine, and for a moment, I see past the Alpha exterior to something wounded beneath. “No. Because I never wanted you here either. And now?” He laughs, but there’s no humor in it. “Now I’m standing here trying to convince you to stay.”
“You want to know the real reason you’re here?” His voice drops lower, dangerous. “Because PCA thinks you need protection, and we need back on the books. That’s the official story.”
“And the unofficial one?”
“The unofficial one is that three members of my pack caught your scent and their whole world shifted.” He moves closer, towering over me. “Do you understand what that means? Really understand?”
I stay silent, because no, I don’t. I’m a beta. We don’t have scent bonds, don’t have that primal pull.
“One scent.” His words come out like gravel. “That’s all it takes for alphas and omegas. One breath and their entire existence realigns. No choice. No hesitation. Just absolute, irreversible certainty.”
“That’s—”
“Terrifying? Unfair?” His laugh is sharp. “Welcome to our world. Where Jinx can meet you in a bathroom and suddenly need to protect you with every fiber of his being. Where Theo can catch your scent on a hoodie and need it so badly he’ll steal every piece of clothing you own. Where Finn—” He cuts himself off, jaw working.
“But I’m a beta,” I whisper, like that changes anything. Like that makes this less real.
“Exactly.” His eyes lock with mine. “You’re a beta. You get to choose. Get to decide how many partners you want, if you want any at all. Get to walk away without your entire biology screaming in protest.”
The weight of what he’s saying settles over me. “They don’t get that choice?”
“No. They caught your scent and that was it. Game over. But you?” His fingers grip my chin, forcing me to hold his gaze. “You get to decide whether to break them or not.”
“That’s not fair.” But even I hear the weakness in my protest.
“Life isn’t fair.” He releases me, stepping back. “If it was, I wouldn’t be standing here warning you about what happens if you run. If you betray them.”
Ice slides down my spine. “Is that what this is? A warning?”
“It’s a promise.” The words come out soft, deadly, sliding down my spine like ice even as his proximity burns. He stalks forward, all contained power and lethal grace, until I’m backed against the wall. His scent shifts, cedar turning sharp as winter frost, the notes deepening into something ancient and primal. “You run? You hurt them?”
He plants both hands on either side of my head, caging me in with his body. This close, I can see the alpha red bleeding into his steel-gray eyes, feel the barely controlled violence in every line of his body. My heart hammers so hard I’m sure he can hear it, smell the adrenaline flooding my system.
“I will cut you off completely.” His voice drops to a whisper that feels like a physical touch. “I will hunt you down myself, use every bond you’ve created against you, make it so they never find you, never sense you—” He leans closer, his breath fanning hot against my ear, making me shiver. “Never have to face the fact that you chose to leave them.”
“You’d do that to your own pack?” The words come out breathy, betraying me. Because I’ve seen how they move together, how they orbit each other like planets around his sun. How even now, with threat rolling off him in waves, my body arches toward his heat like it’s forgotten how to be afraid.
His laugh is dark, sensual despite its cruelty. One hand drops to my throat, not squeezing, just resting there—a reminder of power, of control, of everything he holds back. “To protect them?” His thumb traces my thundering pulse, the gentle touch at odds with his words. “From someone who won’t choose them back?”
His eyes lock with mine, and the hunger there wars with something harder, colder. His scent spikes with a possessive note that makes my knees weak, even as his words promise destruction. “In a heartbeat.”
The contrast shorts out my brain—his gentle touch and violent promises, the way his body shields even as his words threaten, how every alpha instinct in him screams protect while he swears to hunt me down. I’m caught between fight and flight, between pulling him closer and shoving him away.
“And what about you?” I challenge, tilting my head back to meet his gaze despite the way it bares my throat to him. “Could you really cut off your own scent bond?”
The growl that rumbles through his chest vibrates straight through me, setting every nerve ending on fire. “Try me.” His hand slides from my throat to cup my jaw, the touch possessive even as he promises to let me go. “Run, and find out just how far I’ll go to protect what’s mine.”
The mine hangs between us, heavy with double meaning. Because I’m not his—not really, not yet. But the way his body crowds mine, the way his scent marks the air, the way his touch brands my skin... everything in him claims otherwise.
The USB drive feels like it’s burning a hole in my conscience. Because he’s right—I am hiding things. Am planning contingencies. Am keeping one foot out the door.
“They love you,” he says, and the words fall like stones in the quiet room. “They didn’t get a choice in that. But you do. You get to choose whether to stay, to be pack, to let yourself belong. Just know that if you choose wrong?” He moves to the door, pausing with his hand on the knob. “I won’t let you destroy them.”
He leaves me there, surrounded by my unpacked bags and unspoken secrets, with a choice that suddenly feels a lot more permanent than I ever intended.
“Wait!” I catch him in the hallway, my bare feet silent on the hardwood. “What about you?”
He stops but doesn’t turn. “What about me?”
“My scent.” The words escape before I can stop them, hanging in the charged air between us. My heart pounds so hard I wonder if his alpha hearing can pick up every betraying beat. “Am I a match for you too?”
His shoulders go rigid, the muscle in his jaw ticking. For a moment, the silence stretches so tight I think it might shatter. Then he turns, and the raw hunger in his eyes hits me like a physical blow, stealing the air from my lungs.
“Yes.” The word comes out like gravel over silk, rough and smooth at once. His pupils dilate, darkening those steel-gray eyes until they’re almost black. “From the moment you walked into that conference room.” He takes a step closer, and my body responds like he’s already touched me, every nerve ending sparking to life. “Your scent cut through everything else—all my control, all my plans, every fucking wall I’ve built.”
Another step, and now I can feel the heat radiating off him, see the way his hands flex at his sides like he’s physically restraining himself from reaching for me. His cedar scent thickens, gaining a smoky edge that makes my knees weak and my mouth dry.
“You want to know why I fought it?” He braces one hand on the wall beside my head, and I swear I can feel the imprint of it like a brand against my skin, even without contact. “Because the moment I caught your scent, all I could think about was claiming you. Marking you. Making you mine .” His voice drops to a growl on the last word, sending shivers down my spine. “And that? That terrified me more than any threat we’ve faced.”
I can’t look away from his mouth as he speaks, from the way his canines seem sharper, more pronounced. My whole body thrums with awareness, caught between the urge to run and the desperate need to close the distance between us.
“It still does.” The confession rasps out of him, his control visibly fraying. I watch his nostrils flare as he catches my scent—excitement and fear and arousal all tangled together. “Because you’re right to keep those bags packed. Right to plan your escape.” His free hand comes up, hovering near my face without touching, and even that almost-contact feels electric. “The smart thing would be to let you run. To protect my pack by keeping you far away from us.”
“Then why don’t you?” I barely recognize my own voice, breathless and wanting.
His laugh is dark, almost pained. “Because I’m not that strong.” His eyes lock with mine, and the naked hunger there makes me gasp. “No matter how hard I fight it, no matter how many reasons I list, no matter how dangerous you are to everything I’ve built...” His hand finally makes contact, fingers trailing down my cheek with a touch so light it burns. “I still want you. God help me, but I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anything.”
“But you fought it.” Not like Jinx’s immediate acceptance or Theo’s quiet claiming.
“Because one of us had to.” His jaw clenches. “One of us had to stay clear-headed enough to protect them. All of them.”
“And Finn?” Because this has been nagging at me. “He’s a beta. He can’t?—”
“He’s pack-bonded.” Ryker cuts me off. “He feels what we feel. What we want.” A bitter smile twists his lips. “And right now? We all want you.”
The weight of that statement hits me hard. “I don’t understand how this works. How any of this works.”
“It’s simple.” But his voice says it’s anything but. “We’re yours. Whether you want us or not. Whether you stay or run. The only choice here is yours.”
“That’s not fair.” The words sound childish even to my ears.
“No,” he agrees, something softening in his expression. “It’s not. But that’s how it works. Alphas and omegas don’t get to choose who their soul recognizes. We just have to live with it.” He takes a step closer, and his scent—cedar laced with mountain air and something uniquely him—wraps around me. “But you? You get to choose whether to break us or complete us.”
“And if I choose wrong?”
“Then I do what I have to.” His hand comes up, hesitating near my face before dropping. “Because that’s my job. To protect them. Even from you.”
“Think about what I said.” His voice is low, intimate in the shadowed hallway. Each word feels like a physical touch in the charged space between us. “About the unpacked bags. About what you’re really running from.”
He moves closer, and my back hits the wall—I hadn’t even realized I was retreating. His scent surrounds me, cedar with undercurrents of steel and warmth threaded through with something darker, something that makes my pulse spike. The USB drive hidden in his own home feels like a damning reminder of every secret I’m keeping.
“Because tonight—” He braces one hand on the wall beside my head, his body curving over mine without touching. The heat of him sinks into my bones, makes me want to arch into that dangerous space between us. “Tonight we’re trusting you with everything.”
His other hand comes up, knuckles grazing my cheek in a touch so gentle it hurts. The contrast of it—his lethal strength and this butterfly-soft caress—steals my breath. His pupils dilate as he catches my reaction, nostrils flaring at whatever cocktail of desire and guilt my scent is broadcasting.
“And you need to decide.” His thumb traces my bottom lip, the touch sending electricity down my spine. This close, I can see the alpha red threading through his steel-gray eyes, feel the barely leashed power vibrating through him. “If you’re truly part of this pack?—”
He leans closer, until his lips brush my ear, until his next words shape themselves against my skin: “Or just passing through.”
The moment hangs suspended, heavy with everything unsaid. My hands have found their way to his chest without my permission, feeling his heart thunder under my palms. His scent spikes with possession, with need, with something that calls to parts of me I didn’t know existed until this pack crashed into my life.
“Choose wisely, little beta.” He pulls back just enough to meet my eyes, and the raw hunger there makes me gasp. “Because once you’re truly pack—” His hand slides into my hair, grip firm but gentle. “There’s no running far enough to escape what we could be.”
He steps back suddenly, leaving me cold and shaking against the wall. The loss of his heat is physical thing, an ache that settles deep in my chest. His eyes rake over me one last time, taking in my flushed cheeks, my unsteady breathing, the way my hands clench against the urge to pull him back.
“Tonight changes everything.” The words carry down the hallway as he walks away, each step looking like it costs him. “Make sure you’re ready for what comes after.”
I stay there long after he’s gone, trying to steady my breathing, trying to ignore how my body hums with remembered touch.
Because he’s right—tonight changes everything.
Tonight I get my tech back. Tonight I help them infiltrate Sterling Labs.
Tonight I have to decide if finding the truth about what Sterling’s doing to betas is worth losing the first place that’s ever felt like home. Worth losing them .
And the worst part? There’s no right choice. No path that doesn’t end in betrayal.
I just have to decide who I’m betraying—them, or myself.