11. Sophie
Chapter eleven
Sophie
I had made up my mind not to have sex with Ben again until I felt I knew him a little better and, hopefully, I had whatever evidence I needed to dismiss my doubts. Then, I basically seduced him on the flight home.
In my defense, it had been such a fabulous night, and he had been so…everything! Thoughtful, generous, considerate, fun, caring and, most of all, clearly not expecting sex as a reward for it all. I might have had a little more wine than I usually drink, but I’m sure that had nothing to do with it.
Well, I didn’t regret joining the Mile High Club with Ben, but for the foreseeable future, I would return to my original decision.
After breakfast the next day, I put in several hours on the new book. That’s not saying I made much progress, but I think I came up with a central idea that I could be excited about—one with enough bandwidth to flesh out an entire book.
Madi turned up in the middle of the afternoon.
“I’m so caught up at work that I left a little early today, and I wanted to see you. I loved having you back home, Soph, and now I miss that.”
“I miss you too. It’s weird being this close to home and not be able to stay in the house with you all like I usually do.” I hesitated and then asked, “Has there been any sign of our unwanted visitor?”
“Not even a shadow in the night,” she said dramatically and then added, “The police are driving by a lot more often. Maybe that’s having the desired effect. Well, and the fact that there is never a light on in your room—that might also help.”
“Good! That makes me think that this move to Ben’s was the right thing to do.”
“So, what’s it like being here? Do you and Ben spend much time together?”
“We do spend some time together, but, like, this morning I spent a few hours working on my next book. Besides, Ben is with his son a lot of the time. He’s a really great dad, from what I can see.” I didn’t want to tell her that we had gone out on a date—I knew where her imagination would go with that little tidbit.
“So, bring me up to speed on the wedding preparations,” I continued, and the conversation bounced on to the new subject. A couple of hours later, I had agreed to help Madi make table decorations for the wedding reception, and she left to go back home for dinner.
The mention of dinner had made me hungry. I’d had a late breakfast and no lunch, so I went downstairs to see what was going on. I found Anna in the kitchen, making dinner. Ben might make a good breakfast, but that was the limit of his culinary skills.
I liked Anna. I had been a little surprised at how seldom I saw her, but it was a big house and, Ben did spend a lot more time with Caleb than Anna did. She and I talked for a minute, then I went to find the guys.
They were in Caleb’s playroom, putting together an airport made out of little plastic bricks. They both looked up and smiled as I entered.
“Anna said to tell you that dinner will be ready in half an hour,” I told them.
After a delicious dinner of roasted chicken and broccoli, a dish that looked like mashed potatoes but was actually mashed cauliflower, and macaroni and cheese for Caleb, I went back upstairs to work on the book some more.
I was in the middle of a stretch—arms out wide, done with the book for now, when there was a knock on the guest room door. It was Ben, telling me that Caleb was down for the night and asking if I wanted to come downstairs for a glass of wine.
“What great timing you have,” I said. “That sounds wonderful, actually.”
Downstairs, glass of wine in hand, Ben brought up the stalker again.
“Sophie, it occurred to me that since you signed a book for that guy—you know, the one that you remember because someone had to rescue you from him, maybe you could remember his name. You usually ask for the person’s name and then write a short message to them in their new book, right?”
“Yes, that’s right, and, oh my God, Ben, I remember that this guy gave me his full name to use for that. Most people just give me their first name. I don’t remember his last name exactly, but it was like a first name, I think.”
“Okay, I’m going to throw out a bunch of last names that sound like first names. Tell me if one of them sounds right.”
Ben began a list of names, and I just shook my head after each one to tell him it wasn’t that one.
“Roberts…Bryant…Richards…Jacobs…Walters…James…Hughes…Phillips…Peters…Daniels…Adams…Scott…Williams—”
“Williams! Ben, I think that was it! Something Williams. I don’t remember the first name though.”
“That’s okay, Sophie, this was always going to be a long shot! I’m sorry for even bringing it all up again.”
“No, don’t apologize. The sooner this craziness ends, the sooner we can all go back to normal.”
“Does normal include me in your life, Sophie?”
“Wow, you went right to that? Okay, let’s talk about that. I’m obviously attracted to you. I think you know that, right?”
“As I am to you…and I think you would agree that the chemistry is certainly there. But there’s something negative lurking behind the physical stuff, isn’t there?”
“Yes, there is, but before we go there, I’ve got to say, this—whatever it is between us isn’t just physical, Ben. Not for me, at least.”
“Definitely not for me either. I really like being with you. We’ve spent hours just talking—”
I interrupted him there. “Yes, but then I felt like you hustled me out of your house right after the first hookup.”
“Oh, Sophie, I’m so sorry you thought I was trying to get rid of you. I wanted you to stay. I really did. I got a hard on just thinking about you in my kitchen the next morning, wearing nothing but one of my T-shirts. But it would be so irresponsible of me to trail women in and out of this house in front of my nine-year-old son.”
“Oh, I see. So where do I fit into this trail of women you’re keeping away from your house?” I asked, with a definitely frosty tone of voice.
“There’s been no women, Sophie. I mean I’ve called on a couple of female acquaintances when I needed a plus one for some event, but I haven’t felt anything beyond friendship for any of them. You’re the first woman I’ve thought I could really get serious about. But what about Caleb? What if he gets attached to you, and we don’t work out? Then what do I do with my life? How many times do I put him through that?”
“So how do you explain my presence in your house to him?”
“I’ve told him a simple version of the truth—that you’re just not able to stay at your own house right now, and I really like you, so I’m letting you stay here. It’s not something I’ve ever done before or am ever likely to do again.”
“So no trail to worry about. Okay then, how would you proceed, ideally, with someone you thought you could be serious about?”
“I’ve never had a plan for that, Sophie, since it’s never come up before. I guess that I would want to spend time with that person while keeping them separate from my life.
“Is that why you didn’t tell me that you were parenting a child?”
“Well that, and something else. Do you remember when we were at the property next door to your parent’s? You were leaving the wedding shower and saw me there, and we got to talking. You vented about all the women prying into your love life, asking when you were going to have children, and you told them it wasn’t even on your radar. You were so frustrated about the pressure to have children, that I worried you wouldn’t want to even consider a relationship with me because of Caleb. Cowardly, I know,” he said.
“Well, I understand now what a dilemma it is for you to feel as though you could get serious about me and for me to be living here at the same time, but I don’t know what to do about that. You did make the offer, and it did—and still does—feel like the right place for me to be right now.”
“Well, I’m not about to kick you out, so we’ll just have to deal with figuring us out while you’re here. Are you okay with that?”
“Well, I appreciate your honesty since that’s what this feels like, but it’s clear that my being here is creating a little stress for you, and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with that.”
“Neither do I. Why don’t we just take it one day at a time and see how it goes?”