Chapter 47
CHAPTER 47
“H ey, kid.” Doug sat next to her in the staff room at the Sneaky Leaks office.
Rayna forced herself to smile at him, to pretend everything was fine even though she had just lost her house, her rescue, and the man she loved. “Hi, Doug. What’s up?”
“You look like shit,” he said bluntly.
She made a face at him. “Keep talking that way, and I’ll put in an HR complaint, Douglas.”
He didn’t laugh at her joke like he usually did. His face solemn, he put a warm hand on her forearm and squeezed. “Judy told me what happened, kiddo. I’m real sorry about the rescue and the house. I know how much both meant to you.”
Oh great, now she was going to freaking cry in front of her boss. Could this day get any worse?
Her eyes watering like crazy, she blinked hard and looked away. “Thanks, Doug.” Her throat tight, she said, “I signed the papers for the sale of the house and dropped them at the real estate agency before I started work this morning. That was… hard.”
He gave her a sympathetic look. “You find Mack yet?”
“I didn’t tell anyone in the rescue what Mack did. How do you know about it?” she asked sharply.
“Judy overheard a few people talking about it at the coffee shop this morning.”
She sighed. “God, this fucking town. Nothing ever stays a secret, does it?”
“It sure doesn’t.” Doug squeezed her arm again. “Go home, kiddo. In fact, take the week off.”
She shook her head. “I just took some vacation.”
“You’ve got plenty left over,” he said.
“I do, but that’s not the point,” she said. “I have two calls this afternoon and a full schedule this week.”
“We’ve got it covered,” he said. “Ranjit will cover your jobs today, and Judy and I will figure out the rest of the week.”
“Doug, I can’t do that to you,” she said. “It isn’t fair and -”
Doug shook his head. “I’m the boss, not you. Go home, take care of yourself, and call me when you’re moving out your furniture. I’ll bring my truck and our two oldest to help.”
Now she did start to cry, the hot tears sliding down her cheeks in a heavy torrent she couldn’t stop. Doug reached into his pocket and pulled out a worn but clean handkerchief. He handed it to her. “Wipe your face, kiddo, you’re leaking a bit.”
She took it from him with a small smile, scrubbing her face dry as Doug stood. “Go home, Rayna. That’s a direct order, and you have to do what I say because I’m your damn boss.”
She smiled again, reaching out to snag his hand and give it a tight squeeze. “Thank you, Doug.”
“You’re welcome, kid.”
* * *
Rayna collapsed on the couch with a soft sigh. Bea was snoring away on the far end, and she petted the beagle as she stared at the empty bookshelf on the far wall. She’d just finished packing everything on it, and a wave of depression overtook her as she stared at the boxes.
She didn’t want to give in to her sorrow or her regret, but holy fuck, the temptation to just climb into a hot bath and cry her eyes out was overwhelming. She rested her head on the back of the couch, rubbing at her temples.
“Crying in the bathtub won’t help, right, Bea?”
Bea snorted softly, her tail making quiet thumps against the couch before she started snoring again. Rayna stared at the ceiling, telling herself not to cry as her throat burned and the ache in her chest threatened to drown her in grief.
She’d come home from work and immediately started packing, knowing that if she even took a moment, like she was doing now, to allow herself to think about how badly she’d fucked up, she would be a useless puddle of grief and regret.
So, why the fuck are you just sitting here? Thinking about how you’ve lost everything you love isn’t going to get shit done.
That was very true, but her sudden exhaustion kept her ass firmly on the couch as tears leaked down her cheeks again. She’d told herself repeatedly that if she kept her head down and worked her ass off, maybe even found a second job, she could have the rescue’s debt paid off and start over in a few years. She could help animals again, and, yeah, maybe she wouldn’t have a house that was all hers, but did it matter? It hurt like fuck, and losing her home made her feel like a fucking failure, but ultimately, what mattered was helping the animals. And she could start helping them a hell of a lot sooner if she put money toward starting up the rescue again rather than saving for a down payment on a house.
She scrubbed at her face and stared at the ceiling again. The other rescues had agreed to take all of the animals from Little Whiskers into care, and she had a solid plan for how she would fix this screw up and start over. So, why was she so fucking sad? Why did it feel like she was suffocating under a grief so deep that she’d never find her way to happiness again?
Because you know that you will never be truly happy again? Not without Isaac.
Another harsh wave of bleak depression washed over her. She fished her phone out of the pocket of her hoodie, her thumbs hovering over the keyboard. She had blocked Isaac’s number, not because she thought he would try to contact her, but so that it would stop her from texting or calling him.
She’d been so angry with him that night… no, that wasn’t being honest with herself. She’d been so hurt by his casual talk of tearing down her house. She’d convinced herself that Isaac now understood how much the house meant to her, that he couldn’t still possibly want her property. Not when they were…
Falling in love?
She took in a shuddering breath. Did Isaac love her? She’d hurt him terribly on Tuesday evening, she had seen it on his face, but his ability to so casually toss her from his life, to so quickly and cruelly announce that she was nothing but a mistake to him, had cut her to the damn bone.
You still love him.
She barked harsh laughter, making Bea snort herself awake, yawn, and give her a bleary look of disapproval before closing her eyes again.
“I do still love him, Bea. Even after everything that’s happened, even after he tears this damn house down and builds a new one in its place, I’ll still love him. How’s that for ridiculous?”
Bea’s reply was a low snore, and Rayna scratched Bea’s throat before saying, “What will I do when he finds someone else? When he falls in love and gets married and has babies?”
The chime of her doorbell app was her only answer. She brought up the video feed, hoping like hell it wasn’t someone trying to drop off an animal. No doubt, everyone in town knew the rescue was closing and the reason why, but she wouldn’t put it past people to still drop off animals at her doorstep. It was -
“Oh my God.” Her breath caught in her throat, and she sat up straight, staring wildly at the screen. “What is he doing here?”
She stood, taking only a few steps toward the door before stopping and biting at her bottom lip. She couldn’t answer the door. She would say something ridiculous like “I love you” if she answered the damn door.
She jumped about a foot when Isaac knocked hard on the door, and his voice, muffled but clear, said, “Rayna, I know you’re in there. I stopped at Sneaky Leaks, and they told me you were home.”
Feeling way too panicky, she pressed the microphone button and said, “I’m not home.”
Isaac raised an eyebrow and stared directly into the doorbell camera. “Your car is in the driveway.”
She slapped herself on the forehead before saying, “I’m out with Emma. She drove.”
“No, you’re not,” he said.
She crept down the hallway toward the front door. She stared indecisively at the door handle before studying Isaac on her phone screen. God, he looked so good.
You should let him inside. He probably just wants one last hate fuck. Nothing wrong with that, right? We need one last time with him, one last chance to remember how he tastes, how he kisses, how he fucks… please, Rayna.
She reached for the door handle before pausing. What was she doing? She didn’t know why Isaac was here, but it wasn’t to fuck her. And it certainly wasn’t to tell her he loved her.
“Rayna, open the door.”
It was so hard to resist him, but she said, “It’s not a good time.”
“We need to talk about the house sale,” he said.
Her stomach clenched. “I signed the papers. You can talk to Kira - she has them.”
“I know you did.” He held up a brown envelope before sliding the papers out of it. “I stopped at Kira’s office and asked her to give them to me.”
Shock made her stagger toward the door when, with a determined look on his face, Isaac held up the papers and tore them in half.