4. BELLA
4
BELLA
M y chest was so tight I couldn’t breathe. Chris Blackwood was my boss. My boss . Of all the people in the world, why him?
The Universe had a sick sense of humor.
My mind was spinning, a storm of questions and emotions raging inside me.
Had he known? Had he asked for me? Did he want me here for some reason?
But no, as I’d watched his face, the shock and anger written plainly across it, I knew he hadn’t expected this. He’d lost the charming playboy face he usually wore so well.
He hadn’t known I’d be here. His face told me everything—the disbelief, the frustration, and then the way his jaw clenched in anger. No, he hadn’t planned this any more than I had.
Shit.
That should have made me feel better, but it didn’t. Instead, it pissed me off even more. He wanted me gone . He’d just threatened that.
Sure, I’d managed to skirt that issue, and I was here to stay. But the way he looked at me, like I was some kind of mistake that needed to be fixed, a misunderstanding, someone who’d screwed up.
Not him, of course. Why would he have been the one to screw up? Oh, no . Not the perfect Chris Blackwood. Someone else had to be to blame for this, of course. It made my blood boil. I was furious with him.
Who the hell did he think he was, just wanting to discard people the way he did? I was a person and in the end, what did it matter who cleaned up after him?
Chris was just shy of someone wiping his ass for him.
I bristled.
He wasn’t that bad. I mean, I’d known the guy, once. Really known him—not just this strange arm’s-length thing we had going now. He’d been so much more than the rich kid with the super famous parents and the business legacy.
But when he acted like this, snapping his fingers and expecting the world to jump, it was hard to see the guy that had been underneath all of that.
Was he still there?
Times change.
“Bella.”
When I turned, Chris stood in front of me. Where had he come from? His legs were shoulder-width apart, hands crossed. I glanced around. We were alone.
He cleared his throat. “Miss Rossi.”
Right. Professional. I’d told him not to call me Bell. It made me think back to the past too much.
“Yes? Is there something you need me to do?”
“You know this situation isn’t ideal.”
“Yeah, I get it,” I said. “Easier to just get rid of me. Out of sight, out of mind.”
He clenched his jaw. “That’s not what I’m trying to say.”
“Then what?” He hadn’t given me enough time to pull myself together. He’d barely stepped off the boat and now he was back. “I’m here to do a job. What’s there to say about it?”
His jaw tightened, and there was a struggle in his eyes, a battle between whatever he wanted to say and what he thought he should say.
“This isn’t personal,” he finally ground out, though his voice had an edge to it. “If you can keep it professional, so can I.”
“There’s nothing else?”
The skin around his eyes tightened just a little bit.
“No.” His voice was low, and he glanced away for a moment. “I guess there isn’t.”
We stood in silence for a moment, staring at each other. I jutted my chin up and refused to be the first to break eye contact, to give in. This had become a battle of wills—a staring competition.
“The next four days won’t be easy,” Chris said smoothly.
“I can handle it.”
“I didn’t think Carla would assign someone who couldn’t, but I have high expectations.”
“I know all about your expectations,” I said.
Chris’s brows pulled together in a deeper frown, and God, he was so handsome. Those blue eyes… I could get lost in them. Drown in them. And the way he looked almost puzzled just made him that much more attractive.
Stop it. Stop, stop, stop. This was the guy who didn’t even have the courage to face me the morning after a couple of weeks ago.
This was the guy who’d walked out of my life once upon a time without looking back.
He could be handsome as hell. That didn’t mean shit if he didn’t have the backbone and the personality to back it. There had been a time when I’d thought I could see deep enough into who he was to see the real Chris, and it didn’t matter what the rest of the world thought, what he showed them.
Turned out that I was digging so deep to find the nugget of value in him, I didn’t realize how I got burned through the layers that made up the rest of him.
“You have my itinerary?” Chris asked, all business now.
“Of course.”
“Miss Talbot will arrive in two days’ time. I expect her room to be ready and for you to receive her.”
I swallowed hard. I’d noticed he had a plus-one to a fancy event when I’d tried to sift through my thoughts, glancing at the papers as if I was busy so the others didn’t realize how rattled I was.
“Will do,” I said, using my most professional voice.
Chris studied my face as if he wanted to gauge my reaction.
“I’ll be back later for tonight, and I expect it all to be ready for the soiree.”
“I won’t disappoint,” I said.
He turned on his heel and left, and I could finally breathe.
It felt like the moment had crushed my chest, squeezing harder and harder, and I sagged, out of breath.
“Miss Rossi?” one of my staff members asked. “We’re ready for you.”
“On my way,” I said, straightening. I had an inspection to do and then a few other things to take care of before I could even think about escaping.
This yacht had looked like a thing of beauty when I’d seen it first. The name had been obscured by two staff members polishing the side, or else I’d have known what to expect before Chris blindsided me.
It was only after I’d seen him, been horrified by his presence on the boat I was supposed to work on, that I’d noticed the name, and then the owner, on the papers I’d been handed.
As soon as I had a moment alone, I walked down the stairs and toward the staff quarters. I locked myself in my small cabin and sat on the bed, knees pressed together. I took a couple of deep breaths, trying to steady myself.
It didn’t work. The more I tried to calm my heart rate and even out my breathing, the more upset I became. I wasn’t going to be able to just shake this off.
I pulled out my phone, my fingers moving quickly over the screen. I needed to vent. To talk to someone who would understand, who wouldn’t judge me for being so rattled by all of this. I typed a quick message to Gigi, my best friend and my lifeline when things got tough.
You are NOT going to believe who my new boss is…
Gigi responded almost instantly with a series of shocked emojis, followed by a text: Don’t tell me it’s some rich creep who’s going to make your life hell?
Worse , I typed back. It’s Chris.
A second later, my phone rang. She had to be somewhere she wasn’t working to be able to call so quick. Backpacking around Europe didn’t give her a lot of time to chat—she worked wherever she could to earn a meal and a bed for the night and then she was offline.
I didn’t even have to look at the screen to know it was Gigi. “Hey,” I answered, trying to keep my voice light. I pressed my free hand against my chest and tried to take another deep breath through my nose.
“Oh my god, Bella!” Gigi’s voice was shrill with excitement over the news. “Chris? As in, the Chris? What the hell is he doing there?”
I groaned. “I knew he would be around here somewhere, but I thought if I worked on a yacht, then I wouldn’t run into him. I would just be on the yacht, and my boss would be out and if they ran into them, it wouldn’t mean anything. I didn’t for one second think about the possibility that he could be the one to actually be my new boss.”
“Holy shit, what are the chances?” Gigi exclaimed.
“Apparently, the universe has a screwed-up sense of humor,” I muttered, falling backward on my bed. “He’s the owner of the yacht I’ve been assigned to for this whole damn show.”
Gigi let out a low whistle. “It’s just four days, right?”
“Four days can feel like an eternity,” I mumbled.
“Are you okay?”
I forced a laugh, trying to sound casual. “Yeah, I’m fine. I mean, it’s just a job, right?”
“Uh-huh,” Gigi replied. She didn’t believe me. “Did seeing him again bring back old feelings?”
Sleeping with him sure as hell did , I thought, but I didn’t tell her that. I hadn’t told her that we’d slept together. I knew I would have just gotten a lecture from her about making stupid choices, and since I already knew that—and Chris had left along with the first light of day without so much as a goodbye—it didn’t matter that I’d had a misstep.
“No,” I lied. “Of course not. It’s been more than a decade since we were together. I told you, we were over ages ago. He’s just… ugh , you know. He’s insufferable, as spoiled and self-righteous as every other loaded yacht owner or buyer. The past is in the past.”
“Right,” Gigi said, drawing out the word. “So, why do you sound like you’re about to hyperventilate?”
I rolled my eyes, even though she couldn’t see me. “Because it’s annoying. He’s acting like I’m some inconvenience that just showed up to ruin his life. Like it’s my fault I’m here, or something.”
Gigi’s laughter was bright and easy against the turmoil that swirled in my chest. “Well, you told me you’ve always had a way of getting under his skin. I’m sure he’s just as frustrated as you are. Besides, if you don’t care, you win.”
I smiled. “Yeah, I guess so. It’s not such a big deal, anyway.”
Maybe if I kept telling myself that, I would start believing it.
“Look,” Gigi said, her tone serious. “You’re there for a job. So use it to your advantage. If he used you at any point, making you feel like you weren’t enough—” I squeezed my eyes shut when she reminded me of what I’d told her… the feelings that I happened to still feel, “—then use him right back. Take whatever opportunity this gives you and run with it.”
I nodded. “Yeah, you’re right. It’s just a job. I’m not going to let him get to me.”
“That’s my girl,” she said, and I could hear the smile in her voice. “Besides, if anyone can handle Chris Blackwood, it’s you.”
I laughed, a little lighter now. “Yeah, maybe. Thanks, G.”
“Anytime,” she replied. “Now go kick some ass, okay?”
“You got it,” I said, ending the call.
Gianna de Luca was my best friend, always there for me no matter how tough life got. I’d met her in college, and we’d been close ever since. Either she’d been around for the big stuff in my life, or I’d told her about it, and she knew all about my ride with Chris before he’d decided to call it quits, as if it had meant nothing.
As if I’d meant nothing.
She knew just how to talk me down from the ledge.
But as I stared at the screen, a wave of doubt washed over me. I’d lied to Gigi. I’d lied to myself. I wasn’t over Chris, not really. I’d told myself I was for so long, and when I hadn’t seen him, it was easy to forget, easy to believe that the past didn’t matter anymore. Now that he was back here and I was stuck on his yacht, I had to face the facts.
I took a deep breath, shoving the phone back into my pocket. I couldn’t let anyone see that he still had this effect on me. Especially not Chris.
I couldn’t let him know how much it hurt to see him again, to be reminded of everything we’d lost. The night we’d spent together had been a huge mistake. It had just opened old wounds that had never healed.
I squared my shoulders, determination settling in my chest like a stone. I would do my job. I would be professional. And I would make damn sure that Chris Blackwood never came close to breaking me again. I mean, that had been decades ago and I was bigger than that, better than that, more grown up now.
Right?